0-16 Watch: Don't believe your Lion eyes

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Calvin Johnson Jr.: Dec 8, 2009

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

I would gladly exchange a Lions win in Lambeau for a 1-15 season

this is the only hope

do it caldwell and all is forgiven

# ? Oct 17, 2015 09:33

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 16:57

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

# ? Oct 17, 2015 13:42

Dirt Worshipper: Apr 2, 2007; Paralithodes Californiensis

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

# ? Oct 17, 2015 13:48

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

should have sent a poet

:allears:

# ? Oct 17, 2015 13:59

D-LINK: Oct 1, 2007; I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

Ross Angeles posted:

Ryan Braun

And Gomez

# ? Oct 17, 2015 14:43

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

And Gomez

Carlos Own-mez.

:colbert:

# ? Oct 17, 2015 15:47

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Mods please change my name to Hentai Catch.

# ? Oct 17, 2015 17:26

Zoran: Aug 19, 2008; I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!

NC-17 posted:

Mods please change my name to Hentai Catch.

Only if I can be Very Hentai Catch.

# ? Oct 17, 2015 17:32

nerve: Jan 2, 2011; SKA SUCKS

MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:

And Gomez

Huh?

# ? Oct 17, 2015 17:35

Filthy Casual: Aug 13, 2014

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

# ? Oct 17, 2015 17:50

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

thank you for putting this post in my life

# ? Oct 17, 2015 19:54

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

I watch college football to avoid the Lions, and Michigan just lost to Michigan State on the most Lions-est play you could ever imagine.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 00:54

Chain_of_Dogs: Aug 24, 2015

That was a pretty awesome play (if you were rooting for Sparty).

I'm not sure even the Lions could lose that way.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 01:32

curiosity fucked me up: Oct 7, 2014

Chain_of_Dogs posted:

I'm not sure even the Lions could lose that way.

That sounds like a challenge

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:11

Chain_of_Dogs: Aug 24, 2015

It could be. As I said before, if the Lions are going to be bad I want them to be epically bad.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:23

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Chain_of_Dogs posted:

It could be. As I said before, if the Lions are going to be bad I want them to be epically bad.

if you were a fan of a good team i would just assume you were a naive dumbass, but..what

# ? Oct 18, 2015 02:32

Brannock: Feb 9, 2006; by exmarx; Fallen Rib

Volkerball posted:

if you were a fan of a good team i would just assume you were a naive dumbass, but..what

Better to be memorably bad than just low-grade depressively and forgettably bad?

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:01

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Brannock posted:

Better to be memorably bad than just low-grade depressively and forgettably bad?

Having been in both situations, no. Getting blown the gently caress up every week just makes poo poo horrible to bear. At least if you're competitive, there's a reason to watch most games. If you've got an offense putting up 70 yards a game and a defense that makes Chad Henne look like Peyton Manning, what's the consolation? Oh cool. We broke the record for most penalty yards in a season. How funny. Those years are by far the most boring. Bad teams aren't entertaining. They just do nothing. It's like watching a scrimmage, or Alabama playing St. Peters Barbers College.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:30

Neodoomium: Jun 20, 2001; You are now hearing this
noise in your head.

By the end of the 0-16 season I had progressed beyond wanting them to go 0-16 to just simply not caring about them anymore.

And now that they're a legit threat to do it again I'm just happy I have NFL Red Zone so I'm only subjected to them being aggressively lovely for like 5 minutes tops.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 05:54

gtkor: Feb 21, 2011

I wish. I still end up watching a full Lions mess with a sense of dread that builds typically through the game (week, season) about how crap they are. I'd rather they be at least entertaining or competitive because Arizona last week was pretty dumb. And we have had a lot of pretty dumb over the years.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 10:51

Hizawk: Jun 18, 2004; High on the Lions.

