SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Taylor sounds decent enough.

Also this is a pretty great thread. If there's no problem with making book recommendations relevant to the elections Chris DeRose 's The Presidents' War: Six American Presidents And The Civil War That Divided Them

It's a pretty interesting book focusing on how the ex-Presidents alive at the time (Buchanan, Tyler, Perice, Fillmore, and Van Buren) reacted to the Civil War (Hint: it wasn't well). Honestly it's morbidly funny to see how every single one of them opposed the Lincoln administration to various degrees. Perice, Fillmore, and Van Buren blamed abolitionists and Lincoln for "provoking" the South and worked through 1860/61 to try to work out a "compromise" (though after Fort Sumter Fillmore and Van Buren threw their reluctant support behind Lincoln), Buchanan cared more about his legacy then anything, and we all know that Tyler was literally treasonous.

The book has a few interesting anecdotes like Tyler's niece marrying a Union soldier who was camping near their plantation, and Buchanan's relationship with Ann Coleman being seriously tragic.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2016 21:33

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 21:52

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Scott sounds good to me.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2016 02:08

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Harry Truman posted:

If it wasn�t for old Bill Bryan, there wouldn�t be any liberalism at all in the country now. Bryan kept liberalism alive, he kept it going.

If you don't vote Bryan in 1896 I don't know what to say.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 21:11

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Voting for our First Gay President.

And to be a contrarian rear end

# ¿ Mar 13, 2016 23:02

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

SA Decides 1788-2000: Not worth a bucket of warm piss

# ¿ Mar 19, 2016 04:54

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Let's put a Southerner in the White House; Vote Lincoln

# ¿ Mar 21, 2016 20:26

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

oystertoadfish posted:

^the confederate navy, or privateers or whatever, was pretty daring and derring-do and the brits did a lot for them by basically flagrantly illegally building and selling the ships to a government they didn't recognize

there's a loving awesome bit of parliamentary ownage that one of the guys that actually comes off fairly well to 21st-century eyes from this era, john bright, perpetrated upon a pro-southern dude. you can read the whole drat thing here. it's not the kind of thing i can really quote here but the ownage is intense. hansard is some of the best reading the world's produced, if you're willing to patiently probe around until you find the gold

but i found out about that from reading the education of henry adams which is one of the best books ever written by an american, because henry adams was really introspective, really smart, deeply and hilariously racist, and a very good writer. he also happened to be his dad's personal secretary when dad was ambassador to great britain during the civil war, and this is what he had to say about the debate of june 30, 1863:
http://www.bartleby.com/159/12.html

a little wordy, i guess, but i love that poo poo

it was a bluff at first, they got hosed by losing their access, but by 1865 egypt and india had pretty much picked up the slack and the south looked like chumps. then by 1870, contrary to literally everyone's expectations, the south was already growing more cotton than it had in 1860. in practically no time at all, modern capitalism had turned not only '''free''' ('scare' quotes in scare quotes themselves, so deep do the ironies go) blacks but the poor whites, who had been proud dirt-scratching subsistence farmers before, into indebted tenants whose only salable crop, despite the glutted market and falling prices, was cotton. to emulate the white dirt farmers had been the great ambition of the freed slaves - instead they both became wage slaves and cotton regained its throne, replacing the whip and property law with the loan and finance law

i bet somea yall think the good times are about to come. there are no good times! as a great virginian once said, 'welcome to america and the real world'

I laughed.

"...Nor do I agree with the hon. and learned Member for Sheffield when he says that the American Union had become so vast and so menacing to the world, that we were in danger of dwindling beside it, or of experiencing a defect of power to maintain our rights. I do not think that territorial extension necessarily adds to the vigour of a State. I do not admit that either England or France, or any other country of Europe, had lost, or was relatively losing, strength in comparison with the United States of America..."

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 16:36

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

QuoProQuid posted:

Yes. The Gilded Age marks a low-point in Presidential power and political vitality. The Presidents are forgettable and the parties rally around the same issues.

Cleveland is the only possible exception.

Garfield could've done great things for African-Americans if he haden't been shot.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2016 17:02

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

von Metternich posted:

There's also the fact that Tilden was a good man, but would have died a year into his term.

