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When I was working at Bed, Bath & Beyond we had what we thought was a guy running around and knocking things over while wearing a bedsheet, but it turned out to be the ghost of a customer who'd died there years ago 
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Nov 18, 2015 20:18
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Applewhite posted:When I was working at Bed, Bath & Beyond we had what we thought was a guy running around and knocking things over while wearing a bedsheet, but it turned out to be the ghost of a customer who'd died there years ago Thats loving terrifying. Like when someone grabbed the sheet was there just no one under it or something?
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Nov 18, 2015 20:31
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Shite, what if someone made their bed with her, that's like, what, morticide?
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Nov 18, 2015 20:47
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Solice Kirsk posted:Thats loving terrifying. Like when someone grabbed the sheet was there just no one under it or something? That was exactly what happened.
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Nov 18, 2015 20:50
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Admiral Bosch posted:I'm in school for machining, but thankfully most of what I do is CNC so the capacity for bodily injury is pretty low. That said, currently I'm TA-ing in China for a few weeks. All the chinese students wear long sleeves and no safety glasses while working with manual lathes and it skeeves me out. What is cnc?
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Nov 18, 2015 21:36
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Drunk Nerds posted:What is cnc? 
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Nov 18, 2015 21:43
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TK-42-1 posted:I used to work at a gas station and saw some hosed up stuff. It was in a part of Austin with a lot of apartment complexes where a shitload of UT students and a bunch of poors lived. Funniest was when a rich kid came in and bought 4 sixers of Smirnoff Ice or some bullshit like that. We walks out the door and drops all 4 sixers to the ground and holds his hands up saying 'WHAT THE gently caress?' Turns out he left his car running and someone had jumped in and taken off with it. We didn't have cameras on that part so he was hosed. What do you think the deal with the purse was?
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Nov 18, 2015 22:00
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Professor Shark posted:Holy Moley, link that please Ok. But first read this quote Ruddha posted:A really long, sympathetic post, and as you read through it you gradually realize I'm describing the sadness of Hitler being forced into suicide Then start reading from here http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=40&perpage=40#post442173447 Please keep reading until page 45. You'll know which post is the grande finale.
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Nov 18, 2015 22:17
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Drunk Nerds posted:Weird. she was having an aneursym
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Nov 18, 2015 22:18
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When I was 16 or 17, I worked at a restaurant. We were closing, and one of the other workers, a kid 14 or 15, was pissing off the manager, so he took him to the office and beat the poo poo out of him and made us promise not to tell anyone.
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Nov 18, 2015 22:20
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Once like 4 of us held rhis guy down while a security guard kicked this shoplifter in the nuts for 20minutes while the cops were arriving. The cops showed up and said 'no one touched him right?' And took him away. Next day the cops brought in made up statements for us all to sign saying no one touched him.
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Nov 18, 2015 22:28
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This Jacket Is Me posted:When I was 16 or 17, I worked at a restaurant. We were closing, and one of the other workers, a kid 14 or 15, was pissing off the manager, so he took him to the office and beat the poo poo out of him and made us promise not to tell anyone. It's me, your old boss. I told you not to tell, now I have to kill you.
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Nov 18, 2015 23:10
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Incompetent providers unknowingly killing patients. 
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Nov 18, 2015 23:20
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LadyAmbien posted:Assuming you have a job, and coworkers. It was rush season so the hiring standards were down, resulting in a full on gang rumble with knives in the parking lot. The same night someone stole some toilet seats. Also I worked with this guy: http://old-www.somethingawful.com/d/awful-links/awful-link-2331.php .. was one of like ten people to submit his website to SA the night he revealed the full extent of his insanity, which prompted us to finally check out his website. His leaving the building involved pledges to call down Earthquakes to swallow the building.
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Nov 18, 2015 23:25
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Drunk Nerds posted:What is cnc? Computer numerical control. Just means all the machining operations are run by a program. What that kid was doing isn't *necessarily* unsafe(just really stupid), but having seen what I've seen here so far, it wouldn't surprise me if the door safeties on the machine were disabled so you could run operations with the doors open.
