What's the worst thing you've ever witnessed in the workplace?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > What's the worst thing you've ever witnessed in the workplace?

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Dave_Indeed posted:

In college I worked at Sears in the fitness department. I was J chillen on a treadmill and this nerd mother gently caress starts looking like he's got to sneeze, then just falls into a bunch of poo poo, shaking like a fool. I flew into action. Needless to say I looked fly as hell. Anyhow, I dragged this bitch away from the snow blowers and made some girl call 911 like a hero.

The firefighters came later and they all laid on top of him for some reason. I told them no need to thank me, I'm just doing my duty to society and knowing I save one citizen at a time is reward enough.

Idgi

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 03:34

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 10:15

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

LadyAmbien posted:

Holy poo poo you guys, I meant worst as in funniest. This is traumatic.

Look, if you didn't want to be the conduit to horror, why are you having Lowtax's baby?

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 04:53

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

LadyAmbien posted:

Listen man, I....

I will think about that question and get back to you.

I kid. Let's hear it for Lady Ambien, she's alllright.

The weirdest thing I ever saw on the job was a guy masturbating a retard...

# ¿ Nov 17, 2015 05:14

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Wanna see Lady Ambien get banned because new mod doesn't know who she is.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 05:42

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

LadyAmbien posted:

I shouldn't have to play by different rules.

Uh, yeah you should.

You think Michelle Obama can't have anyone she wants killed? She can and does. That's what happened to Robin Williams and the GWAR frontman

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 05:48

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Admiral Bosch posted:

I'm in school for machining, but thankfully most of what I do is CNC so the capacity for bodily injury is pretty low. That said, currently I'm TA-ing in China for a few weeks. All the chinese students wear long sleeves and no safety glasses while working with manual lathes and it skeeves me out.

Also the American teacher I came with took a picture of one of the 2nd year students literally sitting inside of a CNC milling machine changing out tools.

What is cnc?

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 21:36

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 10:15

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

TK-42-1 posted:

I used to work at a gas station and saw some hosed up stuff. It was in a part of Austin with a lot of apartment complexes where a shitload of UT students and a bunch of poors lived. Funniest was when a rich kid came in and bought 4 sixers of Smirnoff Ice or some bullshit like that. We walks out the door and drops all 4 sixers to the ground and holds his hands up saying 'WHAT THE gently caress?' Turns out he left his car running and someone had jumped in and taken off with it. We didn't have cameras on that part so he was hosed.

I had one guy with cancer or something puke an ungodly amount of blood all over one of the pumps. The fire department just threw a bunch of kitty litter all over it and left. I had to clean up after them and threw up myself a couple times.

Another time a lady came in all worried. She was maybe 50 and real mousey looking like a stereotypical librarian. She asked to go to the bathroom and I gave her the key. A few minutes later she comes up and asks if I saw anyone walk out with a tan purse. It's 5:30pm and rush hour with about 10-15 people in line. I tell her no, and if she wants to call the police that I can pull the security tape for them when they get here. She says 'ok' and walks away. I hear one of the racks of chips judder like someone bumped into it. Someone in line calls out 'DUDE! This lady just fell down!' I hustle around the beer cooler and see her laying on stomach and not moving. After she won't respond to me I tell everyone to put their stuff down and leave and call 911. They make me turn her over and she's just staring blankly at the ceiling and breathing like someone who got knocked out. EMS show up and cut her shirt off and try to resuscitate her but can't and cart her off. I found out later when her husband called for the security video that she died from a burst aneurysm.

Weird.

What do you think the deal with the purse was?

# ¿ Nov 18, 2015 22:00

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > What's the worst thing you've ever witnessed in the workplace?