Almost as bad as poor Horace Greeley

# ¿ Mar 25, 2016 18:48

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

https://www.americanhistoryusa.com/campaign-trail/

The Campaign Trail's been updated with 1860, 1916, 1976, and 2016 (!?) if anyone wants to try their hand.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 23:36

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Badger of Basra posted:

1976 is bullshit

'Eh, historically some claim if Ford had one more week to campaign he likely could've won the election. One problem was dumping Rocky as Veep made Ford look weak and was a cowardly choice, but if he hadn't done that the Reaganites would've possibly pushed Ford out of the ticket. (gently caress Reagan)

Add that to the fact that many northern Democrats were warry of Carter's Christianity and alleged "Hollier-then-thou" attitude and it's easy to flip.

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 04:47 on Mar 29, 2016

# ¿ Mar 29, 2016 04:20

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Nebakenezzer posted:

Also I know the book is closed on this one but jesus christ Buchanan

Why isn't this guy ever trotted out as an appeasement villain? I'm glad even his own cabinet was disgusted with him.

On paper Buchanan looks great. lawyer, veteran of 1812, 4 term congressman, senator, ambassador to Russia, ambassador to the UK, and Secretary of State. In practice though...

Add that half his cabinet was plotting against him. (To quote Grant's memoirs)

quote:

Meanwhile the Administration of President Buchanan looked helplessly on and proclaimed that the general government had no power to interfere; that the Nation had no power to save its own life. Mr. Buchanan had in his cabinet two members at least, who were as earnest�to use a mild term�in the cause of secession as Mr. Davis or any Southern statesman. One of them, Floyd, the Secretary of War, scattered the army so that much of it could be captured when hostilities should commence, and distributed the cannon and small arms from Northern arsenals throughout the South so as to be on hand when treason wanted them. The navy was scattered in like manner. The President did not prevent his cabinet preparing for war upon their government, either by destroying its resources or storing them in the South until a de facto government was established with Jefferson Davis as its President, and Montgomery, Alabama, as the Capital. The secessionists had then to leave the cabinet. In their own estimation they were aliens in the country which had given them birth. Loyal men were put into their places. Treason in the executive branch of the government was stopped. But the harm had already been done. The stable door was locked after the horse had been stolen.

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 00:05 on Apr 5, 2016

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 20:23

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

From ~~Cape to Cairo~~ to Washington Territory to Santo Domingo. Vote Grant

Different president, but it works.

Badger of Basra posted:

People poo poo on Grant a lot but he was probably the last president until...FDR? who gave even half a poo poo about black people (even if he was just doing it for votes).

Garfield. But considering how short his term was I'm not sure he counts.

Random Presidential thought: I visited Ford's Theater for the first time last summer and it was a really surreal experience being somewhere we've all read about thousands of times. If -in popular memory- Lincoln's a saint then Ford's Theater is the hallowed ground where he was martyred. In terms of Americana I think it might be fair to say that that sturdy little building is an American Golgotha.

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 05:17 on Apr 11, 2016

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 05:07

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Pakled posted:

I thought that racist depiction of a brown person looked familiar, and sure enough, it looks like that's by the same artist as this famous political cartoon.

Using "gently caress the South" as a justification for imperialism. A true conundrum for D&D.

I just noticed the vaguely not-racist deception of a Inuit holding the "Alaska" textbook, and the very racist Native-American depiction in the back. It's the cartoon that keeps on giving in racism.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2016 05:28

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

SpRahl posted:

So the perfect goon candidate is someone who wants to free the slaves and treat them equally, loves hard cider and loving the South, wants to root out the Freemason menace, launch a expedition to the center of the earth, might engage in freemounting and whos last name is Adams?

Well, in 1872...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Quincy_Adams_II

quote:

Adams received one vote for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States at the 1868 Democratic National Convention.[6] In 1872 the faction of Democrats that refused to support Horace Greeley nominated Charles O'Conor for president and John Quincy Adams II for vice-president on the "straight Democratic" ticket. They declined, but their names remained on the ballot in some states.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2016 01:51

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Mark Twain posted:

I met Mr. Greeley only once and then by accident. It was in 1871, in the (old) Tribune office. I climbed one or two flights of stairs and went to the wrong room. I was seeking Colonel John Hay and I really knew my way and only lost it by my carelessness. I rapped lightly on the door, pushed it open and stepped in. There sat Mr. Greeley, busy writing, with his back to me. I think his coat was off. But I knew who it was, anyway. It was not a pleasant situation, for he had the reputation of being pretty plain with strangers who interrupted his train of thought. The interview was brief. Before I could pull myself together and back out, he whirled around and glared at me through his great spectacles and said:

"Well, what in hell do you want!"

"I was looking for a gentlem____"

"Don't keep them in stock -- clear out!"

I could have made a very neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs."

Big enough of an rear end to get my vote.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 00:38

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

To quote an Englishman visiting America in the 1830's...

quote:

"They say that the English cannot settle any thing properly, without a dinner. I am sure the Americans can fix nothing, without a drink. If you meet, you drink; if you part, you drink; if you make acquaintance, you drink; if you close a bargain you drink; they quarrel in their drink, and they make it up with a drink. They drink, because it is hot; they drink because it is cold. If successful in elections, they drink and rejoice; if not, they drink and swear; they begin to drink early in the morning, they leave off late at night; they commence it early in
life, and they continue it, until they soon drop into the grave. To use their own expression, the way they drink, is "quite a caution"
As for water, what the man said, when asked to belong to the
Temperance Society, appears to be the general opinion, "it's very good for navigation."

So much has it become the habit to cement all friendship, and commence acquaintance by drinking, that it is a cause of serious offence to refuse, especially in a foreigner, as the Americans like to call the English. I was always willing to accommodate the Americans in this particular, as far as I could; (there at least, they will do me justice;) that at times I drank much more than I wished is certain, yet still I gave most serious offence, especially in the West, because I would not drink early in the morning, or before dinner, which is a general custom in the States, although much more prevalent in the South and West, where it is literally, "Stranger, will you drink or fight?"

This refusal on my part, or rather excusing myself from drinking with all those who were introduced to me, was eventually the occasion of much
disturbance and of great animosity towards me--certainly, most
unreasonably, as I was introduced to at least twenty every forenoon; and
had I drunk with them all, I should have been in the same state as many of them were--that is, not really sober for three or four weeks at a time.

That the constitutions of the Americans must suffer from this habit is certain; they do not, however, appear to suffer so much as we should.
They say that you may always know the grave of a Virginian; as from the quantity of juleps he has drunk, mint invariably springs up where he has been buried. But the Virginians are not the greatest drinkers, by any means. I was once looking for an American, and asked a friend of his,
where I should find him. "Why," replied he, pointing to an hotel
opposite, "that is his 'licking place', (a term borrowed from deer resorting to lick the salt:) we will see if he is there." He was not; the bar-keeper said he had left about ten minutes. "Well, then, you had
better remain here, he is certain to be back in ten more--if not sooner." The American judged his friend rightly; in five minutes he was back again, and we had a drink together, of course.

https://ia600501.us.archive.org/6/items/diaryinamericase23138gut/23138-8.txt

Edit: Unrealted but...

quote:

To prove how fond the Americans are of anything that excites them, I will mention a representation which I one day went to see--that of the "Infernal Regions." There were two or three of these shewn in the different cities in the States.

I saw the remnants of another, myself; but, as
the museum-keeper very appropriately observed to me, "It was a fine thing once, but now it had all gone to hell."

You entered a dark room; where, railed off with iron railings, you beheld a long perspective of caverns in the interior of the earth, and a molten lake in the distance.
In the foreground were the most horrible monsters that could be invented--bears with men's heads, growling--snakes darting in and out, hissing--here a man lying murdered, with a knife in his heart; there--a suicide, hanging by the neck--skeletons lying about in all directions,
and some walking up and down in muslin shrouds. The machinery was very perfect. At one side was the figure of a man sitting down, with a horrible face; boar's tusks protruding from his mouth, his eyes rolling,
and horns on his head; I thought it was mechanism as well as the rest; and was not a little surprised when it addressed me in a hollow voice: "We've been waiting some time for you, captain."

As I found he had a
tongue, I entered into conversation with him. The representation wound up with showers of fire, rattling of bones, thunder, screams, and a
regular cascade of the d---d, pouring into the molten lake. When it was first shewn, they had an electric battery communicating with the iron railing; and whoever put his hand on it, or went too near, received a smart electric shock. But the alarm created by this addition was found
to be attended with serious consequences, and it had been discontinued.

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 05:08 on Apr 19, 2016

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 02:56

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Discendo Vox posted:

That's right- a vote for James Black is a vote to put Al Gore into the White House- and to keep George W Bush out!

The only Bushes I know are Underground Railroad supporters (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obadiah_Bush) and Women's rights activists (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abigail_Bush) , why on Earth would we want to keep this progressive family out of the White House?

These Gore's on the other hand seem to have taken up arms in support of the Slaveocrat gang down South (https://www.nytimes.com/books/first/z/zelnick-gore.html http://homepages.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~goredata/isaacgoredescendantchart.txt ) , do we really need someone in the White House who has the ghost of Jeff Davis whispering in his ear?

