Possibly dumb question: why not magnetize football helmets?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Possibly dumb question: why not magnetize football helmets?

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African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Give offensive helmets polarized magnetization with defensive helmets. bam! no more helmet to helmet collisions.

Thoughts?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:20

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# ? May 6, 2024 08:57

shiksa: Nov 9, 2009; i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

brandon meriweather would be weaponized against his own team

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:22

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

shiksa posted:

brandon meriweather would be weaponized against his own team

I can't believe this junk rear end is still in the league

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:24

a helpful bear: Aug 18, 2004; Slippery Tilde

And magnetize the field on a circuit so when they fight just pop it on and off until they promise not to fight

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:24

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

http://www.google.com/patents/US20140259308

Looks like this is actually gonna happen.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:26

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

Because Brian Cushing would switch the poles on half the rookie helmets and call them faggots as they lay bleeding, concussed and dying on the practice field, which is not the kind of thing the NFL needs in the press right now.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:31

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Maybe the whole field could vibrate to move the players around the field to reduce injuries caused by all that running around?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:33

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

FIRST TIME posted:

Maybe the whole field could vibrate to move the players around the field to reduce injuries caused by all that running around?

How could this possibly work? Lets be serious here

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:34

a helpful bear: Aug 18, 2004; Slippery Tilde

Put magnets in gloves and the ball and make the field thrice as long so there can be 200-yard passes.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:35

Big Ol Marsh Pussy: Jan 7, 2007

No, really, what if we put dresses on 'em

andy.....

# ? Sep 4, 2015 00:37

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

I look forward to the day the game is played by holograms.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:05

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Lets loving do it.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:06

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

.....I will allow this thread

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:07

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Intruder posted:

.....I will allow this thread

I thought of this years ago. The patent is a year old. I sat on a trillion dollar idea.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:08

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

Wouldn't one half of the helmet be one way and one would be the other?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:53

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

what if we ban AAC when the Seahawks lose the NFCCG to Green Bay

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:55

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

Also I'm fricken excited to have insanely powerful sets of magnets surrounding the heads of these dudes, it's gonna own

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:55

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

Parmesan Basil posted:

what if we ban AAC when the Seahawks lose the NFCCG to Green Bay

Then he would have been sweating it out for a bit last year but ultimately safe iirc

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:56

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Parody Threads posted:

Then he would have been sweating it out for a bit last year but ultimately safe iirc

He will be banned if they do not win the Super Bowl. They will not and his ban will be Just.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 01:58

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

Parmesan Basil posted:

He will be banned if they do not win the Super Bowl. They will not and his ban will be Just.

The Packers will never win another Superbowl, why would he ever agree to that?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 02:00

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

Intruder posted:

.....I will allow this thread

Hahaha Intruder who did you piss off to get a red text

# ? Sep 4, 2015 02:07

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Parmesan Basil posted:

He will be banned if they do not win the Super Bowl. They will not and his ban will be Just.

How about you peace out of this thread with your meta posting

# ? Sep 4, 2015 02:12

Dr. Despair: Nov 4, 2009; 39 perfect posts with each roll.

hey this is why you don't magnetize the poo poo out of everyone's helmets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC13_BkDieU

note: those magnets probably aren't strong enough to pull of what you're thinking about anyways, you'd need bigger more dangerous ones.

e. strong magnetic fields can also induce vertigo and nausea if you're moving in it, so imagine everyone throwing up and falling over before they're hand gets destroyed beyond repair as it gets crushed between two helmets.

Dr. Despair fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Sep 4, 2015

# ? Sep 4, 2015 03:21

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Intruder posted:

.....I will allow this thread

That is a wonderfully dumb text.

Now you can get a Wilfork Overalls avatar though.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 03:23

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

Chichevache posted:

That is a wonderfully dumb text.

Now you can get a Wilfork Overalls avatar though.

While keeping the text

# ? Sep 4, 2015 03:39

Sash!: Mar 16, 2001

What if they secretly developed computer generated imagery indistinguishable from reality and just simulated games, but never told anyone they weren't real

# ? Sep 4, 2015 03:47

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Sash! posted:

What if they secretly developed computer generated imagery indistinguishable from reality and just simulated games, but never told anyone they weren't real

GO PACK!
WOOOOOO!

# ? Sep 4, 2015 04:29

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

Mr. Despair posted:

e. strong magnetic fields can also induce vertigo and nausea if you're moving in it, so imagine everyone throwing up and falling over before they're hand gets destroyed beyond repair as it gets crushed between two helmets.

So magnets turn you into the Oakland Raiders?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 04:55

Dr. Despair: Nov 4, 2009; 39 perfect posts with each roll.

Frackie Robinson posted:

So magnets turn you into the Oakland Raiders?

yeah

# ? Sep 4, 2015 04:59

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Mr. Despair posted:

hey this is why you don't magnetize the poo poo out of everyone's helmets

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC13_BkDieU

note: those magnets probably aren't strong enough to pull of what you're thinking about anyways, you'd need bigger more dangerous ones.

e. strong magnetic fields can also induce vertigo and nausea if you're moving in it, so imagine everyone throwing up and falling over before they're hand gets destroyed beyond repair as it gets crushed between two helmets.

Uh, the magnets would be opposite. So they would push away from each other

# ? Sep 4, 2015 05:27

punched my v-card at camp: Sep 4, 2008; Broken and smokin' where the infrared deer plunge in the digital snake

Also wouldn't a magnet strong enough to stop the helmets from colliding have a real risk of moving necks the wrong way in the process?

# ? Sep 4, 2015 05:40

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

DinosaurEggSalad posted:

Also wouldn't a magnet strong enough to stop the helmets from colliding have a real risk of moving necks the wrong way in the process?

Put magnets in the shoulder pads to prevent this

# ? Sep 4, 2015 06:15

swickles: Aug 21, 2006; I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just some QB that I used to know

Thank god this didn't make it to the Smarthouse...

# ? Sep 4, 2015 06:21

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

Tom Brady suspended four games for putting magnets in game balls

# ? Sep 4, 2015 06:22

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

African AIDS cum posted:

How could this possibly work? Lets be serious here

Maybe some kind of scale model could be made as a demonstration. One that fits on say, a tabletop.

:edit: Oh poo poo just realized that I'm posting in an AAC thread.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 07:54

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

EL BROMANCE posted:

I look forward to the day the game is played by holograms.

Biggie Smalls hiking to Eazy E under center who hits Pac for the touchdown.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 07:59

TyroneGoldstein: Mar 30, 2005

Distended skull shape due to cancerous growth will be a factor in DVOA calculations.

# ? Sep 4, 2015 11:07

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

swickles posted:

Thank god this didn't make it to the Smarthouse...

this is exactly what they told Sir Isaac Newton when he theorized that the earth revolves around the sun

# ? Sep 4, 2015 13:15

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

African AIDS cum posted:

Put magnets in the shoulder pads to prevent this

This really made me laugh, gj

# ? Sep 4, 2015 13:26

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# ? May 6, 2024 08:57

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

make equipment less safe and force convicted felons to play

We're already halfway there

# ? Sep 4, 2015 13:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Possibly dumb question: why not magnetize football helmets?

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