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Dec 7, 2015 16:59
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I for one did not expect them to bring back Chef, considering the bad blood involved with Isaac Hayes leaving the show (and his subsequent passing). Then again there's been like one instance of South Park being burned for stepping on the wrong toes so of course it's going to happen. I'm still waiting for Darth Chef from that episode to show up but lol at trying to gently caress with Disney right now re: Star Wars.
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Dec 7, 2015 16:59
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  BECAUSE THE BIG BAD GOVERNMENT MAN DECIDED TO STRIP BUCK rear end NAKED IN THE LAST UPDATE, HALF THE SCREENSHOTS IN THIS HAVE GRATUITOUS OLD MAN DONG. CONSIDER YOURSELF ADEQUATELY WARNED. Alright guys, this is it. This is the last story update for this LP. Are you excited? I'm excited. So let's not waste any time.  Well, maybe waste a little time. The game is taking this moment to not-so-subtly suggest you should take one last look at your weapon and armor patches and ensure everything is copacetic.  Fiery Surge is the patch I put on the helmet. Otherwise, look at those bonuses.  Healing Surge and Fan the Flames are the patches on the robe.  Healer's Balm is the patch on the hand armor. Yes, we're back to the "become unable to take damage through fire attacks" build. Like I said, this fight is mostly a formality anyway and I like this play-style.  Finally I went the boring route and gave our new staff a +35% damage sticker.  And just for the sake of mentioning it, Princess Kenny is naturally disallowed from joining us in fighting Princess Kenny.   What final dungeon would be complete without a shop set up somewhere in it?  : Welcome weary adventurers! You know how before the big final boss fight of any game there is a conveniently placed shop where you can stock up on health potions and arrows and stuff? Well, this is that shop.: Can I interest you in some of my wares?   The patches and stickers are likewise as strong as they should be. This merchant also sells a wig that looks like Clyde's hair, and a whole bunch of restoratives. In the incredibly likely event you burned some items against the Sparrow Prince and Nazi Zombie Chef, take this opportunity and stock up! Video:  This incredibly long (20 minutes!) video has not only the final boss fight, but also the ending and the credits. There's also an achievement that I hosed up doing here. If you fight Princess Kenny in your girl makeover getup, you get an achievement. I initially misunderstood and thought that you only had to be wearing the wig. I went back and did it properly later, and it's not as difficult as you might imagine that would be. Video:  If you're interested in seeing the fight in "challenge mode" as I call it, then you should click the achievement box. This video skips the cutscenes and just has the fight. Spoilers, it's actually easier in this video because I'm not intentionally delaying the fight to show stuff off. There are also three other final boss related achievements you can get. One is for fighting Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff, and the other is for fighting Princess Kenny while afflicted by Dire Aids. If you want to, you can do all three at the same time. The last achievement is for merely beating the game.      : Give us the Stick, Princess Kenny. You don't want to go down like this, brah.  : Mrmm mmrm! Mrmmmphm mrmmmm mrphrmm mmmm!  Princess Kenny's Theme starts playing here, and continues playing throughout the first part of the fight.   This is so anime it hurts.      This is white space so the next image doesn't contrast as much.  Because the G-Man decided now would be a perfect time to grab his man boobs.  : Yes! Go Princess Kenny! : (idle) Good work, Princess Kenny! Finish them off!: (idle) Princess Kenny truly is the fairest maiden in all the land!: (idle) You fools! Princess Kenny controls the universe!: (idle) The Princess's magic, it's so pretty!: (idle) Finish these weaklings, Princess Kenny!: (idle) Show them, Princess Kenny!So as I alluded to earlier, this is a multi-part fight. The first part of it is an unremarkable fight against Princess Kenny.  Oh and bleeds work again. You know, just in case this fight wasn't easy enough.  Because Kenny is an anime princess, she can shoot rainbows out of her hands.  She can also turn her rats against us.  They surprisingly don't inflict bleeding.  I'm not sure why this screenshot is here, but no reason not to show it. We're about to beat the poo poo out of Kenny with our stick.  That was pretty easy.   : It's all over, Princess Kenny. Douchebag is too powerful for you.   : What's she doing? : No, Kenny, don't drink that!   Kenny is stuffing the stick into her dress.      : (Speaking German) : Aaagh! Nazi zombie Princess Kenny!: gently caress! : (AAARRGH!) : This is it King Douchebag! The final battle! Your buddies stand with you! I will just stand over here.: (idle) Kick her rear end Douchebag! Do it!: (idle) Make me proud, King Douchebag.: (idle) Don't gently caress this up, King Douchebag.: (idle) Man this is a pretty sick boss fight.: (idle) If you kill Princess Kenny I'll let you hold the Stick of Truth for a couple minutes.: (idle) Hey, Princess Kenny, is it too late for me to join your side?: You've got this.: Come on, King Douchebag!: I believe in you, King Douchebag.: You're gonna pay, Princess Kenny!: You're the Dragonborn! You don't take poo poo from anybody.: You HAVE to win! The future of the whole town is at stake.Welcome to the second part of the fight. That HP reading is wrong by the way. Princess Kenny doesn't have 36,738 health. No, she has 110,214 health. : Use your rainbow attack, Princess Kenny! As befitting the final boss of the game, Kenny's received a bit of an upgrade. The rainbow attack is hitting this hard through Douchebag's block.  You can also inflict bleed to Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny for some reason. : Hit them with the zombie vomit!   This attack really hurts. It hits three times in very quick succession, for up to 6,000 damage. Anyway, this is mostly a gimmick fight. I'm not sure if it's every three turns or if it's at certain HP intervals, but eventually the G-Man will tell Princess Kenny to use a special attack.  : Yes, drink your goo, Princess Kenny! You'll be invincible!   : Oh no you don't!    : (cries) : A lucky shot but no matter. Princess Kenny still has lots of tricks up her puffy sleeves. : Ow, I hurt my leg. You better go on without me. : Go for the j-jug-- j-jugular!: Wow, what a fantastic boss fight.: That Princess is a stone cold bitch.: Don't be blinded by her b-b-beau-- tits!: The girl we knew as Princess Kenny is dead.: This gives me an idea for an epic poem. It's about a bard and his trusty Dragonborn sidekick.The other gimmick of this fight is that after you block Princess Kenny's QTE attack, the next companion in line steps up to the plate.  Jimmy's part of the fight goes really smoothly due to all the buffs he can lay down. Also Kenny slowly bleeds to death.  : Give these vermin a taste of their own medicine, Princess Kenny!    : No! Where are you going with Princess Kenny's rats?! drat you! : Whew. I better c-catch my breath. : Hooray, King Douchebag!: Pull her loving pigtails! (the subtitle adds "Friends after this, Princess Kenny."): Hit that old mean princess!: The Princess must be brought to justice!: I'm ashamed I ever had a secret crush on you, Princess Kenny! Kenny's health goes down to 0 and...  : Oh my god! You killed Kenny!: YOU B- oh no wait he's back.Try and claim otherwise all you like, you all have been waiting for this line for the entire LP.   Princess Kenny has three life bars, thus why I said she has 110,000 health earlier. If you've been destroying her armor (like I have been) then she doesn't get any back when she stands back up.  Butters' shield is a pretty lucky result to get from his Professor Chaos move. Douchebag is done taking damage for this fight.  : Death comes for you, Dragonborn! You'd better pray for a miracle.  : Oh hamburgers!: So much for that. : MUHAHAHAHA! Foolish Princess Kenny! Do you not know that Death is the servant of Chaos?  : How can this be?! : All that chaos energy's making me a little woozy.: Fresh meat for my trusty wolf companion!: Dig deep, King Douchebag!: Hang in there, King Douchebag!: Come on, New Kid, finish her off!: Keep fighting! She's wearing down!: Princess Kenny can't win! You've gotta stop her!  : I think all the dying is making her tired! Keep killing her! : Princess Kenny! Call upon your beautiful Nazi unicorn!   I love the parallels to the regular unicorn attack. Like instead of a cute regular heart in the corner, there's a real heart.     : poo poo, stupid loving unicorn!   : My sword hand's got a cramp, I need a minute.It looks like we're out of companions.  : poo poo, I guess I'm the only hope! Alright, it's you and me now, Douchebag. For the fate of humanity! Just Douchebag and Cartman left. Together they have to tear through another 29,000 HP. Can they do it?  As it turns out, not together. Cartman never gets a chance to land a hit.  It turns out, Princess Kenny really loving hates Cartman. On the upside, she killed herself taking out Cartman one last time.  Or not. Well poo poo. Guys, I think we're screwed.  : She doesn't stay dead! We can't beat her!: Dude, we're hosed! There's no way! : There is one way. We're gonna have to break the Gentlemen's Code.: What?! Cartman, you can't possibly mean... : What other choice do we have, KYLE?! King Douchebag, you remember long ago, I made you swear an oath to never fart on anyone's balls. I am now asking you... to break that oath.: He's right, it's our only chance. : Fart on Princess Kenny's balls, King Douchebag. DO IT! You guys have been wondering when the payoff for the  : Now, King Douchebag! Fart on Princess Kenny's balls!: What about the Gentlemen's Oath? First gotta ensure we have enough mana to actually do this.  As far as the game goes, any fart will work. But, c'mon. There is only one possible fart to use in this situation.   : (MUFFLED WAIL)         : We- we're cured! : (speaking German)      Looks like this zombie plague had reached critical mass.   : We're all better now, daddy. : That's right, son. The Dragonborn must have farted on a princess's balls. It appears that Douchebag farted Clyde's house clean out of existence. Look at the size of that crater.    