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 19:36

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Man, Nast was brutal

(Also, I don't think he liked Victoria)

# ¿ Apr 20, 2016 03:19

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

SpRahl posted:

But what does the coat of arms of the Adams dynasty look like?
Or did the election of Jay prevent the creation of a constitutional monarchy?

Take your pick

http://www.americanheraldry.org/pages/index.php?n=president.adams

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 01:29

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

I have to admit I have a semi soft-spot for McCellen. He should have never been in a combat position but...

quote:

"It makes my heart bleed to see the poor, shattered remnants of my noble Army of the Potomac, poor fellows! and to see how they love me even now. I hear them calling out to me as I ride among them, " George, don't leave us again! " " They sha'n't take you away from us again," etc., etc.

I can hardly restrain myself when I see how fearfully they are reduced in numbers, and realize how many of them lie unburied on the field of battle, where their lives were uselessly sacrificed. It is the most terrible trial I ever experienced. Truly, God is trying me in the fire. "

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 06:45

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Related to earlier in the thread but apparently in the 1950's and '60's Old Crow bourbon did a ad series featuring Henry Clay. This seems a...rather bizarre ad choice.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2016 18:39

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Rutherford B Hayes posted:

"How to distribute more equally the property of our country is a question we (Theodore Clapp and I) considered yesterday. We ought not to allow a permanent aristocracy of inherited wealth to grow up in our country. How would it answer to limit the amount that could be left to any one person by will or otherwise? What should be the limit? Let no one receive from another more than the law gives to the chief justice, to the general of the Army, or to the president of the Senate. Let the income of the property transmitted equal this, say $10,000 to $20,000. If after distributing on this principle there remains undistributed part of the estate, let it go to the public. The object is to secure a distribution of great estates to prevent accumulation...

... At Father Hannan's St. Patrick's Institute last evening. I spoke of the danger from riches in a few hands, and the poverty of the masses. The capital and labor question. General Comly regards the speech as important. My point is that free government cannot long endure if property is largely in a few hands and large masses of the people are unable to earn homes, education, and a support in old age...

Am I mistaken in thinking that we are drawing near the time when we must decide to limit and control great wealth, corporations, and the like, or resort to a strong military government?...Shall the railroads govern the country, or shall the people govern the railroads? Shall the interest of railroad kings be chiefly regarded, or shall the interest of the people be paramount?

...The real difficulty is with the vast wealth and power in the hands of the few and the unscrupulous who represent or control capital. Hundreds of laws of Congress and the state legislatures are in the interest of these men and against the interests of workingmen. These need to be exposed and repealed. All laws on corporations, on taxation, on trusts, wills, descent, and the like, need examination and extensive change. This is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people no longer. It is a government of corporations, by corporations, and for corporations. � How is this?

...In church it occurred to me that it is time for the public to hear that the giant evil and danger in this country, the danger which transcends all others, is the vast wealth owned or controlled by a few persons. Money is power. In Congress, in state legislatures, in city councils, in the courts, in the political conventions, in the press, in the pulpit, in the circles of the educated and the talented its influence is growing greater and greater. Excessive wealth in the hands of the few means extreme poverty, ignorance, vice, and wretchedness as the lot of the many. It is not yet time to debate about the remedy..."

Rutherford B(ernie Sanders) Hayes?

Nckdictator has issued a correction as of 21:57 on May 1, 2016

# ¿ May 1, 2016 21:54

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Garfield would've gone on to pretty good things.

Also, voting for our Dude Vice President

http://deadpresidents.tumblr.com/post/335481176/the-elegant-mr-arthurIt

quote:

It was about two hours after midnight on September 20, 1881, and not unusual for the resident of 123 Lexington Avenue in New York City to be up at such a late hour, or to have plenty of guests. In fact, he preferred to keep late hours, entertaining friends deep into the night with late-night dinners, drinks, and endless conversation. Yet, on this night, 123 Lexington Avenue was somber and the mood was grave. Just a few hours earlier � at 11:30 PM � a messenger knocked on the door of Vice President Chester Alan Arthur�s Manhattan brownstone and handed Arthur a telegram. Surrounded by a few friends and colleagues, Arthur read that President James Garfield, just 49 years old and in office for barely six months, had died in a beach cottage at Elberon, New Jersey. Turning to his friends in his sitting room, Arthur said, �I hope � my God, I do hope it is a mistake."

