Bohemian Asshole Simulator - Let's Play Next Life!

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Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

What's this?

Next Life is an adventure game developed by Future Games, the creators of The Black Mirror, which I guess was pretty good?

wikipedia posted:

The main character Adam Reichl possibly dies in a car accident and wakes up on unknown island in the middle of nowhere. He starts to explore and tries to find out where he is only to find that there are other people in the island seemingly from different time periods.

If that sounds interesting to you, you're in for a surprise.

Hey wait, didn't you already LP this?

Yes, actually! Next Life was the first LP Grace and I did back when the bad games thread was still open. Our videos are fraught with technical issues, neither of our microphones worked overly well, and I had no idea how to actually edit videos at the time. I wanted to revisit this game in SSLP form since it gives me the opportunity to really get into the details :v:

Is it any good?

Let me level with you. Here's a short list of games I've already LPd.

-Mario is Missing
-Jurassic Park (SNES)
-Mario's Time Machine
-Steven Segal is The Final Option
-Sonic 2006

I can say with complete honesty that Next Life is the absolute worst game I've ever played. The only comparable game I can think of is Limbo of the Lost. I am so not making that comparison lightly. The main character is impossible to like, the graphics are a bizarre combination of high quality textures on low quality meshes, the plot is so bad that it gets worse the more you understand it, the characters are at best one-dimensional and at worst racist caricatures, and I'm not even going to start on the moon logic bullshit thrown around by the 'puzzles'.

Wh-why would you LP this game twice if it's that bad?

Experience Bij.

What's the spoiler policy?

No spoilers, not even tagged. If you watched the VLP and if it hasn't happened yet in the SSLP, don't bring it up. No one will believe you anyway.

Hey! You made a typo!

I promise you, if it's from dialogue, no I didn't. I'm transcribing all the text from the subtitles, and I'm leaving every minor typo alone to preserve the experience. If it's not in dialogue then yeah I probably hosed up.

# ? Aug 8, 2015 23:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 5, 2024 19:24

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Chapters

Update 1 - Belltower Blues
Update 2 - Bohemian Crapsody
Update 3 - Welcome To Construction Zone
Update 4 - Bell Tower Two: Bell Tower Harder
Update 5 - Adam ~~Kills~~ Saves Some People
Update 6 - 130 Seconds
Update 7 - Adam! Do Something!
Update 8 - :downswords:

Danaru fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Jan 15, 2016

# ? Aug 8, 2015 23:09

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Update 1 - Belltower Blues

Our story starts off with our hero walking into a decrepit looking shack, as most heroic stories start.

Or... actually that's his garage. Alright. Maybe things are different in Europe.

This is our hero, Adam Raichl. I honestly can't think of a single personality trait for him besides "ugh" and "vest". I guess he's kind of a hoarder, but that's more of an adventure game thing than an Adam thing.

SUDDENLY HE loving EXPLODES!

INTO A STARGATE!

Or not. Adam stares blankly ahead trying to figure out whether he's having an epileptic seizure, but decides he's good to drive anyway. gently caress you Adam.

Pictured: Me realizing I still have the walkthrough for this game in my bookmarks.

In any case, Adam decides to head off to... work? There's no way this rear end in a top hat got invited to a party.

Question for any eurogoons: Is it common to just have a ruined tower on the street corner? For that matter, is it common to have roads thin enough that only one vehicle can fit on them? What do you do when you're driving one way and someone else comes in the opposite direction?

Adam gets a call on his cellphone, and decides that driving after experiencing an epileptic aura isn't dangerous enough let's get distracted too!

"Hi. I just left."

One thing you'll notice is that people in this game don't exactly talk like humans do. I was originally going to point out how many subtitles don't actually follow what the character's voice actor says, but no joke I hit almost 30 in this one update before I gave up. I'll just be transcribing from the subtitles since those tend to be more hosed up. :v:

Adam is still driving by the way. This intro goes on for loving forever. There are multiple transitions between a scene of Adam driving to a second scene of Adam still driving.

OH poo poo

SUDDENLY HE loving EXPLODES!

INTO A STARGATE!

Normally we have these things called "Traffic Lights", they show a red or a green light in order to direct traffic to explicitly avoid this kind of thing. With that said, we also have a thing called "Don't drive like an rear end in a top hat". Next Life takes place in an alternate Earth where the average competency level is "Touch electrical fence to see if it's on".

Adam's fine by the way. :sigh:

The term "Karma Houdini" will come up a lot in this game.

Even Adam is confused about the whole not being a large pile of ash thing. Not even mildly barbecued.

I think he's supposed to be noticing his belongings are missing, since that's a reoccurring theme, but it looks like he's just checking to see if his precious denim is safe. We also haven't been introduced to the loving pocket dimension that is Adam's vest yet. I don't know, I'm pretty sure I'm putting more effort into this cutscene than the devs did.

The models in this game are kind of creepy, the textures are fairly high resolution, but they're wrapped onto a sort of lovely mesh, and it just gives an unsettling vibe. Just look at his hand.

GOD JESUS speaking of unsettling. A tiny asian lady is staring at Adam without saying a word.

Suddenly she runs away. Okay.

Keep it classy, Future Games. :sigh:

Jesus loving christ the faces in this game. :gonk:

This isn't even the scary part of the game yet.

"Hi, did you pull me out of the water?"

Our new friend speaks with a German accent done by someone who has never head of Germany aside from playing Wolfenstein 3D.

I only included this because this guy loves giving the thumbs up a lot. Also because his facial expression is hilariously :smith:

while talking about how lucky he is for surviving a fall from five kilometers.

Wait he survived a loving five kilometer fall without injury?!

"And I was just listening to the radio that Nixon is in big trouble because of Watergate."

I didn't skip a line, that's his followup after the whole hey a loving miracle just happened bit. It's easy to overlook that he's talking about the Watergate scandal as a topical event, that's not a mistake, that's a plot thing.

"Before my motor collapsed."

Again I didn't skip a line here. THIS ISN'T HOW HUMANS TALK.

Our new friend suddenly becomes upset at his own inability to communicate like a normal human, and just leaves without saying another word.

Pictured: Me when I realized I never actually uninstalled this game since the VLP.

So now we gain control of Adam. We have a bed, a toilet, and a shower, but if you click on them, Adam will just whine about not having to take a poo poo or something. "Whine" is pretty much Adam's default state.