At least the rebuilding efforts are coming along nicely.  : You guys sure about this? : There's no other way.: It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all.       : So what do you guys wanna play now?: How about Dinosaur Hunters?: Or Pharaohs and Mummies! : Let's ask Douchebag! What do you wanna play next, dude?  : Screw you guys, I'm going home.  For some reason, Douchebag runs off with his eyes closed.  : Wow. What a dick.   With that stinger, the main story of this LP draws to a close. There's one more update left, and that will be on Thursday. That one will probably be pretty long, as it's going to have all the extra dialogue I missed or couldn't find a place to put. It'll also have screenshots of all the various outfits and weapons in the game, as well as the last Facebook friend. See you guys then.
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Dec 7, 2015 17:03
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I love how your character suddenly gains a voice just to say "screw you guys, I'm going home".
I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
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Dec 7, 2015 17:20
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Whoo. Great LP!
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Dec 7, 2015 17:28
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Good LP. Glad I read through this instead of buying the game.
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Dec 7, 2015 18:09
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I'm glad you all liked the LP.  So, I keep mentioning the script I've been using. This is the fabled script. Just to give everyone a preview of the, frankly, massive amount of text that I haven't even covered yet. There's also this: 
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Dec 7, 2015 18:25
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code:
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Dec 7, 2015 18:57
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Woah, did not see the Chef thing coming. Amazed that hadn't been spoiled for me.
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Dec 7, 2015 21:14
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Interesting; I hadn't realized that you can cycle through the entire party while fighting Princess Kenny and get a QTE move from each of them. Granted, I was just trying to get rid of him as soon as possible, because every time I let myself slow down a bit the government dude started fiddling with his ballsack.
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Dec 7, 2015 21:32
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... Wait a minute, how can the stick sink if it's made of wood?
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Dec 7, 2015 22:19
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Mraagvpeine posted:... Wait a minute, how can the stick sink if it's made of wood? It's not a witch.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:21
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Bravo. Wonderful LP. Loved this game when it first came out, and it was great reading through someone else's experience of it. I seriously can't wait for the sequel.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:22
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This game is probably the best South Park thing to come out in years.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:32
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Waffleman_ posted:This game is probably the best South Park thing to come out in years. And we have Fractured but Whole coming soon, which I think will wind up being bigger and better than this game, since I doubt it's gonna have the same circumstances that Stick of Truth had.
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Dec 7, 2015 22:50
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I can't believe the final joke is just a line that Cartman used to always say. Goddammit. Thanks for the LP.
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Dec 8, 2015 00:12
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I mean...what else do you say after three days like that.
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Dec 8, 2015 01:00
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Waffleman_ posted:I mean...what else do you say after three days like that. Good point. What would you say if the first game you played with your friends involved going to Canada and getting AIDS, dressing up as a girl to get an abortion, and winning the final battle by unleashing a devastating fart on somebody's balls?
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Dec 8, 2015 01:06
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Pittsburgh Lambic posted:Good point. What would you say if the first game you played with your friends involved going to Canada and getting AIDS, dressing up as a girl to get an abortion, and winning the final battle by unleashing a devastating fart on somebody's balls? I'd imagine a scream that slowly increases in volume and intensity.
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Dec 8, 2015 01:13
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I'd probably just Craig it and flip them off.
