Platystemon posted:

Fist‐sized rock is the original disposable weapon.

The Lone Badger posted:

Disagree. A good murderin’ rock was a valuable tool and would be kept.

thepopmonster posted:

The minimum size of an Olympic swimming pool is 50mx25mx2m deep (depth is minimum 2m, other dimensions are fixed). That's 660,430 gallons.

Santa canonically drinks from a glass of milk in each household he visits when it is left out for him; that's probably an average of at least 2 fl oz per glass, or 64 households/gallon, or at most 42 million milk-houses per swimming pool.

There are about 24m children 5 and under in the US this year. Two-or-more child households, lactose intolerance, and that only 75% of US households have a Christmas tree (presumably, those without a tree don't propriate Santa) cut the number of milk offerings down a bit, but if we assume 2.1 million households do this (slightly less than 1 in 10) then the US contribution to the Calculated Pool Index of Santa Swallowing is probably at least 0.05 pools/year, so Santa goes through a minimum of 5 pools/century.

It takes between 20-30 minutes for water to go from mouth to bladder, and Santa's schedule is very tight - he's not going to be able to stop for a break. Fortunately, we have documentation that Santa has a method for storing things that would otherwise be impossible to transport, so we can confidently conclude that Santa's pee is stored in his sacks.

ultrafilter posted:

Bar Ran Dun posted:

Most “Olympic“ pools in the US are actually 50m by 25 yards so that both short course and long course events can be held in the pool.

Karate Bastard posted:

Gets hosed up on milk and passes out in a coma for 364 days straight

Splicer posted:

St Nicholas lived in Turkey, which in 2022 had a 69% (not a joke that's the actual number) lactose intolerance rate. He was at least partially of Greek descent, 55% current lactose intolerance rate. Even at 2oz a glass the most statistically likely scenario is that his reindeer are just a bootstrapping system to get him to the first few hundred houses, after which each fireplace/chimney at which point he has built up enough fuel for the chimneys to serve as ignition point, launch route, and subsequent catch tunnel.

steinrokkan posted:

Obviously "milk" is a mistranslation and what Santa Claus really wants is yogurt or ayran.

Dongicus posted:

think i might because this set is ugly as sin lol

Wormskull posted:

Nice marmot.

Dongicus posted:

Thank you but it's actually a Beaver.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Autisanal Cheese posted:

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

Wow, two things are old. I can't belive it...

HopperUK posted:

We always used to put sherry out for Santa along with some carrots for the reindeer.

e: so by the time he gets to the US he's proper hosed up

Rappaport posted:

Who decides which way he goes? Time zones?

Karate Bastard posted:

He gets 6 hours of straight vodka and krokodil, poor sod

emotional fascist posted:

hello. i am taking a statsitics class and the only way i can access the program i need to use is at the univ library. however, i would rather just do this at home on my computer. you can imagine how much the lab here stinks like tommy cologne and such. anyway, if any of you have any idea as to how i could track this down, or perhaps have a copy yourself, i would greatly appreciate it.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Rappaport posted:

Who decides which way he goes? Time zones?

EorayMel posted:

Warez request on first day. Sometimes he licks the feet of men wearing Tommy Cologne.

Heath posted:

lol check out the perma guy's rap sheet on that page.

Milo and POTUS posted:

I don't have archives. Do I really want to know

Milo and POTUS posted:

I don't have archives. Do I really want to know

Milo and POTUS posted:

I don't have archives. Do I really want to know

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted: