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Heh, figures. Points for being consistently inconsistent I guess.
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Jul 25, 2015 09:13
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This seems like a fun RPG. Definitely one worth watching in an LP, but I can't see myself buying it. The jokes range from legitimately funny to just groan worthy awfulness.
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Jul 26, 2015 18:14
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All you really need for a map is a street map of scenic Fairplay, Colorado.
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Jul 26, 2015 18:22
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TravelLog posted:Manbearpig. That RNG could reeaaaally get you there. gently caress that fight. Seriously. I forget which run it was, but one time it took me something like three tries to beat him, and not because I wasn't strong enough. Just had bad moves used on me and it killed me faster than I could heal. There are times my need to complete everything bites me in the rear end...
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Jul 26, 2015 18:35
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Finished this a month ago, enjoyed it but a few tweaks would improve it a lot. Which they even acknowledge in the new trailer for the next game. Not sure about other systems but I had this on the PS3 and the load times were really bad. I never ever saw that camp and never got those homeless guys! Gutted...
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Jul 26, 2015 20:23
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I like that Butters heals you by patting you on the back and offering a few words of encouragement 
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Jul 27, 2015 05:53
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This game looks fun ill probably get it this winter... also this game made me feel weird I didn't realize South park was on season 19 now and Imagination-land is now seven years old. I guess that helps establish how timeless Southpark can be when it isn't making a "show of the current events" or "poop jokes".
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Jul 27, 2015 08:10
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C-Euro posted:I like that Butters heals you by patting you on the back and offering a few words of encouragement I think it's also the only thing in the game that can make the main character smile.
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Jul 27, 2015 17:44
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 THIS UPDATE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NOT WORK SAFE Hello again everybody! Let's continue exploring the town and making friends.  Occasionally as you spawn onto a screen, enemies will try and ambush you. Typically you won't have a lot of time to react.  This does make a perfect opportunity to show off another of Butters' abilities. This is Hammer of Justice.  Pissed Off is a pretty great debuff to inflict. Anybody afflicted by it can no longer use abilities, and can only target the person who inflicted it. Anyway, when you're walking around, you'll just randomly see elves out and about as random encounters, like the one we just fought. They have a lot of dialogue if they see you.  : (standing around) Well, well.: (standing around) Dead human walking!: (standing around) Goddamn, humans are ugly.: (standing around) Hey New Kid! Suck my balls!: (standing around) You better keep walking.: (standing around) Long way from home, human.: (standing around) Something stinks like human.: (standing around) Where's your leash, human dog?: (standing around) Let's go, bitch! You and me.: (standing around) Come on, give me a reason.: (standing around) You looking for a fight?: (standing around) What's the matter? Lost your Stick?: (standing around) I got a beating with your name on it.As well as when they become aggressive and try to initiate combat. : (beginning fight) Elves attack!: (initiating fight) Die, rear end in a top hat!: (initiating fight) The Stick is ours!: (initiating fight) gently caress you, rear end in a top hat!: (initiating fight) You're a douche!: (initiating fight) What are you lookin' at, pussy?: (initiating fight) This elf is gonna gently caress you up!: (initiating fight) Oh you want some of this?: (beginning fight) You're dead.: (beginning fight) You scared?: (beginning fight) Let's do this!: (beginning fight) Prepare to eat poo poo!: (beginning fight) I'm gonna beat the poo poo out of you!: (beginning fight) I'm gonna beat you like your daddy does.: (beginning fight) Oh, it's on!There's even a lot of things elves will say in the midst of combat. : (WRATH OF THE ELVES) Eat poo poo!: (WRATH OF THE ELVES) I'm gonna mess you up, dude.: (RIPOSTING) Suck my balls!: (RIPOSTING) You're going down.: (attacking) Suck on this!: (attacking) gently caress you, rear end in a top hat!!: (attacking) rear end in a top hat!: (if hit while shielded) Nope!: (if hit while shielded) Oh, shut down!: (if hit while shielded) Nice try, rear end in a top hat.: (when hit) Ow!: (when hit) Hey!: (when hit) Ow, jeez!: (when hit) Quit it!: (when hit) Stop it!: (when hit) Oh, it's on!: (when hit) Aw! Motherfucker.: (when hit) That didn't count!: (when hit) You'll pay for that!: (being healed with NATURE'S BOUNTY) Awesome!: (being healed with NATURE'S BOUNTY) Oh hell yeah!: (if you die) New Kid got pwned!: (if you die) Oh yeah, you like that?That's enough optional dialogue for now. There'll be more later.   To tell the honest truth, I captured half of the screenshots in this update a week apart from the first half. So the first part will have a lot of loot shots of awful cosmetic items, while the second half I decided nobody actually wanted to read variations on "ugh another lovely cosmetic item" and cut that poo poo out. I also feel I should give proper warning. This updated is NWS as all gently caress. Don't read this at work. I'm serious. This is your proper warning. The next image is .  Let's talk to this girl instead.  : I'm actually faster at Facebook messaging than I am at speaking. Here, this'll just go a lot faster if I friend you.: ... : There. This is way easier than talking! Anyway, I feel like you and I have a real connection.You see that garage there on the brown house? There's a thing in it that you can shoot to make a ladder drop. When I was playing I honestly didn't see it. There is a Facebook friend up there. I'm going to include his dialogue here, and I'll just grab him offscreen.  : Are you new? Hey, that means you don't know anything about me, huh?: Don't, uh ... don't believe everything you read on Facebook, okay? Anyway, Craig lives here, and he's one of the warriors we need to recruit. Let's see if he's home.   : Ya lookin' for Craig? Well, he can't play. He's in detention. Something about flippin' off the principal. : We better get to the other guys first! This is the house of Kevin Stoley. He's big into sci-fi. That's two transformers in his garage.  As for Kevin, I'm sure you can guess his obsession.  All these underpants are for a quest we get much later in the game.  The weird furry thing on his dresser quivers if you shoot it.  Let's talk to Kevin and see what he's got to say.   : Greetings, human. While I would prefer to explore strange worlds with you, it is illogical to abandon the bridge until the captain returns. ...The captain is my mom. I-I can't go outside when she's not home. But the Federation has an urgent mission for you. A tricorder was left behind on the frozen planet of Hoth. Only it's not a tricorder i-it's my dad's iPad 2. I need you to beam down to Omicron Sector and locate that device before it falls into Klingon hands. I think it fell out of my backpack near the church.: The Federation is counting on you to find that tricorder!I'm pretty sure an iPad would stop working correctly if it were dropped on the ground, or in snow. Spoilers, we find it on the ground in a snowbank.  Back outside now. If we destroy this grill, it falls over and catches fire. Pity we can't spread the fire, because that treasure chest looks tempting. Oh well, let's see who lives in House 9770.    This is the Community Center. There will be more to do here later on in the story. Yes, that is a Chinpokomon in the fence back there, and no we can't reach it yet.  Another screen to the left is the school. This is actually the first dungeon of the game, but we can't go in until we find the three warriors. If you look in the background, you can make out the fence leading to the loading dock has a golden handle. Let's go investigate.  These are the goth kids. Remember that they're here. From the left, we have Pete, Firkle, Henrietta, and Michael. We can't do much with them just yet.  : There's this cool old dude who sells clothes on the other side of town.: You're not goth! Where are your cigarettes?! gently caress off!: Enjoy your popularity and one point nine children and your 401k, conformist.: Find your own pit of despair. God! : I see only death and decay. You are a rotting corpse to me.: We are all dying from the moment we are born. : Oh please. What goth kid walks around in THOSE clothes? : If you're looking for smokes, the sixth graders are always hanging up near Jimbo's Guns.: You think that's all it means to be goth?! You don't even have coffee!: We don't hang with conformists, go get the stuff to look like we do.: Go conform somewhere else, kid.Some of that is quest related dialogue for later in the game, but meh. Firkle is kinda cute at least. He's the tiny kindergartner goth kid in the background. Something about his widdle vowice spouting lovely poetry is adorable.  Anyway, just past the school we find the edge of the map. All these signs are warning us about the forest. We can't get in yet because of a partially visible mass of rats, but the forest is a really dangerous place to be. The enemies inside are really strong, so we'll be avoiding it as much as possible.  The town of South Park, for the purposes of this game, is laid out in three distinct rows. Most of the houses are on the bottom row. We're now on the second row where the majority of the businesses can be found. We'll cover the top row next time, but it has still more businesses.  