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Dec 8, 2015 01:14
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Kemix posted:Fractured but Whole Hah! I get it
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Dec 8, 2015 02:13
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So, with DoubleNegative's permission I'd like to talk a bit about the game's history which took place over 4 years from concept to finished product. During the middle of development Microsoft canceled a high profile project with Obsidian which resulted in laying off 30 staff members who were also working on the game. A few months later THQ went under and South Park Studios tried outright to buy the rights but THQ won a court case and sold development to Ubisoft. Ubisoft saw that the project was in no condition to publish and ultimately delayed the game for almost a year. There was a lot of doom and gloom but it was probably a blessing in disguise. Ubisoft outright stated it wasn't finished and Obsidian's opinion post-launch supports that. THQ likely wanted a quick buck in early 2013 knowing they'd probably go under and I don't think this game would've been as highly revered had it come out that year. Perhaps more so than any high profile video game, The Stick of Truth has a lot of content that was heavily advertised up front yet didn't make the final version. I'd like to show you some of that and maybe appreciate how it was a miracle this game was finished at all.  The original script was something like 500 pages. We may never know what was contained in those pages but concept art paints a different story than Nazi zombies.    It seems a portion of the game would've involved a war between Crab People and Underpants Gnomes. While there is a scene with the gnomes you only see a single crab person and they provide no mechanical benefit.  Early screenshots show combat involving crab people and they're still in the promotional videos.  Christmas Town was a planned level where Mr. Hankey and Santa Claus lived. Feargus Urqhuart, Obsidian's CEO, has said it was an example of them just going for too much. It seems like Canada was a late edition to the game and I wouldn't be surprised if it was a quick fill in for Christmas Town.    It looks like factions would've played a larger role in the game. Wendy and other girls can be seen fighting alongside the boys, there was to be a quest rescuing Polly Prissy Pants from Children of the Corn Gingers, and vampire kids showing up around a cathedral.  Girls seemed to have played a larger role in the early screens. They show up as elf healers or archers. Wendy and Bebe, in their battle armor, can be seen in early screenshots and Wendy even has unused dialog that implies she participates in the school assault.  A poster of Jimmy with some goblin-painted kids in the background. Being that orcs and goblins. Probably just for promotional reasons but I wouldn't be surprised if you were supposed to fight them at some point in development. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-1dMvWnOdE E3 2012 announcement trailer. You can see a big war involving vampire kids and even some crab people. Butters is seen attacking some trashy looking girls, Woodland Critters used as a summon, and a giant Craig attacking city hall. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tLmOcBjYFg E3 2013 trailer with Randy Marsh doing the Nagasaki. Ironically the game wouldn't come out during its holiday 2013 season which was made fun of in the Black Friday special that year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4N8yEfr1M The second official trailer. There are a bunch of areas on Cartman's map that didn't appear in the game but have been seen in some form during production. These include the cemetery/monster lab where the goth kids roamed, Hell's pass, and the elf forest. There's also an, uhm, very lewd Mr. Slave on his bed, rear end out. Yeah. At the end you can see the pre-order weapons pack which never came out. They also had planned some story DLC that never came to fruition. I'm trying to dig around for more unused audio files. In addition to Wendy having some cut audio there's also Briden Gueermo and Big Gay Al among a few others. Strangely there are two voices for Douchebag, one higher pitched than the other yet you only hear one in the end regardless of your character. al-azad fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Dec 8, 2015 |
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Dec 8, 2015 02:57
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Well as far as payoff goes, that ending was about as good as we could have hoped for. I also like that all of your friends get a chance to partake in the fight, and I also like that Nazi Zombie Kenny's German shouts are muffled in the same way.
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Dec 8, 2015 03:09
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It's over already? poo poo. Well done, mate.
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Dec 8, 2015 03:29
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Does Princess Kenny actually just straight murder Cartman, or was it a coincidence/did Double Negative miss the block? Also, does she actually die from the effort, or was that DoT?
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Dec 8, 2015 03:37
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al-azad posted:So, with DoubleNegative's permission I'd like to talk a bit about the game's history which took place over 4 years from concept to finished product. Holy crap, that's all really cool. A really neat glimpse of what could have been. Gonna link to this in the second post of the OP. Gensuki posted:Does Princess Kenny actually just straight murder Cartman, or was it a coincidence/did Double Negative miss the block? It was all a pretty funny coincidence. I'm notoriously bad at blocking attacks, and Kenny decided she hated Cartman in particular for whatever reason. She died from the DoT as well. Apparently Kenny will actually murder Cartman if you take too long at the fart-on-her-balls scene. It results in a game over, I'm told. Though understandably I'm not going to replay 99% of the 12 minute final boss fight to record it.