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Nov 19, 2015 00:06
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Oh, from talking with the guys I always assumed it was just drunken welding.
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Nov 19, 2015 00:15
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time is a wastin posted:Many women have penises. Get over it.
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Nov 19, 2015 01:15
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Drunk Nerds posted:Weird. Closest I could think of was that she handed the key to someone when she walked out, but left her purse. Someone else took it before she realized. Probably stressed her out and made her brain pop.
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Nov 19, 2015 01:28
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I worked at a lumber mill one summer up in Canada. There were no women for fifty miles so the men got pretty horny, and we'd get up to some crazy shenanigans that aren't gay at all because it's just guys hangin' out trying to let off some steam and anyone would act the same in our situation. Anyway, we had one guy who'd done back to back shifts (a "shift" is three months in the wilderness) get so desperate he tried to gently caress a knothole on one of the trees. Unfortunately, that particular knothole happened to be the nest for a colony of Canadian Fire Ants. Within ten seconds his whole groin area was completely covered in a living carpet of biting red ants. They'd chewed his poor ding dong down to a nub before we managed to hose them off. His nickname from then on was "Stumpy Applewhite" because the man in the story.... was me
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Nov 19, 2015 04:45
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i once made log-splitters for a few weeks. i put i steel beam on a conveyor and pounded a wedge into the place where the log touches the wedge. (the most important part imo) i did this all day.
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Nov 19, 2015 05:03
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Admiral Bosch posted:I'm in school for machining, but thankfully most of what I do is CNC so the capacity for bodily injury is pretty low. That said, currently I'm TA-ing in China for a few weeks. All the chinese students wear long sleeves and no safety glasses while working with manual lathes and it skeeves me out. hello fellow CNC student. How the gently caress did you end up in China? the worst thing I've seen is someone who thought that G00 was faster than G0.
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Nov 19, 2015 05:32
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Triamcinolone posted:hello fellow CNC student. How the gently caress did you end up in China? Sup buddy? :hifive: My community college has a study abroad relationship with a technical school here. Every once in a while they'll send some of their good students to the US to study, and then my school sends an american teacher twice a year. Sometimes students get to go with and I got lucky. Five week paid vacation and all I have to do is babysit students a few hours every day and grade their parts when they're done. Ps you would shudder to see the state of their machines, they leave everything exposed to the open air year round, it's awesome
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Nov 19, 2015 09:36
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One time down in the archaeology lab I was sorting faunal bone, which is what we should have. US law states we are not supposed to have any human bone. I dump a bag out and in a nice little plastic bag labeled "human" is a human phalanx. This happened while my supervisor was out of town so I just set it aside and sent an email. But drat, someone at the dig site hosed up. There was also a human tooth in another lot. It's not "technically" illegal to have, but it's a headache because of repatriation. It has to go back to one of the tribes and that's a loooong legal shitshow. So yeah, some idiot at the dig site not re-burying the human poo poo like they were told to led to headaches for the NAGPRA rep in the department.
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Nov 19, 2015 09:58
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Amarcarts posted:It's not something I witnessed with my eyes so much as with my nose. I'm in school right now and on breaks I work overnight in a warehouse. There's a guy there who absolutely REEKS. He's native African so I've been wondering if it's some sort of cultural thing or if he just never bathes or does laundry. Some other people notice it but management doesn't seem to care but his lovely awful BO will loving LINGER in an aisle five minutes after he's gone. I've had times where it's so bad I think I'm gonna pass out. One should note that diet plays a big part in how one smells. I've often heard that south-east asians think Americans smell like sour milk. If someone eats a diet of Burberry, goat, and garlic, it gives your sweat a distinct smell. Much the same, a constant diet of beef, potato, and especially milk, gives you a completely different BO.
