Why dont SEALS use water camo when they do water stuff?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Why dont SEALS use water camo when they do water stuff?

banned from Starbucks: Jul 18, 2004

theres snow camo, desert camo, plant camo or whatever its called but no water camo? How come?

None of these guys are wearing water camo but if they did you prob wouldnt be able to see them

# ? Oct 28, 2015 06:13

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 14:59

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

those are all paid actors, the real SEALs have predator camo

# ? Oct 28, 2015 06:16

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

The entire SEALs program is itself an illusion by the Navy to boost recruitment numbers. Any operations carried out by "SEALs" are actually done by the Army in exchange for some of those sweet, sweet budget monies.

I mean, really, who the gently caress would want to sign away years of their life to sit inside a giant steel tube?

# ? Oct 28, 2015 06:24

Analogical: May 20, 2013; EEOD? Why not, I could use a break from work

Naked Bear posted:

The entire SEALs program is itself an illusion by the Navy to boost recruitment numbers. Any operations carried out by "SEALs" are actually done by the Army in exchange for some of those sweet, sweet budget monies.

I mean, really, who the gently caress would want to sign away years of their life to sit inside a giant steel tube?

idk man I told my SEAL friend from DELTA and he said he was gonna kick your rear end

# ? Oct 28, 2015 07:22

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

those are all paid actors, the real SEALs have predator camo

Yeah these guys are either actors for a commercial or something, or they're the decoy team to distract the enemy while the real SEALS get the job done.

Funny thing is, Bush was right about the Mission Accomplished thing. But the loving SEALS were so good at it that nobody else has noticed yet!

# ? Oct 28, 2015 07:42

elite_garbage_man: Apr 3, 2010; I THINK THAT "PRIMA DONNA" IS "PRE-MADONNA". I MAY BE ILLITERATE.

Too busy writing books to work on water camo, bro

# ? Oct 28, 2015 08:38

Helldump Immunity.: Aug 2, 2013; Fuck you

# ? Oct 28, 2015 08:55

McSpatula: Aug 5, 2006

Dolphin wax, it's a thing.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 02:39

McSpatula: Aug 5, 2006

fuckoff double post

# ? Oct 29, 2015 02:39

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

elite_garbage_man posted:

Too busy ~~writing books~~ becoming a beautiful lady to work on water camo, bro

# ? Oct 29, 2015 02:41

Nice and hot piss: Feb 1, 2004

They don't wear camo because they're camels.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 03:37

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

Naked Bear posted:

The entire SEALs program is itself an illusion by the Navy to boost recruitment numbers. Any operations carried out by "SEALs" are actually done by the Army in exchange for some of those sweet, sweet budget monies.

I mean, really, who the gently caress would want to sign away years of their life to sit inside a giant steel tube?

the seals being fake and only there to lure idiots into enlisting would be funny.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 05:09

Sir Lucius: Aug 3, 2003

We wear water camo as the Navy uniform. Every sailor is a SEAL in training as they say

# ? Oct 29, 2015 06:18

Dude McAwesome: Sep 30, 2004; Still better than a Ponytar

they don't wear camo otherwise it's unfair to the bad guys

# ? Oct 29, 2015 07:59

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

The uniforms of the Imperial Guard are camouflaged in order to protect their wearers by hiding them from sight.

The principle is that what the enemy cannot see he cannot kill. This is not the way of the Adeptus Astartes. A Space Marine�s armour is bright with heraldry that proclaims his devotion to his Chapter and the beloved Emperor of Mankind. Our principle is that what the enemy can see, he will soon learn to fear�

# ? Oct 29, 2015 08:21

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

The Rat posted:

The uniforms of the Imperial Guard are camouflaged in order to protect their wearers by hiding them from sight.