On the table is a bottle of water and a pack of cookies. Let's introduce you to the process of picking up an item.

First you click on it, and when Adam finally finds the precisely right place to stand and rotate, he'll grab the item and cram it into the exact same inside pocket on his vest. It's always a goofy adventure game thing when characters have a magical inventory, but it gets taken to some pretty insane extremes in this game.

With the item safely stuffed into his vest, Adam will go back to standing normally as a small icon of the item appears for a few seconds. You cannot skip these few seconds.

As a result, it takes about seven seconds of unskippable animation to pick up any items. That's best case scenario. Sometimes Adam inexplicably takes longer because he has the dexterity of a pile of bricks.

This doesn't sound so bad right now, but wait. Just... wait.

With our water and cookies in hand, we step outside to... this.

"This must be a dream... How is this possible? Where in the heck am I? I did not pay for a holiday in the Caribbean as far as I know."

I'm pretty sure that was a joke, but the delivery made it sound like Adam was genuinely worried that he was being charged money to be here.

I mean, I would too, but I don't live in a fancy house with a fancy run-down garage.

Adam becomes 100% obsessed with this loving belltower. Adam's entire motivation right now is GET TO BELL TOWER.

"Maybe I'll find out something. Should I try to climb up?"

G E T T O B E L L T O W E R

The game is a little merciful, and lets you see any exits from the screen when you hit E. It's less 'helpful' and more 'absolutely loving necessary to complete the game'. It doesn't show items though, so you're on your own for pixel hunts.

We take the exit right behind Adam, to the beach.

Can you spot Adam? It doesn't actually matter, since once you click on someone, you teleport right to them. If you didn't realize that, you'd probably spend an ENTIRE MINUTE watching Adam waddle his stupid rear end over to the tiny lady who was staring at you.

If you double click, you can run, but... That'll come up later.

"Hi, I'm Adam."

Stares in silence, nods, then looks back to the ocean.

"Can you hear me?"

Clearly turns her head at the sound of Adam's voice, and nods twice to confirm that yes, she can hear him.

"Mhmmm, I guess you are not in the mood to talk."

Turns her head back to the ocean, satisfied that Adam understood what she was trying to convey.

"What are you watching?"

Turns to Adam, confused that he just acknowledged that she does not want to talk, and yet continues to talk to her.

"Well, thanks for the chat."

Good work Adam, you've successfully harassed someone who's openly uninterested in you.

Then spoke about her while she's directly in front of you. Good. You're the hero.

We'll address the elephant in the room, it's easier to see in the game, but there's a man doing stretches, and another man on his knees and kinda wobbling to the right.

If you double click an area transition, it won't make Adam move over to it, and will just transition right away. Thank god.

Other games released in 2007:

Portal
The Witcher
Mass Effect
Crysis

Let's talk to Captain Prayer here, frankly we could use some points with the big guy upstairs.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, my name is Adam."

"Hail my brother, I'm the servent of my Lord."

I remember him saying "I'm a servant of the lord" in actuality, which makes him sound way more humble and less douchey.

"And do you have a name?"

I feel that's a facial expression Adam sees a lot when he talks to people.

"Do you have any idea where we are and what we are doing here?"

"We are in a purgatory, haven't you understood that?"

Izmael doesn't say the "A", which again, makes the line make more sense.

"Well I had a serious accident before I appeared here mysteriously."

"You see, your body is dead and your soul is waiting for a new journey."

"It's next" journey :sigh:

this is why I didn't bother keeping a gently caress up counter.

"But my feeling is that my body is quite alive."

Adam decides to switch from "whining" mode to "openly insult" mode.

"Are you staying n your knees for the whole day?"

Did no one even read the subtitles before shipping?

"I'm repenting for my sins, you should do that too."

"You are obsessed with the purgatory, aren't you?"

"Do you see the traces of fire from the apostles?"

"You mean those burned fetches on the ground?"

"They will decide if you should stay here or go there."

You can kinda see what they're talking about on the previous map with Yukiko, but you can never get a particularly good look at what they're talking about.

"Look..."

"You've still got a chance, so don't waste it."

Well that would explain the whole waking up from a firey hellstorm on a lovely island thing. At least we didn't get chucked downstairs immediately.

Adam vents his frustration by passive aggressively insulting Izmael in third person. You're just too cool Adam.

Oh man, you guys are going to love this.

So remember when I mentioned how long and arduous Next Life's item animations are? Well there are three common items you can find all over the island: Rocks, Sticks, and Arid Grass.

Each item source is infinite, and often you'll need more than one of each per section. You can carry up to five rocks, three sticks, and one arid grass. Sometimes a section will require more than this.

As a result, it took 35 seconds of unskippable animations to fill our vest with rocks, and you need to do this pretty much every chapter.

GAMEPLAY!

We also grab from an arid grass source on the screen. I'm not showing you where it is so you guys can understand just how loving invisible these sources are sometimes.

That's a deep-rear end squat there pal. Heels are coming up a bit though.

Let's see how we can passive aggressively insult this guy.

Adam has a weird tradition of switching up where he says he's from. They're always correct, but he varies on how specific he is.

"Hello, my name is Edwin and I'm Scottish."

Edwin's accent is kinda "Scrooge McDuck but slower", but honestly I can look past it because he's an alright dude. I'll take any silver lining I can get.

"Do you have an idea where are we?"

"Man, I would myself like to know. I shipwrecked close to southern Australia, but there are no volcanoes there."

"Shipwrecked?"

"I'm a yachtsman, I am at sea all the time, but I don't have a yacht here, and on top of that with no stars..."

"There are no stars here?"

"Man, I've seen none so far."

"Well then I guess you can't help with where we are..."

"Sure I do, the west is there, where the sun sets."

Edwin kinda jerks his thumb in a direction behind him, it's kinda hard to tell where exactly.

Edwin that's not how spines or arms work.

gently caress you Adam, he has his poo poo more together than you do.

If you enter an empty cabin, you just have to wait for Adam to slowly turn around and leave. You also can't tell what cabins have people in them. If you try to take the water or cookies, Adam will just say

"I am not a theif."

spelled just like that.

We also finish the trifecta of filling our vest with nature. Just to recap, inside Adam's vest is

A water bottle
Cookies
Five rocks
Three sticks
A pile of dry grass

If we were playing Kings Quest 6 we'd have a loving robot nightengale and a magic map by now.

