- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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This movie is going to be the spiritual sequel to Avatar.
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Nov 9, 2015 03:20
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May 19, 2024 06:56
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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The subtitle of this thread should be renamed "Tides of Autism".
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Nov 10, 2015 09:38
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiCkPKAncFY
Movie status: Confirmed poo poo.
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Mar 19, 2016 22:59
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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I'm predicting that this will earn less than a 20% RT score and below $50M domestic.
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Mar 23, 2016 03:36
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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lol how bad do you think this movie is going to ruin Duncan Jones' career when it bombs
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Mar 25, 2016 06:18
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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The Conjuring 2 is going to crush this stinking turd on opening weekend.
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Jun 1, 2016 21:51
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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Everyone knew this movie was going to loving suck but I kind of feel bad for Duncan Jones with the savage reviews. He seemed really passionate about this.
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Jun 3, 2016 07:34
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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Is there a post-credits scene?
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Jun 7, 2016 07:13
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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Just got done seeing this movie. If you don't already like Warcraft, if you're not familiar with the lore and world, then don't bother seeing this movie. You will absolutely not like it. Warcraft fans will enjoy it though.
Is green Paula Patton hot enough for the $10?
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Jun 9, 2016 05:56
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May 19, 2024 06:56
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- Immortan
- Jun 6, 2015
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by Shine
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OK so now I'm going to write a bunch about Warcraft.
I went to the store on November 23, 1994 and bought a game called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans, which I anticipated for months and months after getting the demo on the PC Gamer CD. I also bought WC2 and WC3 I've played WoW since literally the first day of closed beta back over a decade ago, not to mention every other Blizzard game since then. I went to see the movie with my friend Bruce, who is also a Blizzard and specifically a Warcraft superfan. I tell you this to let you know that when we walked into the theater, we were both as hyped as could be and hoping all the bad press was just haters hatin'.
Every time, every time, we have watched a Blizzard cinematic cutscene we have looked at each other and said something like, "Holy poo poo when are they going to make a movie?!?" Blizzard has always been head and shoulders above everyone else when it came to cinematics and IMO a lot of times their latest 5-minute CG epic blew away the best of Hollywood. I mean, look at this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlVSJ0AvZe0
That's from twelve years ago. They're just crazy, crazy good at making these things and so I was cautiously optimistic, which turned to, uh, I guess very, very cautiously optimistic when I saw how this was getting poo poo on. Then again, BvS got poo poo on, and it's legit good, so I'll make up my own mind thank you very much. We saw it on a Saturday in 2D at 10 AM and the theater was about 50% full, which is roughly 49% more full that it normally is for any 10 AM Saturday showing.
What we got was about 25% loving awesome Warcraft cinematic grafted onto something lit and shot like a bad TV show. The way I described it afterwards before really thinking about it was, "We'd get a few minutes of something cool as gently caress with Durotan or Gul'dan or Medivh and then we'd immediately go back to loving Garona or the loving humans for 10 minutes at a time and it would all go to complete poo poo."
So, uh... how do I even start to really talk about this movie? I still am not sure what the gently caress I saw or what happened to end up with, uh, whatever this was.
Basically everything in the movie that looked like it was done entirely in CG (the orcs, basically) or had to do with the wizards was excellent, and anything that involved the actual non-wizard human actors or loving Garona was amazingly bad, I mean just amazingly, how-in-the-gently caress-did-this-see-the-light-of-day bad. I mentioned earlier that it was lit and shot like a TV show and that's what I just keep coming back to, like someone grafted a top-end Blizzard cinematic onto an episode of Friends or something. It's seriously jarring and distracting and every time it happened it sucked me out of the movie. I'd be entering the "Warcraft zone" after 2-3 minutes of badass CG orcs fighting and then BAM flat cut to some tiny room lit with a hand-held LED from Home Depot and now I actively don't give a poo poo again could we please go back to Durotan and get away from these hideously ugly humans, Christ.