The principle is that what the enemy cannot see he cannot kill. This is not the way of the Adeptus Astartes. A Space Marine�s armour is bright with heraldry that proclaims his devotion to his Chapter and the beloved Emperor of Mankind. Our principle is that what the enemy can see, he will soon learn to fear�

Lone Survivor would have been a million times better if you replace afghans with orks and had the last 45 minutes be about recovering gene seeds

# ? Oct 29, 2015 08:35

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Such a thing exists: http://www.amazon.com/Armageddon-Sp...words=helsreach

# ? Oct 29, 2015 08:41

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

The Rat posted:

Such a thing exists: http://www.amazon.com/Armageddon-Sp...words=helsreach

I spent too much of my youth reading star wars bullshit to waste any more of my slipping youth reading corporate level fanfiction. But when death begins to loom and even the thought of sex becomes too laborious, I will probably read this

# ? Oct 29, 2015 08:47

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

The author of that, Aaron Dembski-Bowden, is legit good. He only writes 40k stuff though, so it makes him kind of hard to recommend to non-40k goons. This one is probably the best stand-alone novel that isn't part of some larger series.

quote:

The city was ready. The enemy was coming. It was time to face up to why he was exiled here.
Grimaldus took a step up onto the battlements.
The wind was strong � an atmospheric disturbance from so many heavy craft making planetfall � but despite the powerful gale that whipped the greatcoats of the human soldiers, Grimaldus remained steady.
He walked along the edge of the wall, his weapons drawn and activated. The generator coils on the back of his plasma pistol burned with fierce light, and his crozius maul sparked with lethal force. As he moved, the eyes of the soldiers followed him. The wind tore at his tabard and the parchment scrolls fastened to his armour. He paid no heed to the anger of the elements.
�Do you see that?� he asked quietly.
At first, only silence followed. Hesitantly, the Guard soldiers began to cast glances to each other, uncomfortable with the Chaplain�s presence and confused by his behaviour.
All eyes were on him now. Grimaldus aimed his mace out at the advancing hordes. Thousands. Tens of thousands. And only the very beginning.
�Do you see that?� he roared at the humans. The closest ranks flinched back from the mechanical bark that issued almost deafeningly loud from his skull helm.
�Answer me!�
He received several trembling nods. �Yes, sir�� uttered a handful of them, the speakers faceless within the masses behind their rebreather masks.
Grimaldus turned back to the wasteland, already dark with the teeming, chaotic ranks of the enemy. At first, his helm emitted a low, vox-distorted chuckle. Within a few seconds, he was laughing, laughing up at the burning sky while aiming his crozius hammer at the enemy.
�Are you all as insulted as I am? This is what they send against us?�
He turned back to the men, the laughter fading, but amused contempt filling his voice even through the inhumanising vocalisers of his helm.
�This is what they send? This rabble? We hold one of the mightiest cities on the face of the planet. The fury of its guns sends all skyborne enemies to the ground in flames. We stand united in our thousands � our weapons without number, our purity without question, and our hearts beating courage through our blood. And this is how they attack us?
�Brothers and sisters� A legion of beggars and alien dregs wheezes its way across the plains. Forgive me when the moment comes that they whine and weep against our walls. Forgive me that I must order you to waste ammunition upon their worthless bodies.�
Grimaldus paused, lowering his weapon at last, turning his back on the invaders as if bored by their very existence. His entire attention was focussed upon the soldiers below him.
�I have heard many souls speak my name in whispers since I came to Helsreach. I ask you now: Do you know me?�
�Yes,� several voices replied, several among the hundreds.
�Do you know me?� he bellowed at them over the firing of the wall-guns.
�Yes!� a chorus answered now.
�I am Grimaldus of the Black Templars! A brother to the Steel Legions of this defiant world!�
A muted cheer greeted his words. It wasn�t enough, not even close.
�Never again in life will your actions carry such consequence. Never again will you serve as you serve now. No duty will matter as much, and no glory will taste as true.
We are the defenders of Helsreach. On this day, we carve our legend in the flesh of every alien we slay. Will you stand with me?�
Now the cheers came in truth. They thundered in the air around him.
�Will you stand with me?�
Again, a roar.
�Sons and daughters of the Imperium! Our blood is the blood of heroes and martyrs! The xenos dare defile our city? They dare tread the sacred soil of our world?
We will throw their bodies from these walls when the final day dawns!�
A wave of noise crashed against his armour as they cheered. Grimaldus raised his war maul, aiming it to the embattled heavens.
�This is our city! This is our world! Say it! Say it! Cry it out so the bastards in orbit will hear our fury! Our city! Our world!�
�OUR CITY! OUR WORLD!�
Laughing again, Grimaldus turned to face the oncoming horde. �Run, alien dogs!
Come to me! Come to us all! Come and die in blood and fire!�
�BLOOD AND FIRE!�
The Reclusiarch cut the air with his crozius, as if ordering his men forward. �For the Templars! For the Steel Legion! For Helsreach!�
�FOR HELSREACH!�
�Louder!�
�FOR HELSREACH!�
�They cannot hear you, brothers!�
�FOR HELSREACH!�
�Hurl yourselves at these walls, inhuman filth! Die on our blades! I am Grimaldus of the Black Templars, and I will cast your carcasses from these holy walls!�
�GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS! GRIMALDUS!�
Grimaldus nodded, still staring out over the wastelands, letting the cheering chant mix with the howling wind, knowing it would carry to the advancing enemy.

