Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!

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GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Did Bothans go to any trouble at all to bring us this information?

I wonder a lot about the poster.

It must mean something that Rey's not-a-gaffi-stick is superimposed with the Sith lightsaber.

Finn supposedly sucks dick at using a lightsaber in this one, but that's such an advanced pose he's got there, that you're probably right about him having some Jedi leanings.

I bet that new Death Star is the Rebel Superweapon.

If the makingstarwars synopsis is true, this movie has a complete reversal of the ESB Hoth scene, where the Rebels invade the secret, snowy Imperial base. I'm expecting a lot of OT inversions in this one.

GoGoGadgetChris fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Oct 25, 2015

# ¿ Oct 25, 2015 00:56

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:52

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

And similar to luke, her robot pal is a rebel Droid on the run from imperial scouts.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 01:33

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

The Alpine Kylo duel is shot a lot like the Degobah Vader scene. Wonder if there's any significance there? The ESB trailer explicitly made it look like luke and Vader were going to throw down in the woods.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2015 14:34

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Obviously he is going to be serpentine on account of his name is Snoke and this is Star Wars

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 03:01

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

iSheep posted:

I think it's pretty much known the movie is a soft reboot at this point.

Dude right?

A Skywalker flees a desert planet on the Millennium Falcon, joins the Alliance, the Old Mentor gets killed by a red lightsaber, and they blow up the ~~Death Star~~ Starkiller Base.

It's gonna be good, but it's basically A New Hope Anew

# ¿ Dec 12, 2015 22:45

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

In this thread we read bullet point summaries of movies and comment on their lack of depth.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2015 20:28

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Insonix posted:

I just saw the movie. I'm willing to answer any question, if it's made using spoiler marks.

I really liked it! For starters it's way better than the prequels.

Fine!

Why are you requiring spoiler marks in the spoiler thread

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 04:23

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Is notable space Mexican Nien Nunb pretty good in it?!

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 06:10

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Empire Strikes Back established that Jedi training takes about as long as a traffic stop by the Cloud City Police.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 23:14

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

ShineDog posted:

I don't really understand why the Republic supports the resistance covertly and not openly since the order is such a bag of dicks?

"Yeah listen, we can't DIRECTLY support you, because that may seem like an act of war that could lead to hostilities"

(First Order blows up an entire planet)

"Tensions are really high right now"

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 23:37

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Does the ENTIRE Aftermath Trilogy take place after RotJ but before TFA? The third book doesn't come out until 2017!

# ¿ Dec 17, 2015 00:07

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

If you don't think the next movie is going to have Luke say "No, Rey, I am your Father" you don't know fuckin' Star Wars

# ¿ Dec 18, 2015 16:56

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

I found myself having some seriously gay thoughts for Poe. Daaaaaamn!

# ¿ Dec 18, 2015 21:49

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Reading every single plot beat didn't do anything to ruin the movie. Things like Thumbs Up Robot and "THAT"S not how the FORCE works" were fantastic surprises.

And the "Because it's the right thing to do -" "You need a pilot"

".. I need a pilot"

# ¿ Dec 19, 2015 00:14

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Blowing up the top 5 Capitol planets with your superplanet laser has got to elevate this Cold War to at least... lukewarm?

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 22:35

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Yeah Edna Mode was pretty good in this.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 05:34

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Frankston posted:

Movie owned bones. Is the 3D version any good? Want to see it again so might try 3D this time.

Rey jumps straight at the camera to catch a rope, and at one point a Star Destroyer pokes you in the eye.

Those are the two mandatory OMG 3D!!!! moments but the rest was pretty good!

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 19:53

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Cool character design that stands around doing nothing, everyone speaks of what a badass the character is, and then gets taken out like a chump. What on earth could they be going for!

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 23:53

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

"THAT'S not how the FORCE works" was an awesome nod to that.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 19:37

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

They reeeeally seemed to be hinting that Rey had some history with the force that she isn't aware of or won't acknowledge.

We've only been told a PORTION

of her story, so it's a little early to cry foul at her abilities.

However, what was up with her big goofy "I BYPASSED the motivator!" smile? I didn't get it. Was she proud of herself for figuring it out or did she laugh at solving the problem through yanking wires?

The joke must've gone over my head.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 21:45

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Piloting a hoverspeeder on a desert planet makes you really good at flying starships. This was established in the OT so it's within The Rules.

Finn surveyed the lightsaber blow and Kylo survived the gutshot because your main characters can't die before the story ends. "They were only grazed" is the only answer you need.

Rey knew how to fix the Falcon because she lived near it for ~15 years and is well versed in the modifications that have been made to it by people in her life.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 21:53

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Yeah if you sell something for $$$ you're generally not the boss of it anymore.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2015 23:30

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Rocksicles posted:

Saw it last night. Pretty sure i didn't blink until that scene... and then didn't again until the very end.

Things i loved.

Almost everything

Things i hated.

Not sure if it was the 3d but Luke's lightsaber looked like a Pringles can, it was loving huge.

Vibing on Darth Snape's whole deal, but i see being a whiney little bitch didn't skip a generation.

I'm calling it now Rey being Lukes kid... Left on a Sand planet like father and grandfather before.... that's why she got the memories.

off topic, but you know The Flash (your avatar) and Flash Gordon (your title) aren't related, right??

# ¿ Dec 23, 2015 02:04

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

They did a good job of making Poe's sexuality ambiguous. The whole time I was in the theater, all I could think was "drat, that boy is putting out vibes to all the men around him!!" and I was totally sure he was gay IRL. But I've done a lot of googling and there don't seem to be any pictures of him kissing men.

