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Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.


I'm the piece of paper flapping on the dickfan.

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Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Renegret posted:

The existence of a drink mixing minigame isn't what bothers me.

What bothers me is that the drink mixing minigame was implemented before the base game even existed. That just screams bad project management, a needless focus on minutiae while ignoring the big picture.

Polishing the brass on the Titanic before it even hit the water.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Romes128 posted:

Because recently started citizen backers have proven themselves crazier than initially thought.

They'd literally rather throw more money at sc than listen to reason.
I also like it when they throw money after refusing to listen to reason.

"It's a scam eh? Well gently caress you!" *Whips out credit card, wife packs up kids and leaves*

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Chris Roberts: A new space buggy built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The buggy crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average refund request C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Dick Wulf: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Chris Roberts: You wouldn't believe.
Dick Wulf: Which game company do you work for?
Chris Roberts: A major one.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Justin Tyme posted:

yes but you will harmlessly bounce off because it is a large textured sphere, also the texture will be extremely stretched as you fly close and the pixels of the texture stretch for tens of kilometers

For a visual example look of this please refer to Ben's shirt buttons.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Game's running fine

Your eyes are crap is all

Star Citizen: What you're playing you wont need eyes.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

jaegerx posted:

Hey Reddit I'm willing to sell my SA account. I'm no 10 year account but enough where you can post and no one will think you're a j4g. Pm your offer.

No Dick wulf I do not accept dick pics as currency.


E: also no seraph. You're a creepy pedo

I'll sell my 14 year account AND will accept dick pics, the floppier the better.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

T.G. Xarbala posted:

SA is less a place to pledge allegiance to and more a place to be marked by
??

Not a furry

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Omi-Polari posted:

My resolution is to be more like Derek Smart and not giving a fuuuuuuuuuck

He is the Kwisatz Goonerach.
His name is a killing word of dreams.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an autist
Your mushmouth makes me cry

You phase through a bulkhead
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was a whale
You're such a fuckin' whale

But it's feature creep, I'm a sperg
What the hell another crash?
No one belongs here

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

https://youtu.be/fGx6K90TmCI

Yeah (uh), yeah, yeah (uh) (Grrrr)
Yeah don't get disconnected
This movie poo poo is mine motherfucker
It's not a loving game
gently caress what you heard
It’s what you postin' (it’s what you hearin')
It’s what you postin' (listen)
It’s what you postin' (listen)
It’s what you postin' (listen)

Chris not gon' give it to ya
gently caress waiting for a game ya never going to own
Chris won't deliver to ya
Knock knock, open up the door, it's real
With the non-stop, shitpost and brainless speel
Post hard getting busy wit it
But I got such a bad post
I'll make a motherfucker wonder why he reddit
drat right and I'll do it again
Cause Derek is right so he gots to win
Break the game wit the enemy
But no matter how many ships I crash with
I'll crash who you sending me
You motherfuckers never wanted nothing, but your PvP cherry saved
Bitch, and that's on a light day
I'm getting down, down like a instance said CRASH!
But won't be the one ending up on his knees (woo)
Shitizen please, if the only thing you cats did
Was came out to play - stay out my way
Motherfucker

First we gonna LAG , then we gonna LOCK
Then we let it CRASH, CLOSE LET IT CLOSE

Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya
Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya

Chris ain't never gave nothing to me
But every time I turn around
Spergs got they wallets out wanting something from him
He ain't got it so you can't get it
Let's leave it at that cause the game ain't wit it
Hit it with full speed, I'm a space jail sperg
So I face the world like it's Ben in the buffet
You against me, me against you
Whatever, whenever sperg, gently caress you gon' do?
I'm a goon in citizen clothing
Only goon that you know that can shill
Come back and get the servers open
I've been shitposting for fifteen years
Shitizens wanna fight me? Fight those tears
I put in development and it's all for the kids
But these spergs done forgot what development is (UH-HUH!)
They don't know who we be
Looking! but they don't know who they see

First we gonna LAG , then we gonna LOCK
Then we let it CRASH, CLOSE LET IT CLOSE
Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya
Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya

Aiyyo where my goons at?!
I know I got them down in the game
Give 'em love and they give it back
Talk too much for too long
Don't give up you're too strong (What?!)
Dub to the wow wow honeys (yeah!)
Shoutout to goons that done it
And it ain't even about the game
It's about getting down for what you stand for yo

First we gonna LAG , then we gonna LOCK
Then we let it CRASH, CLOSE LET IT CLOSE
Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya
Chris not gon' give it to ya
He not gon' give it to ya

Malkof fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Jan 19, 2016

Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I think I just figured out what's going on. They're not making a game at all, they're making an animated made for TV movie about the whole mess!
Chris - Gary Oldman
Sandi - herself
Ben - John Rhys-Davies
HoboLando - Mark Hamill
Random intern that's fawns over Sandi - Gillian Anderson

I take back everything I said about these guys, they've been two steps ahead the entire time!

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Malkof
Oct 13, 2001

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

skaboomizzy posted:

Just realized that my most-followed topics on these forums are (in no particular order):

- this calamitous space-game sham
- Doobie
- the Republican presidential primary
- those idiots who took over the bird refuge in Oregon

Apparently I'm drawn to watching massive failures unfold in real time.

May I recommend the Smorky's girlfriend thread in GBS, it's right up your alley!

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