oh god help me

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Missing Name

I accidentally let a fly in the house. I think it's waiting to kill me now ever since I missed with the rolled up newspaper

what do, this is the only place I trust for advice

# ? Oct 4, 2015 17:56

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# ? May 16, 2024 06:46

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

surrender

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# ? Oct 4, 2015 18:01

Areola Grande: it's a free country u pervs

hotbox it into submission and then gently set the noble creature free

# ? Oct 4, 2015 18:02

tao of lmao

you dun goofed, op. that fly is gonna have a million babies and they're gonna puke their bug guts on you in your sleep

# ? Oct 4, 2015 18:05

Senior Management

This is bad but it could be worse. You could have an infestation of butt spiders. I second

opioid agonist posted:

hotbox it into submission and then gently set the noble creature free

:jerry:

# ? Oct 4, 2015 19:30

cat_herder: BE GAY
DO CRIME

opioid agonist posted:

hotbox it into submission and then gently set the noble creature free

# ? Oct 4, 2015 20:25

Missing Name

I haven't heard it buzzing in a while. Does this mean its just stalking me, or ...?

# ? Oct 4, 2015 20:31

Damp Star Baby: Staying Legend. CA Exempt DEATH

it found someone better op time to move on. I can give that fly everything it needs, and it knows it :hehe:

I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans; I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. - William Blake

# ? Oct 4, 2015 20:48

cuntman.net

you ran into a super stealth fly :gonk:

# ? Oct 4, 2015 20:49

A LOVELY LAD: Hey man, wanna hear a secret?

its probabalyt rubbing its lil hands at the thought of what its gon do to you

# ? Oct 4, 2015 21:26

dogcrash truther

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB_MRNU9qDo

# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:47

dogcrash truther

https://www.bugasalt.com

# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:47

dogcrash truther

warning, that is NOT a website about how to find a nice man to give you AIDS

# ? Oct 5, 2015 00:47

ChairmanMeow: Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

you must move. Like your home, not around.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 01:17

cuntman.net

change your name and flee to a different country

# ? Oct 5, 2015 01:19

Missing Name

The fly is back. I shall name him Billy.

He is in the kitchen while I cower in my bedroom with a nerf gun. If this doesn't kill him, the Mauser will come out.

AKA "byezimyannij" or some variant of that.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 02:04

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

"oh god, oh god what have i done" weeps a man, as he frantically picks up the deadly salt load and throws it over his shoulder. "nooooo!" he is trapped, forever throwing salt over his shoulder, never realizing if that salt was thrown over his shoulder or not. he won the battle, but lost the war

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# ? Oct 5, 2015 02:15

Qwerinty: by zen death robot

"help me, help meeeeee"---missing namefly

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Oct 5, 2015 02:17

cat_herder: BE GAY
DO CRIME

Missing Name posted:

The fly is back. I shall name him Billy.

He is in the kitchen while I cower in my bedroom with a nerf gun. If this doesn't kill him, the Mauser will come out.

why did you name him, now you'll get attached and keep him for a pet

# ? Oct 5, 2015 11:16

Missing Name

Day two of the fly. We have settled into an uneasy truce. Billy stays on one side of the room, I stay on the other. He buzzes slowly; I play the sound of kazoos back as protest.

I left him an offering of poisoned sugar water.

# ? Oct 5, 2015 14:54

DeepQantas: Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Wait! You still have the emergency teleportation device, don't you?

# ? Oct 5, 2015 14:59

GoodbyeTurtles

To defeat the fly, you must first become the fly

# ? Oct 5, 2015 15:18

DeepQantas: Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Have you tried chopsticks?

# ? Oct 5, 2015 15:22

Missing Name

DeepQantas posted:

Have you tried chopsticks?

I'm shunning my Asian heritage. It failed me when I ate ice cream the other night

# ? Oct 5, 2015 15:30

Commie NedFlanders

Let a spider in

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

# ? Oct 6, 2015 06:08

DeepQantas: Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...

Actually I meant the piano duet. Flies love making friends over chopsticks, they just never seem to find a playing partner and a walk-on-piano calibrated for fly weight.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 08:25

social vegan

dogcrash truther posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB_MRNU9qDo

*smugly lifts bugasalt to lips, blowing the last plumes of saltsmoke leaving the barrel, turning the camera, a tight zoom to the face*

shoo fly, don't bother me.

*chuckles deeply, sits down and tries not to cringe while eating salty milk and cereal*

# ? Oct 6, 2015 13:03

BeanBandit: Beanbandit?
Son of a bitch!

Missing Name posted:

I'm shunning my Asian heritage. It failed me when I ate ice cream the other night

unwise

*utilizes asian heritage to quickly earn a green belt in tae kwon do*

# ? Oct 6, 2015 13:18

Missing Name

Day three. I have barricaded myself in the kitchen. I have access to food and the side door. Billy is doing something in the living room. I can hear him buzzing. My kazoo broke overnight and I can't buzz back at him anymore. If he learns how to go upstairs, who knows what will happen.

Food supplies are good, but I should start rationing them to be safe.

Can I leave the house safely? I'll have to find out.

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:04

tao of lmao

Missing Name posted:

Day two of the fly. We have settled into an uneasy truce. Billy stays on one side of the room, I stay on the other. He buzzes slowly; I play the sound of kazoos back as protest.

I left him an offering of poisoned sugar water.

lol

# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:15

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

our hopes and prayers are with you. flies have a short life span, thank God- which is redundant since I already said our thoughts and prayers are with you. what I mean is YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU MAKE THAT SHORT-LIVED SONOFABITCH REGRET IT WAS EVER A MAGGOT!

thank you and good luck and sorry for screaming, I get emotional sometimes.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
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# ? Oct 6, 2015 15:22

cat_herder: BE GAY
DO CRIME

you named him, fed him, and gave him half your house

you might as well start taking him for walks and dressing him up in stupid outfits

# ? Oct 7, 2015 07:38

ron color

safe money is on the fly. sorry

# ? Oct 7, 2015 08:04

cuntman.net

ron color posted:

safe money is on the fly. sorry

# ? Oct 7, 2015 08:18

Missing Name

loving GOT HIM :siren:

I GOT BILLY

graphic fly crime scene photo, do not click if easily frightened :nws:

I can sleep safely now

AKA "byezimyannij" or some variant of that.

# ? Oct 8, 2015 03:11

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

become the fly. to kill you he'd have to kill himself first, see who blinks first in that situation pal. that's the pitch for my Hollywood remake of the fly