The generic sunglasses are one of the few cosmetic items in the game I genuinely like.  It's hard to make a nine year old look badass, though.  Over to the right we find a split path.  If you break the pile of wood and follow the path back, we find this little hiding spot.  Some girl stashed her backpack back here, and we just looted it. Remember this is back here, because a quest we run into later on will have an objective in this little hiding spot.  Kevin mentioned that he dropped his dad's iPad near the church, so let's go find it.  The shot is super small to show you the iPad, but this is to the right of the church, behind the lone tree closest to the fence.  Past the church is the police station. We can bust open the first car's trunk, but all that's inside is a strength potion I doubt I'll ever use. Inside the station we can find a bunch of South Park's finest.  Over behind the redheaded sergeant, we can find some neat loot.  I swear that Breathalyzer looks like a car battery with a tube attached to the negative terminal.  : Nothing ever happens in this one horse town. Except for hippie infestations ... cat piss huffing... guinea pig attacks...: ... robot dinosaur attacks, huge bouncy testicle fads, New Jersey invasions, towel technology wars, pee tsunamis...: ... accidental toilet deaths, crack baby basketball leagues, rifts to the realm of the ancient ones, jizz drinking scams ...: We've been getting reports of a bunny rabbit running around people's yards. I'm gonna check it out.: I like a kid who lets his actions speak for him.: Not now, kid. I'm on a case.: I don't even like donuts, that's the sad truth.: Best thing about being a cop is that people have to respect your authority. Left of the lobby we can find the lockup. : Come on a quieter day, I'll take you on a ride-along. I'll be way more careful than I was with the last kid. : You don't talk, huh? Me neither. That's why they won't let me out. : Hey, kid. Find the key and bust me out of here. Upstairs in the station we find more stuff to poke at.  Like the evidence locker, which is to the right.  If I'm not mistaken this is #5, which puts us at 16%  Okay, this loot has a lot of stuff in it. Bling is our first piece of armor, while Buckyball Magnets are our first armor accessory. So...   Bling increases money gained by 5%. I'll never use it. I don't show them off here but the Buckyball Magnets, if we could equip them, also increase money gained. I also take this opportunity to customize our armor some.  Much better!  Left of the staircase we can find some callbacks.  The police aren't looking very hard if they can't find Damien. He's not exactly hiding very well. We'll find him later.  The equipment lockup is, well, locked. So we have to sneak in. If we shoot the right side of the trophy shelf, it falls over.   I'm honestly kind of disappointed we can't loot some gear from in here. A nightstick or riot shield would be kind of neat to run around with.   The jail cell key unlocks Romper Stomper's cell. I completely forget to do this until later. Whoops!  It's also time for a change away from that beard.  Pressing A here will unlock a shortcut. We can't do anything with that weird device up on top of the station yet. But the shortcut affords us easy access back when we can!  Now time to show off weapon stickers.  You can apply and remove them at will, allowing you to customize your weapons to your liking. I'll show off how you can really snap the game in half with this in the next update. For now, an extra five damage on a melee attack is pretty nice.  Better weapons and armor have more slots for stickers and accessories. Anyway, on with the game.   : Oh what sad times these are when the nation's youth run around in dungeon clothes playing the games of Satan. Young man, if you really want power there is only one thing you must do. Find Jesus. Find him, and when you do, return to me.: Find Christ, my son, and you shall be greatly rewarded.: The Lord shall make Himself known when He chooses to reveal Himself. But He will only reveal Himself to those who wish to find him.: Sometimes the Lord can be found in the most surprising places. Keep looking, my son.Well, the most logical place to start looking for Jesus is at the church. Let's start there.   : (Tee hee hee hee)  : You found me! Tee hee hee! Next time finding me won't be so easy!  Let's go talk to Priest Maxi and see what he has to say about literally finding Jesus.  : Do not despair, for many find Jesus only to lose Him later. But the soul that does not abandon its search will surely be rewarded with His company. Remember that.Okay, let's try again. Back to the church!  : (Tee hee hee hee!)It's not immediately obvious what you have to do here, but you can interact with the spotlights.  You can also hit the overhead lights. If you look really closely, you can just barely make out a golden highlight on the light switch.   : Well done, my son! I hope you didn't peek! Remember, I will always be at the side of those who have found me. You can call me once per day with this. But I can't help against bosses. They're scary. Come find me again for another. The combat in this game is incredibly easy, so you almost never need to use summons. The fights where you would want to, they're unable to be used. Oh, and Priest Maxi and Jesus both add us on Facebook after we unlock the summon. In case we come back to Jesus after using his summon, but before a day has passed, he has some dialogue for us. : Sorry, I can only help you once per day. It's not like I can be everywhere at once.: Guys, your heart is the first place everybody looks. I'm not going to hide there. Give me some credit, okay? We can poke around in the priest's office.    He has a tiny little mitre. : Now that you have found Jesus, He will always be with you.: I'm glad that you found Christ, my son. Be ye ever vigilant, for He may be found in the unlikeliest of places in times of need. I found Him in my chimney once.Jesus likes this. So over past the priest, we can see some bullies harassing a little girl. You can also click the video to see the cutscene and accompanying fight. Highly recommended, if only to see just how fast paced the action is. Video:   : Give it back! Give it back! : Why don't you make us?: That's MY Justin Bieber toy! : Not anymore, it's not! : Aw, did baby lose her toy?: Come on, you guys!: You gonna cry?: It isn't yours!: What are you gonna do about it?: She's got nothing.: Maybe I'll just break it in two.: No, don't!: Do it. Let's see its insides.gently caress bullies. Let's intervene!  : Who is THIS? : Beat it, kid, if you know what's good for you. Despite being awful bullies, these are still little girls. As such they are barely more difficult than a random encounter. Can't Touch Us is their only ability of note, and it just adds four armor. Wow.  If you somehow gently caress up badly enough to get a game over here, these girls have special dialogue for you. : What a little pussy. You have to be really bad at this game to lose to this fight, so you will almost never see that dialogue.  : You LIKE beating up on GIRLS?? : Oh, I hope they didn't break it. (she pulls the cord) Oh, whew. Hey thanks ... I owe you one kidThe first time I played this, I thought there would be consequences for beating up on a group of girls. There are none. We actually get rewarded by Annie adding us on Facebook! : That was so amazing, what you did for me. I won't forget it. There's a Chinpokomon in a tree here. There's also a couple backpacks over on a pathway behind Priest Maxi. Neither has anything worth mentioning.  Let's go bug Mayor McDaniels in city hall.   : I want you to know that I'm very sorry about Butters. Just in general.  : Hey, kid, maybe you can help us with something. All these homeless people in South Park are making us look like a cold and heartless town. If you could go and beat the crap out of all the bums and vagrants, they'll leave town and it'll restore South Park's reputation as a compassionate community. Ya gotta get every single one of those bastards, okay? Chop chop!: We still have hobos, Kid. Come back when you have solved our little "problem."We can't finish this quest today. If I remember right, there's 7 camps we need to bust up. On the first day we can clear, I believe, 3. Maybe 4.  Let's keep moving on.  I feel kinda out of place doing this LP, because I don't recognize so many of these callbacks. I'm not a superfan by any stretch of the imagination. But it's a testament to how well made the game is that it's enjoyable despite not understanding the references. Anyway, Butters also has a lot of things to say while you're walking around town. : Sure is a lot of walkin'.: We must get back to the quest at hand, my lord!: To get the Stick of Truth we must recruit the warriors three!: (standing around) You want my number? Oh, okay.: (standing around) Yeah, after people hang out with me for a while they usually end up texting or just looking at their phones.: (standing around) Well you don't have to tweet me, I'm right here.: (standing around) If you're texting your friends about this game, tell them it's good.: (standing around) Is Douchebag your real name?Expect to hear the first three pretty often.  The first door is locked, so let's go in the post office instead.  : GET ON THE GROUND AND SHUT UP OR YOUR BRAINS ARE GOING ON THE loving WALL- Hey Vince, how's it going? Just showing the New Kid around today.: Hey Butters! Sweet kid. : I'd love to chat, but you're unpopular.Like several of the other girls in the town, Lola won't be friends with us until we're more popular. So we'll have to be back later. But before we leave...  One of the mailboxes over on the right is unlocked.  There's also some stuff behind the counter.  Oh hey, it's Stevie Nicks. What's she doing crammed in a treasure chest?  We should deliver this to Mr. Slave. We'll be by his house in a few minutes.  I'd comment on how dirty the quest name sounds, but knowing this game I'm pretty sure it's intentional. Anyway, let's go unlock the news office and poke around in there.   We can't interact with the broken heat register. Not yet at any rate. We can, however, talk to Esther.  : They're gonna interview me for a piece on youth narcissism. I can't wait to read about me!: Maybe they'll put a picture of me in the article too!We're also now Facebook friends with Esther. Until later, that's all we can do in here. The guy at the desk just has generic townie dialogue. I'll... cover that later. There's a metric fuckton and a lot of it is dependent on what day you're on. So it's just easier to post all of it then.  Now that we're friends with Esther, we also get our second perk.  Hopefully we won't be needing to use too many revive potions, but being able to revive someone at full health will be invaluable all the same.  Mrs. Biggle is an easy-to-miss Facebook friend. It's really easy to mistake her for a random townie. On the upside, she doesn't move from that spot until you talk to her, so it's not like you can miss becoming friends with her.  : You must be in our little Bradley's class. I know everyone thinks their child is special, but I REALLY think he is.: Have you met my daughter Henrietta? She thinks she's a vampire, but I'm sure it's just a phase. This screen of the town has Tom's Rhinoplasty and the bank. : Well hey Officer Buttbaby! : That's Buttbrady! Wait...: I'll be watching you, New Kid. On Facebook! I hope you post a lot of cat pictures.: Hey, New Kid!: Have you seen my hat?: You're pretty small for a grown man.: Report any suspicious activity to the police. That's what I do.: Okay people, nothing to see here. There's a much better view down that way.: DeeR Dairy, 2day I maid frenz w/ a new kidd. He waz reelee niCe. I hope he likez me 2. Officer Barbrady IS pretty nice. Let's check out the nose job joint because the big tower is locked. Oh my. That's a lot of pictures of the Hoff.  Over on the far side of the clinic, we can raid a drawer and find a key. I didn't realize this while recording, but the key unlocks the big tower next door. Just another thing to add to my list of poo poo I need to do the next time I record. For the record, the script I'm using has this to say about the business office: quote:BUSINESS OFFICE So presumably there's some cosmetics inside, or a random reference.  Back to Tom's Rhinoplasty. Let's talk to Mrs. Marsh.  : Oh hello, are you interested in some rhinoplasty? Here's a brochure with all of Dr. Tom's rates.: Back again, I see. Let me show you our brochure.: (after you buy something) I'll add you to our email list. Sometimes we do two-for-one specials.: (when you buy a procedure) Oh, yes, that would look great on you! Alright, go on through. Door to your right!: Oh go on through the door to the right. Doctor Tom will get you all fixed up. There's special dialogue if you spend $175 to buy "The Hasselhoff." I'll be showing that off much, much later. You know, when I actually have that kind of money to burn. If you buy an accessory, Mrs. Marsh adds you on facebook. What the game calls accessories, I call cosmetics. There are dozens upon dozens for sale, and each costs $2.00. Coming through to clean this shop's inventory out will set you back between $50-$100.  Moving on, the bank is next to Tom's Rhinoplasty.  : Okay this is a stickup!! Put all the money in a bag or I'll loving kill each and every one of y- oh hey Laura, hey Benny how's it going? Just showing the New Kid around ... : Hi Butters! : Good to see you too, Butters, thanks for checking in. : Welcome to the Bank of South Park. Would you like to invest money with us today?: (if no/ you don't have 20 dollars) Sorry, kid. Come back when you have some money to invest.: (if you invest 20 dollars) Wise move, young man, and a bold first step toward your financial future. We'll just take that money and employ significant leverage using computer-assisted high frequency trading and index fund rebalancing to buy ahead of certain stock movements AND it's gone!: (if you invest 20 dollars) A smart choice, kid. First thing we'll do is take that money and invest in a Colorado tax-free municipal bond fund and then give the dividend to my buddy at Goldman Sachs who'll give it to his buddy at JP Morgan who has a LIBOR-adjusted cross-currency obligation AND it's gone!: (if you invest 20 dollars) You're obviously an experienced and sophisticated investor so let's just take that money and put it into a secure and qualified account and it's gone!This isn't a scam, we can get this money back at a later date. But $60 invested is the point where the reward stops growing. Oh and for the sake of reference...  Let's just move on.  This screen will be incredibly important later on in the game. : Generally wanna stay outta there if you're a fetus, yeah.  : Hi, did you accidentally get someone pregnant?I'm using the generic woman townie face here. It's the woman named "Admin" behind the counter talking. Outside, we can see a girl hiding behind the abortion clinic. Let's go talk to her.  : Let's just keep this between us, okay? Because we're such good friends!: Hey, how was your weekend? That's SO great! Kay, later!Indeed. Well, we're friends with Millie now. The last thing of interest on this screen is the photo dojo.   : Hey, you're a pretty good looking kid. You ever think about modeling?The door to the back room is locked until much later in the game. We'll be back then.  There's not very much on this screen, but it does signify that we're next to the playground.  Speaking of which, here we are. There's a few generic kids hanging out, but we're more interested in the far side of the basketball court.  See that little kid peeking out from behind the pole? He has a quest for us.   : Come play hide and seek with us. You're it!Those six kindergartners are now spread all throughout the town. We'll happen across all of them in the course of finishing up everything. We've actually already passed several of their hiding spots.  Finally, at the far end of the playground, we find the domain of Maplebeard the Pirate King. : Avast there, matey! None shall pass! : I am a pirate king!We can leave off the bottom of the screen here to put us one screen to the right of Kupa Keep. Instead, we're going to continue our journey to the right.   We've already found the first little kid! This is Sally.   : Billy tried to steal my hidey spot, but I made him go away. I wonder whose house this is. It could only be one of two people in the town.  This next dialogue you only get if you come here before picking the package up at the post office. I've never seen it because I always take this route through the town.  : Hey kid, can you help me? There was a mix-up at the post office and they accidentally gave me a package for Ms. Cartman. Any chance you can go to the post office and pick up mine while I drop this one by her house?: I guess Ms. Cartman and I like to shop at the same places.After we deliver the package to him... : Thanks, Kid! My night is looking a whole lot better now. Here, if you ever need my help, use this! I can't help with any really tough fights, though. I don't want to get a fissure. Come back and find me if you want to call me again. But give it a day. I go to a lot of parties. Mr. Slave gives us another summon item to use. I'm pretty sure there are four summon items, and we can get three of them basically immediately from the start of the game. If we use the summon item and come back to talk to Mr. Slave, he has this to say. : Come back tomorrow, sweetie. I'm all booked up today. This is one fancy as hell bedroom. There's nothing worthwhile in here though. If you squint, you can make out a duffel bag behind the changing screen. All that's in there is a torn condom and some pocket change. Back outside, let's go to the house next door.   What the gently caress is wrong with this town?  The horsefucker is so busy with his hobby that he can't even fix his garage door. So we can't loot it for goods either.  But on the upside, we're 2/3 done with exploring the town. Next time we learn how to break the game, so stay tuned! DoubleNegative fucked around with this message at 05:02 on Jul 30, 2015 |
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Jul 27, 2015 18:56
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Fister Roboto posted:All you really need for a map is a street map of scenic Fairplay, Colorado. Holy poo poo. The likeness is uncanny.
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Jul 27, 2015 18:57
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Mr. Slave's summon is interesting......to say the least. All the summons you get are pretty funny though, too bad there isn't a situation where they'd be actually useful. They're basically Get Out of Random Encounter Free cards. You are going to show them off though, right? wafflemoose fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Jul 27, 2015 |
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Jul 27, 2015 19:24
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Starhawk64 posted:Mr. Slave's summon is interesting......to say the least. All the summons you get are pretty funny though, too bad there isn't a situation where they'd be actually useful. They're basically Get Out of Random Encounter Free cards. There's actually a fair number of mini-boss fights that they work on. Which of course means that they're instant wins. Like this game needed to be any easier. Also, if I recall correctly, the "naughty" houses are scripted. The first of the three you open will have the woman, the 2nd the guy, and the third....well, you get the idea. mauman fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Jul 27, 2015 |
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Jul 27, 2015 20:43
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DoubleNegative posted:
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Jul 28, 2015 00:42
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Oh cool, an LP that I'm actually playing along with. I was surprised that this game is quite a bit of fun, since my opinion of South Park varies from episode to episode. And yeah, this game is pretty drat easy to people used to RPGs, but I know some friends of mine got stomped on by random encounters early on. Always be using items. It doesn't interfere with attacking, and unless you're chugging the Ultra Speed Potions, they're not all that expensive to keep a supply of. Those are like $15.
