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Hey BFC, I figured instead of having my routine bout of laying awake in bet trying not to have a panic attack, that I should probably write out a list of my problems and assets; it wasn't that much of a stretch to turn it into a post where I could get eyes on it and maybe get some advice that can help me I'm 27, high school educated, decently internet savvy but lacking in any degree or training, and over the last two years I've had my life turned upside down. Since I quit my last job (as a nobody at a gas station) in 2009, I've been taking care of my mother in the family house, just her and I. In March of last year, she passed away, and in the intervening time I was quickly relocated to a place I only kind of liked (and now strongly dislike), my dad moved to the far end of the state, remarried, was diagnosed with cancer and died in February this year. I wasn't exactly the most mentally sound person before all this happened, but now I'm just a walking ball of neuroses trying to learn how to really be an adult for the first time. My bank accounts are finally hitting their limit and if I'm not careful I might ruin the rest of my life if I handle this wrong, so I'd like some advice on how to...well. How to rebuild my life, I guess. ASSETS - I own the house I live in, and have for about a year and change. I currently have a single roommate that I charge rent. I also have another room that's currently empty that I can also charge rent for. I've been holding onto it for a specific person but they continue to not make any advances towards moving out, so I'm talking with my roommate about opening it up to our friends as a whole and then the open market if there aren't any takers. - I also own vehicle that, with about ~$500 worth of work, -should- run fine for a while. It's old but I have basically no wear and tear on the vehicle. - At some point, I have an amount of inheritance money coming in. I've been waiting for this hail mary for a while, but it's hit every legal snag it possibly could, and at this point there's no telling if/when it actually happens. More of a possible bonus than an actual asset, at this point. - I have an extremely cute dog. I can't derive any practicality out of this, I'm just listing it because I feel pretty terrible right now and I need the boost. PROBLEMS - I didn't realize it at the time, but even owning the house I live in, the place is a money pit. I conservatively estimate that it takes ~$1200 a month to keep the thing moving, and while some of that is going to property taxes that I don't have to pay until December (or February, if I want to throw the tax year to the wind), there's only so much I can delay some of this, and their are consequences for doing so. - I'm behind on some bills and I have more upcoming, including that car repair. Not catastrophically so, not yet, but to clear out all my debts would leave me with no money for food or car repair, so I have things like the electric bill still outstanding so I can eat. No credit or credit cards, so when I'm out of money, I'm truly out. - Outside of $300/month I get from a trust, I have no income. I haven't held a real job in over 6 years, and everything before that was fast-food level work so even if I remembered references they wouldn't exist anymore. I need a job, and this is particularly harrowing for me. I'd like to work at home because of some medical issues, but I can buckle down and head out into the world for employment if I have to. - Besides the normal amount of disrepair that occurs 6 months after you buy a place due to bandaid fixes giving out and regular wear and tear, roof damage, water damage and an increasingly destructive rat infestation have wrecked this place a bit. Again, not catastrophically, but those repairs on top of some other big items puts a hefty price on getting this place ready to sell again. - I eat out every night. Every. Night. I thought getting a roommate would make cooking for 2 easier, but his schedule and mine don't line up at all so shopping basically doesn't happen and we're terrible about doing things like cleaning dishes, so in the end our limited fridge space is taken up by takeout boxes and leftover food that has to be thrown away. This is a major, major deal in my eyes. - On a personal note, my physical and especially mental health is entirely in disrepair. I've been staring down the barrel of this for a while now, but I waited to the last minute because I felt like I simply couldn't handle it before now. I still don't, but now I really don't really have a choice if I don't want to face homelessness or bankruptcy or something like that. This is way bigger than a simple footnote on a BFC post deserves, but I have to manage it at some point if I want to get any real progress at all. Any advice would be super helpful. I might revisit this later today or tomorrow once I get some sleep with some preliminary questions on how to approach certain things, but for right now I'm going to leave it there. Thanks again.
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Sep 18, 2015 14:04
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 00:20 |
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You can head out into the world of employment "if you have to?" Guess what, bub, you have to. Start filling out at least 5 applications a day, even if it's just to flip burgers or run a register. How the hell have you been surviving on $300 a month? What have you been doing for the past 6 years?