Whenever I see something like this I just think of the rooms and rooms full of competent professional adults signing off on all of these bad decisions. "What's that, have a human woman use a set of what appear to be vampire teeth from a TG&Y Halloween sale in our $150,000,000+ blockbuster? OK, that sounds great! What's that, let's cast an ugly man with the charisma of a water moccasin as the King of Stormwind? Sure, good idea! Use this old half-burnt klieg light we found on Craigslist as the main lighting of the film? Sure, it will save money!" HOW DOES THIS poo poo HAPPEN!?!?!
There was one scene in particular that really stood out to me, where the fact that this was really two almost entirely different movies Frankensteined into one, a good CG one about orcs and a really, really bad live-action one about humans. Oh and that movie about humans is very badly lit, by the way.
It's the scene where Orgrim Doomhammer is talking to Gul'dan about betraying Durotan and taking the fel in front of the Frostwolf tribe. While Gul'dan is talking to him he's occasionally sucking the life force out of a human slave chained at his feet. The whole thing feels epic and weighty, it's gorgeous, and it's loving horrifying, with the poor slave shrieking and getting whiter and more awful-looking as Gul'dan sucks more and more of the life out of him. Then, suddenly, there is a flat, instant cut to a completely different scene where Garona and Lothar and King Hideously Ugly are talking (uh oh, loving Garona) and the lighting is so God-awful bad it looks like it was shot in a loving Eckerd's somewhere and Garona's teeth look ridiculous and it's just an incredibly jarring, bewildering change.
As an aside, there were a LOT of these kind of instant cuts to somewhere else with no kind of fade or wipe or scene transition at all and every single time it was jarring and looked like a mistake in editing, like there was supposed to be a transition of some kind there but there just wasn't, like they forgot to click the little icon in iMovie and change it from just a flat cut to, well, anything else. We don't need a full-blown circular wipe or something between every scene transition but every one shouldn't look like an editing mistake, for Christ's sake.
loving Garona ruins every scene she's in and, in fact, I think having her and her plot in the movie was one of the things that wrecked it. It's just... everything about her and her plot is loving terrible. She only exists to be an interpreter and a half-assed "bridge" between orcs and humans but Oh Christ everything sucks. Every time she talks you can see, literally loving SEE the weird vampire teeth prosthetic she's biting on, the aforementioned incredibly bad lighting is reflecting off her green skin, and... man I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to describe just how bad she is in this movie and I hate to admit this but I don't have the words. All I can say is that after about 30 minutes as soon as I would see her on screen I would sort of slump back in my seat and wait for it to be over so we could get back to the orcs since I actually gave a poo poo about them and they didn't have a CHA score of loving zero.
It was obviously trying to establish characters for a sequel ("This war is just beginning!" Thrall-Moses, etc) but man, I don't know that they're going to get a chance, because while I wanted to love this it's just a turd. Every scene that doesn't have an orc or a wizard in it is atrociously bad.
gently caress this movie. The best I can say about it is that if you lifted 4-5 of the CG scenes from it and got a different plot, script, dialogue, director, actors, cast, crew, and oh yeah some loving lighting technicians it could have maybe been really good. There were parts of it I legitimately really liked, but when I spend 2/3 of the movie staring at the screen with my brain yammering "how did this happen oh my god what is this poo poo are those vampire teeth why are they letting the orc prisoner get next to the King of Stormwind oh God why is he so ugly and upsetting when can we get back to the orcs oh poo poo here's Garona again wait Medivh's evil now but why oh gently caress just look at this lighting are they holding up a 60 watt bulb or something" then gently caress this movie. I wanted to love you, Warcraft. But you just suck so much.
Self-indulgent waaaah time: I waited a decade for this? How did this get made. How did we get a movie where we see something as awesome as a gryphon going apeshit in the middle of a bunch of orc infantry that's this loving bad. How. How did this happen. I feel about this the same way I felt about every single Harry Potter: The people who gave birth to this were involved with this and so how did this happen.
Have you ever been laid?
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 13, 2016 00:47
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Nov 9, 2015 03:20