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Jul 28, 2015 00:47
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Starhawk64 posted:You are going to show them off though, right? Of course! Even if it's just a "summon showcase" thing where I run through what all of them look like after picking up the last one, I'll show them off. Colgate posted:Always be using items. It doesn't interfere with attacking, and unless you're chugging the Ultra Speed Potions, they're not all that expensive to keep a supply of. Those are like $15. Yeah, this. The Stick of Truth is a really good game to disabuse you of item hoarding tendencies. The most valuable items are probably the bottles of water, and they're also one of the most common drops from random encounters. You don't even need to use items to heal up after an encounter, because leaving combat fully heals your team.
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Jul 28, 2015 01:54
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DoubleNegative posted:Holy poo poo. The likeness is uncanny. Well, it's the town that South Park is based on, so I would hope so.
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Jul 28, 2015 04:14
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DoubleNegative posted:The town of South Park, for the purposes of this game, is laid out in three distinct rows. Most of the houses are on the top row. We're now on the second row where the majority of the businesses can be found. We'll cover the bottom row next time, but it has still more businesses. I think you have this backwards. You started on the bottom row where most of the house are.
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Jul 28, 2015 14:24
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mateo360 posted:I think you have this backwards. You started on the bottom row where most of the house are. If that's the case, then how are you overlooking the town from the tower in Cartman's backyard?
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Jul 28, 2015 14:42
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Mraagvpeine posted:If that's the case, then how are you overlooking the town from the tower in Cartman's backyard? You're looking at the town from the bottom of the map, gazing towards the top.
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Jul 28, 2015 15:13
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He might mean "top" as in "highest", there's a visible downwards slope from the houses to downtown (which is what you'd generally expect for a small mountain town, and explains why Cartman's lovely cardboard tower has such a good view.)
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Jul 28, 2015 15:20
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Gabriel Pope posted:He might mean "top" as in "highest", there's a visible downwards slope from the houses to downtown (which is what you'd generally expect for a small mountain town, and explains why Cartman's lovely cardboard tower has such a good view.) That makes sense for a physical environment but for mapping purposes, your not going to make the characters go up to get to Cartman's house, you make the character go down. Basically if you look at a physical map, your not going to point at the bottom and call that the top (unless you hold them map upside down like a dumbass)
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Jul 28, 2015 15:29
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I think you're saying that bottom is South and top is North.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:49
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Why do you include a screenshot of dialogue and then also type out the dialogue with one of the talking heads? It's redundant.
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Jul 28, 2015 16:50
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Mraagvpeine posted:I think you're saying that bottom is South and top is North. Basically. Also We got a view of a map in the second Update. DoubleNegative posted:
As you can see Kupa Keep is on the bottom of the map.
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Jul 28, 2015 17:00
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SonicRulez posted:Why do you include a screenshot of dialogue and then also type out the dialogue with one of the talking heads? It's redundant. It helps on mobile, cause the subtitles are tiny. It's helpful to me.
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Jul 28, 2015 17:58
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So, fun fact: If you complete the Find Jesus quest as a Jew, you get an achievement. Named "We cool?" This game, man.
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Jul 28, 2015 23:56
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Hello everyone, welcome back. Today we're gonna finish exploring the majority of the town. This guy is one of the few bums that we can't kick out of the town. He's actually a merchant, and one of the most convenient ones. Typically whenever I run low on bottles of water, I come to this guy.   The equipment he sells isn't very good.  One of the goth kids, I think it was Pete, talked about the cool homeless guy on the far end of town. These cosmetics make us look like a goth kid. Take a wild guess what we're going to have to do in the future at some point.  Like I said, he's one of the most convenient merchants to quickly access. Kupa Keep's store is just as convenient, but I forget that it's there. Every time you come to this screen (which is surprisingly often) you see this guy, so he tends to stick in my mind more.  One of the weapon sticker he sold was this thing. Adding extra Gross damage is really helpful.  This is the other weapon sticker he sold. Gross damage is one of the status effects that I haven't covered yet. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, it's the last status effect we haven't covered. It causes moderate damage at the end of an enemy's turn, and prevents them from healing. Furthermore, if an enemy tries to heal and is Grossed Out, they take damage instead. Status effects tend to be how you win in the harder fights in this game. All of the damage effects stack with each other, so it's not uncommon to have an enemy be afflicted with every debuff, taking hilarious amounts of damage. Stun them and... well, you get the idea. I would like to note that we can now deal all three damaging status effects.  Oh well. This is a "watch tower" according to the elf at the top. So let's deprive the elves of territory.    The game isn't completely broken yet, but we're about 80% of the way there.  He takes 39 tick damage from the bleed effect. We're kind of powerful now.   Correction. We're kind of powerful now. Dragon's Breath can now hit multiple enemies per cast.  Anyway, a little to the left is the U-STOR-IT building.  Inside we find this switch which opens the gate outside. There's also obviously an item cache behind the swinging gate, but it's apparently locked.  The Facebook message from Officer Barbrady I showed off last time. This screenshot was mostly to show that the gate outside did indeed open.   There's three storage lockers we can open back here. Two of them are locked, but we have the key to the third one.  In here a recording plays. The script says it's Professor Chaos, but... c'mon, it's Butters. : HAHAHAHAA! You have tripped the mighty CHAOS ALARM and now the earth shall be destroyed in 10 seconds! 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... BLAMO! : And now all of these lights and electrical equipment you see are ON and will never be turned off!! Draining the Earth's entire power supply and plunging humanity into a deep cold darkness. Without light or heat or computers or power, humans will be left to fend for themselves against the beasts and the elements! HUMANITY BE DAMNED!! HAHAHAHAHA!: Wow we must have stumbled upon the secret and cool lair of a super evil super cool super genius.: (if you break a cardboard box) Hey! No reason to break his nice evil genius things. On the far side of the Chaos Lair we find "General Disarray." He adds us on Facebook if we talk to him. This is obviously Dougie, but I'm not gonna complain that we can double dip for a friend perk.  : Dougie spoke of you and says you'd make a worthy ally.: Professor Chaos left me here to keep changing the light bulbs until the Earth's energy supply is drained. Just to add extra insult to injury, we now deal more damage to (and take less damage from) enemies that are bleeding.  The wall behind Dougie has Butters' search for who the mysterious "Mysterion" is. It's Kenny.   There's not a lot to do in here, sadly. The Chinpokomon was on top of the air duct.  Speaking of air ducts, we can walk into this one.   The Red Cross badge is another piece in our "snap the game in half" kit. Anyway, that's all we can do in the part of town, so it's time to head left.   : Psst. Pssst, hey. Over here.Is that the wind blowing? I swear I heard something over here. Hey random lady, did you hear anything? : I heard City Wok is serving Mongolian food now.Guess not. Oh well. Tweek Bros. Coffee sounds like somewhere we're likely to find Tweek.   : Welcome to Tweek Coffee. Coffee made with ingredients supplied by local organic suppliers. It's local coffee. Brewed locally. Tweek? TWEEEEK!!  : (from behind door) AGGHHG!: Have you picked up the fresh local ingredients?: (from behind door) AAAHGHGH NOT YET DAD!!! I'M STILL TRYING TO DO ALL MY CHORES!: Well hurry up, son, the family business is relying on you!: (from behind door) AHGHGHGHGH!!: Hello there. If you're looking for Tweek, he's in the back room, unattended. Unattended, like a pristine meadow known only to the wild horses that graze there. Would you like to try some coffee? It's fresh, like a sun-dappled cornfield ready for harvest.: You know, here at Tweek Brothers, we believe in using homegrown labor. That's why our son toils in the back all day. Sure we could hire workers, but I guess we just care a little more.: Which of our local coffees would you like to try? Tweek Bros. Coffee is the only place you can buy the Speed Potion Ultra. Be sure to buy one. $15 is really expensive at first, but doing so is the only way to become Facebook friends with Mr. and Mrs. Tweek. This is something I didn't know until just very recently. : That purchase qualifies you to be a friend of Tweek's coffee online. As a friend of Tweek's, you'll receive fresh, homegrown emails. Then we'll sell your information to local spammers. Sure, we could sell it to one of the big national spammers but... I guess we just care a little more. : You should try some coffee. It gives you that edge you need to stay focused at school. In the back room we find Tweek. : AHGHGHGH! How am I supposed to do all this?! There's no way, man! Starbucks has like eight employees! Here it's just me!! GAHGHGH!!!: More coffee!! Need more coffee!! AGHGHGH! : What's this?! AH!! NOW?!?! The guys need me now?! Oh there's no way man! I have WAY too much to do! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THIS?! Wait - YOU! Could you go get the four o'clock delivery for me?! If you do I can finish here and then - and then I'll still have time to play! PLEASE! Would you?! It's at Kenny's house - like always! Y-you give them THIS - They'll give you the delivery!: I can't play until all the work is done! If you get the delivery for me I can finish here!: The delivery is at Kenny's house! AHGHGHGH!!: The secret ingredient, man. From Kenny's place. Hurry!: Oh Jesus!Jesus. He needs to switch to decaf. We'll put that on the back-burner for now. We have a town to finish exploring.  : Psst. Pssst, hey. Over here.There's that noise again. I swear it's the wind. You guys hear that, right? Am I going crazy, or is it just the wind? For reasons obvious to anyone who's played this game, I'm putting off Al Gore's sidequest until later.  This guy's still working the ticket booth in 2014? He was working in there in 1999 when the first Asses of Fire came out.  : I wish I had some friends.: Ha! As IF you could see this movie!: It's like you are stalking this movie.: I was your age like a million years ago.: The answer is no, you cannot see this movie.: Have fun NOT seeing the Terrance and Phillip movie!: Seriously, I don't even remember being as young as you.: This movie is really sweet, too bad you guys can't see it.: I liked The Stapler. I thought it was some of Rob Schneider's better work.: How does it feel to totally not be able to see the new Terrance and Phillip movie?: It's like totally awesome to be mature like me and not immature like you twerps.: Walk by as many times as you want but you are never getting into THIS mature-rated movie.: Hey you kids wanna see a movie? Oh that's right, you can't, cause it's rated R and it's too mature for you.: Nya nya nya nya nya. You have to prove your maturity to see this movie and you can't because you are not of sufficient age.Wow. gently caress this guy.  Too bad he's so interested in his phone that he just missed us sneaking into Asses of Fire 2.   : I am Damien, the Antichrist, the Son of Satan, and I have never witnessed a thing as hideous and vile as the one you mortals call Rob Schneider.: Your blood will slake the thirst of a thousand fallen angels if you post anything motivational, or lame, or wimpy on my Facebook page.I told you guys the police weren't looking very hard. Of course, it could be argued that Damien is being punished already. The theater is endlessly playing previews for Rob Schneider movies. We're also now Facebook friends with Damien.  There's a few items in here. If we want to get the item behind all these breakable chairs, we need to enter from here.   The Action Hero Badge gives us some PP back when we kill something. That's all we can do in the theater, so back out we go.  Wow. gently caress that guy. Seriously. Something I haven't mentioned yet is that you can fart on demand. Just press up on the right thumbstick and you will fart. I think it's time to get some revenge. The Chinpokomon, by the way, was on top of the ticket booth.  : Ah, god! There's no ventilation in here!  Up this street here we can find the last few screens of town.  I forget if the game ever explicitly tells you or not, but the last of the warriors we need to track down, Token, lives in Dark Meadows Estates. Let's see if the guard will let us in.  : This is a gated community, sir. We do not allow in the riffraff. Move along sir.Well that was rude. Let's see if we can talk things over...  : If you try again, I will pepper spray you back to the Stone Age.: I warn you, sir, I have five years training at the mall. Move along, sir!: Sir, I'm a professional security guard. It is impossible to get past me.Let's just move on. We'll come back to get Token later.   : HAHAHAHA Dude someone just posted a video of you getting pepper sprayed! Hold on I gotta watch that again. AHAHAHAHA it's even better when you know what's coming!Butters and 3 others like this.  : Jimbo's Guns carries a selection of gas masks that render pepper spray totally useless as a self-defense. Come visit.Jimbo's Guns, eh? Let's go see!  Also time for another change-up. We're wearing 80s Action Hero shades.  On the next screen to the left is the mall. We can't go past the gate. This screen will be more lively later on in the game. Moving on...  What happened to City Sushi? The Tower of Peace is a little to the left of City Sushi. If you look in the lower left corner you can see a small child poking her head out from behind the fast travel caption.   : I couldn't decide where to hide!Now that I'm thinking about it, let's go round up some of the hiding kindergartners.  Back on the second row, I neglected to mention that we could crawl into the open manhole.  We'll extensively cover the sewers later on, but on this first screen we can see one of the children hiding behind a pile of garbage.   : Filmore told me to pick that spot. Pretty good, huh? Jenny is hiding behind a tree near Stark's Pond.   : This place is dark and scary. What if you never found me?That's 2/3 of the hiding children. We'll get the last two later on. For now, the Tower of Peace screen has one more location to visit.  City Wok.  I mean Mongolian Wok. I guess.   : Goddamn Mongolians...: (if you try to talk to the elf kid) Hey, no fighting in here!I'm not going to type the awful racist accent he uses. Just mentally substitute the letter "r" for the letter "l" in Mr. Kim's speech and you have it. He also slurs the name of his restaurant as "lovely Wok." Video:  : Hello, welcome to City Wok! Take your order, please!: Only thing we serving today is Mongolian beef. Mongolian beef so good, oh I just LOVE it.: Oh, hello Mongolian!  : (whispering) Shh... Mongolians are watching. They conquer me last week. Act natural.: Oh yeah, Mongolian beef, mm, so tasty, right? Wow...: (whispering) It not tasty at all! It gross! Don't eat it! You eat Mongolian beef, you poo poo your pants for five days!: (waving) Hello, Mongolian!  : (whispering) Please, you gotta help me out. The Mongolians all live like rats in the Tower of Peace next door! I'll keep the adults occupied here. You go top of tower and beat up all their kids! Beat up all the Mongolian kids! Then Mongolian think this neighborhood not a safe place. They move away! Go! Go! Beat up the little Mongolian kids! : (waving) Oh, hello Mongolian!Sometimes there just are no words.   The last screen of the town has Jimbo's Guns and the bar.  : Who, Wha-?? Hey, I guess I hit it a little hard at the bar this morning... Thanks for waking me up, kid. You on Facebook?: poo poo, I got to get to work!We're now Facebook friends with Kenny's dad. Let's go into the bar.   I lost count. How many are we up to now? Anyway, Skeeter has a quest for us.  : Well, well, you supposed to be some kind of knight of the round table? Welcome to Ye Olde Skeeter's tavern. Tell you what, good sir knight, I got rats in the basement. Big uns! That's why I got stuck with her majesty's goddamn health code violation. You think you're a real dungeon dweller, then go clear out them rats outta my basement. Well, what are you waitin for? Make loving haste.: You kill any of them rats yet?We're a real adventurer now. We've been sent on a quest to kill rats. The basement is right over there, so let's take care of it now.  The basement is pretty dark, but you can see a couple of the rats hanging around. They appear to have dorsal fins.   It turns out that rats have a debilitating weakness to both being set on fire and to being smashed with a hammer. Yes, Butters hit the thing so hard that it stopped existing altogether.  This basement also lets me demonstrate a neat mechanic we won't be introduced to for a while. See that jar of moonshine I have targeted?  If you stun a rat on top of the spilled moonshine (after you shoot it naturally) and then shoot the neon sign...  