Sagebrush posted:

anthony burgess made up all the slang in A Clockwork Orange specifically so it would be impossible to date. it worked pretty well imo.

Trig Discipline posted:

speaking of impossible to date, how you doin

The MSJ posted:

Improbable Lobster posted:

Smythe posted:

LOVE long pubes! Love to make a big snort and pull them into my sinuses. Like to feel them wrap around the boogers and yank on them when im sucking cock. then, when the load comes and blows me back - the hairs rip them boogies right out like a tooth to a string to a doorknob.

Smythe posted:

i like to stretch my balls out with fish hooks and bungee cords behind my rear end and dump into them like sardines falling onto a tarp

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

One of the best was the (French Canadian?) guy years ago (like 2004) with the 'special' brother who would instantly vomit if he saw soup or something and tried to have sex with birds(?) because the ms paints along with it were just hilarious. I'm sure i have some saved that I'll dig up when I'm not phone psoting.

Aphrodite posted:

Yeah but that story had a happy ending with the brother's marriage to Blue Story.

RyokoTK posted:

Eh have you actually played Daikatana?

There's been this weird trend in the Early FPS thread in Games of people trying Daikatana out of morbid curiosity. It actually got an official patch relatively recently with some QOL stuff.

People consistently discover that, yeah, the game is actually that bad. It is a bad game in every atom of its conception. It's not quirky bad, it's not cute bad, it's not so bad it's good. It's just really, really bad.

DNF is bad too, but it's just a combination of generically bad and monumentally disappointing. Divorced from the hype, it's cheap and forgettable. Daikatana transcends that.

RyokoTK posted:

Depending on who you ask, the cut-off for early FPS (as far as that thread is concerned) is usually somewhere between Halo and Half-Life 2. But we'll pretty happily talk about FPS games that resemble older FPS games, like Bioshock or DO4M.

RyokoTK posted:

Also, Daikatana was headed up by John Romero, so the direct connection to classic Doom makes it a good topic for the thread anyway.

Spanish Manlove posted:

Anybody have the "deconstrivist humor, when done well" post that was the FYAD title for a while?

Ableist Kinkshamer posted:

deconstructivist humour, while sometimes funny when done well, is intellectually lazy. it is a prime example of having your cake and eating it too, there's always another layer of irony to retreat to should someone not get the joke, or be offended by it. it is a method of inuring oneself to criticism: the criticism was anticipated and is part of the joke. the problem is that the nested insincerity of this form robs it of any real insight, it just becomes "i know how to annoy you". there's no social commentary because the nature of the medium prevents you from tipping your hand and expressing your beliefs beyond bland hatred. i think, ironically, the comedy arms race to be the most knowing blinds them to broader awareness, and indeed their self-awareness stops at the end of their noses.

DudeGoofyGuy posted:

I was trying to find the origins of Microwave's mom in the SAclopedia, and it linked me to what I am pretty sure is the original DNF thread that nobody is able to find right now. It ends on page 469 despite listing a non-existent page 470. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3131879&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

The MSJ posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

From the SH/SC Infosec Thread:

Rufus Ping posted:

for those who can't be bothered running it themselves:

here's a site I want to log into



Load up the bookmarklet and click fill...



whoops

Heath posted:

"Hairbrained" makes more sense to me than harebrained.

NTT posted:

The whole thread is good

no they will not posted:

I.N.R.I posted:

Just got done applying techniques i read in the Kama Sutra to a MILFs pussy and rear end in a top hat. I read a .pdf file of it at work on DL. What can I say ... Ive already played all the flash games on newgrounds lol. Ive matured with age and decided its better to loving educate myself instead and learn something before the heat death of the universe, life is basically meaningless so i have lots of sex because whats the point. Thats another thing, ladies love classy well read guys so buy a lot of books on your kindle and read them either in full or partially and then skip to the end so it says you read 100% of it on the GUI, that means general user interface which is what computers have so stupid people can use them. not that the women i have sex with are stupid or anything, actually theyre really interesting. semen comes out of my dick after i rub it on women for a while. i care about them which improves the cumming experience. the new iphone doesnt have a dedicated headphone jack

Guy Mann posted:

In mere hours GBS went from a place that made fun of safe spaces and bragged about being the place where you lose your little case of Dunning-Kruger to a place where people were outraged at losing their safe space and swearing that they were big, important people that the site couldn't afford to lose. You can't put a price on such degrees of delicious

Moon Atari posted:

Even as an oglaf fan it took me a few seconds to parse this sentence, in which time my brain imagined several different scavenger hunts based on different interpretations of the ambiguous grammar.