A couple more obvious rock and stick points, and two more cabins. Both have people in them that we can insult.

Cabin 7 contains yet another shirtless man.

The faces

"Oh welcome, molodyec. My name is Boris Vasilyevitch and I am an oilman."

"Molodyec" (молодец) is apparently a russian phrase kind of like "buddy" that an older man would use for a younger man. It's also not pronounced that way. Boris is VERY proud of being an Oilman.

"Do you know where are we? I am from Prague..."

"I see, you're a Communist. You're one of us."

"No! That was over a long time ago."

"But Comrade Brezhnev sent our young boys in order to protect you..."

"Brezhnev, now I understand. All right then, see you next time."

:eng101:

I believe the incident Boris is referring to was the Prague Spring. In 1968 Alexander Dubček, the leader of Czechoslovakia, was trying to grant his people more rights regarding media and travel, as well as splitting the nation into the Czech Republic and the Slovak Republic. Leonid Brezhnev, the leader of the Soviet Union at the time, wasn't super cool with all this talk, and ended up invading Czechoslovakia in order to stop the reforms. They succeeded in occupying Czechoslovakia in a month, and ended up controlling the place until 1989, when the Soviet Union started making GBS threads out.

Then four years later Czechoslovakia finally managed to split in two.

Needless to say, Boris and Adam would have two very different viewpoints, considering Boris is clearly from the Soviet era, and only knew from Soviet propaganda what happened. Adam on the other hand would have had a history lesson of "Then the loving Soviets ruined everyone's fun for 40 years." It also makes sense that considering the devs are Czech, this is one of the very few times a plot point is competently made.

With that said, I only gleaned this from like 20 minutes of research, so let me know if I'm wrong about this. I'm Canadian, so we didn't touch on the cold war much during history class, except the part where we won the cold war via hockey. :canada:

Adam I can understand you being salty, but don't take it out on Boris. He's just an oilman.

"A silly Russian guy, what was he saying?"

Less than three feet away. We're almost 100% on insulting people in third person right to their faces.

In cabin number 8 is another person we can bug.

Her voice actress is refreshingly not racist like you'd expect, but... confusing? I've NEVER heard that accent before.

"Good day, my name is Adam Raichl and I come from Bohemia in Central Europe."

"God knows with all these statelets."

She very conspicuously says "Those countries" instead of "these statelets".

"My name is Dorothy, and I come from the big apple."

"You mean New York?"

"Got it chap."

:confused:

"Where are we?"

"Who knows, but they steal here more than in the Bronx. I lost all my jewels."

"You don't know where you are, but you seem fine."

What the gently caress does that mean, Adam.

"What should I do, start crying?"

"Well not exactly but..."

"I'm afraid they'll fire me. I'm a secretary in the Twin Towers and got three sons."

"The Twin Towers are gone..."

"Are you kidding? It was just a fire, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, just a joke, forget it."

"Stupid joke."

So hey, remember how Adam was in a car crash, Edwin was shipwrecked, and the german dude crashed his plane?

DOROTHY WAS WORKING DURING THE SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH ATTACKS.

CLASSY, FUTURE GAMES.

Adam decides not to make any pathetic one liners and just awkwardly leaves. There's one more section of the map with people to annoy.

Hey it's the German guy! Remember when he slapped the rear end of an underage girl? Thanks, Future Games!

"Hello, we've already seen each other, I'm Adam."

"Cheers, I'm Hermann."

There, now I can stop calling him "German Guy".

"Where are you from?"

"I'm German after my father, born in Switzerland"

...Is it?

"Yeah."

"And where d'ya come from?"

"From Prague."

"Jesus Christ, that's the Eastern bloc."

"Come on, we're in Europe for years."

"Sure, like Moscow is."

More communist chat. Watergate was in 1972, so Czechoslovakia was still USSR aligned by virtue of still being occupied by soviet forces :v:

"What are you doing?"

"Just killing time, that's why I'm throwing stones."

Hey we have a vest full of them, maybe we should join in!

"drat, there are fools here, they keep lying to themselves that the come from the future. One is a fanatic, another..."

"And what year do you think we have now?"

"So you must be crazy too!"

For once, Adam might be right.

The cabin on the right is empty, but the one on the left has the final new character!

Aww, she saw Adam coming in.

"Good day, my name is Adam Raichl and I come from Czechia."

"good for who knows whom. My name is Danica and I lived in Sarajevo, but none of that matters anymore."

"Do you know what that bell tower up there is?"

B E L L T O W E R

"Nobody knows, but we all fall mysteriously to sleep after the third ringing. So be careful to be at a safe place. You have your whole life ahead."

Danica is basically :smith:

personified, but wait what was that bit about falling asleep?

"Are you falling asleep?"

"You will fall into sleep too, you'll see."

"You're not well, I won't disturb you."

We then proceed to immediately disturb Danica.

"Do you feel okay?"

"I'm chased by nightmares."

"What kind of nightmares?"

"I was pulling my dead granddaghter from the ruins, it was horrible."

"But that was just a dream."

"I'm not so sure about that, boy."

"Just a bad dream, forget about it."

She just loving said she has nightma-- nevermind. Let's move on.

There's one more section we haven't explored.

I want to say there's an arid grass source here, but either way we're just moving on.

If you're eagle-eyed, you'll notice the boulder to the left that's kinda wedged in there. Unfortunately, being eagle eyed is probably a detriment for Next Life.

Rather than the boulder, you have to click on the rocks below it so Adam can have the idea of climbing up to the boulder before interacting with it.

And he climbs up every rock.

Very slowly.

It takes half a minute because Adam takes a tiny step, stands perfectly upright for a second, rotates slightly, and takes another tiny step.

Anyway, now you're here, so let's push this boulder out of the way.

So up in the top right you'll notice the green bar. This is your stamina. Yes you have stamina in Next Life.

It goes down for most things, including running, so the game punishes you for trying to get Adam to do anything in a timely manner. You can eat those cookies or drink the water to gain a bit of stamina, but naturally each item has ten uses, each use only increases your meter by a tiny bit, and each use has a long unskippable animation of Adam shoving things into his face. If you run out of stamina and food, and need stamina to perform an action to beat the game, you just can't do it. Gameplay.