quote:

�We�re all dead,� a voice spoke out.
�What did you say?� Commissar Falkov sneered.
�We have done all that can be done.� The protests came from an overweight lieutenant in the uniform of the conscripted militia forces. He was calm, sanguine even, speaking with what he hoped was measured wisdom. �Throne, three hundred enemy vessels? My men are stationed at the docks, and we know what we can do there. But the defences are as thin as� as� drat it, there are no defences there. We must evacuate the city, surely. We�ve done all we can.�
Commissar Falkov�s dark stormcoat swished as he reached for his sidearm. He never got the chance to execute the lieutenant for cowardice. A snarling, immense blur of blackness sliced across the room. With a crash, the lieutenant was slammed back against the wall, held a metre off the ground, short legs kicking, as the Reclusiarch gripped his throat in one hand.
�Thirty-six days, you wretched worm. Thirty-six days of defiance, and thousands upon thousands of heroes lie dead. You dare speak of retreat when the day finally comes for you to spill the enemy�s blood?�
The lieutenant gagged as he was strangled. Colonel Sarren, Cyria Tyro and the other officers watched in silence. No one turned away.
�Hnk. Agh. Ss.� He fought for breath that wouldn�t come as he stared into the silver replica of the God-Emperor�s death mask. Grimaldus leaned closer, his skulled face leering, blocking out all other sight.
�Where would you run, coward? Where would you hide that the Emperor would not see your shame and spit on your soul when your worthless life is finally at an end? �
�Pl� Please.�
�Do not shame yourself further by begging for a life you do not deserve.�
Grimaldus tensed his hand, his fingers snapping closed with wet snaps. In his grip, the lieutenant went into spasms, then thumped to the floor as the knight released his grip. The Reclusiarch strode back to the table, ignoring the fallen body.
It took several seconds for conversation to resume. When it did, Falkov saluted the Reclusiarch. Grimaldus ignored it.

I love this poo poo.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 08:57

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

Kinda want to use find/replace in lone survivor and change seals to space marines and afghans to orks

# ? Oct 29, 2015 19:44

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

This was payback time for the World Trade Center. We were coming after the orks who did it. If not the actual orks, then their blood brothers, the lunatics who still wished us dead and might try it again.

Good-byes tend to be curt among Space Marines. A quick back�slap, a friendly bear hug, no one uttering what we're all thinking:

Here we go again, guys, going to war, to another trouble spot, another half-a**ed enemy xeno to try their luck against us . . . they must be out of their minds.