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Dec 8, 2015 05:34
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Great job, DoubleNegative! Looking forward to the last post showing all the missed content. Thanks also to al-Azad for showing all the stuff that didn't make it in. Very interesting. I wonder if Wendy was supposed to be a buddy at one point. She would have rocked. Here's a link to the trailer for the game's upcoming sequel. Enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB6P5gpNan0
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Dec 8, 2015 15:58
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achtungnight posted:Great job, DoubleNegative! Looking forward to the last post showing all the missed content. gently caress, with this and the Ni No Kuni sequel, I may actually have to spring for a PS4.
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Dec 8, 2015 18:47
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Fractured Butt Whole. Catchy title.
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Dec 8, 2015 21:08
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Roro posted:gently caress, with this and the Ni No Kuni sequel, I may actually have to spring for a PS4. What, it's not going to be on PC? I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
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Dec 8, 2015 21:40
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Seeing them change to a different game with different costumes makes me wonder if there is the possibility for another game where they are ninjas.
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Dec 9, 2015 03:03
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Mraagvpeine posted:Seeing them change to a different game with different costumes makes me wonder if there is the possibility for another game where they are ninjas. They're kids they have plenty of games.
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Dec 9, 2015 03:20
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Stephen9001 posted:What, it's not going to be on PC? WAIT WHAT NO D: Edit: Okay, no, nevermind, I just went into the webpage and it's gonna be on PS4, XBONE and PC.
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Dec 9, 2015 19:17
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Siegkrow posted:WAIT WHAT NO D: Yeah, that that was just my response to some guy saying "I may have to spring for a PS4", I was essentially thinking "you don't need a PS4 if you can get it on PC". I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
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Dec 9, 2015 19:53
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Hello everyone. Last time we beat the game.  Go us.Once the credits finish rolling, you wake up in your room like nothing happened and you can continue playing indefinitely. The only difference is that the only enemies left in the game are the wolves in the woods, and whatever's in Canada. No more nazi zombies, and no more elves. Initially I thought that I could get all the stuff I missed done in one single update. That is no longer the case. There will be one more update after this, solely for all the dialogue I missed. This update is going to cover everything else. This update is also the single longest one in the LP yet, with almost 160 images. For the sake of reference, the previous holder of this record was the update where we were introduced to and fought Jimmy. Anyway, the first stop of the day is Eric Cartman's house.   Up in his room we can find his doll, Polly Prissypants. If we have Cartman with us, she'll actually "talk" to us.  : Hello, Douchebag. We must have tea sometime to celebrate Eric, our mutual hero.: I just heard the most scandalous rumor about the Jew-elf king.She then adds us as a Facebook friend. I'm serious.  : That Eric Cartman is truly the perfect gentleman. 120 friends means we've got everybody! Anyway, something that folks have been asking about for a long time is for me to cover how all the classes play. I've pretty adequately demonstrated how mage plays, and in a dream sequence I showed how the Jew plays. So are you guys ready to finally see the Thief and Warrior in action?  Meet Douchebag the Thief. He's a ginger, though Cartman doesn't seem to care.   The most basic thief ability is just a simple backstab. It always targets the last person in the row.  The basic idea is you hit A each time the dagger flashes. Despite seeing only two flashes, there is in fact a third flash. I somehow managed to hit the flash on the same frame that it appeared.   Of course the thief is going to have the ability to steal from others.  Though no enemies have anything worth stealing. You only ever get vendor trash.   Execute is extremely powerful. Douchebag leaps into the air and throws five or six knives at the enemy, and then... well, look at the gif.  loving ow.   Stink bombs isn't my favorite skill. It inflicts gross out and strips away helpful buffs from the enemy. In almost every case it's simply easier to outright kill them.     Finally we have the thief ultimate ability "Death of a Thousand Cuts." It's really long, so there's no gif. So enjoy the screenshots instead. Each time a thief appears, just press the stick toward the target.    Thief looks super badass, and is probably my second favorite class after mage.     Finally for the last step all five ninjas attack at once.  Yeah. This wolf didn't survive the assault. For what it's worth, you press down here because Douchebag is who you're directing.  Next on our list is warrior. This is Douchebag the warrior. He went to Tom's Rhinoplasty and got a face lift.  