Anyway, the rock is jammed I assume, since Adam really just lightly pushed it and immediately gave up. You might be thinking "Well there's clearly a log underneath it, just use that as a lever to push it out!"

"It won't work this way."

Joke's on you! The obvious answer is to:

Use a stone

On an arid grass

To create a fire

Then light the log on fire.

"Just like in the stone age."

gently caress you Adam.

"The fire's almost out."

Now naturally a dry, arid log would never be able to fuel a fire on it's own, so you need to add a stick to the fire. If you don't do this quick enough, you have to make the half-minute climb down and get another arid grass.

Then you wait for the log to burn up. I'm not joking. You can even control Adam while you wait, but you can't really do anything. This takes about a minute for the log to burn up.

Eventually, FINALLY, the log burns away, so we can finally move this fucker out of the way.

"It won't work this way."

Well okay, it's a big rock, but NOW we can use a stick as a lever, right?

"I can't move it by myself."

The best part about this is you HAVE to do all this to continue. The game REQUIRES you to spend twenty minutes trying and failing to move a rock. Otherwise it'll never trigger the next flag, and you'll just wander around forever.

The game requiring you to fail is kind of an accidental theme.

We're actually done with that rock for now. :sigh:

You may notice another person is here, let's see what they've got to say.

Comrade Boris! You need to be a pretty strong guy to be an oilman, he can help us out!

"Would you help me to roll the stone away so that I can get to the bell tower?"

"Why are you going to the bell tower? Capitalist leftovers!"

"But..."

"All churches should be demolished and prison's built instead."

Huh, I wonder if the Czech devs are somewhat salty about communism for some reason.

"Bigots should be kept in there, that's what the oilman thinks!"

"Fine, but would you help me?"

"Molodyec, don't bother an oilman with stones."

"It's a real experience talking with him. What will he talk about next? Battleship Potemkin?"

quote:

Battleship Potemkin (Russian: Броненосец �Потёмкин�, Bronenosets Potyomkin), sometimes rendered as Battleship Potyomkin, is a 1925 silent film directed by Sergei Eisenstein and produced by Mosfilm. It presents a dramatized version of the mutiny that occurred in 1905 when the crew of the Russian battleship Potemkin rebelled against their officers of the Tsarist regime.

...Sure

Over on the next map, we see the lady that Adam annoyed walking into Dorothy's hut. Let's barge in uninvited!

We can talk to either person, but let's start with Dorothy.

"Is the girl dumb or she does she just not understand?"

Great loving proofreading god dammit guys.

"I don't know, we call her Yukiko. She fell in love with an Australian, who was in number three before you. He disappeared yesterday."

Well that explains why she was creeping on Adam when he woke up.

"Disappeared?"

"You'll see things happening here, just you wait."

"Do you have an idea what is up there, by the bell tower?"

B E L L T O W E R

"You won't find anything there, the tower is locked. This is a tiny island. Lost in a big sea, very depressing."

"And what about the big island with the volcano I can see in the distance?"

The only screen you can see it on is the one right after Adam leaves his house, and his fat rear end is blocking most of it.

"Exactly, God help us if it explodes. The ground shakes all the time here."

Talking to Yukiko only nets us the same options as before, so let's just leave.

Oh this'll be good.

"Would you help me to roll that stone away so that I can get up there?"

"Which stone do you mean?"

"Here, by the corner, in the gap."

"Not now, I'm waiting for them to pick me up, I'm sure they already found the plane."

"Which plane?"

"My plane you fool."

The game tries to make Hermann out to sound like an rear end in a top hat, but most of his interactions with Adam seem appropriate.

"I couldn't know..."

"I don't know what miracle helped me to survive but now I'm waiting here."

"All right, so keep waiting."

Adam doesn't know the game is called Next Life, so I don't really get why he's so skeptical about a plane looking for the downed pilot. Then again I'm normal.

There are a couple large people on the island who could help us move the rock, the most likely I'd say is Edwin. He seems to hate us the least, anyway. The game realizes this, and moves Edwin.

So hey, if you were like "LET'S ASK DANICA TO MOVE THE ROCK!", you were on the right track and also get the gently caress out of my thread.

Let's talk to Danica first. She could use a cheering up.

"You are nice, but the only thing that can help me is death."

Well this might be beyond Adam's ability.

"Stop that please..."

"Leave me alone please."

Well that was fun. How about you, Edwin?

I love Edwin's "Aw gently caress he noticed me" look.

"Hey man, I noticed yesterday that it fell in there after an earthquake and that it fit quite tightly..."

"Do you think we can manage it?"

"If you pry the log out we may succeed. It makes no sense without that."

Good work Adam, he probably thinks you're a maniac now. Rightfully so.

"Now we might roll the stone out of the way, it's moving."

"Well OK but in a while alright?"

"Why?"

WHO CARES ABOUT THE LADY WHO CLEARLY EXPRESSED SUICIDAL IDEALIZATION WE HAVE ROCKS TO PUSH! gently caress you Adam.

I kind of want Edwin's response to just be this.

"Danica is terribly depressed right now so I'm watching her..."

"Got it."

"Wait for me by the gap, I will come soon."

"All right."

There. Finally we can accomplish something. I've taken almost 300 screenshots including images to transcribe text from, and we haven't actually accomplished a single loving thing.

When we step outside we hear a clock tower bell. I can't believe you actually thought we'd get something done.

You can wander around a bit more, but honestly you're just waiting for the bell to ring a second time.

Eventually the third bell finally rings, and Adam falls asleep immediately! We're treated to a black screen and a hissing static noise. Maybe something will finally happen now?

Someone stole all of our rocks and sticks?

"What's gonna happen? Are we gonna wake up in our cabins or..."

UPDATE 1 - STATS

PEOPLE INSULTED:

Yukiko
Izmael
Edwin
Boris
Hermann
Danica
Boris again

BELLTOWER STATUS:
Unplundered

THINGS ACCOMPLISHED THIS UPDATE:

Danaru fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Aug 8, 2015

# ? Aug 8, 2015 23:09

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

Oh Dan no.

no dan

dan no :ohdear:

# ? Aug 8, 2015 23:19

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

You might even call Adam a bit of a reprobate

# ? Aug 9, 2015 00:24

mycot: Oct 23, 2014; "It's okay. There are other Terminators! Just give us this one!"; Hell Gem

This has already hit the ground running. I'm watching this one.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 00:58

Accordion Man: Nov 7, 2012; Buglord

I like how Adam's giving the religious guy poo poo for believing that they're in the afterlife when its pretty clear that everybody here is dead and from different time periods.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 01:05

Nidoking: Jan 27, 2009; I fought the lava, and the lava won.