It's a Space Marine thing, our unspoken invincibility, the silent code of the elite warriors of the Imperium of man. Big, fast, highly trained guys, armed to the teeth, expert in unarmed combat, so stealthy no one ever hears us coming. Space Marines are masters of strategy, professional marksmen with bolters, artists with chain guns, and, if necessary, pretty handy with knives. In general terms, we believe there are very few of the Imperium's problems we could not solve with high explosive or a well-aimed bullet.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 20:17

The Rat: Aug 29, 2004; You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Needs more "glorious crusade of righteous genocide."

# ? Oct 30, 2015 00:11

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

OK, Rat. I read some and that poo poo's alright. Thanks

# ? Oct 30, 2015 01:59

Sauer: Sep 13, 2005; Socialize Everything!

Is the Navy Working Uniform specifically designed to make it impossible to locate a man overboard?

# ? Oct 30, 2015 02:34

Nwabudike Morgan: Dec 31, 2007

Sauer posted:

Is the Navy Working Uniform specifically designed to make it impossible to locate a man overboard?

yes

# ? Oct 30, 2015 04:54

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

The Rat posted:

The author of that, Aaron Dembski-Bowden, is legit good. He only writes 40k stuff though, so it makes him kind of hard to recommend to non-40k goons. This one is probably the best stand-alone novel that isn't part of some larger series.

I love this poo poo.

# ? Oct 30, 2015 06:18

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Reverand maynard posted:

This was payback time for the World Trade Center. We were coming after the orks who did it. If not the actual orks, then their blood brothers, the lunatics who still wished us dead and might try it again.

Good-byes tend to be curt among Space Marines. A quick back�slap, a friendly bear hug, no one uttering what we're all thinking:

Here we go again, guys, going to war, to another trouble spot, another half-a**ed enemy xeno to try their luck against us . . . they must be out of their minds.

It's a Space Marine thing, our unspoken invincibility, the silent code of the elite warriors of the Imperium of man. Big, fast, highly trained guys, armed to the teeth, expert in unarmed combat, so stealthy no one ever hears us coming. Space Marines are masters of strategy, professional marksmen with bolters, artists with chain guns, and, if necessary, pretty handy with knives. In general terms, we believe there are very few of the Imperium's problems we could not solve with high explosive or a well-aimed bullet.

wait is this seriously lone survivor's writing (ignoring the orks and space marine things)

# ? Oct 30, 2015 07:24

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

wait is this seriously lone survivor's writing (ignoring the orks and space marine things)

yes

# ? Oct 30, 2015 07:35

Force de Fappe: Nov 7, 2008

Blood for the Blood God

# ? Oct 30, 2015 18:33

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

Sauer posted:

Is the Navy Working Uniform specifically designed to make it impossible to locate a man overboard?

Its their only way out

# ? Oct 30, 2015 22:19

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

wait is this seriously lone survivor's writing (ignoring the orks and space marine things)

lol when people rip on on all the SEAL "biographies" like Lone Survivor/whatever the Osama book is called/etc for being insanely overwrought right-wing patriot fan-fic kill all the browns porn, they aren't exaggerating in the slightest.

Marcus Luttrell on multiple occasions in the book references 9/11 in regards to Iraq because even if they didn't actually do it they're all muds and they were probably plotting something anyway so gently caress it let's kill 'em all bra

# ? Oct 31, 2015 23:14

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

iyaayas01 posted:

even if they didn't actually do it they're all muds and they were probably plotting something anyway so gently caress it let's kill 'em all bra

agreed

# ? Nov 1, 2015 01:50

Helldump Immunity.: Aug 2, 2013; Fuck you

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

agreed

# ? Nov 1, 2015 02:23

Blackchamber: Jan 25, 2005

I was volunteering for SEAL training for like 2 weeks or something, pretending to be a 'bad guy', which on the last night was them giving me a paintball gun and me camping. Anyways I took a leak on a bush and was walking back when they shot me and I played dead. I'm pretty sure a Navy SEAL saw my junk in night vision and I never saw him so I don't know if he was wearing camo but I don't think so. Hope that helps.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:01