corn in the bible posted:

i like my bands in business suits, i watch them on youtube,

Koyaanisgoatse posted:

from the incels thread

Solice Kirsk posted:

So, I determined that there's a few ways to look at whether semen or pineapple would be better on a ham pizza. Flavor, nutritional benefit, and visual appeal. Since there's those three I determined that I'm going to write this post in the traditional 5 paragraph style as taught in all US 4th grade classrooms.


SEMEN OR PINEAPPLE, WHICH IS BEST OR; OUR FRIEND THE PIZZA TOPPING

Pizza has been around since the early 10th century according to Wikipedia, which I believe is sometime in the 1700's. Over the years there have been many pizza topping and even more pizza rules, but as time has moved on into a more enlightened era we now know that there are no pizza rules. Since the dissolution of the pizza rules there has been an increase in odd topping combinations, and none has seen the backlash quite as much as the pineapple/semen with ham debate. Over the next few paragraphs I will go over the differences and benefits of both toppings in the pairing with ham in the categories of flavor, nutritional value, and visual appeal.

First, of all pineapple would make a better pairing with ham since it is sweet and the ham will be salty. Add the acidity of the tomato sauce and the creaminess of the cheese and you have a fairly well balanced flavor profile. With semen, however, there will be two different salty flavors competing on top of the cheese and tomato sauce. Either one would fill the roll well enough on it's own and therefore both do not need to be included on a single pizza. In this category pineapple is a clear winner.

Secondly, pineapple has a lot more nutritional value as compared to semen. Take a look:



A great source of vitamin C and decent amounts of iron, vitamin A, and calcium. The serving size is measured in grams, and being an American I'm not quite sure how much of a pineapple is represented by 165g, so I'm assuming it's about 4-5 "chunks" worth. Compare that to the nutritional value of semen as determined by Gawker:



Almost no nutritional value at all besides zinc and copper, both of which are better for making sinks than for contributing to an active bodies needs. The serving size is much smaller (I'm assuming) than the 165g of pineapple, so there probably going to be several "loads" worth on a pizza of any decent size, but will still not come (heh) close to the caloric or nutritional value of pineapple. Pinapple wins this one as well.

Thirdly, there's the visual appeal. Pineapple has a yellowy color that will contrast well with the pink hue of ham. Placed along side the brown and white of the cheese and the red of the underlying tomato sauce and you have a visually pleasing arrangement of colors that dazzle the eye as well as intrigue the taste buds. Semen is a whitish color and therefore will be competing with the cheese for visual attention. It will also be drizzled or glopped on after cooking which doesn't give the same sort of cohesiveness of a topping that was baked along with the rest of the pizza. Pineapple is yet again the clear winner of this category.

In conclusion, the obvious and only logical choice of pizza topping between semen and pineapple is semen because I'm gay.

Oddhair posted:

I searched "air force threadid:3695000"

CzarChasm posted:

Please tell me that's MrBibs in the middle

Dabir posted:

Pretty sneaky.

InequalityGodzilla posted:

Speaking from some personal experience getting stabbed loving sucks, and is painful as hell, but unless you stab a person a whole lot or manage to get a good cut in on an artery they will probably survive, especially if they get medical attention relatively quickly.

Burt Sexual posted:

How'd you guys get stabbied?

Spanish Manlove posted:

That's the weirdest interpretation of pegging I've ever seen.

Subjunctive posted:

It sounds like you metaled in that event.

InequalityGodzilla posted:

Hooooly poo poo, same! Did we date the same girl? Do you know Alicia?

InequalityGodzilla posted:

Ah, mine was Alicia in '09. Pretty sure in '99 She would have been like...10? So probably not the same.

Unless...

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Trig Discipline posted:

Awful app should be dictation-only so we can watch mobile users call each other collapsible figs and forking retreads.

Screaming Idiot posted:

Pfft all you mods look alike to me

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Dudes with long hair who take care of it generally actually do think it's hilarious when catcalling bros freak the gently caress out upon realizing they just wolf-whistled at a guy.

Trig Discipline posted:

Hey does anyone have that post from the dude who was into edging while skating around the neighborhood on a specific cocktail of drugs with some sort of clacker thing up his rear end?

Mr. Bad Guy posted:

On a real note, it was surprisingly difficult to find a picture that satisfied my requirements. It had to be similar to Pastry's previous avatar, but the food product in question is so rarely plated as a single item. To be clear, I didn't buy his new avatar, I just suggested the picture, which another goon cleaned up for avatar use.

Sir Lemming posted:

A man and his date are dog rapists.

Burt Sexual posted:

The very first page it all fell apart. That was fun.

New Zealand can eat me posted:

There's an alt key on the left side of your spacebar, too

A Buttery Pastry posted:

Yeah, you should never go alt-right.

jeremiah johnson posted:

Solice Kirsk posted:

The dude with one arm and a panther tattoo?

Spanish Manlove posted:

People must be confusing it with the gi jo dirtbag thing

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3048978