How soon everyone forgets about this:

"I'm really not sure where to even begin with Sunday's Detroit Lions game. It was one of the wildest, wackiest, outrageous games I've ever witnessed not just in football, but in sports in general. Just how crazy are we talking here? For starters, the Lions were down 41-27 with 1:16 left after the Tennessee Titans scored on a 72-yard fumble return for a touchdown (their fifth touchdown of 60 or more yards in this game). To make it even crazier, Shaun Hill entered the game for the first time at this point because of an injury to Matthew Stafford. Despite coming in cold, Hill led the Lions to two touchdowns in a span of 18 seconds to tie the game thanks to an onside kick and a Hail Mary to Titus Young on the final play of regulation.

All of this craziness resulted in the game going to overtime, where the Titans got a field goal and the Lions botched a fourth-and-one inside the Tennessee 10-yard line to end the game. The Titans managed to hang on to win by a score of 44-41 in a game that nobody will ever forget, especially the Lions considering they came back in miraculous fashion only to lose in the end."

A fourth and one where the Lions were specifically attempting to drive the Titans offsides, and the Lions all knew it, and the Dominic Roaila snapped the loving ball.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 13:16

curiosity fucked me up: Oct 7, 2014

Hizawk posted:

How soon everyone forgets about this:

"I'm really not sure where to even begin with Sunday's Detroit Lions game. It was one of the wildest, wackiest, outrageous games I've ever witnessed not just in football, but in sports in general. Just how crazy are we talking here? For starters, the Lions were down 41-27 with 1:16 left after the Tennessee Titans scored on a 72-yard fumble return for a touchdown (their fifth touchdown of 60 or more yards in this game). To make it even crazier, Shaun Hill entered the game for the first time at this point because of an injury to Matthew Stafford. Despite coming in cold, Hill led the Lions to two touchdowns in a span of 18 seconds to tie the game thanks to an onside kick and a Hail Mary to Titus Young on the final play of regulation.

All of this craziness resulted in the game going to overtime, where the Titans got a field goal and the Lions botched a fourth-and-one inside the Tennessee 10-yard line to end the game. The Titans managed to hang on to win by a score of 44-41 in a game that nobody will ever forget, especially the Lions considering they came back in miraculous fashion only to lose in the end."

A fourth and one where the Lions were specifically attempting to drive the Titans offsides, and the Lions all knew it, and the Dominic Roaila snapped the loving ball.

I didn't remember the game until you mentioned raiola

# ? Oct 18, 2015 13:49

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

Magicpants posted:

This Tight End, Mike. This Guy. Used to play basketball in college. He's a big, physical guy, he can go up and bring you down some of those rebounds. When he got drafted into the National Football League, Coach said "Hey, use those big hands of yours and catch some oblate spheroids at the Tight End Position." This kid is a big fan of anime, Mike. He taught me words like desu and hentai. We watched a film together, Mike. Called it Ghost. In. The. Shell. I learned some things, Mike. Get this, the mind exists on a plane outside the physical world. Your consciousness depends on your ability to question your own consciousness. I'm talking about. Robots. With Human. Souls. Mike. I'm talking about grappling with the nature of your own existence. What are you in that interstitial space between Man and Machine, Mike? Ha, I'll tell ya, tackling with that can be tougher than tackling this big Fullback. It is Fascinating Stuff. Mike.

Mike: And the pass is over to the fullback for a short gain, looks to be good enough for a First before he's brought down.

That was a very hentai Catch, Mike.

I love everything about this post :allears:

# ? Oct 18, 2015 13:56

Hizawk: Jun 18, 2004; High on the Lions.

commieB posted:

I didn't remember the game until you mentioned raiola

Travis Swanson is literally worse than Raiola.

How's that for hosed up.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 14:02

computer parts: Nov 18, 2010; PLEASE CLAP

I think this belongs here:

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2015/10/17/2fart2furious-week-6-preview-enter-promo-code-pissboy-free-hot-take/

quote:

Bears @ Lions

The best part of the Lions being pace for another 0-16 season isn�t the fact that bad things happening to the Lions is always funny. Don�t get me wrong, that�s part of it, but it�s not the icing on the cake. No the piece de resistance of this historical trashfuck team is Jim Caldwell on the sidelines. I swear to God it doesn�t matter how many Lions games I watch I always forget he�s the coach. If you include the preseason that makes 9 weeks in a row where I�ve turned on a Lions game, highlight, etc and saw that he was the coach, laughed really hard out loud to no one in particular, and then just like that he was gone from my memory again.

I�ve Eternal Sunshined him out of my brain on a weekly basis. I�ve mentally retconned a human being. Every single week I get to watch Matt Stafford throw a backbreaking interception and when the camera cuts to the sideline and Jim Caldwell is staring straight ahead with this thousand yard stare like he hasn�t been the same since his deployment in Da Nang I cackle like a loving moron. Whether it�s watching Dan Orlovsky play an entire half or making a necklace out of Vietnamese ears, he always has that same look. The ball is knocked out of Megatron�s hands and Jim stares into the abyss. �Detroit�poo poo. I�m still only in Detroit. Every time I think I�m gonna wake up back in the jungle.� Sure he remains stoic in the press conferences, ensuring the press that he�s not pleased with his team�s performance and he�s going to go back to the tape and make some improvements. But once they�re gone he�s alone in the locker room stripped down to his underwear and punching mirrors.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 14:19

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

computer parts posted:

I think this belongs here:

http://www.footballandrationalthoughts.com/2015/10/17/2fart2furious-week-6-preview-enter-promo-code-pissboy-free-hot-take/

Your not wrong, and I loving love BBP

# ? Oct 18, 2015 16:05

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Hizawk posted:

How soon everyone forgets about this:

"I'm really not sure where to even begin with Sunday's Detroit Lions game. It was one of the wildest, wackiest, outrageous games I've ever witnessed not just in football, but in sports in general. Just how crazy are we talking here? For starters, the Lions were down 41-27 with 1:16 left after the Tennessee Titans scored on a 72-yard fumble return for a touchdown (their fifth touchdown of 60 or more yards in this game). To make it even crazier, Shaun Hill entered the game for the first time at this point because of an injury to Matthew Stafford. Despite coming in cold, Hill led the Lions to two touchdowns in a span of 18 seconds to tie the game thanks to an onside kick and a Hail Mary to Titus Young on the final play of regulation.

All of this craziness resulted in the game going to overtime, where the Titans got a field goal and the Lions botched a fourth-and-one inside the Tennessee 10-yard line to end the game. The Titans managed to hang on to win by a score of 44-41 in a game that nobody will ever forget, especially the Lions considering they came back in miraculous fashion only to lose in the end."

A fourth and one where the Lions were specifically attempting to drive the Titans offsides, and the Lions all knew it, and the Dominic Roaila snapped the loving ball.

Blowing a huge lead does sound like the Titans

# ? Oct 18, 2015 16:08

rabidsquid: Oct 11, 2004; LOVES THE KOG

Neodoomium posted:

By the end of the 0-16 season I had progressed beyond wanting them to go 0-16 to just simply not caring about them anymore.

And now that they're a legit threat to do it again I'm just happy I have NFL Red Zone so I'm only subjected to them being aggressively lovely for like 5 minutes tops.

I spent several hundred dollars and waking up at 9 am to watch that 0-16 season from Vancouver, BC. My alternative was watching the Raiders or Chargers. I forget whoever KT-LA showed. That was a really depressing football season. That was also the year the Pistons traded for Iverson.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 17:03

pmchem: Jan 22, 2010

Lions defeat the Bears, Cutler throws at least 1 INT and fumbles at least once in the process. Streak ends!

# ? Oct 18, 2015 17:57

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

pmchem posted:

Lions defeat the Bears, Cutler throws at least 1 INT and fumbles at least once in the process. Streak ends!

Lol the spread was like 3 loving points. Bears are bad

# ? Oct 18, 2015 18:07

Brannock: Feb 9, 2006; by exmarx; Fallen Rib

https://twitter.com/AndrewSiciliano/status/655755229334376448

Andrew Siciliano Verified account
‏@AndrewSiciliano
Matthew Stafford has a passer rating of 0.5 when targeting Calvin Johnson on passes of 15+ yards this year. In 2014 that rating was 82.9.

# ? Oct 18, 2015 18:40