You take out one of the rats in the resulting surge of electricity. You even get full experience and item rewards for doing so! Cutting out the rest of the basement because it's just two more battles with rats that end on turn 1...  : drat if you ain't a noble knight after all. Alright kid, here ya go. : We don't take kindly to your type around here. Except you. We like - we like you.: Them rats got what was coming to em. I had you figured wrong, kid.We're also now Facebook friends with both Skeeter and the Bartender. But the real prize are the bar darts. These things are incredibly nice.  Look at the innate bonuses over on the right. Really high damage, you fire three projectiles randomly, bleeding, and increased damage on perfect attack. We can make them better.  Each enemy now hit by a dart is afflicted with two stacks of the bleed debuff. If there's only one target, then they will get hit by all three darts. A full five stacks of bleed sounds really nice for one turn. : Now that the rats are gone the roaches are breeding unchecked. Guess we shouldn't have hosed with mother nature.Bartender likes this. Into Jimbo's Guns we go.  : Well hello there Jimbo and Ned!: Well! What brings you here today? Business or pleasure? Or vengeance?: Vengeance! : You've come to the right place.: Howdy there! Haven't seen you before. You must be the new kid that moved to town - and you're into huntin', huh?! Well, my boy, you've come to the right place! South Park is chock FULL o' things to shoot that would delight ANY taxidermist, survivalist or weekend animal death enthusiast! Ain't much I can sell to a minor - thanks to the stupid Democrats - bu-but if you can prove yourself a REAL hunter I might be able to get you some better stuff. You should buy a copy of the Hunter's Guide to South Park Wildlife! This book thingy here!: The Guide to South Park Wildlife is everything a hunter needs to know about the beasts of Central Colorado. Got some things for sale might help your hunting. Interested? This is a game-spanning sidequest. We can get a start on it now, but it will be an incredibly long time before we can finish it.  We should also buy this while we're here. We are gonna need this soon I suspect.   We can very nearly afford these. The katana and the crossbow are the two strongest weapons in the game. It's a pity we can't actually equip them until the end of the game. Some day...  : You remind me of a guy I served with in Nam. : Remember you can legally kill anything in self-defense.: Do you need to borrow my voice box?: Shot and killed any of them animals in the Wildlife Guide? I'll make it worth yer while!: Don't think you're going to have an easy time finding those beasts I told you about, New Kid.Ned and 2 others like this. : Remember - those bastards will only come running if you offer 'em something they can't resist!: Oh, that's right! You'll have to use one of the items I gave you to tempt them out!We'll start on that later. First, though...  Because it's an easy sidequest, let's go evict the Mongolians from the Tower of Peace.  When we enter, this kid hits his gong and the stairs raise. We're also thrust immediately into combat.   One round of darts later and you can see just how insanely broken bleed damage is.  Butters' lightning attack can very nearly one shot these guys.  Up on the next floor we can set off fireworks. There's another fight, but it's just as easy as the first one.  But the reward is amazing.  It has the same damage range as the darts, but deals extra fire damage? Sign me up! Of course I also apply the toothpick to it, so it adds bleed damage as well.  If you walk through this hole, you can grab a hanging key.   But you shouldn't also forget the Chinpokomon.  These are in the little toolbox on the left side of the tower.  Yet another piece in our "break the game in half" kit! This is an armor accessory.  We need to be level 4 to properly break the combat. We'll make do until then.  : Oh boy, a door puzzle! It's not a very difficult puzzle. The piece is hanging over to the right.   Slot it into place...  Shoot the dragon's eye and the door opens to the roof. Video:   Um...  Err...  Boss fight time! The video link above has the fight in all of its glory.  The Mongolian Horde has 509 health. That is a lot more than anything else we've fought up to this point!  I set them on fire and apply three stacks of bleeding with the bow.  They retaliate by shooting flaming arrows at Butters.  Then on the second round of combat I shoot with a bow again, giving the boss a 5 stack of bleeding. That tick damage is a killer!   Let's go back to Mr. Kim for our reward.  : Mongolian beef smell like Lionel Richie's rear end in a top hat.: There you go, kid. All the City chicken you can carry. You do good work. I'll help you gently caress up Mongolians any time you want. Not bosses, though, they too tough. You call me with this. I give you one per day.: Sorry, you can only summon me once per day. Or else who's gonna sell this City Beef? Come back tomorrow.Yeah, we just got our third summon item. Just one more to go and we've got all of 'em!  Time to break this sucker wide open.  Look at those patches and think about how we can attack. We can now cast Dragon's Breath indefinitely and will heal ourself whenever we do so. There is armor we'll get later on that makes this kit even more absurd.  Speaking of Dragon's Breath, now whenever we cast it, all of our abilities get even stronger. Let's go find some elves to make friends with.  Your eye is probably drawn to the right side of that image with the very large numbers coming out of that elf we just set on fire with our bow. But look over top of Douchebag. See those green 10s? Yeah, we just healed ourselves for 30 damage just from shooting arrows.  Hey Mr. Security Guard, I want a rematch!
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Jul 30, 2015 14:59
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mateo360 posted:I think you have this backwards. You started on the bottom row where most of the house are. I went back and fixed this in the previous update. I blame writing my updates in the middle of the night. SonicRulez posted:Why do you include a screenshot of dialogue and then also type out the dialogue with one of the talking heads? It's redundant. Honestly? Because I forgot to turn off subtitles when recording, and I'm not going back to re-record three hours of footage, then recapture some 460+ screenshots just to cut out the subtitled dialogue. The screenshots with redundant dialogue on them are mostly to give context to what's happening while the characters talk. ZRM posted:It helps on mobile, cause the subtitles are tiny. It's helpful to me. Also this too.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:06
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DoubleNegative posted:
The owner committed suicide by jumping out of that tower and onto his building--which destroyed it.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:12
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Oh the wonderful "burn to death while I get stronger" build. I'm not sure how it is with the other classes, but it's really easy to break the game with the Mage once you get the correct badges. Dragon's Breath is such a ridiculously fun ability to use.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:15
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Blind Sally posted:The owner committed suicide by jumping out of that tower and onto his building--which destroyed it. The reason he did this was because it was revealed that Mr Kim is actually a crazy white man who thinks he a racist caricature of a Chinese man.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:45
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jimmydalad posted:Oh the wonderful "burn to death while I get stronger" build. I'm not sure how it is with the other classes, but it's really easy to break the game with the Mage once you get the correct badges. Dragon's Breath is such a ridiculously fun ability to use. Jew gets to do it too with leech/healing and ju-jitsu. Sure, it can't hit multiple opponents, but it does have the good grace to be a stun move as well. The fact that it eventually gives you a shield is just gravy. You do need to be wearing the friar cap to pull this off though. I would say Jew is best class. It's final abilities are downright insane. Actually, now that I think about it, Jews can also use the burning damage (like the mage) once you get the final two abilities. All but two of the Jew's abilities are multi hit and either do gross-out damage or fire damage. Along with Kosher damage, arguably the best element. mauman fucked around with this message at 16:39 on Jul 30, 2015 |
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Jul 30, 2015 16:32
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I admit I have always enjoyed the Mongolians who are just drawn to gently caress with city walls.
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Jul 30, 2015 20:48
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jimmydalad posted:Oh the wonderful "burn to death while I get stronger" build. I'm not sure how it is with the other classes, but it's really easy to break the game with the Mage once you get the correct badges. Dragon's Breath is such a ridiculously fun ability to use. My thief evolved to inflict 5x bleed every attack along with basically every debuff in the game while pretty much ignoring armor and taking advantage of stunning effects.
