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Jesus Christ posted:Let me guess.... West Campus or Riverside? Riverside. I got in pretty good with the hobo community that lived under the bridge behind the Albertsons. This was like 10+ years ago and I've heard it's changed a bunch since then.
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Nov 19, 2015 17:19
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All i had yesterday was tuna, beer and codeine. Now im at work and cant stop making GBS threads.
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Nov 20, 2015 01:48
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i was a meat cutter in a gorcery store during college. no big deal, it was a college job. thing is, a lot of people dont realize that meat cutters and butchers arent the same thing. meat cutters slice pre-prepared loins and sides and such and prepare them for sale. butchers kill and slaughter the animal. i relay this information in order to tell this story. one of the other meat cutters was a huge drunk that had been a butcher in the past. like whats-his-name wrote earlier in the thread, the preferred method of killing an animal bound for butchery is pneumatic gun. pop in the temple. quick and painless death. anyway, the process was the beast was killed and it was placed in a mild incinerator in order to burn all the fur off before bleeding out and etc. (imagine the smell). anyway, one bovine caught the gun and was placed in the hair burner, except imagine this, it wasnt really dead!!! apparently the cow emerged raging, like primal raging, and nearly destroyed the entire room it was in. a couple broken bones. somebody eventually ran to the parking lot and got his gun and gunned the beast down. the company had to recoup the cows owner because the meat had been contaminated with lead.
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Nov 20, 2015 01:58
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Blue Raider posted:i was a meat cutter in a gorcery store during college. no big deal, it was a college job. thing is, a lot of people dont realize that meat cutters and butchers arent the same thing. meat cutters slice pre-prepared loins and sides and such and prepare them for sale. butchers kill and slaughter the animal. i relay this information in order to tell this story. It's like an Applewhite story except less interesting and less probation. No offense, mind, get that poo poo behind the left front trotter, into the heart. Twist.
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Nov 20, 2015 02:02
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Retract.
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Nov 20, 2015 02:02
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rejutka posted:It's like an Applewhite story except less interesting and less probation. idk. like i said i wasnt there. i also have no reason to believe it was fabricated. abattoirs are nasty places youre right though. draw a line up the back of a front leg from the side and annihilate the beast. bow hunting anyway
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Nov 20, 2015 02:04
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Booblord Zagats posted:Applewhite's story reminded me mother of god
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Nov 20, 2015 02:07
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Orkin Mang posted:mother of god The weirdest part is that exact same thing happened to me only the guy was obsessed with Herman's Head.
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Nov 20, 2015 02:19
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Blue Raider posted:i was a meat cutter in a gorcery store during college. no big deal, it was a college job. thing is, a lot of people dont realize that meat cutters and butchers arent the same thing. meat cutters slice pre-prepared loins and sides and such and prepare them for sale. butchers kill and slaughter the animal. i relay this information in order to tell this story. this reminds me of a story from nearby, a rancher's cow got loose and the dipshit cops start popping off 9mm rounds at it to subdue it, I think they managed to incapacitate this animal after a bunch of magazines and when the rancher showed up and saw his property was suffering he went to put it out of its misery the punchline is the rancher was dead before the cow, because the cops killed him before he could actually take the shot -- one deputy grabbed him by the shoulder, and hauled him around when he took aim with the weapon. it discharged and the two deputies filled him with lead
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Nov 20, 2015 03:49
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Booblord Zagats posted:Applewhite's story reminded me I love this thread.
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Nov 21, 2015 01:30
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Karate Bastard posted:I love this thread. I skipped 5 pages to post this.
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Nov 21, 2015 02:11
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When I was younger I worked construction and a guy on my crew fell about 18 feet. He broke his ankle and his orbital bone and maybe some others I'm forgetting. I didn't see the fall but I saw him on the ground making hosed up snoring noises. It wasn't pleasant.
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Nov 21, 2015 02:27
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I did a box cutter to my leg . 8 stitches. It was gross when I was 15.