Wait... do you really have to burn the log BEFORE Edwin will tell you to do it? It really seems like the sort of thing that, in a decent game, he'd tell you to do if you just tried to move the rock and failed, and then you'd go do it and report back to him that you did it and just have to deal with all the backtracking.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 01:12

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

SSNeoman posted:

Oh Dan no.

no dan

dan no

This is the sort of post I love to see at the beginning of an LP.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 01:17

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Nidoking posted:

Wait... do you really have to burn the log BEFORE Edwin will tell you to do it? It really seems like the sort of thing that, in a decent game, he'd tell you to do if you just tried to move the rock and failed, and then you'd go do it and report back to him that you did it and just have to deal with all the backtracking.

I think the trigger is actually trying to pull out the log by hand, which moves Edwin and Boris to their new spots and lines.

Also to give the game a little credit, if you don't torch the log, Boris will have a line about trying to find something to smoke, which I guess is a hint to the stone + grass = fire thing? I only said a little credit.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 01:21

Dr Pepper: Feb 4, 2012; Don't like it? well...

Well this is amazingly awful.

Eagerly awaiting more.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 02:39

Picayune: Feb 26, 2007; cannot be unseen; Taco Defender

I kinda like the variety in the faces? I mean, they're not the best videogame faces ever, but the characters do look like individuals, more or less.

On the other hand, I pretty much hate everything else! Awesome! I'll be following this.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 05:16

AlphaKretin: Dec 25, 2014; A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

I do love a good trainwreck :magical:

Interested to see where this ends up

# ? Aug 9, 2015 05:30

Major_JF: Oct 17, 2008

Oh lord, this one again. Will this version of the LP feature the cuddly red pandas?

# ? Aug 9, 2015 07:45

Ghostwoods: May 9, 2013; Say "Cheese!"

Oh my God. It's... beautiful. Just like Honey Boo Boo.

For the record, yes, Prague does have quite a lot of crumbly old towers on random residential street corners, as well as some separated shack-garages (quite common in the semi-suburbia villages just outside official Prague) and one-lane feeder roads for some of what are effectively residential closes.

The one-laners usually have passing places built in here or there, so if you get a car coming in the other direction, the person who is nearer to a passing place (or less stubborn) reverses, or, when plausible, you both drive up on the kerb a bit. (We have one-lane roads in the rural UK a lot, too.)

I lived in Prague for several years. It's a truly beautiful, magical city with a good atmosphere and a fun night-life. If you ever get the chance for a visit, grab it. (Gets bloody cold and dark in January and February, though.)

# ? Aug 9, 2015 11:37

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Calling Adam a reprobate was clever because this game was also released under the title of Reprobates, get it

# ? Aug 9, 2015 11:40

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

corn in the bible posted:

Calling Adam a reprobate was clever because this game was also released under the title of Reprobates, get it

A very fitting title considering the general likeability of the cast.

Ghostwoods posted:

For the record, yes, Prague does have quite a lot of crumbly old towers on random residential street corners, as well as some separated shack-garages (quite common in the semi-suburbia villages just outside official Prague) and one-lane feeder roads for some of what are effectively residential closes.

The one-laners usually have passing places built in here or there, so if you get a car coming in the other direction, the person who is nearer to a passing place (or less stubborn) reverses, or, when plausible, you both drive up on the kerb a bit. (We have one-lane roads in the rural UK a lot, too.)

I lived in Prague for several years. It's a truly beautiful, magical city with a good atmosphere and a fun night-life. If you ever get the chance for a visit, grab it. (Gets bloody cold and dark in January and February, though.)

Huh, neat. Prague is one of the few places I'd like to visit some day, I won't hold this game against them :v:

# ? Aug 9, 2015 12:31

Junpei Hyde: Mar 15, 2013

This game seems... interesting.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 13:09

eating only apples: Dec 12, 2009; Shall we dance?

Love the look of this, will be following!

# ? Aug 9, 2015 14:10

Ghostwoods: May 9, 2013; Say "Cheese!"

Danaru posted:

Prague is one of the few places I'd like to visit some day, I won't hold this game against them

It's absolutely worth it

Although I should warn you that I dimly remember an LP of an insane Czech faux-medieval adventure game where everyone is drowned in despair and you have to take beer to the devil. So... they have form, is what I'm saying.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 20:52

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

This might be the most impressively bizarre game to ever come out of the Czech Republic.

Rather narrow superlative, but...

# ? Aug 9, 2015 20:56

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Ghostwoods posted:

It's absolutely worth it Although I should warn you that I dimly remember an LP of an insane Czech faux-medieval adventure game where everyone is drowned in despair and you have to take beer to the devil. So... they have form, is what I'm saying.

Legie. It's short and worth a read.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 21:03

No Gravitas: Jun 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

ultrafilter posted:

Legie. It's short and worth a read.

Oh, that thing. So glorious!

This one is shaping up to be something special as well.

# ? Aug 9, 2015 21:48

Ghostwoods: May 9, 2013; Say "Cheese!"

ultrafilter posted:

Legie. It's short and worth a read.

That's it!

Well worth an hour or two of ~WTF~ of anyone's time!

# ? Aug 9, 2015 23:13

Shoeless: Sep 2, 2011

Dear Danaru,

Please stop mentally flagellating yourself. But also, keep doing that.

-A friend

# ? Aug 10, 2015 12:19

Rosemont: Nov 4, 2009

This game already looks insane and ridiculous and I can't wait to see more. :allears:

I also dimly recall your previous LP of it, now that I think about it.

# ? Aug 12, 2015 19:09

ditty bout my clitty: May 28, 2011; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Danaru posted:

DOROTHY WAS WORKING DURING THE SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH ATTACKS.

CLASSY, FUTURE GAMES.

Idgi, are you saying that she's jewish?

# ? Aug 12, 2015 20:47

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Ilustforponydeath posted:

Idgi, are you saying that she's jewish?

If she was Jewish she wouldn't have been working, duh.

# ? Aug 12, 2015 22:23

Pollyanna: Mar 5, 2005; Milk's on them.