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Jul 30, 2015 23:04
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I think it's nigh about time we kick start this game's plot, don't you guys? Let's do that. This also gives me something to do instead of watching a boring, commentary-less, speedrun. I swear, if you're going to play Pokemon Blue blindfolded, the least you could do is talk about it instead of asking for total silence. Anyway...  Last time we gained infinite power. Let's go abuse that power.  Talking to the security guard prompts him trying to mace us again. It doesn't work this time! : What the gently caress? Oh NO! We're thrown into a battle with an overweight idiot. He has some special dialogue, but this is also about the strength of a random battle. The only attack I've ever seen him use is him trying to taze you. If you fail to block that, then you get stunned for a few turns. : (idle) Hey, what are you doing?: (idle) Let's move this fight along, sir.: (idle) This is private property, sir.: (idle) Sir, you are making me late for my Elk's club meeting.: (idle) Sir, I have taken a three hour combat workshop in the deadly arts.: (dying) Move... along. This is wildly exciting, I know.   Two updates ago I complained about there being no nightsticks as weapons. Despite having recorded this section in one giant three hour block, I had honestly forgotten about this "billy club" weapon. It's not very good, so we're not going to use it.  Before we talk to Token, let's raid his garage. Up on the second floor of the garage, we find something I've been waiting on.  That Friar Cap is one of the better early-game armors. The set it's part of is particularly awesome.  It has "Gain 1 PP when healed" innate. This is something of a theme with the armor set, as you'll come to find out soon.   I think this is 8 or 9? We're still on target to collect all of them, so no worries yet.   : Yeah? : Can I... help you? : What's this?...Oh, the elves took the Stick again? Hang on a second.  : Thank you for thy message, traveler! I shall make haste to Kupa Keep! (walking to the right) Mom! Can you drive me to Eric's house?We're now friends with Token on Facebook, and that's the first of the wayward warriors finally collected.  : Move along, sir. I can't look at you without feelings of deep personal shame.Getting your rear end kicked by two nine year olds will do a lot for your humility. Now, there's one last part of the top row of town we haven't yet explored.  : Asses of Fire 2 is out, guys. They spent 250 million on it, it's gonna be awesome.Butters and Craig like this. Last time we talked to the shop bum, but the screen continues to his right.  : My class is Healer. You can't just change it to Blacksmith, Cartman.: Don't fight it Token. You're born a Blacksmith. I just look at you and I think Blacksmith, you know? Not sure why. You can climb up into the back of this U-STOR-IT truck. The staircase of boxes is supposed to be a hint you can do this, but it can be easy to overlook.  Three homeless people were hardly a challenge and that was two levels ago, so I want you to imagine just how difficult this combat encounter was. It wasn't. There's also a dye you can pick up in the little treasure chest above the homeless person. It's like orange-gold or something.  Anyway, the final screen of the top row is over here. Just wander up this path.  This is the home of that insane redneck farmer. You know, the one that killed Scott Tenorman's parents. As of the time of this writing (4:30 AM on August 1, 2015) that episode isn't available for streaming on that website. But I included the link for reference's sake all the same.  The fifth kindergartner is hiding over to the left.   : Aww you founded me. Jimbo didn't give us a very good explanation on the hunting quest, but one of the things we need to hunt is a cow. So, let's attach the bell he gave us to this fencepost.  Like so.  Oh look, there's our cow prey now. Now, I gotta warn you guys. This is a very difficult fight and it took me several retries before I got it just right. So scroll down once you're ready to see the strategy I used to beat the cow.  Sorry, I couldn't help myself.  Now, if you remember two updates ago, I told you that you could leave to the south off this screen and it would put us pretty close to Kupa Keep.  Right now we're one screen to the right of Kupa Keep. You may recall that there was a swarm of rats preventing us from coming this way initially. Right in front of us is Francis, who has some dialogue.  : My frost giant is invincible.If you break his snowman... : You have slain the mighty frost giant. I stand in awe of you, hero.: I continue to admire your awesomeness.He friends you on Facebook!   There are 121 friends in the game, so we've got quite a ways to go. Yes, several of them are permanently missable as well. Oh, and our ranged damage is now more awesome than before.  This must be Kyle's house. Strange that we haven't seen him or Stan yet...  : Welcome to the neighborhood!: Hey, if you ever wanna sue anybody, you can come to me first okay?: You ever wonder what it'd be like to be a dolphin? Just... doing flips, eating fish, not a care in the world?: Just landed a new celebrity client. I can't reveal her name but let's just say she's a 300-ft tall robot dinosaur.Randy likes this.  : Come on, one hint.The Broflovski house and garage are both locked, so we can't enter them yet.  However, the Marsh garage is not secured at all. Time to get to looting!  We'll equip these later, but this is another nice piece of armor. If I recall, it has a thorns effect.   : Well this is Stan's house but he isn't here right now.: Hey guys, grab a beer and join me for SportsCenter.: Oh, Stan's out playing that game too. I wanted to come but he wouldn't let me so I'm drinking beer instead.Douchebag is pointedly looking at the floor and not at Randy Marsh's awful flabby hairy body.   Stan's room, ladies and gents. If we try to look in his closet...  : I'm never coming out! More underpants for our weird collection.  This is laying on the floor in front of his toybox. Those arrows are actually directions to something that I never found the first several times I played this. I guess I never put 2 and 2 together. That's all there is in Stan's room, so let's see what's next door.     : Who the gently caress are you? I'm gonna KILL YOU, turd!The game then kicks us out of her room. So let's visit the master bedroom across the hallway, I guess.   I think this is the fourth pair we've found.  So how DO you kill that which has no life?  Moving on, let's head left.  We're back at Cartman's house. While we're here, let's do something I forgot to do earlier.   They wouldn't have been of any use to us earlier.  Over at the bus stop, let's talk to Kelly again now that we have a bunch of friends.  : Hey, you're getting popular. I need to get in on that!: Keep getting more popular, New Kid. Don't let me down.We need 26 friends for her to actually notice us. You may also notice that I put the goatee back on Douchebag. I'm preparing for something we're about to do in a minute.  First we need to travel back to the police station. If you fast travel from the bus stop, you get this cutscene.  : Ooh fast travel Timmy. : I could swear Romper Stomper had a couple more years on his sentence, but you DO have the key... : Thanks. Now finally I can go see a Disneyland that hasn't been snuck into prison in some kid's rear end in a top hat.: Get out of here and leave me alone, pervert.We're friends with Romper Stomper now.  Anyway, the duffel bag in his cell had the item I needed.  We look pretty badass. Kind of familiar... hard to place, though.  Yeah, kind of like Heisenberg.  Before I forget, let's return Kevin's dad's iPad. : Well done! The galaxy is in your debt. Let it be known that I have been... and will always be... your friend. On Facebook.: Live long and prosper.Kevin Stoley is now our Facebook friend! : Greetings, human. This is an incoming transmission from the U.S.S. Kevin. We are currently orbiting Earth and are prepared to provide photon torpedo support. Kevin out.: Okay, seriously, Kevin. There are no loving spaceships in Zaron. Okay?: It's just humans and elves and they don't have loving phasers, they have swords and arrows.: Forgive me, admiral. My Vulcan half does not always prevent me from doing illogical things. We get a new ranged weapon from Kevin.  Meh. I'm honestly not sure what use slow has as a debuff. I played through this entire game, start to finish, last night and got slowed several times. It doesn't cause tick damage, so my best guess is just that it makes you move later in the turn order?  I didn't see it at the time, but there's a Chinpokomon behind that pile of wood. There's one more screen in this part of town.  We also look a lot less badass now. I didn't think to grab a shot, but all the armor does is add some defense and give us the thorns effect. I'm not sure I want to know why a sock is tied around the rope belt.  Anyway, we need to go across the tracks to the poor side of town.  We need to go to Kenny's house.   : What? Oh this isn't for me. This is for the nice people who are renting the guest house out in the back. I stand corrected. We need to go to Kenny's garage.  This is the whole reason I pretended we look anything remotely like Heisenberg. This is for an achievement. : Yeah, yeah. We got the package for Tweek Coffee. You got the envelope?: Uh, these witch doctors must be cooking up a secret potion. I wonder if it's a healing potion...: These guys might be scientists...  : Hey... that's not the usual kid that picks up the package.: Huh? Oh poo poo. It's a COP!! You see, we're here to beat up people who have a meth lab in the McCormick Garage, and the game has an achievement for doing so while wearing a bald cap and the evil cartman goatee.  : (idle) ain't got all day, pig!: (idle) Are you gonna arrest me or what?The game thinks this is a boss fight. These guys are slightly upgraded hobos that get the first attack in on you.  I only saw one attack of note, which was this...  I even captured the projectile flying through the air. That lady threw a molotov at Butters with predictable results. That is to say, Butters went down like a sack of potatoes. However, this gives me a chance to show off how revive potions work!  You just kinda hold the taco aloft and your companion is jerked back to consciousness like a puppet on strings.  They go down pretty quickly after that. Now, if you look just over Douchebag's head, you can make out flames. That's actually an environmental hazard, and it will damage you if you run into it. So we have to take the long way around.   Destroy the roof here and you can climb out of the house.   There's a treasure chest up here.   This club is just as good as our tesla wand, and gets extra damage on a perfect attack. Sounds like a good weapon to use for a while!   The quest item we need is here on the shelf.  And awful armor we'll never use is the only thing in the chest. The flames are turned off by the valve, naturally.  This tutorial message was supposed to pop up before this point.  Let's go visit the McCormicks.   : Oh hey, you're the new kid! My sister the Princess texted me about you. She thinks you're cute.: My sister Kenny doesn't need protecting, but watch out for her anyway.I'm still honestly unsure if Kenny is just roleplaying or actually has GID, but I'm gonna err on the side of caution here and just refer to Kenny as she until further notice. We're also Facebook friends with Karen now.  Speaking of Kenny, this is her room.  Butters doesn't have anything to say about Mysterion's costume hanging in Kenny's closet.  Over in the kitchen we can talk to Mrs. McCormick. : Sorry to hear about the renters. Usually they're real fun and energetic.: If you see Kenny tell him to pick up some dinner on his way home. Not them fancy Toaster Strudels though, just regular Pop Tarts.She also adds us on Facebook. Anyway, that's enough of that. Let's head back into town. But first...  Beating elves up never gets old.  Anyway, I can never remember where the last kindergartner is hiding.  As a result, I never think to look in the bank because there is so little do to in here.  : No way! How did you find me? That makes 6, so let's go get our quest reward.  : You found all of us! You win!All six of the kids we found add us on Facebook as a reward! : I'll hide better next time.: Hiding is fun!: You won't find me next time.: I'm not hiding at the pond again.: We can play again later right?: Next time YOU can hide.  Looking back, I'm surprised it took me this long to get this perk. Fire damage is gonna be our best damage type for most of the game. Anyway, that's almost all of the side business we can accomplish now, so let's go finish Tweek's delivery and get on with the plot.   : You did it! You got the pickup! Oh thanks, man! DAD!! I finished my work can I go play?: Where's today's delivery?: Right here! : Hmm, yup, that's good poo poo. Alright, Tweek, you can play for a little bit. But be home before dark or you'll be grounded. Grounded -- like the fresh grinds of our all-organic Tweek blend, made with ingredients from local tweakers.: Thanks kid. I gotta go get changed then I'll meet you at the kingdom! We're 1/3 of the way to the level cap and we haven't really even started the story yet. Don't worry too much, though. The game may be incredibly easy, but everything levels up with you.  Dragon's Breath is now incredibly badass, and will only become more valuable as the game wears on. I don't want to give too much away, but encounters get decidedly less friendly later on. Heavily armored enemies might have 20 armor right now, but by the end of the game, we'll be dealing with foes that have quite a lot more.  THIS is what I've been waiting on!  Let's set up our broken patches...  and marvel at the innate regeneration on the armor. Yes, the regeneration replenishes our stock of PP with that patch.  Now look at the gloves. That tiny regen of 5 per turn is suddenly restoring 40 per turn. Our hat also has the "gain 10 HP when you deal damage" armor patch. So every time we use Dragon's Breath, our PP bar is fully replenished and each tick of damage restores 35 health. The game's difficulty? It is officially snapped in half.  Naturally we need to rep the Row while we run around in South Park.  But first, I promised plot. Video:  : All soldiers reporting for duty, Grand Wizard! : Nice work, Douchebag. Now all my men are here and ready to fight for the - wait a minute, where is Feldspar? Where's my level twelve thief?: Hey yeah, where's Craig?: He's in detention.: What?!: He flipped off the principal, so he's in detention again. : Oh my God... If they've locked away our thief in detention we have no hope of getting back the Stick of Truth. We have to break him out!: Agh! No way, man, last time we broke Craig out of detention we ALL got in trouble!: Getting into trouble is a risk that Douchebag is willing to take! You have to break out our thief, Douchebag. But don't worry, I will not let you go unprepared. I am going to teach you how to use magic. Meet me at the training barracks. It's time for you to learn 'Dragonshout.'Before we go learn magic, there's more optional dialogue with everyone here. : Can't talk! Need to practice! AAAGH!!: At first I didn't want to join the KKK at all, but the Grand Wizard made some really good points. : Welcome to our base. All are welcome here. Even those with chronic medical conditions.: Just because someone has diabetes doesn't mean they can't be a productive member of society.: Princess Kenny says she may be a beautiful seductress, but she can fight, too.: My job is to clean up all the cat poop. : You fight well, Douchebag, but to truly succeed in combat you must learn to harness the power... of your farts. Farting on an opponent at precisely the right time is key to battle. I shall show you how it's done, but FIRST, you must take the Gentlemen's Oath. You must promise to NEVER, EVER fart on anyone's balls. Okay? Farting on an opponent is necessary, but farting on someone's balls is NOT COOL. Do you understand? All right, then, let's begin your training. : To conjure Dragonshout, you must first clear your mind and take in a deep breath... through your butthole. Like so. HRRNNGGHH!! Then... let it rumble inside you... and... DRAGONSHOUT!! : I'll show you one more time. Suck it in... : Let it rumble... : DRAGONSHOUT!! : Now you. Ready? Dragonshout!One complaint you see a lot about this game is the tutorial for farting. It bears little resemblance to the actual controls for the farts later on. So for now you just need to follow the instructions explicitly. Don't do anything until the prompt tells you.  First you hold it in by holding down on the right thumbstick.  Next you let it rumble by using the left thumbstick to find the frequency where your controller vibrates. Hold it there until the next instruction appears.  Finally you press up the right thumbstick.  Cartman has a lot of failure dialogue, but it's a huge pain to get it. Every time you fail the inputs, you have to watch him do it again, complete with tutorial prompts. : (if you fail) C'mon, you have to trap the air. It's like a fart, but in reverse. I'll show you one more time.: (if you fail again) Don't be polite, dude. Just let it rip. I'll show you one more time.: (if you fail again) Whoa, don't leave the air trapped inside! That poo poo's dangerous - people die like that. I'll show you one more time.: (if you fail again) No, no. That was like a DragonPEEP. You gotta let it all out. It's a mighty roar! I'll show you one more time.He also has encouraging words while you practice. : (holding left thumbstick) Find the frequency!: (at the frequency) Hold... hold!!Moving on...  : My god that was... incredible. A man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so... boisterous. Could it be that the prophecies are true? Could it be that the Dragonborn has come at last in our hour of need? Now let us try your skill on a REAL opponent. Hey, hey, Princess Kenny, could you come here a sec? (giggling) Shhh, don't tell him. Okay. Just real quick, Princess Kenny. Sir Douchebag wants to show you something. All right, you two - SPAR! Sir Douchebag, show Princess Kenny the magical powers I have taught you. : (if you fail) Douchebag, don't get all shy on me now. Show her the trick! : HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!! THAT WAS loving HILARIOUS!! HA HA AHAHAHA! DUDE THAT WAS loving AWESOME!! (wiping away tears) O-okay, good job, Sir Douchebag, that was sweet. Thanks, Princess Kenny. That's all for now.  : (muffled) gently caress you, rear end in a top hat. : Haahahaha! Okay, but dude, seriously remember, don't EVER do that on someone's balls. Okay, seriously. You have mastered Dragonshout. From now on it will be easier for you.Dragonshout has two uses that aren't immediately apparent. Firstly, it clears swarms of rats away, so now there are very few barriers in our way. Secondly, it can be used to spread flame. You'll see I mean next time  : Kenny will assist you on your quest, Douchebag. Now go get Craig while I rest and relax upon my throne.: (in the tent) I'm counting on you. Get Craig back here alive.Kenny is now available to use as a combat buddy! She's an archer, and can debuff enemies as well. I also take this opportunity to replace the gross element on our beatstick with fire.  I think we're ready to go rescue Craig. Next time we go to the first dungeon of the game.
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Aug 2, 2015 00:36
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I decided to update early because I had this ready. We're also near the end of the footage I have recorded, so after the upcoming dungeon there won't be any more subtitles on the images.
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Aug 2, 2015 00:36
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For that episode link, the South Park website is weird in that it redirects you to a local site. Probably some licensing poo poo. For instance, it redirects me to southpark.nl. Not the episode page, but the home page. Then I have to go look up the episode again. Good thing the episode number is in the link. It seems to be available on .nl, but for some reason it (s05e01) is in the episode list after s05e04. There might be a good reason for that, I haven't seen much of the show so I wouldn't know.
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Aug 2, 2015 01:17
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Carbon dioxide posted:For that episode link, the South Park website is weird in that it redirects you to a local site. Probably some licensing poo poo. For instance, it redirects me to southpark.nl. Not the episode page, but the home page. Then I have to go look up the episode again. Good thing the episode number is in the link. I got geoblocked. But with this as the message, I'm not even mad. 
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Aug 2, 2015 05:49
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MythLisp posted:I got geoblocked. But with this as the message, I'm not even mad. They've been 'coming soon' for something like five years now.
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Aug 2, 2015 09:04
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 09:07 |
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"Makin' movies, singin' songs, and fightin' 'round the world!"
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Aug 2, 2015 19:39
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