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Nov 21, 2015 02:49
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Applewhite posted:Back when I worked at Krogers, we were having a "luau special" and ordered a whole pig that we were going to roast in the parking lot and serve to customers at 5.99 a plate with a side of baked beans. I know this was probably not a true thing, but nevertheless it was a great read. I feel it could be made into a movie. I am saddened that the writer was banned. Love, Vitalis
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Nov 21, 2015 03:08
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No, spido didn't write that.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:24
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the owner of the animal hospital i worked at hired a cleaning crew of mentally disabled people, one of which was his disabled daughter, as a tax dodge or something. One day I walked in on two of them having sex on top of the freezer we kept recently put-to-sleep pets in before sending them off to be cremated.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:29
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had to take a poo poo the other day but this motherfucker's ball stank was off the charts and he was blowing the toilet the gently caress up and i was getting nauseous from the sweaty balls dick cheese and rancid poo poo.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:40
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hemophilia posted:had to take a poo poo the other day but this motherfucker's ball stank was off the charts and he was blowing the toilet the gently caress up and i was getting nauseous from the sweaty balls dick cheese and rancid poo poo. dont sign your posts
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Nov 21, 2015 11:43
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Don't account share either.
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Nov 21, 2015 11:47
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So I once had a job cleaning out dead crackheads apartments for this slum lord I knew in Texas. Naturally, there were many disgusting things I saw doing this. Did you know crackheads have this bizarre habit where they cut out different parts of a woman's body from porno magazines and then glue the parts together into some Frankenstein monster ideal woman? I saw that so many times, its crazy. Anyway, when someone dies in an apartment the owner is legally obliged to replace all the appliances. So my coworker and I were removing a nasty rear end stove from the apartment and when we were getting it through the door the weight shifted back towards my coworker and ten years of nasty bugs and grim fell out from the back of the oven and into his mouth and down his shirt. He started to scream pretty much immediately and we quickly put the stove down. He then proceeded to run off while simultaneously taking off his shirt, while screaming. I never saw him again. Jim Barris fucked around with this message at 12:01 on Nov 21, 2015 |
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Nov 21, 2015 11:56
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Pulled a foot-long tapeworm out of a dude's butt.
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Nov 21, 2015 13:34
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Illegal Username posted:Pulled a foot-long tapeworm out of a dude's butt. Was he skinny?
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Nov 21, 2015 13:54
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Not really, no. Just old.
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Nov 21, 2015 13:55
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Y'all know how airliner crappers work right? Yeah, you crap'em fulla crap from disgusting tourist diarrhea butts all day, and then when you land you screw on a crap hose under the plane belly, press go, and blast a tanker truck fulla crap, and the crap tanker drives off and that's that. Turns out you gotta screw on the crap hose proper before you press go, or you unleash hell in the form of an industrial fire suppression system of poo poo over your own head. That guy also walked off into the sunset never to return.
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Nov 21, 2015 13:59
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About six months worth of the owner's piss jugs
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Nov 21, 2015 14:41
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I work in a veterinary practice as a student vet nurse/ANA, and we had a cat brought in with a huge facial abscess. It was all scabby and gross, and when my boss was picking at the scab trying to safely open it to drain the fluid, the scab came off in one fell swoop and pus just flowed out of the cat's face. It smelt like hemorrhagic diarrhea. But that was not the worst part. My boss, after cleaning out this gaping hole, told me we'd be having a look at the cat's teeth, because the abscess was likely caused by dental problems. We open up its mouth and there's plaque everywhere. Very smelly, very gross (fun fact, veterinary dental nurses are pretty well paid because dental work is loving disgusting). We complain about it for a couple of minutes, then my boss tries to pick a bit of plaque off with her fingers to see if it was going to be an easy clean. The entire upper jaw, from canine to premolars, just came out. The bones had rotted away, causing the abscess and utterly destroying the cat's jaw. The only thing keeping the eyeball in was the zygomatic arch, which was as far as we could tell undamaged. The owner did not request euthanasia immediately, because the other side of the mouth was intact, and there was no immediate risk of the eye falling out. The cat was reasonably happy too, and despite our horror, my boss just gave the best palliative care she could short of drawing up the blue juice. Two weeks later, we were finally able to euthanise it. I have smelt parvo as the dog affected leaked its foul brown poo poo all over a kennel, I have had pyometra juice squirted all over my scrubs and almost across my face, I had my hand swell up like a balloon after a cat bit my wrist right at the joint and it got infected. But that cat's mouth was the worst loving thing I've ever seen in my life. Uncle Wemus posted:the owner of the animal hospital i worked at hired a cleaning crew of mentally disabled people, one of which was his disabled daughter, as a tax dodge or something. One day I walked in on two of them having sex on top of the freezer we kept recently put-to-sleep pets in before sending them off to be cremated. It's just called the dead dog freezer, dude.