So far nobody in this game is likeable. Also way too many middle aged Eastern European guys. :gonk:

# ? Aug 12, 2015 22:43

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Pollyanna posted:

So far nobody in this game is likeable. Also way too many middle aged Eastern European guys.

Hey, just like my extended family!

# ? Aug 13, 2015 03:06

ditty bout my clitty: May 28, 2011; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

chitoryu12 posted:

If she was Jewish she wouldn't have been working, duh.

Hence the "classy", I think.

# ? Aug 13, 2015 10:04

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Update 2 - Bohemian Crapsody :siren:

Well, here we are again. :sigh:

Let's grab our cookies and water and get out of here.

It's raining today, so no luck on getting Edwin to check out the stars. A lady in a red jacket bolts out of cabin 4.

Then awkwardly meanders back and leans on the doorframe. A good start, but you've got a ways to go if you want to be as weird as the other islanders.

MORE IMPORTANTLY AW YEAH ROCKS GET IN MY VEST YOU SAUCY BASTARDS

She's clearly unimpressed by the bohemian man sprinting out of his cabin and onto a pile of rocks, so let's actually talk to her.

"Hello I'm Adam."

"Maria, Ciao."

If Hermann learned his accent from Wolfenstein, Maria learned her accent from Mario. It's not good.

"Where are you from?"

Maria hand-talks like a madwoman, which I can't tell if it's the animations being weird or Maria just being Italian. I'm dating someone from an Italian family, and I've gotten clipped a couple times when I got too close during an explanation.

"...but it seems things got out of control."

"Don't you find it strange being suddenly here?"

"I think it's a joke with candid camera."

"Unfortunately not..."

"Don't you play these games, I hope you'll return my things back to me."

"I see that you're quiet..."

...I have no loving idea what this means. It almost sounds like he's trying to be sassy, but the line is delivered completely straight.

"Look, this must have cost a hell lot of money and I always like to travel free of charge."

"You're great..."

"I'm in for every fun."

"But..."

"But really great, from the Madrid train right to the beach... Look now I got it. So what are we waiting for?"

Just want to remind everyone I'm transcribing these subtitles exactly as they're written. Also that was seriously the end of that conversation. let's just move on.

Oh good, Izmael's pasty bare white chest. At least Edwin did some situps once in a while.

"Why are you bathing in the sea?"

"Why are you asking brother?"

Riveting conversation, guys.

"Salt water is nothing special for washing."

"It is God's tears..."

"And it's cold..."

"I'm washing off my sins, but it is nothing compared to the suffering of Jesus."

"I see..."

I uh, don't think 'washing off your sins' is meant to be taken this literally, Izmael.

The shiny wet effect is actually kind of impressive for 2007, but why would you use it on THAT?

It's kind of dark, but Hermann is hanging out in his doorway. Yes this game is "talk to everyone repeatedly forever", thank you for asking.

"loving weather, they won't see me from the plane if the weather is like this."

"Your nose is filthy."

WHAT??

"Stop loving me about!"

"And who else fucks you about?"

"Everybody, you're a bank of fools, what are you playing at?"

"And what if things are different than they look?"

"How do you mean by different? I'm not a fool!"

So you might find it a bit out of place that these two suddenly dropped three F-bombs in a ten second span, the thing is, they totally didn't. Hermann says "Stop messing about!" and Adam says "Who else is messing about?". They still don't make a lot of sense together, but it's less jarring.

One thing you might notice is that the perspective has changed a bit.This is the same beach from yesterday we're standing on. They're going for a disorienting effect I think, which works well, but also just makes this even more of a slog to get through because the hotspots to move around are very specific.

STIIIIIIIIIICKS

Since it's raining, there's no arid grass anywhere. This sounds like one less thing to collect, but...

Anyway, we're nearby, so let's see if Danica slept any better.

I'm... gonna assume no.

"Are you feeling better tonight?"

"I won't be better, Adam."

:smith:

As much as I poo poo on the voice actors, Danica's really does do a good job of conveying the mood.

"Well, the weather is depressing, but it won't be like that forever."

"It won't get any better inside anyway."

"We, it can't get any worse..."

"It can, Adam, it can."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's not your fault."

Hey it's Dorothy! Maybe she can lighten the mood.

"Quite a day, isn't it?"

"It's nasty alright."

"So why are you running outside if you don't like the rain then?"

I love that Dorothy never feels afraid to call Adam out.

"I won't be like sheep. I have to do something."

"Good Lord, there were so many life you here and they've accomplished nothing."

"Have you been here for a long time?"

"Two days before you arrived, but I've heard about older ones who disappeared..."

If you'll remember, when we asked about Yukiko, she mentioned an Australian dude who disappeared, and was in the cabin we were in.

"That sounds like a bad horror movie."

Or a bad horror game :smuggo:

"It looks like one too."

:smuggo:

Dorothy has my back.

Edwin... doesn't look so hot. Come on dude we have a BELLTOWER to besiege!

"Will you help me with that stone today?"

"I'm sorry, I feel terrible."

"Head or stomach?"

"Man, I had a terrible dream, a nightmare."

"Well if it was just a dream..."

"Danica told me that everyone's turn comes after the second night."

"That's gossip..."

"That's what I thought as well."

Adam doesn't give a poo poo about you unless you're helping him, so that's the end of that conversation.

Oh good let's continue to bug Yukiko

"How are you?"

Adam's speech is almost always in white text, but for some reason this line of his is green. Yukiko's facial expression is the perfect mix of "are you serious?" and "Yeah, I know the drill."

Also:

quote:

The term pro forma (Latin for "as a matter of form" or "for the sake of form") is most often used to describe a practice or document that is provided as a courtesy and/or satisfies minimum requirements, conforms to a norm or doctrine, tends to be performed perfunctorily and/or is considered a formality.

I think Adam realizes he's in an adventure game.

Well Edwin's out, so let's see if Boris changed his tune.

Classy, Future Games.

GOD JESUS THAT IS NOT THE FACIAL EXPRESSION YOU SHOULD HAVE

"Oh molodyec, never mind, the oilman is used to it."

Well, that makes sense. Quality dump time would be at a premium when you're working on an oil derrick.

"It's a silly situation."

"I've had to go in the grass more often than in a bowl."

Alright well, maybe things are different in soviet Russia.