He's also a Dire AIDS patient.   The first warrior ability is Assault and Battery.  Most of the warrior abilities have sports themes.   Roshambo is probably the hardest ability in the game to get the timing for. It's incredibly unforgiving, and you have to hit it three times with just your eyes to go by.  Each time his fist hits his palm you have to hit A. On the other hand... ROCK, PAPER, NUTS!   The "remove buffs" skills aren't typically useful. I don't like using them on any of the classes, though this one is arguably the most useful variant because it also pisses off the enemy.  Somehow this gif was over 4MB before I shrank the actual dimensions.   Bull Rush is a fun ability.  Warrior douchebag has a pretty bright future as a linebacker.   Ground Stomp is an incredibly powerful ultimate ability. It's up there with Pyre Ball.  Looks like it hurt, yeah? Anyway, that was the quick and dirty primer on the other classes. Thief specializes in statues - particularly bleeds, while warrior has a shitload of armor and a lot of his abilities inflict pissed off. Both classes hit like runaway freight trains. Coming up next is a very long showcase of every set of armor and all the weapons in the game.  The alien set is one of the ones you can permanently miss. You find all the pieces on the alien spaceship during the events of the first night.  Ah the barbarian armor. It barely got any time to shine before we got an upgrade.  I briefly gave a lot of love to this set of armor. You get a lot of HP and you recover a lot of HP wearing it. Perfect if you want to glide along on easy mode.  We found the Bling armor in the police evidence locker. As far as I'm aware this is the only time in history that someone has worn it.    Clyde's helmet, buyable from the KKK vendor.  Ew. Just... ew.  In the warrior douchebag shots up above, this is the armor he was wearing, just colored black. It has, as far as I'm aware, the highest armor value in the game.  110 armor is quite a lot for a single head item.  Remember this armor? We wore it for all of 10 minutes.  If nothing else the Du-Rag makes douchebag look kinda tough-ish. You know, for a 9 year old.  This has to be my favorite set of armor visually.  The gently caress you say? Still repping the row in the friar's set.  I'm kind of surprised that there weren't more armors like this one, armors that helped you bypass an obstacle or environmental hazard.  The underpants gnomes have a pretty snappy sense of fashion.  Another of the required armor sets. If I remember right, it was just this set, the gas mask, and the scrubs right?  Like the bling armor, I'm pretty sure this is the first time anyone has ever worn this.  The KKK set has a lot of armor for the early part of the game.  This is probably Douchebag's iconic look. It's the armor he spent the most time wearing, after all.  The knight set looks pretty badass, not gonna lie.  Oh my. I guess if you're going for a gross out build, this is the armor to use.  The mage set we beat the game with. I should note that each time we earned a promotion, this armor was upgraded.  This armor is designed to give you buffs when your buddy is down. Meh.  The girls did a pretty good job making Douchebag look feminine.  If nothing else, this does look like something a monk would wear in a kung-fu movie.  We found this set in the school during the second day. It would actually make a pretty decent set of armor for the final battles, given the bonus damage against zombies.  This is the SWAT set, and it's also permanently missable. It can be found at the "Taco Bell" construction site.  Whether you spell it "pajamas" or "pyjamas," it's still what Douchebag wears at night.  I love the tin pie plate on the chest.   The description on the right has the, well, right of it. "A cry for help," indeed. It's called the "Stupid Spoiled Whore" set.  I would say this set is permanently missable, but you need it to progress through the main story.   "You found it moist and it's still moist." Ew.  This is a permanently missable drop. You find it on the alien spaceship as a drop from the very first nazi zombie in the game.  Look, if you want to wear underpants on your head, fine. But at least make sure they're clean. Skidmarks on your hair sounds loving gross.  It's a powerful set of armor, but I'm pretty sure just wearing it puts me on a watchlist.  This is the "training gloves." If I didn't know better I'd swear this, the headband, and the wife beater were all part of the same outfit. Though they're separate on the equipment collection screen.  The witch armor can be found in places you can only access while shrunk. It buffs fire damage pretty nicely.  This is the aforementioned wife beater armor. Such an unfortunate name for a white sleeveless tanktop.  It's Link, but in South Park!  This armor is pretty nice mid-tier stuff. Though you get access to it at the same time you get the Khan set. Just a quick break before we delve into weapons. That was every set of armor in the game!  An early game weapon, and not a very good one at that.  I'm pretty sure this is the wand I was gushing over in Vancouver.  It's a stop sign and it inflicts slow on perfect attack.  We used this axe through a lot of the endgame. It's really good.  Early on I was lamenting the lack of equippable billy clubs. I guess I had forgotten about this.  For what it's worth, Butters' hammer and Stan's greatsword both occupy the same item slot.  Of course a Canadian halberd would be a hockey stick.  We used this sword for a while. It's really good.  This club is deceptively strong for an early-game weapon. It'll kick a lot of rear end on day 1.  