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Nov 19, 2015 12:34
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Drunk Nerds posted:What is cnc? Computer Numerical Control. Basically, robotic machine tools. You set 'em up, hit START, and parts start falling out. Some can run with all night with no human attention at all. They're great. Cheap. I design all my stuff to use it. zimboe fucked around with this message at 13:20 on Nov 19, 2015 |
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Nov 19, 2015 13:14
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El Spider posted:I'm hoping that he just happened to make a post that was in very poor taste, because I retracted a ban I had queued after people vouched for him. I'm looking into it unless people want to dig through his posts for me and convince me he probably wasn't being ironic Why are people who can't discern joke from serious posts being given mod positions? Jesus dude, you've been for 3 years so you're still a noob but you should know better than that.
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Nov 19, 2015 13:22
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Wedemeyer posted:Ok. But first read this quote PRO CLICK ZONE
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Nov 19, 2015 13:35
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TK-42-1 posted:I used to work at a gas station and saw some hosed up stuff. It was in a part of Austin with a lot of apartment complexes where a shitload of UT students and a bunch of poors lived. Funniest was when a rich kid came in and bought 4 sixers of Smirnoff Ice or some bullshit like that. We walks out the door and drops all 4 sixers to the ground and holds his hands up saying 'WHAT THE gently caress?' Turns out he left his car running and someone had jumped in and taken off with it. We didn't have cameras on that part so he was hosed. Let me guess.... West Campus or Riverside?
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Nov 19, 2015 13:40
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Wedemeyer posted:Ok. But first read this quote 
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Nov 19, 2015 13:57
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I was working as a sales clerk in a sex shop, downtown Vancouver. It had '25C peepshows' in the back which were basically individual booths with glory holes where dudes went to watch porno and suck each other off. One night a well dressed guy came in carrying a briefcase and bought a $100 bottle of lube, a dildo and some tokens used to work the video machines in the back. It was pretty standard stuff, I don't ask any questions and we have a cleaner who deals with that area so it's really none of my business and I don't care. I was told one guy likes to put a condom on one of the door handles in the back and slam the door into his rear end over and over. Anyway about 20 minutes later one of the regulars comes out, one of the guys that comes in 3 times a week to hang around in the back like a ghoul waiting for somebody to come in he can blow. He comes out and tells me real quite like that... "...That guy you just let back there.. I think he's on drugs and he's umm made a mess" As I'm processing this information the smell of poo poo hits me. I'm 3 hours into a 12 hour shift where I've got to sit in this store and I cannot be sat there as it smells like poo poo. I lock the front door and (careful not to disturb anyone else back there by turning on the lights) I grab the large stick we have under the counter and a flash light and head slowly into the dark (almost pitch black) back area of the store where the peepshows are. I'm slowly scanning around when I notice the $100 bottle of lube on its side on a shelf, pouring out all over the floor. Next I shine the light down to the floor and I see a huge sweeping stain leading out of one of the booths further to the back. It reminds me of when somebody is stabbed to death a horror movie bathroom and has to drag their dying corpse across the tile floor spreading blood everywhere but instead of blood its poo poo and lube. As I'm trying to locate where this clue leads me the guy comes, heavily sweating out of the dark, trying to haul up his pants and says in a gruff voice "you got a bathroom in here?!" I'm instantly telling him he's got to get the gently caress out and I run to open the door so he doesn't touch the door handle on the way out. After he had left I called the boss and he told me he'll give me a bonus if I mop it up, so I have to put loving bags on my shoes and clean up after this rear end in a top hat. Months later I got my revenge when he came back into the shop and I told him he was banned infront of a full store. He asked why and I said loudly "Because the last time you were here you poo poo all over the place" and he scampered off.
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Nov 19, 2015 13:58
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El Spider posted:I'm hoping that he just happened to make a post that was in very poor taste, because I retracted a ban I had queued after people vouched for him. I'm looking into it unless people want to dig through his posts for me and convince me he probably wasn't being ironic Poor taste? In GBS? Nooo-NOOOOOOO E: (sarc) zimboe fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Nov 19, 2015 |
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Nov 19, 2015 14:18
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Applewhite's story reminded me I used to work in a ghetto movie store. The owner didn't have much money and rental copies of movies were expensive, so he would have us download foreign dubs of movie and then reinstert the English over top. Problem is we had a simple kid there named Doug who always hosed it up, but the owner would never let us throw out a burned copy of anything, so we had a bunch of hosed up movies. We would also have a movie going on at the store at all times, and on Tuesdays and Fridays Doug got to pick the movies. So my Friday nights were often walking around sweeping the floor and checking inventory while Doug's version of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was playing that had all the dialogue, background music and even canned laughter from an entire season of Seinfeld, or Titanic overlayed with the best of Kramer. I protested to the owner a few times, but around the 4th he came clean. Turns out Doug had been a normal kid until 3 or 4 years before when the owner had him working late one night putting up shelves for the movies. Everything was going fine as Doug would build them the owner would put the new movies in them. But one of the shelves collapsed and dumped a bunch of VHS copies of Ed O'Niel's movie "Dutch" all over Doug, giving him a traumatic brain injury. But the owner, he didn't have insurance so he just promised to Doug's family he'd keep him employed for the rest of his life for $25/hr so they wouldn't sue and he could afford to live on his own. Kinda hosed up, but there' some nobility to it. From then on I treated Doug a little nicer than I had, felt bad for him. I would praise his Seinfeld-ized versions of Forrest Gump, Scent of a Woman, even his version of Sam Jackson's Shaft that featured a lot of dialogue from Kramer's lawyer Jackie. I just smiled and told him he did a good job. Then one night, as we were closing up Doug called me over to see his latest opus, Eyes Wide Shut. The whole thing was next level bizarre, even for Doug. All the sex scenes were just voiced by clips of Elain shouting and struggling, but he added the girls from Friends to it as well and what I could only assume were grunts and collisions from the previous week's Monday Night Football game. I don't remember specifics but I remember it having a Newman heavy plot. The whole time I'm watching it Doug is just smiling like the retard he had become that fateful night. I felt repulsion, laughter and sympathy at the same time as the movie continued on, and then as the credits rolled, I heard Doug making noise. Doug made a hiccuping noise, it started slow, then sped up. The cantor was like a show-horse being made to gracefully and methodically speed up as it is presented to the judges. Finally I saw a tear and Doug let out a high pitched wailing noise. It wasn't sorrowful or .. The Son-of-a-bitch was laughing, he was laughing with tears of jubilation streaming down his face. In the proceeding moments, Doug would explain to me how he only got a concussion, but he hated the job and just wanted to make a lot of money while editing together his own fan-scripts for Seinfeld. The bastard had turned an entire video store in to his personal Deviant Art Fanfiction depository . He had faked being a simpleton and dived down the rabbit hole of erotic fiction. I would never trust a retard again
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Nov 19, 2015 14:18
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Booblord Zagats posted:Applewhite's story reminded me 
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Nov 19, 2015 14:25
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revmoo posted:One time we portscanned a like a /12 instead of the client network My friend works on zmap and part of his job is running their internet-wide port scans. They get some pretty good crazy responses sometimes, like the guy who called them "agents of satan" and linked to some prison planet article about obama's martial law, or the idiot IT admins who threaten to sue them or call the university and accuse them of "hacking", lol
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Nov 19, 2015 15:28
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El Spider posted:link me to the baby baking post since I didn't actively read or post here prior to my modding Why did you need a link? Read the thread to find the post you lazy dipshit, and read before you mod. It's literally the job you signed up for. I don't understand why only autistic pedos or dumb teenagers are allowed to be mods. Pick a normal person for once lowtax. Anyway the worst thing I ever saw at work was the vp doing rails of coke off his desk one morning. Pretty standard stuff most places. WorldsStongestNerd fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Nov 19, 2015 |
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Nov 19, 2015 15:38
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you two share a dream to see Windows98 probated (or sexually assaulted or whatever) so I think you should be nicer to one another namaste
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Nov 19, 2015 15:46
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Java.
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Nov 19, 2015 16:04
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Nov 19, 2015 16:24
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LadyAmbien posted:Holy poo poo you guys, I meant worst as in funniest. This is traumatic. welcome to SA
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Nov 19, 2015 16:27
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Birdstrike posted:I saw another goon once. I know three guys at work who I know are goons. And there are like 3 or 4 more who I strongly suspect. Its loving creepy.
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Nov 19, 2015 16:37
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