C-Euro posted:

If I may ask, who's ODB and how did he lose his life to the slums? Or did he just get banned?

Gatekeeper posted:

when I was very young my parents had a German Shepherd named Atilla who wasn't wild about kids, especially an annoying lil kid like me who was always pulling his ears and tail and trying to ride on him. when my sister was born, Atilla really hated having two annoying children around and he started to get pretty grumpy, eventually snapping at my sister and almost biting her. my dad worked with a guy who lived on a farm, like a real deal farm with acres of land and lots of chickens and cows and horses and poo poo. Atilla went to live on this farm and enjoyed a long happy life of chasing chickens and rabbits and running free through the corn fields and poo poo.

And what did my parents tell me, to explain Atilla's absence? "Atilla got sick, so we had to put him to sleep." I only learned the truth as a teenager when my godmother was visiting and asked about Atilla and my mom slipped and said "oh yeah he passed away a couple of years ago". I was like "wtf I thought he died when I was five??"

i'm the only kid who's dog actually went to live on a farm, but who's parents told him the dog was put to sleep. I guess their reasoning was something like they didn't want me to resent my little sister for being the reason why we had to give away the dog, but I still think it's hilarious that they did the exact opposite of every other parent and let me cry over my "dead" dog who had literally gone to live on a farm

Take the plunge! Okay! posted:

Svetlana Alexievich is good, but I don’t know how much more human misery I can take after a few hundred pages.

Mel Mudkiper posted:

A man who reads about Eastern Europe and is not prepared for incomparable human misery

Take the plunge! Okay! posted:

Dude, I live in Eastern Europe

WeThinkWeKnowYou posted:

I asked my wife what she thought about my posting here.

In her words, "That whole forums a pussy, just waiting to get hosed. By you, my champion."

Then we hosed HARD for two straight hours, with the bedroom windows wide open, and all our neighbors clapped and cheered and threw roses at our apartment.

I love her so much.

Carthag Tuek posted:

i actually edited in like "i guess this is c/p from before we got quote links

apparently it didnt go through, or i dreamt it wtf

Bicyclops posted:

had a dream last night that there was this new, AAA hit where you had to go through rooms in a mansion and exorcise ghosts. the actual exorcism was just mashing a button (with the exact same feeling as Oil Barons in yakuza kiwami 2's cabaret club), but you had to set up for each encounter by organizing a bunch of your character's memories and thoughts in a way that would make the ghosts hate staying in the world of the living. the throught/memory organization menu looked just like Sim Tower. i got so good at the game that i was the current world record for speedrunning it. the final ghost was called Jilted Lover and the way to win was to search the internet for the most disgusting porn possible and arrange it into the thought tower, because any kind of sex upset her.

the way streaming worked in the dream, people could video call into the stream and make comments on the run, and i was miserable because all of my calls were people wearing masks and screaming into their microphone that i was a horrible person for calling their particular fetishes "disgusting" and for supporting a kinkshaming video game. some group of foot fetish people in particular organized "raids" of my streaming channel to spam foot fetish porn. at one point i made a disgusted face and said "jeez, i'm starting to feel like the ghost here!" and that became a meme that people would use to react to anything they didn't like. i hated that i was suddenly well known for for what porn i thought was disgusting, but i really liked playing the game. i was so good at it and beating my own record periodically felt like it does when you break through a difficulty wall in a souls game. then, somehow, the final ghost starting transmitting porn back into MY brain and i couldn't make the game stop. she was laughing like this had been her plan the whole time. i woke up when she started transmitting nudes of my ex girlfriend.

Gripweed posted:

For some reason I have a very strong feeling that 2020 is gonna be wild as hell.Like that old "may you live in interesting times" meme. At best we're all gonna get like one month to get really into the crafting in new Animal Crossing before we're all running for our lives from a forest fire or making molotov cocktails or starting construction on the Fuller Dome to house our self-sufficient furry polycule farm. One year from now everybody is gonna be much better or worse off. And frankly I'm here for it.

Mister Fister posted:

Remember when SA went full on retard with the woke poo poo... but it was 'supposed to be ironic'... but then somehow became unironic and infected virtually every other corner of the internet?

