Henchman of Santa posted:

Because amazing poo poo like this happens and the NFL is utterly boring much of the time.

Noctone posted:

I loving wish cops would enforce the "keep right except to pass" law we have here in Colorado. There are a lot of fuckers in the Denver area that make a point of driving slow in the left lane and it's loving infuriating.

syscall girl posted:

Do you think there's an analyst at the NSA carefully studying your taste in porn, pizza toppings or artisanal furniture?

If so, you probably picked Hawaiian style and should be ashamed of yourself, also welcome to the 21st century, enjoy your time on earth.

chitoryu12 posted:

Seriously, if you're standing outside a "Give basic human rights to people different than you" rally and shouting that they deserve an eternity of torture for being born different, I'm cool with punches.

hanales posted:

You would think there would be additional driver's test requirements to drive something that powerful and complex. It's not like I can just get in a semi and start driving it around my neighborhood.

Desuwa posted:

How do you prove that I exist? Likewise I cannot prove that you exist. I could be a brain in a jar being fed sensory information.

There are a lot of things, most "things" in fact, that you cannot prove beyond all possible alternative explanations. "Negatives" aren't special and don't exist as a set of things.

Even ignoring those kinds of things, it's possible to prove that physical unicorns don't exist in this universe. It's just not practical, as it would involve somehow confirming that no unicorn is present anywhere in the universe at once, but that's not "impossible", just impractical. It's very easy to change it (unicorns only exist sometimes, unicorns are not observable, etc) so that it's impossible to disprove but it's just as easy to make things that are impossible to prove.


As a simple proof, let's assume I can't prove "negatives."

So for every X I cannot prove "not X." Therefore I also can't prove "not not X" either, and since "not not X" is just "X" I can't prove anything, at all.

Dillbag posted:

David Bowie's dead.

Lotish posted:

Nah, my wife and I watched a documentary on pandas this week and that's pretty much it. If they could actually breed worth poo poo they would quickly run out of food.

They are an evolutionary joke that God hasn't stopped telling yet.

CommonShore posted:

I cooked at a resort where the servers had the habit of doing their work in flip flops. I told them over and again, every time I saw them, to not work in a kitchen while wearing flip flops. Then one day there was a broken plate and one of the dumb servers in flip flops cut her foot on a piece of the broken plate and had to get flown out to get stitches.

Somehow this was my fault.

jesus christ that was a lovely job.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Original Boys N The Hood

Brocktoon posted:

Actually, he was nominating a judge, and refused to answer questions about Trump because they're "off-topic".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1kIUn1ESj4

Ugh, our loving Governor is the loving worst.

captainOrbital posted:

The guy from Maine has got to be in the running too.

Data Graham posted:

If it's not your core competency, you learn how to do it once and then never try to learn a better way. I'm sure we all have things in our lives we treat the same way.

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

I don't have a problem with their killing the pigs, it just seems like they aren't very good at it.

zakharov posted:

Getting a box of cheap disposable gloves for cutting hot peppers is a real good investment, folks.

exploding mummy posted:

I'd go with functioning alcoholic.

Krispy Kareem posted:

But that's not necessarily Sovereign Citizen. There was a podcast (I think This American Life) that went over border checkpoint protocol. Apparently you can stick a border checkpoint at any point within 100 miles of the border which means brown citizens can be asked for papers well within the country they were born and raised in. And because checkpoints that deep inside the country (including the ocean borders) are stupid, you aren't actually legally required to comply with anything Border Agents ask except to say "yep, I'm a citizen." I don't think you even have to show ID since it's not a police officer, but given the opportunity they'll search your entire car.

So it's good to know exactly what's expected of you at a traffic stop because law enforcement is definitely counting on intimidating you.

LordSaturn posted:

This came up in the Funny Pictures thread:


I have no idea what he did to get into this position, but whatever it was, I wonder what he thought was going to happen.

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

In more ways than one.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Two months from now: "Sorry to have to tell you this as you tune in, Olympics fans, but it's the damndest thing. Every swim team from every nation has boycotted their events, simultaneously! Clearly they don't possess enough Olympic Spirit to put up with literally swimming through poo poo."

Say Nothing posted:

Data Graham posted:

Who's the guy at the end of this?


E: oh wait, it's the parachute guy, never mind. Thought it was a different clip with someone else I was supposed to recognize.

ranbo das posted:

The first time I ever drove a UHaul I was following my GPS trying to find some fast food or something because I had been driving for 10 hours straight and saw an 11 foot 8 sign. My first thought was "huh its like that one bridge which all the idiots hit in trucks" shortly followed by "oh poo poo I'm the idiot in the truck". So thanks goons for saving me from murdering a helpless bridge.

I Am Crake posted:

radiatinglines posted:

she probably knew it wasn't venomous guys. it's not that hard to identify the three venomous snakes in North America, especially for someone from the country

WoodrowSkillson posted:

As much as we all love semantics, all pit-vipers have a very similar head shape, and if you see that you know not to grab them, and that goes for rattlesnakes, copperheads, and cottonmouths. Water moccasins are cottonmouths. Coral snakes are also extremely recognizable. Even if you forget the rhyme to tell it apart from a king snake, you know drat well to steer clear of a red, yellow, and black snake.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Maybe he only just noticed the big yellow BEAR LEFT signs?

Wasabi the J posted:

I was a security officer at a casino resort on the Strip.

Rolo posted:

I'm a pilot...

Takes No Damage posted:

He's going to need a bigger boat...

oldpainless posted:

One thing I never understood about the flat earth thing is, what's the end game? What is the benefit to having a flat earth?