This crutch is permanently missable. You can only get it in Jimmy's bedroom.  This mace doesn't seem very useful.  Equip with the Wood Elf armor to really become Link.  This is arguably the strongest sword in the game. It completely ignores enemy armor.  We used this to kick Jimmy's rear end. It's a drat good first day weapon.  The KKK vendor sells its. It's alright, though there are much better options by the time you can equip it.  Despite all the mage armor being upgraded, we got new weapons each time. Next time you have one of these lighters, try swinging it like a sword and see how it works out. (Don't actually do this.)  A thief weapon. Not much to say about it.  I had a lot to say about this during the actual story. I still feel the same way: it's not a very good weapon. 20 armor penetration isn't very much, especially during the second night.  This weapon is oddly weak for a day 2 offering. The 100 bonus kosher damage doesn't really make up for it.  At first I was kind of down on this knife, but it doesn't seem too bad. Bonus kosher damage, five hits, and relatively decent one handed damage make it a pretty potent zombie destroying tool in the hands of either a Jew or a Thief.  The ice wand is an actual icicle. That's adorable.  It's the starting weapon for Jews. What more can I say?  We put this to pretty good use in the first visit to the school.  I just don't find a lot of use for weapons that destroy a bunch of shields at once. That's what bows are for!  It's a flamberge rapier that broke off.  We really put this through its paces in the early parts of the game. It's a drat good weapon for early game.  5% HP restoration isn't a lot at low levels, but that's 360 HP at Douchebag's current HP. I also suspect this stacks with the Bishop set. You wouldn't deal a lot of damage, but you sure as gently caress would regenerate a lot per turn.  We really came a long way from this little stick didn't we?  We really made good use of this as well. It's deceptively strong!  Even on my thief run I never really used these daggers/knives.  No bonuses, but it does hit pretty hard for a very early game weapon.  Putting bleed on a weapon doesn't work how it ought. The entire combo only generates a single stack of bleed, instead of a stack per hit like bows give.  Jew Douchebag showed how powerful this boob staff was.  I used this on my first run of the game. It wasn't very good.  The thief starting weapon.  I don't believe we ever used this axe. We got it at the tail end of Canada, and only got into one fight between getting it, and getting access to the armory of the girls. Presumably it's pretty drat strong.  Gonna be honest here, I don't really know where we picked this up, but it doesn't look very good for being a level 10 weapon.  I can't really decide what this weapon model is. Any ideas?  I don't really know where we got the Staff of Winter, either.  The Star Wand is one of those dickisly hidden items. You have to ignore the desire to fight Cartman or Kyle and instead loot the room.  The Stone Hammer is hidden on the roof of the "Taco Bell" construction site.  I guess an iron pipe would make a pretty good club, yeah.  This katana is, going by pure numbers, the strongest weapon in the game. But that's all it has going for it. You can find better weapons elsewhere.  Attack up when you kill something is a pretty nice ability.  After using this weapon, be sure to wash your hands with muriatic acid. It's the only way to get the gross off.  A pretty good wand if you want to start the "infinite PP when using fire" pain train early.  The starting weapon for warriors.  The warrior's longsword is an incredibly powerful weapon, one that we put to really good use.  This is the staff we got for being named King Douchebag. It's really good. Another quick break before we dive back in for the ranged weapons. We're most of the way done! The general advice for all of these is "slap a bleed sticker on it and win."  This ray gun is simply not a good weapon. All it has going for it is row penetration, but it has such low damage.  We put these bar darts to good use early on.  I've never used the basketball, but the general series of weapons are pretty good.  I don't think Batman has purple batarangs.  Gotta start off somewhere, right?  I remember using this for a while. It's really good.  Probably the single best weapon to use on the Craig fight. Well, I assume so at least. No idea if it respects his AOE immunity.  This has a lot of raw damage, and penetrates through the row. It's not very good because it only fires once.  Pretty good to use for the half hour before you get hold of the Chakram from the girls.  Have you ever been hit square in the face with a dodgeball? It really loving hurts.       Every bow-class weapon is incredibly good. They'll never steer you wrong.  Bottles of water that have previously been frozen leave an ice plug once they've melted enough. It makes the water nice and cold but drat if it isn't hard to drink.  I think I've adequately proven why this is a great weapon.  A snowball!  Ah, the Mongorian Bow. It was the start of the pain train for this LP.  Again, loving ew. It's never cool to fling used tampons at someone.  Look at how much this sucker bounces. 9 hits? You can have a lot of fun with this one.  Like the other row penetration ranged weapons, it's just not very good. That, folks, was every weapon and armor in the game! Here's some pretty pictures.  120 Facebook friends.  30 Chinpokomon.  103 pieces of equipment. That makes 100% of this game. All that's left is optional dialogue, which I'll try to have out sometime this weekend.