On July 2nd, President Garfield was shot twice and seriously wounded by Charles Guiteau as he walked through the Baltimore & Potomac Railroad Station in Washington, D.C. with Secretary of State James G. Blaine and Secretary of War Robert Todd Lincoln (son of Abraham Lincoln) en route to a speaking engagement at his alma mater, Williams College in Massachusetts. Guiteau was a disgruntled, disturbed, and delusional office-seeker who had been pleading for an appointment as consul to Paris despite an absence of diplomatic and political experience and a complete lack of qualifications. Hounding Garfield throughout the early months of an administration that had just begun on March 4, 1881, Guiteau�s constant harassment of the new President finally resulted in Secretary Blaine ordering Guiteau to never return to the White House again. Guiteau felt that he had been entitled to some office, particularly an ambassadorship, and was terribly upset that Garfield and his cabinet members refused to consider his requests. Blaine�s order to stay away drove Guiteau to purchase an ivory-handled .44 British Bulldog revolver (specifically chosen because Guiteau felt that particular firearm would look good in a museum) and he began stalking Garfield throughout Washington before finally shooting him in the rail station two days before Independence Day 1881. As police arrested him, Guiteau shouted, "I am a Stalwart of the Stalwarts�Arthur is President now!�.

But, Arthur wasn�t President; not yet at least. Garfield was a physically robust man and relatively young in comparison to most Presidents. While one bullet had lodged in Garfield�s spine, the other bullet grazed his arm and caused no significant damage. While it appeared that he was gravely ill immediately following the shooting, Garfield�s vital signs soon started to improve and the American people began to get their hopes up about a full recovery. A vigil of sorts was underway as President Garfield convalesced in the White House, and his doctors issued regular bulletins updating his condition. Garfield�s doctors also poked and prodded with unsterilized instruments and dirty fingers to attempt to locate the bullet still inside of his body. Had they left it alone, Garfield almost certainly would have survived; his wounds were significantly less dangerous than those survived by Ronald Reagan 100 years later. However, the unnecessary poking and prodding resulted in a serious infection that ravaged Garfield�s body, weakened his heart, left the muscular, 215-pound President emaciated, weighing less than 135 pounds, and turned the 49-year-old Garfield�s dark brown beard and hair a ghastly white color. Fighting for his life in the sweltering summer heat of Washington, on September 6th it was finally agreed upon to transport Garfield to a cottage on the Jersey Shore in hopes that he could benefit from the fresh ocean air. Sadly, it was too late. The infections were accompanied by blood poisoning and pneumonia, among other ailments. On September 19th at 10:35 PM, Garfield suffered a massive heart attack and was pronounced dead. An hour later the messenger arrived at 123 Lexington Avenue.

��

The Vice Presidency was a stretch. Chet Arthur of New York as Vice President? When offered the Republican Vice Presidential nomination by James Garfield in 1880, Chester Arthur was urged by his political mentor, Stalwart leader Roscoe Conkling, to decline the appointment. Arthur, a man who had never spent a day in Congress or been elected to any office at any level, refused. The Vice Presidency was certainly a stretch, but President of the United States? That was an almost frightening thought to a nation still recovering from Civil War and desperately seeking civil service reform, especially now that a disgruntled office seeker had assassinated the President. Arthur as President left a lot of Americans worried � some because Arthur�s political background was as the powerful and somewhat shady Collector of the Port of New York, appointed during the corrupt administration of President Ulysses S. Grant and eventually fired by President Rutherford B. Hayes during a housecleaning of corrupt institutions; and some because James Garfield�s murderer had claimed to be a Stalwart and, by his own words, insinuated that Garfield�s shooting might be a conspiracy on behalf of Arthur�s side of the divided Republican Party.

Chester Arthur was a creature of the era known as the �Gilded Age� and was the symbolic mascot for the widespread political corruption of the 1870�s due to his position at the Port of New York. Born in Vermont in 1829, Arthur was the son of a preacher and grew up mostly in upstate New York, graduated from Schenectady�s Union College in 1848, briefly taught school while studying law, and was admitted to the bar in 1854. As his law practice grew in the 1850�s, Arthur immersed himself in New York Republican politics yet never ran for office. A political appointee to the New York State Militia, he found himself serving during the Civil War and his superb organizational skills led to quick promotions all the way to quartermaster general in 1862, a position which carried the rank of brigadier. As a political appointee to the militia, however, Arthur served at the pleasure of the Governor of New York and was forced to resign in 1862 when a Democratic Governor took office. Returning to New York City, Arthur resumed his law practice and political gamesmanship. More appointments came his way as he supported Republican candidates throughout the state and worked on national campaigns such as President Lincoln�s 1864 bid for re-election and Ulysses S. Grant�s 1868 Presidential campaign.