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Sep 18, 2015 14:57
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Living off of family savings, while I was taking care of my mother. Living off of what inheritance that didn't go into the house, once she passed. Plus the $450/month rent that I've had for a while now from having a roommate. And to be clear, I was talking about at-home work versus a normal job. I know I have to get employment, I was just acknowledging that unlike some folks who can't deal with leaving the house because of medical issues, I -can-.
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Sep 18, 2015 15:06
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Your situation seems to be way worse than you are treating it. You have no money, no job history, no credit history, no transportation, and your house is infested with rats and falling apart. Your initial thoughts seem to be along the lines of "maybe I can work from home, I'm waiting for an inheritance", and "I eat out every day even though I can't pay the electric bill". You say your schedule doesn't line up with your roommate's at all, but you don't seem to do anything so I don't really understand how that is possible. Why don't you just make it work? I think your first important step is going to be to truly acknowledge what a trainwreck of a situation you are in, and do some self reflection to figure out how you got there and how you can make effective change to act differently going forward. With that all said, if I randomly woke up and found myself in your situation: 1. Get a second roommate and stop waiting for the other guy 2. Stop eating out and start cooking cheap poo poo like rice, beans, and crappy chicken 3. Fix your car 4. Get a job, preferably one with some kind of theoretical career advancement or skill type stuff (e.g. helpdesk or crappy office work) but ultimately you are going to have to take whatever you can get. Possibly work with your roommate so you can carpool and align schedules? 5. Learn to fix your crappy house yourself so you can make it nice and rat-free without having to pay professionals for everything you do 6. Pay your electric bill 7. Start taking a 1 hour long walk every day outside 8. See if some kind of mental health counseling is available to you for free based on your low income. I don't really know how to find this though - call the county hospital maybe. You should probably make a small list of things to do every single day. For example, today (and every other day) you will: 1. Apply for at least one realistic job 2. Cook one cheap meal with enough left over for a second meal 3. Spend 45 minutes cleaning something in your house, or repairing a problem with your house 4. Spend at least 45 minutes walking outside
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Sep 18, 2015 15:58
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Droo posted:Extremely good stuff.
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Sep 18, 2015 23:25
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This thread should probably get moved to e/n. Post pictures of the inside of your house please, let people see what sort of issues you're dealing with. Do you have any support system where you are, friends or other family? You are very young to have lost both of your parents, sorry for your losses. You need to find out and contact your local public mental health providers ASAP. You should be seeing a social worker who can connect you with doctors and therapists to assist you. You should probably qualify for public assistance or at least food stamps. If you are going to have any chance of fixing your financial issues, you will need to have your physical and mental issues in check first. You seem to be able to write well, so you're already ahead of probably 80% of the American population. Go to a temp agency and try to get some sort of basic office work. Show up to work on time, well dress and groomed, and do your job well. Odds are you'll only temp at a few places before you would get offered a decent, albeit low paying office job. Are you fortunate enough to live in an area where the house you live in has some / lots of value? Can you rent places for relatively cheap? You should probably consider selling the house. This would be a bad idea if you use the money from the sale of the house to just sit in an apartment and piss the money away. If you could sell the house for $100k tomorrow, move into a cheap rental place, and have a job that covers your living expenses your life will significantly improve. You can use the sale of the house as a nest egg, a safety net, and perhaps an education fund if you so choose. Long and the short of it is you've probably got far more e/n issues to deal with before you can get the BFC portion of your life straight.
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Sep 19, 2015 07:58
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(1) Where do you live? (2) What are you reasonably good at? (3) What are you decidedly not good at?
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Sep 21, 2015 04:05
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Droo posted:8. See if some kind of mental health counseling is available to you for free based on your low income. I don't really know how to find this though - call the county hospital maybe. OP has zero income, so he will qualify for Medicaid (if he isn't already on it). Medicaid will cover counseling fully, with no co-pay. Get counseling, OP. There is literally no way you will fix your life without it. Everyone here will tell you you need to get a job in public (true) and start living on a budget (true), but there is absolutely no way you will do these things on your own. Your brain is all hosed up because you've been living like a weird retard for so long, so without constant (weekly at least) appointments a good counselor (someone who challenges your bullshit), you will just give up at the first road block at then make a post six months from now about how now your house has fallen down and you're living in the ruins with a swarm of rats and now you think maybe you really need a job, designing web sites maybe.
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Sep 23, 2015 01:11
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| # ? Apr 30, 2024 00:20 |
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Are you still alive, OP?
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Nov 29, 2015 04:36
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