Do you think there's any funny joke stories about him and Finn being boyfriends haha? I want to read them as a joke

# ¿ Dec 23, 2015 22:12

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

One day, Rey woke up and decided to leave her desert planet. After hopping between the pilot and gunner's seats, her starship automatically flew itself to Maz Kanata's bar and grill where she found a lightsaber and pocketed it.

After being captured, she released herself but was confronted by Kylo Ren. He flung her against a tree but gave her enough time to regain her footing. She fought him and prevailed even though Kylo had not been shot by anyone recently. Rey then found her way back to her stolen spaceship and flew it to Luke Skywalker's secret hideout that only she knew about.

This has been Rey's Incredible Day With Zero Help

Poe was unable to help her, possibly because he was giving kisses to a man somewhere

# ¿ Dec 23, 2015 22:45

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

ImpAtom posted:

I really wish someone could explain to me why using the Force to manipulate someone's mind is somehow something that needs to be explained.

Everyone treats The Force like a RPG leveling system where you need to hit Level 4 before you can use Mind Trick but that is not and has never been before how the Force is presented. Every lesson anyone gets about the Force is "open yourself up to it and you will feel what you have to do." The Jedi exhibit telekinesis and precognition without any training whatsoever. "This character mysteriously gained a new power" is entirely grounded in video game thought processes where magic has to be learned and leveled up before you can use higher level skills.

Think back to Yoda's training in ESB. He never goes "Luke, to lift this rock, you must put extra points into your WIS modifier." He in fact explicitly points out that Luke's problem is entirely mental and him trying to approach it the wrong way, not that it is extremely hard to do.

You can't use Jedi Mind Tricks until you've mastered the following advanced technique

# ¿ Dec 23, 2015 22:50

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

One of my favorite parts of the movie was Han telling Kylo:

Take off the mask. You don't need it.

It's so perfect. He literally doesn't need it. He's not scarred, disfigured, or mutilated in some way that requires life support.

Shortly after he goes all-in on the Dark Side he gets his face fuuuuucked up and you better believe he's gonna need a mask now.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2015 00:19

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Frankston posted:

My friend saw The Force Awakens today and didn't like it because Ren is a pussy-rear end vader.

This is an extremely common complaint and it's why the movie felt the need to say things like

"In 5 minutes that weapon's gonna drain the sun and fire. As long as there's still light, we have time to stop the weapon from firing when it's done draining the sun in 5 minutes"

Moviegoers be dumb, yo.

# ¿ Dec 24, 2015 00:52

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

It's like that episode of 30 Rock when Jenna becomes chubby, and Alec Baldwin says "that woman needs to gain or lose 40 pounds immediately. A woman of that size has no place on television"

Carrie Fisher is 59, which makes her old, but not Old Lady old, and it's not something we're used to seeing in movies.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 18:25

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Han/Kylo bridge showdown. How did you interpret it?

1. Kylo is urging Han to kill him (Kylo) with his lightsaber. When Han hesitates, Kylo gets grumpy about the Weakness and kills Han
2. Kylo offered Han the lightsaber as part of a ~~~SIQ FAKEOUT~~~ and always planned to gut him
3. Other?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 20:03

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Hollismason posted:

Han and Kylo are noticably struggling for the lightsaber in that scene which I though was good.

Yeah, I really liked that part.

Two other thoughts of no relevance

- I freaking loved TR-8R. Best stormtrooper ever.
- There's pretty much no reason for BB8 to be in the next one, since he's completed his Get the Map mission. I'll miss him! (They'll probably force some reason for him to be prominent in Ep 8 though)

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 20:13

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Mon Mothma demilitarized the Republic (cut the army down to a tiny fraction), and the fleet follows the senate around :thumbsup:

It got exploded. The big picture is that the good and bad guys are on equal footing now, despite the Republic's 30 year head start.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 21:59

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Um, if Poe isn't gay for Finn, then how do you explain all the DREAMS I've been having? Checkmate Gay Jedis

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 03:16

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

I thought the coat was just JJ Abrams trying to make it clear that THIS IS NOT A CONTINUITY ERROR when Han kept going in and outside of the cold with his parka.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 06:26

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Frackie Robinson posted:

I don't have any observation beyond this, but jackets/cloaks are kind of A Thing in this movie, like hats in Miller's Crossing or something.

A very interesting point, especially since Act 1 literally takes place on the planet Jacket.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 06:51

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

The Star Wars visual dictionary or whatever it's called has so many strange demi-references to KOTOR.

Taris is mentioned, but it bears no similarity to KOTOR Taris.
Rakata Prime, same exact deal
The Scourge of Malachor is referenced, but it doesn't seem to refer to Malachor V getting blown up as it did in KOTOR 2.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2015 20:35

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

Interesting leak from the blurey edition. Thoughts?

http://i.imgur.com/GDaFjvw.jpg?1

# ¿ Dec 30, 2015 01:31

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

"I love the name Snoke. We GOTTA have a Snoke in the movie. Oh gently caress, there was a Snoke in Return of the Jedi? gently caress! We need to use Snoke! Whatever, that Snoke was just some bullshit A-Wing pilot who died, and not even THE A-Wing pilot who died. We're still using Snoke."
- JJ Abrams, 2014

I am so thoroughly relieved that he didn't end up being a smoke snake.

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 00:36

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

ENORMITY of space hahahahaha

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 20:33

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:52

GoGoGadgetChris: Mar 18, 2010; i powder a
granite monument
in a soundless flash

showering the grass
with molten drops of
its gold inlay

sending smoking
chips of stone
skipping into the fog

computer parts posted:

The Civil War trailers, by contrast, showed pretty much all of the movie thus far.

If you're game, I would love to see you outline the story arc and major plot points. I'm curious how accurate you'll be having seen "pretty much all of the movie"

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 21:29

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Star Wars VIII spoil-o-rama thread. You've been warned!

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