Lutha Mahtin posted:

im permabanned poster poperstomper95. i first started reading ephesians when i was about 12. by 14 i got really obsessed with the concept of “grace” and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like “i got your good works right here pal” and “i love making GBS threads inside the pope's hat” in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing things in the corners of my eyes etc, basically beer-induced schizophrenia. im now on a diet of worms. i always wondered what the kind of “ironic” style of latin humor was all about; i think it’s the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who “get” latin to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to wearing silly robes. peace.

Rodrigo Diaz posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A TOME INTO THE LECTERN. IT’S THE BOOK IF HOURS AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE PRAYERS ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, CHRIST. I DO EVERY PRAYER AND I DO EVERY PRAYER HARD. MAKIN ALLELUIAH SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME "LORD HAVE MERCY"S OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP THE PSALM. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY SANG CHRISTENDOM'S MOST PIOUS HYMNS. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY SEMINARY CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN SEMINARY CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY CHURCH LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 9 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

logikv9 posted:

Captain_Maclaine posted:

There will probably also be a toxx thread for third party no-hopers, though honestly I can't imagine anyone really cares outside those sadly deluded souls who want Bernie to throw away everything he's won so far on a hopeless vanity run as an independent.

1. FOR gently caress'S SAKE, DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING AND EAGER TO RISK GETTING BANNED ANYONE WHO POSTS IN THIS THREAD OTHER THAN THE OP WILL BE BANNED IF AN INDEPENDENT OR THIRD-PARTY CANDIDATE DOES NOT WIN IN NOVEMBER.
   
2. Let me rephrase: DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD AT ALL AFTER THE OP. YOU WILL NOT WIN. YOU WILL GET BANNED.
   
3. This includes, but is not limited to, the following candidates/parties:
   Any Independent Candidates
   Jill Stein, Green Party
   Gary Johnson, Libertarian Party
   American Independence Party
   Constitution Party
   Peace & Freedom Party
   Reform Party USA
   Any many other weirdos from this list.
   
4. If you decide to throw away your money, then posters in this thread can enjoy a regulated space where they can freely discuss why they've decided to get banned, with no dissenting voices (because you're all doomed upon entering)
   

With that said, if this thread gets any seriousposts at all then I pray for your soul

peeper posted:

Tikitht=]GIrhuyhu::=originalityyttr=ft

peeper posted:

Of all the threads to pocket post in.

Big time RIP for this unfortunate soul. — H. Explainer

BOOTY-ADE posted:

And they're both the same but maybe ? Or is the joke that a bunch of goons never paid attention grade-school English class?

Thermos H Christ posted:

Mega64 posted:

Current event threads make my head hurt and it's a pain to moderate them because everyone is super-passionate about their dumb opinions, but obviously I don't want to simply gas the thread. Let's try this instead.

EVERY POST FROM HERE ON OUT MUST START WITH "My dear friends," OR YOU WILL BE PROBATED.

Grandmother of Five posted:

Search results specific to the E/N On-line Dating thread

First date: 223
Second date: 92
DOTA: 55
Third date: 39

Scratch Monkey posted:

Leavemywife posted:

So, they're now doing a gender-swap Popeye.

Sponge Baathist posted:

You get really fuckin swole on a diet that's nothing but eating Olive Oyl all day

Stoatbringer posted:

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

earnest discussion of why liking turn-based RPGs is inherently racist

The Phlegmatist posted:

okay sure (this is also what I think of most genre fiction)

"Let's do this"
"Aye, onneleigh as' ret as ye erre."

Fizzlewort von Science Fiction Name looked over to his loyal companion, Thruddsworth. He had once been a simple haberdasher; short and stocky and rather ugly. Once Magic had entered into the World of Science Fiction Fantasy Name, he had changed. Rapidly. His beard grew. He started speaking in a thick Scottish accent. Gained an affinity for machines and a +1 on his Fortitude saves.

The ominous citadel doors in front of them were foreboding. And made of marble. Thruddsworth raised his right hand, covered in a steam-powered gauntlet that was also +2 against werewolves and possibly from the Old Races spoken of in Chapter 2, against the keypad of the door. He slowly depressed a button on his gauntlet, and his hand sprung into action of its own accord. Up. Down. Up and to the left. At once, cutting over again, immediately, to the right. The signum crucis. An ancient symbol, its meaning unknown.

The doors groaned open. The inside was filled with strange new things; icons, crucifixes, funny hats. Wondrous treasures from the Old Races. They couldn't believe their luck. But lo, who draws near but a bearded man in a polo shirt and khakis.

"Who goes there?" said Fizzlewort.

The bearded man looked at them in contempt and said "actually, slavery was a fair institution and the Holocaust wasn't real."