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Dec 10, 2015 23:56
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DoubleNegative posted:
It's a cesta, the "racquet" used in Jai alai Good LP Double Negative, it was a blast!
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Dec 11, 2015 01:06
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That's a Wiffle Ball catcher. You snag them out of the air, then you can swing it to throw it right back. My Elementary School had dozens of them, and they're pretty fun for the age group.
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Dec 11, 2015 01:07
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The Grenade of Slowing is a loving dry ice bomb.
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Dec 11, 2015 02:03
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Great equipment list, DoubleNegative! I respect all the screenshots. I have to say, though- you missed a few things. They're all class specific, so you can't get them unless you're playing each class. I will try and describe the equipment, though I'm sorry I don't have immediate access to the game and my memory is fuzzy. Finding screenshots was also harder than I'd hoped. You can get all the classes' starting weapons from the KKK shop no matter which you are, Scott just has to be running it to unlock them all. The upgraded weapons and the outfits are only available to each class specifically, though. Here's what the starting outfits look like-  Your weapons and armor upgrade when you are given a new title- "Sir", "Commander", and "King". The outfit changes accordingly, with class dependent benefits. Warriors gain more armor and damage potential, Mages get PP gain abilities, Thieves stat infliction (Bleeding mostly), and Jews have the ability to deal more damage as they lose HP and gain status ailments. As for looks, your Sir outfit pretty much looks the same as your starting outfit, just a little flashier. Commander and King can be very different though. Thief always has the same cloak and dagger look, but they get more blingy as they upgrade. The King Thief outfit is very Asassin-esque. Weapons are various daggers for melee. You also gain new ranged weapons upon title increase- unique among the classes. These include Throwing Knives for Commander Thief and King Thief has loving Ninja Stars.   Mage always has the rings and robes, while your headband becomes a wizard hat with more stars and moons as you upgrade. The weapon is always a wand, only with King Mage do we get an actual wizard staff (I loved the description for it btw  ).Warriors have gauntlets and armor, headbands becoming crowns as you upgrade. King Warrior has a crown that resembles Aragorn's. Weapons can be axes or swords, if I remember right, and they are all pretty badass.    The Jew equipment is my favorite. You start out with a prayer shawl for armor, a yarmulke for headgear, and rings "that show you're a real mensch". Weapons are a shepherd's crook to start, then various daggers and staves. The rings only change in stats, while the hat and armor also get cooler looks as your titles increase. Commander Jews look like full-on Hasidic Rabbis with the black hat and sidelocks. King Jew equipment includes a Crown of Thorns and a blood-stained robe- this being South Park, you can probably guess which King of the Jews they're referencing.  I'm disappointed I couldn't find a screenshot of the Jew King. The weapon you find in the classroom where you fight Kyle or Cartman is also dependent on your class. Mage gets the Star Wand, Warrior gets a Laser Sword (actually just a fake plastic lightsaber, but ya know), and I forget what the other classes get. If I get this game again (I got bored and sold my copy, later regretted it), I'll take notes as I play through. You can also get different looks for your Girl Disguise, depending on the options you picked during the Makeover! event. I appreciated being able to get a different outfit each time I went through. All the armors and weapons look cool, even if some have better stats than others. Add in all the different wigs, makeup, dyes, and other flair items and you're pretty much guaranteed nobody's characters look the same. They really went all out with the character design options for this game. There are also some DLC costumes, of course. Superhero, Samurai, and Spaceman, among others. I found a screenshot-  I am looking very forward to seeing what the sequel does with character looks. Also eagerly awaiting DN's missed dialogue post.
achtungnight fucked around with this message at 11:51 on Dec 11, 2015 |
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Dec 11, 2015 07:59
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 09:37 |
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^^^ Could you please use timg tags for those huge pics? I have to scroll horizontally to read your text. Anyway, the Wizard's staff reminds me of this song..
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Dec 11, 2015 11:49
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