"I apologize."

"And the whole village was watching me."

WHY?

You know what, gently caress this. Let's just go see if we can mash Adam into the rock enough times for it to fall loose.

Oh hey! Hermann's already here trying to jimmy it loose! He's continuing to try after a single attempt so he's better at it than Adam.

Adam daintily steps on every rock as usual, and uses a stick on the rock, like Hermann is doing.

Which... causes him to push the rock without a stick.

But hey! The rock clipped through the ground and disappeared!

If you click the rock without a stick, Adam just shakes his head and whines. You have to click on the rock with a stick in order to make Adam not use a stick. Maybe the stick gives him hope.

Well here we are! There's like nine different screens up here and only three of them are of any use. Whoo.

You know drat well what our first stop is.

RENDER UNTO BELLTOWER.

Adam that's not how you open--

ADAM COME ON

The actual reason for us not being able to go in is the very hard to see padlock here. No, sadly we can't just smash it

Adam attempts to give the lock a nice back rub, but unfortunately the lock just won't open.

"The door is probably locked."

gently caress you, Adam.

"It might be possible to unlock it with a piece of wire, but where do I get one?"

If you don't notice and massage the padlock, you will never trip this flag and wander around the seven useless screens forever.

Speaking of useless screens, Hermann just stands here forever and Adam refuses to talk to him.

Also there's a beach. I'm not showing any of the other useless screens because they're boring.

This screen, however has something interesting.

A crack in the cliff!

"This could be useful later."

It can! In fact, Adam gets a strange urge coming over him.

We combine a stick and a rock

To create... a stick and a rock.

Then Adam hammers the stick into the crack.

And now the stick is stuck! And that's all we can do with that for now.

Hey, Dorothy moved, that usually means we have to talk to her.

I love the amount of times people look disgusted at the prospect of talking to Adam.

"Young man my pockets are empty the same way yours are."

"I just..."

"But I saw Yukiko running by with some wire in her hand."

"That might work, thanks."

"You're welcome."

Aww :unsmith:

You're one of like, three characters I don't hate, Dorothy.

"I fell asleep so early yesterday, and someone put me in a bed."

"Yeah, that's how it works here."

"I don't understand..."

"The third ring hypnotizes us and they put us in our beds."

"Who are they?"

"For goodness sake, nobody knows that!"

So far our theories are:

-Izmael thinks God put them here.
-Hermann thinks the ocean put them here and nothing spooky is going on despite people disappearing and poo poo.
-Maria thinks Adam put them here
-Boris thinks the Bourgeois put them here, probably.

Brainpower isn't at a premium right now.

"You expect me to believe that?"

gently caress you, Adam. If she or anyone else knew what was going on this would be a much shorter game.

"Investigate yourself my dear. And don't make that face."

"It seems like the salt water help your legs?"

...uh?

"You're right, they get sore sometimes."

"You seem a bit sad today."

"Just thinking about what my boys are doing at home. I miss them a lot..."

"I can imagine."

"I'm here alone and they're all alone without me..."

"I didn't mean to upset you."

...

You may remember Adam and Izmael talking about "burnt fetches". This is what they were talking about. You can have Adam investigate...

...And he bestows this on you. He also walks in front of Yukiko so you can't click on her without moving Adam first.

Yukiko seems to get angrier as the game goes on. I don't blame her.

"Look at my hands."

We have established so many times that she can hear you, you condescending rear end in a top hat. She's mute, not stupid.

And no, she's not just reading lips. She's reacted to hearing Adam talk without her looking at him. She can hear.

I have no idea what that facial expression is. It's hard to see but she IS holding a metal piece

"Thanks, and where did you find it?"

Yukiko points off to the left, which could be anywhere really.

Look, there's no time for looking at it, we can FINALLY get into the belltower.

All kinds of screen transitions later, we're finally here! Let's get this poo poo open!

I honestly won't even complain about Adam picking a padlock with a piece of wire, as long as it works.

"There... It should open now."

We're finally going to get some answers, guys. Let's see what's...

adam

"I can't move it by myself."

Oh my god Adam.

Despite what he says, the answer is to use a stick on the door.

We're this close, and the game knows it, so it's pulling the biggest dick move yet. Using the stick didn't work, so naturally the answer is

To use a stick on the door again.

If you're a sane person, you'd think "this side" meant this side of the door, as in it's blocked from the inside, but nope. gently caress you, Adam.

YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING TO WARRANT A THUMBS UP YOU WASTE OF CARBON GET IN THE GOD drat BELL TOWER.

NO IT COULDN'T

...

...

...the bell tower's empty.

It got worse.

Adam stuffs an entire box of cookies into his mouth out of sheer disappointment.

You can examine the rock on the string there, but Adam just says

"It's too high."

and you can't do anything with it.

There's also a shrub here.

"What's happening here? The bush is completely dry, I could set it on fire, but what should I use?"

WHY?

"Mhmm Boris was gathering some leaves yesterday, maybe he hid them somewhere."

Look at that thousand yard stare. That is a man in the midst of an intestinal cataclysm.

"Yes I do, and I've hidden it too! I've got some dry grass hidden in a good spot."

"Can I have some?"

"Look at you, a capitalist, take it easy, Quid pro quo."

"And what would you..."

"You call it free market, don't you?"

"Yes, what do you need?"

"Bring me some leafs from the northern cliff. They'll be nice and hot for smoking."

"And how do I get there?"

"The best you can."

I generally hate the writing in this, but I actually do like that line

Maria is hanging out with Dorothy, while Dorothy is smacking the floor with her shoe. Alright.

"What are you doing?"

"Beetles crawl in here when it rains and I hate them."

"They need to live too."

REMEMBER THIS LINE.

"I hate these creeps. Our house was full of them when I was a kid."

"I see..."

"God forgive me but I can't live with them."

Let's switch it up and talk to Maria.

"So now you know it's not a joke?"

"Look let's leave it at that. Look, you play it quite well, but I'm really curious for how long will you be playing."

"We're not playing..."

"Yeah, I'm completely yellow-bellied."

I don't know what that means, but we actually can't progress from here. I might seem hard on the bullshit you need to do to trip certain flags, but...

We can't do anything until we actually LOOK at the leaves Boris mentioned.

"It will be difficult to get there."

Now that we've gotten that phenominal line, we can continue!

This is what passes for an idea in the nightmare that is Adam's mind.

"Are you a transvestite or what?"

Classy.

"Ha ha, I need them for something else."

"You can take them, they are in the jacket in cabin No. 4."

"Thanks, I..."

"Well if the nutter lets you in."

"What nutter?"

"The beaver, he's a good-looker."

"I see..."

She means Izmael, and no he isn't.

Like she said, Izmael is blocking her door. Let's see what his problem is.

"Have you seen the fallen woman who lives here?"

"You mean Maria?"

"Oh my God, she has the name of the supreme saint!"

Dude you just took the lord's name in vain while in purgatory. That's not going to help your case.

"I just need to get to her jacket..."

"No I have to purify this profane place."

"Come on, don't be silly..."

"You're all reprobates!"

Title drop! Kinda, this game is called Reprobates as well. I dunno.

"You must be crazy..."

"Get lost you wretched person!"

Well Izmael won't let us in, so we'll have to convince him.

First we'll use a stick...

On Izmael...

And loving MURDER HIM.

You might think I'm joking, but I'll spoil it. We never interact with Izmael again. Adam seriously just murdered a dude to get a pair of stockings.

This is the guy who poo poo on Dorothy for killing beetles.

gently caress you, Adam.

THERE WERE MANY OTHER OPTIONS YOU MANIAC.

Let's just get the drat stockings and leave.

By the way, if we click on Maria's cookies or water...

You're the WORST, Adam.

In any case, we... god loving dammit.

Do I even need to say anything about this puzzle. What the hell are those stockings MADE of?

We've got the drat leaves, so let's head back to Boris to get the grass so we can light the bush on fire to... I don't know. Adam's a pyromaniac as well as a murderer I guess.

What do you think it is, Adam.

"Where did Boris disappear? I have to find him."

Just as a bonus middle finger, they move Boris.

Just checking on Izmael as we go by. Still dead.

Boris is in Cabin 9, although nothing tells you this. You just have to check every cabin.

"Do you think you could withstand such a stink?"

I just want to stop talking about this man's bodily functions :saddowns:

that's all I want.

"I'm sure I couldn't."

"You see, my stink doesn't bother me that much. but who can say what's too much...?"

"You're right."

"You're a moma's boy."

"Here are your leaves."

"Smart molodyec, they smell nice..."

"Will you give me the grass?"

Just to be clear, his "good spot" for hiding was his pocket.

"Thank you."

"Thank you too."

Maria is looking forlornly up the cliff. There's nothing up there except your stockings on a stick. Don't ask.

"Do you want to have a look up there?"

"Maybe later, it's slippery and in these shoes..."

"I will take you out there!"

"Look you broad-shouldered man, don't boast, we'll both fall to our mouth."

Adam can't push a rock, but he can suspend himself from a pair of stockings one handed. I don't even know anymore. Maybe his bones are full of helium?

Although I do like that Maria is making GBS threads on him for being a weakling :v:

"I just wanted to help..."

Sarcastic thumbs up! You're slowly becoming alright, Maria.

Alright let's light this poo poo up, finally.

This time the game sees fit to fade out and back in, instead of forcing us to watch it burn. We also don't need to add a stick.

A loose stone? Maybe there's something under it?

Of course Adam can't just pick it up. Let's try using a stick to jimmy it out. God forbid we ever have a puzzle where we don't need a rock or a stick.

"They don't fit."

Of course they don't. And guess what! THE BELL TOWER IS RINGING. WE'VE COMPLETED THE CHAPTER.

I didn't grab a picture because honestly I got up and walked away from the computer when I heard the bell ring, but if you go outside, you can see Izmael behind the tower praying, but Adam doesn't acknowledge him, and there's no ground where he's standing, so he has to be floating. :confused:

A ghost? Can you even die in purgatory?

We get treated to another black screen with static, and once again wake up in our room with our inventory missing.

Or... wait, this looks new.

This... Looks... What?

WHAT?!

UPDATE 2 - STATS :siren:

PEOPLE MURDERED BY ADAM RAICHL:

Izmael

BELLTOWER STATUS:

Disappointing

THINGS ACCOMPLISHED THIS UPDATE:

-Unlocked the bell tower
-Killed a religious guy
-Set bell tower on fire

# ? Aug 14, 2015 01:17

Picayune: Feb 26, 2007; cannot be unseen; Taco Defender

Man. This update just kinda bounced off my head like so many thrown rocks. :allears:

# ? Aug 14, 2015 01:27

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

ultrafilter posted:

Legie. It's short and worth a read.

I'm glad people remember what is still my proudest LP moment.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 02:21

SystemLogoff: Feb 19, 2011; End Session?

I feel like I'm reading something that started off trying to make fun of adventure games and got all serious at the end.

This game is strange.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 02:39

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

SystemLogoff posted:

I feel like I'm reading something that started off trying to make fun of adventure games and got all serious at the end.

This game is strange.

Apparently it's a problem with most of the adventure games the devs made. I'm sure it sounds better in the original language, but the mechanics are consistently awful. Even Black Mirror, the game widely considered their best, still had bad English VA and pixelhunting.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 03:01

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

SSNeoman posted:

Apparently it's a problem with most of the adventure games the devs made. I'm sure it sounds better in the original language, but the mechanics are consistently awful. Even Black Mirror, the game widely considered their best, still had bad English VA and pixelhunting.

Ironically, the cash-grab sequels to Black Mirror made by another company entirely are also a hell of a lot better than the first game.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 03:43

Seyser Koze: Dec 15, 2013; Mucho Mucho; Nap Ghost

With Limbo of the Lost you could at least believe that it was something the devs thought was really cool when they came up with the idea in middle school, but then never bothered to revise or even re-read afterward.

But this... I just can't imagine why anybody would want to make this game.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 04:41

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

I like Dorothy, she seems reasonable, intelligent, and actually sympathetic.

# ? Aug 14, 2015 04:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 5, 2024 19:24

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Seyser Koze posted:

With Limbo of the Lost you could at least believe that it was something the devs thought was really cool when they came up with the idea in middle school, but then never bothered to revise or even re-read afterward.

Never bothered to re-read in ten years.
http://lotl.wikia.com/wiki/Amiga_Prototype

# ? Aug 14, 2015 05:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Bohemian Asshole Simulator - Let's Play Next Life!

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