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Nov 21, 2015 15:18
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Roro posted:a cat brought in with a huge facial abscess Oh my god. I have seen and read a lot of digusting things on the internet, but as a cat person this may be the most horrific thing I have yet seen. Do you have any idea what lead to the dental problems that caused the abscess ? That does not seem like the sort of thing that just happens.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:19
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Modest Mauser posted:Oh my god. It turns out a lot of people just don't consider that their pets can develop dental disease. It's neglect, but of the loving kind. You give them lots of wet food to eat which starts to rot their teeth, and you don't take them to the vet for regular checks because hey! They're still eating and playing and poo poo, why do they need to see the vet? And animals aren't going to stop eating unless they're ill or dying, so you just never notice. Reptiles can get hella hosed too because they have less tells when they're ill and unless you have a good herp owner they just shut down and die. The cat in question had really loving owners, but they just didn't notice until it was far too late. It's a sad job, but I'd rather do this than spend my life in retail having autists rub their faces on my titties again.
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Nov 21, 2015 16:35
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Ugh I just had a dream this week about putting all my upper teeth in one go. Poor cat. My last job was in the warehouse attached to an Irish electronics store. We've some law here were as an electronics retailer you've a choice between paying some fee or paying to take in and recycle the crap gear people are replacing. I think it works out cheaper if you take it but its a pain in the rear end. Lead to some cool stuff like finding NES carts (in 2013), vinyl records, working Xboxes and such. All of which us minimum wage losers would knick and find homes for. Or you would gey to destroy some old stock for legal reasons like the day my boss came to me with a box full of cameras and a craw hammer.  That was the upside, turns out old tech is heavy as gently caress and we'd occasionally drop and smash stuff by accident. As well anything that came into contact with food during it's lifetime had a very high chance of smelling like absolute poo poo. The three worst offenders I remember were a fridge that we didn't know was full of old milk, until one of the doors flung open. A weird microwave/hobb combo unit that was like 20 years old and while it was light enough to carry I still had to handtruck around because it was too slick with grease. And finally an industrial fryer that we weren't supposed to take in only it was part of a "favor" for someone, it hadn't been totally drained and probably never cleaned judging by how yellow and crusty it was. It was the kind of smell that overpowered you, and would stay on your tongue and everything after. We forked it up to the fartest corner of the yard from the customer entrance and stayed away untill the scrap man showed up a week later. Oh and there was a big bloodstain from the time a pidgeon got stuck in the warehouse and couldn't find a way out and someone eventually got an air rifle off their mate and filled him full of pellets.
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Nov 21, 2015 17:14
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Roro posted:It turns out a lot of people just don't consider that their pets can develop dental disease. It's neglect, but of the loving kind. You give them lots of wet food to eat which starts to rot their teeth, and you don't take them to the vet for regular checks because hey! They're still eating and playing and poo poo, why do they need to see the vet? And animals aren't going to stop eating unless they're ill or dying, so you just never notice. Reptiles can get hella hosed too because they have less tells when they're ill and unless you have a good herp owner they just shut down and die. The cat in question had really loving owners, but they just didn't notice until it was far too late. That is enormously sad  As you say though, it does sound more fulfilling than what you were doing before (actually, I know it is, having both waitressed and worked retail while in uni).
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Nov 21, 2015 17:18
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criscodisco posted:I spent years in a pediatric trauma center, so lots. Let's eat.
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Nov 21, 2015 17:42
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Roro posted:I work in a veterinary practice as a student vet nurse/ANA, and we had a cat brought in with a huge facial abscess. It was all scabby and gross, and when my boss was picking at the scab trying to safely open it to drain the fluid, the scab came off in one fell swoop and pus just flowed out of the cat's face. It smelt like hemorrhagic diarrhea. I'm convinced vet techs do not get paid enough money. Every story I've ever heard or read from one has been either horrifying or emotionally scarring.
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Nov 21, 2015 18:51
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LadyAmbien posted:I'm convinced vet techs do not get paid enough money. Every story I've ever heard or read from one has been either horrifying or emotionally scarring. Hahaha, you have nooooo idea. I have had people ask me when I'm going to be a vet, why I'm "just" a vet nurse, ask the vet if "that girl is going to be handling my pet"... There's great parts too though, treated a semi-feral cat that was so riddled with worms it was making GBS threads live ones. Entire staff ended up getting wormed (and muggins here had a bad reaction to the tablet so I thought I had worms). The cat was super aggressive because it had a back wound too and kept licking so we put a cone on and it was in this vicious cycle of feeling itchy and gross due to no grooming. Little bit of hand feeding and it loved me. Its owners loved me too.
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Nov 21, 2015 18:56
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Trying to assist a 400 lb. patron into a roller coaster seat unsuccessfully. The lap bar wouldn't click into place inbetween and under the rolls of fat. Oh wait, you said witnessed, not partook. Never mind.
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Nov 21, 2015 19:35
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i work in a restaurant/bar sorta place that's right on the route of our city's St. Patty's parade, and while it wasn't much compared to some of the wonderful stuff in this thread (the people loving on the dead dog freezer has to be one of the best) some pretty great poo poo went down that day. The place is laid out in a pretty standard way, with a partition seperating an area that's mostly tables from an area that's mostly booths, an enclosed bar in the middle of the mostly table area and the expo/kitchen toward the back. So around 3:00, the parade crowd is still pretty thick, and we're getting more and more staggerers and drunk dickheads by the minute. The bar is fuckin swamped and us waitstaff are trying our best to make sure everyone gets the poo poo they've ordered. Heading into the booth area, I notice there are a lot of people sort of crowding around one table, which isn't uncommon since we'd get big parties in and out during the day, but as I get through I see what everyone was gawking at, there was a dude sitting there looking like he was about to pass out and some woman under the table just absolutely gobbling his dick. I call over a manager, and she smacks the table, causing the chick underneath to jolt up, knock her head against the underside of the table, and scramble away with her confused partner following pretty closely. Best part was they loitered around outside for a bit and she ended up puking all over the road. There was another incident later around 9 or so, when most of the drunks had either headed home or gotten sedate enough that things were pretty quiet. Out of nowhere there was this ringing, crashing noise from over by the bar. Turns out some dude tipped too far back on one of the metallic bar chairs and smacked his head against the concrete. His buddies closed out his tab for him and they sorta limped him out of the place. Normally that'd be the end of it, but I got cut pretty soon after and ended up coming across those same guys as I walked to my car. They hadn't made it half a block before the drunk guy (who was a good deal bigger than the other two) faceplanted on the sidewalk and busted his face pretty bad. There were some chicks with them I hadn't noticed in the restaurant who were pretty drunk as well, and they were all chittering and worrying about what to do. I help the two guys roll the third over off his front, and we found that his face was already absolutely soaked in blood. Seeing as I'd already been dealing with drunk assholes since 8 that morning, I stick around long enough to make sure one of them calls an ambulance before splitting. Lots of green diarrhea throughout the day, too.
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Nov 21, 2015 22:27
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Roro posted:
Wait, what? Having spent my first 12 years of employment in retail of some sort I need to hear this story.
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Nov 21, 2015 22:40
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If anyone has a link to the full moon gay bar dance floor back flip riot story then please post it here.
Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Nov 22, 2015 |
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Nov 21, 2015 23:51
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Solice Kirsk posted:Wait, what? Having spent my first 12 years of employment in retail of some sort I need to hear this story. It's not an amazing story really. I used to work in a card shop, and we had a couple of autistic regulars. One was really nice while the other was a oval office. I don't know why, but both of them seemed to adore me. The oval office one would deliberately wait in the queue until I was free then demand I serve her according to her specifications (no receipt, hand the bag and the cards to her so she could pack her stuff away, that sort of thing). The nice one had no concept of personal space, and I was not told this when I first started. She was chatting away happily to my boss, then suddenly grabbed me in a bear hug and rubbed her head against my chest. I quietly flipped out and sort of snapped my arms up to break the hug. It was too late, however, and I was forever marked as her cuddle toy. She once tackled me on my day off when I went into the shop and nearly sent me flying. As I said, she was pretty nice and I grew to kind of like her, especially since I felt bad that my coworkers would mock her relentlessly. But it was a hell of an introduction.
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Nov 22, 2015 00:22
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Roro posted:It's not an amazing story really. I used to work in a card shop, and we had a couple of autistic regulars. One was really nice while the other was a oval office. I don't know why, but both of them seemed to adore me. The oval office one would deliberately wait in the queue until I was free then demand I serve her according to her specifications (no receipt, hand the bag and the cards to her so she could pack her stuff away, that sort of thing). LOL. That is loving amazing, nerds are the worst people. At least she ended up being nice.  I will admit, I was expecting a tale of some creepy dudes. A+.
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Nov 22, 2015 00:27
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Modest Mauser posted:LOL. That is loving amazing, nerds are the worst people. At least she ended up being nice. Ah, I'm pretty sure they were both literally autistic, but they at least had some level of mental illness. It was easy to tell because neither of them knew how to loving shower, and nice one left a grease mark on me once 
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Nov 22, 2015 00:29
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