"Erin go braugh we'd meddled inte some Orthodox Facebook group, e're man fer he's self!"

Hihohe posted:

Who was that one guy who didnt realized he was lactose Intolerant and asked goons why he was having horrible shits and goons figured out that everything he ate had cheese in it?

Sagebrush posted:

it's awfully derivative of "barack is now the size of an oak tree" but I give it a solid B+ to A- regardless.

the old ceremony posted:

anyway this went on for many years and there was only ever one occasion where i was allowed to play on a weekday without being watched, and that was when i was home sick from school on september 11, 2001. so to this day i associate spyro 1 and 2 with mild domestic terror, and spyro 3 with the death of thousands and the grisly dreadful birth of the twenty first century

Picnic Princess posted:

🗣🤚 HEY ALL U DOWN⬇️TRODDEN👞 TWERKING👔🍑 CLASS‼️ MARX 🎅 YOUR CALENDARS ✔️📅 BC IT'S TIME 💁⏰ FOR THE HO-LETARIAN 🍆🕳 REVOLUTION ✊️ RISE UP ⬆️✊✊✊ AND SEIZE 🙌 THE MEANS 🛠 OF PROFUCKTION 😩💦🍆 OVERTHROW THE PETTY 😒FAPITALIST 👊🍆🎩💰 SWINE 🐷🐽 AND ABOLISH 🙅 SOCIAL CL🍑rear end🍑 SEND THIS ➡️ TO 🔟 OF YOUR FELLOW 👯 LABORERS 🔨😞 IF U GET 1️⃣ BACK THEN UR 1️⃣ OF THE BOURGEOISE 😱🎩💰💵 IF U GET 5️⃣ BACK THEN UR PART OF THE 👙👄 REV-HO-LUTION 👠😘 IF U GET 🔟 BACK U GET A SEXXY 💋💋💋 VISIT FROM DADDY 😩💦 STALIN 👨🏻‼️😍 HIMSELF

The Saddest Rhino posted:

📣📣 now this one 👌👌 is for my 💯 HOE-letariat bitches 😩🔥you have nothing 🚫🚫 to lose 📣 but your chains 💦💦 and your clothes 😩🙈 so let's share 👀 the means of reproduction 💦💯and lemme hammer 🙈🙈 your sickle 😩💦quit stalin' and send this 📣 to ten other 💦cummie commies™ 💦who need to be freed 🙈🙈 tonight 😩😩 get 0 back 🚫🚫 and it's straight 👀 into the 👀 gulag for you 📣📣 get 10 back 💯 and you're marx's 👀 little cum slut 💦😼 get 15 back and lenin 😏😩 will revolutionize 👌 your pussy 😼🙈👀 get 20 back 😮 and you'll explode 💦🌊 like chernobyl 😩👌

Two Feet From Bread posted:

No. I thought JKR implied that Dumbledore had a 'more than friends' relationship with Hagrid. Why else would you give a convicted child murder a job at the same place he committed child murder in?

I mean, even if the big D knew it wasn't really Hagrid that murdered the girl, wizard court still convicted him and upheld the conviction. Even a wizard principal would have to pull massive strings to let Hagrid on school ground. Let alone give him a job with children. Why do that unless you wanted easy access to him?

DontMockMySmock posted:

7/11 was a part-time job

SpacePig posted:

Basically bring back all of the wordfilters. The ones we had for "im gay" and "cuck" for a week or so were pretty great, and I miss them.

quote:

Q: Sir, the same woman who worked for you, Esmeralda, she was also in New York with Edith and Alexandra, wasn't she?
A: She was with somebody. I don't remember now who it was.
Q: You don't remember whether it was Esmeralda or not?
A: All I remember is I walked into the room. I opened the door and this woman standing there totally nude, totally nude.
Q: That is all you remember?
A: And she said, boy, you are going to have the best time that you ever had in your life. And then she just walked over to the bed. She laid there. Spread her legs out. And it was the most incredible sight. It was exciting, and it was stimulating.
Q: So you didn't forget about that particular experience?
A: A man doesn't forget about it because I never had an experience when I opened the door in a hotel room adn the girl was standing there stark nude, you know, with her hands up in the air. You know, boy, am I waiting for you

Solice Kirsk posted:

Speaking of spoilers, was the new Blade Runner actually worth seeing?

purple death ray posted:

We're talking about the first replies that get empty quoted for pages?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3671251&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

This is my favorite one on the whole forum

canyoneer posted:

Former DILF posted:

This is kinda offtopic but I don’t know anywhere else to post this


I once hooked up with a lady only because she looked like Carl II of spain lmao

She shot up with meth before and I busted so quick

EorayMel posted: