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i ordered two lbs of turnips like i always do, which usually equals 4 turnips. but when my groceries arrived today, this is what i found: one gigantic, 2 lb turnip things that this turnip is bigger than:  a nectarine  a large pin cushion  10 american dollars, in quarters things that this turnip is not bigger than:  a cool dinosaur who can breathe fire what am i supposed to do with this big ol turnip |
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Aug 12, 2015 17:55
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| # ? May 16, 2024 18:35 |
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worship it
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Aug 12, 2015 17:55
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eat half of it today, half of whats left tommorrow, and repeat every day for the rest of your life 
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Aug 12, 2015 17:59
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https://vine.co/v/OqJKZVQami9
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Aug 12, 2015 18:00
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i recently learned that there is suvch a thing as a professional viner
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Aug 12, 2015 18:02
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other things smaller than that turnip: one million ants a brick slightly bigger brick a fancy meal at a nice restaurant the hope sand dreams of a nation ---------------- |
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Aug 12, 2015 18:04
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put the turnip in your face.
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Aug 12, 2015 18:05
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take a slice from the middle and play it on a gramophone
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Aug 12, 2015 18:06
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thank u bacalou
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make a bong out of it
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Aug 12, 2015 18:07
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shark tries to bite into turnip, can't, the shape of its mouth can't grasp its roundness
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Aug 12, 2015 18:07
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Cook a turnip based meal while listening to the radio
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Aug 12, 2015 18:07
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Qwerinty posted:shark tries to bite into turnip, can't, the shape of its mouth can't grasp its roundness
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Aug 12, 2015 18:09
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treasure bear posted:worship it 
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Aug 12, 2015 18:22
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sell it to tom nook for a lot of bells
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Aug 12, 2015 18:37
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bacalou posted:sell it to tom nook for a lot of bells I refuse to support monopolies you better believe I have some strong words for turnip Joan though
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Aug 12, 2015 18:42
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Turnip team |
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Aug 12, 2015 18:46
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Qwerinty posted:other things smaller than that turnip: and Monday. https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 12, 2015 18:50
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Perfect. |
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Aug 12, 2015 18:56
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enter it into a contest for a blue ribbon |
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Aug 12, 2015 18:58
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XyloJW posted:enter it into a contest for a blue ribbon ok I was seriously considering this, but my only reservation is I'm a really bad liar. what if they saw through my base canard and expelled me from the county fair. what if they barred me for life? it's pretty much turnip plagiarism, what we're talking about here
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Aug 12, 2015 19:03
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also now that I'm worshipping the turnip I don't know if it would want to go to the fair, or how I would find out
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Aug 12, 2015 19:05
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what j need is, a turnip oracle
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Aug 12, 2015 19:06
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wait I'm not clear, did you buy this turnip or did you rent it in some limited intellectual property rights capacity? |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:08
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turnip case law is pretty clear on this |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:09
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no one can, like, own a turnip man. |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:10
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Lil Cunty posted:what j need is, a turnip oracle flip the turnip. if it lands with the flat end pointing up, don't go ~sig~ |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:10
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~*
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That turnips been scalped... not fair material anymore. It's touring days are over. |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:10
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you have to grow your own turnips to win the turnip prize at the fair. you just can't submit any dang turnip you come across. otherwise what would prevent turnip rustlers from stealing all the prize turnips the night before the turnip show and making off with the turnip winnings the next day have you ever even been to a fair
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Aug 12, 2015 19:14
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i keep a really big mushroom as a houseplant so that i can eat from it until i'm full while other parts grow back. there's too much to eat in one sitting and i'm set for life
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Aug 12, 2015 19:15
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Yonkers posted:i keep a really big mushroom as a houseplant so that i can eat from it until i'm full while other parts grow back. there's too much to eat in one sitting and i'm set for life |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:19
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while I have never personally been to a fair--we only have rodeos here--my close personal friend Lance Armstrong assures me you're totally wrong about fairs |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:23
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indiana jones running away from a turnip
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Aug 12, 2015 19:23
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Lil Cunty posted:ok I was seriously considering this, but my only reservation is I'm a really bad liar. what if they saw through my base canard and expelled me from the county fair. what if they barred me for life? it's pretty much turnip plagiarism, what we're talking about here don't do it, they can use your posts against you in a court of law. lil cunty is not a username that wins cases ---------------- |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:24
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its not as big as a boulder so youd think it wouldnt be dangerous but its still a lot bigger than a normal turnip so you should keep your distance just to be safe
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Aug 12, 2015 19:24
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go on vocaroo and record your best admiral ackbar saying 'its a turnip' |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:25
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TWIST FIST posted:its not as big as a boulder so youd think it wouldnt be dangerous but its still a lot bigger than a normal turnip so you should keep your distance just to be safe ---------------- |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:27
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TWIST FIST posted:indiana jones running away from a turnip A turnip rustler swiping a turnip off a shrine using a bag of weights. |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:28
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Aug 12, 2015 19:41
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https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:43
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| # ? May 16, 2024 18:35 |
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Well if the turnip rustlers didn't have it in their sights now, this is basically a guarantee. |
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Aug 12, 2015 19:44
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