Is twitter going to replace the woke idiots with literal authoritarians who want to kill everyone they don't like? Hell, i remember when i was cracking jokes about gulags and guillotines back in the day here, but apparently, some of you retards took that seriously.

Jesus loving Christ.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

cumshitter posted:

cumbo. the story of a brave little elephant who loves to shoot big thick rear end ropes

EorayMel posted:

Have a really low power level; best friend has a higher power level than me

Blue Footed Booby posted:

Like, there's stuff in his rap sheet that wouldn't be punished today, but there's also, uh, stuff like the above.

quote:

Yeah this thing is mega-dumb. Space travel in general is loving dumb and I wish people would just forget about it. I was glad when the Challenger exploded because it meant the end of space travel and we could just move on.

quote:

At least it's white people who are suffering for once. Not that that makes it okay, but compare this to Katrina where it was mostly black people who suffered the most; that isn't the case here. Yeah, nobody deserves for this to happen, but it IS a red state and they ARE notoriously racist and religiously extreme, so...I dunno, I guess it could be worse.

VV

quote:

I hate to say it, but there really are certain groups of people that are okay to treat like poo poo. Basically anyone who's not a member of an oppressed group, and by 'oppressed group', I mean people who are non-white, non-cis male, non-heterosexual, non-Christian, non-middle class or higher, etc. People with weird-rear end fetishes aren't an oppressed group, so gently caress them. I've talked about this before when it comes to childhood bullying, too. The only kind of bullying that actually matters is where the victims are being targeted for their race (non-white), sexual orientation, religion, class, or because of mysogyny and/or gender policing. Fat white boys getting mocked for being fat white boys is NOT a social justice issue and not something worth considering in light of other, more serious forms of bullying.

quote:

OP, I'm going to assume you are white and heterosexual, correct? If that's the case, then you have no right to be depressed. You have every advantage in society, and yet you're still a failure. Who's fault is that? Why are you overweight? Why do you have no friends? These things are 100% under your control. If you are unable to achieve success despite being a straight white male, then you need to look at the very real possibility that you actually are inferior to others. Nobody owes you anything, and you need to take responsibility for your life. Sorry if this is harsh, but you're yet another fat white boy crying about how depressed you are and I'm sick of it. There are people (minorities and women) who put up with so much worse poo poo than you ever will, and yet they persevere. They persevere because they're stronger and better than you are, OP. I don't care if you were picked on and ostracised as a kid: it's okay for people to treat you like garbage if you actually are garbage. It's up to you to snap out of your depression and take control of your life. Noone is holding you back except yourself. Stop being such a shut-in loser and stop being so weak.

Good luck.

BlankSystemDaemon posted:

That's not funny at all.

Hedrigall posted:

It’s Christmas, can we have some positive and heartwarming sagas and nothing about forums you don’t like or posting enemies

oldpainless posted:

I’ve got one and it actually happened around Christmas 4 years ago. I was married for 9 years and long story short the marriage fell apart and my wife left me on December 19th. I wasn’t close to my family but was extremely close with hers so I not only lost her but really the only family I had at that time. I immediately got super depressed and started drinking pretty much non stop and took some time off work and shut myself up in my new apartment because she got the house. I basically stayed in and drank and cried and wallowed in misery. I still posted on here and I have no idea how because I didn’t bring it up on here but someone must have sensed, if that’s possible through a screen, that I was seriously hosed up and basically drinking myself to death because I got a private message saying that I seemed different and they wanted to know if I was ok. I don’t really do private messages on here but I responded saying I was just going through a bad time and I guess the anonymity made it easier to open up because i just opened up and wrote this long rear end letter about everything and how I felt and how I never should have lost her and how loving bleak everything seemed and they wrote back like 5 minutes later so I guess they were waiting for me and i truly believe this poster helped me out more than they will ever know. I’ll copy and paste what they said and at the bottom put who it was because they still post here frequently and I never really thanked them for possibly saving my life

have you tried playing RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS? It’s the hot new game everyone is playing. The intense graphics, thrilling gameplay and deep storyline makes it an easy GOTY. Between the constant updates to the already perfect gameplay and the welcoming community it’s practically a crime to pass it by. Give it a chance and you’ll be hooked.

RAID: SHADOW LEGENDS

Heath posted:

Shoulda quoted the whole post

This was in response to someone calling the Violence Against Women Act an objectively good piece of legislation

I love it, it's like purestrain 2012 peak Reddit brain