In 1871, President Grant appointed Arthur as Collector of customs at the Port of New York which gave Arthur responsibility for about 75% of the nation�s customs duties and was one of the most powerful patronage positions available in the United States government. Arthur used his office to efficiently raise money for Republican campaigns and candidates, supporting President Grant�s 1872 re-election campaign by seeking contributions from his employees at the customhouse. In 1876, Arthur championed his political mentor, Roscoe Conkling, for the Republican Presidential nomination, but supported Rutherford B. Hayes in the general election, once again using the employees at the customhouse to help raise money to finance the successful Republican campaign. However, once Hayes was elected, the new President made it clear that he was serious about civil service reform and that meant reforming Arthur�s customhouse, too. In 1877, Arthur testified before the Jay Commission, which was formed to investigate charges of corruption and eventually recommended that President Hayes reduce the workforce of the customhouse and eliminate the corrupt elements that had worked there for so long. Due to Arthur�s longtime support of the Republican Party, President Hayes offered him an appointment as consul in Paris in order to quietly remove him from the Port of New York. When Arthur refused the appointment, the President fired him and Arthur resumed his law practice in New York City.

When Arthur headed to the 1880 Republican National Convention at the Interstate Exposition Building in Chicago, it was as a New York delegate supporting the aspirations of former President Ulysses S. Grant who was coming out of retirement to seek an unprecedented third term. However, neither of the front-runners for the nomination � Grant and Senator James G. Blaine of Maine � could capture enough votes from delegates to clinch the nomination. After thirty-five ballots, Blaine and another prospective candidate, John Sherman of Ohio, threw their support behind a dark horse candidate � Ohio Congressman James A. Garfield. On the next ballot, Garfield clinched the nomination and reached out to the opposing wing of the Republican party for his Vice Presidential choice. The first choice, Levi P. Morton of New York (who would later serve as President Benjamin Harrison�s Vice President), declined Garfield�s offer, and Arthur � who had never previously held an elective office � excitedly accepted, much to the chagrin of his angry political mentor, Roscoe Conkling. Not confident in Garfield�s chances for election, Conkling told Arthur, �You should drop it as you would a red hot shot from the forge." Arthur replied, "There is something else to be said,� and Conkling asked in disbelief, �What, sir, you think of accepting?�. Despite the complaints and anger of Conkling, Arthur told him, �The office of Vice President is a greater honor than I have ever dreamed of attaining. I shall accept. In a calmer moment you will look at this differently."

Following the election, Arthur prepared to settle into the quiet role of Vice President during the 19th century. The Vice President of the United States has only one real responsibility � to preside over the Senate and even that responsibility is normally delegated to Senators who rotate as presiding officer almost daily. The powerful or even influential American Vice Presidency is a fairly recent evolution, not even 40 years old. While some Vice Presidents were relied on for advice or counsel or given larger duties than others, most Vice Presidents were so far removed from the Executive Branch that they were not only kept out of the decision-making process, but also kept in the dark about certain information. For example, when President Roosevelt died towards the end of World War II in 1945 and was succeeded by his Vice President, Harry Truman, he had to be quickly briefed about the existence of the Manhattan Project to develop atomic weaponry. Still, the first Vice President to have an office in the White House was Walter Mondale and that didn�t occur until 1977, so in 1881, a Vice President was expected to preside over the Senate on special occasions, cast a tie-breaking vote when necessary, and be available to take the oath of office if the President happened to die or resign.

Like most 19th century Vice Presidents, Chester Arthur didn�t spend much time in Washington, and he was returning to his regular home in New York City on July 2, 1881 when he stepped off a steamship with Roscoe Conkling and was told that President Garfield had been shot. In fact, the message that Arthur received first erroneously reported that Garfield was already dead and at the request of Garfield�s Cabinet, the stunned Vice President immediately returned to Washington, D.C. to proceed with the next steps necessary to maintaining the continuity of government. When Arthur arrived in Washington, President Garfield�s condition had improved and his recovery continued to show signs of promise as the Vice President and the nation prayed for him and held vigil throughout the summer. Shaken by rumors that he and his "Stalwart� wing of the Republican Party conspired to assassinate Garfield, Arthur returned home to New York City, hesitant to invite criticism that his continued presence in Washington was merely an eager deathwatch so that he could grab power.

Garfield clung to life for eighty excruciating days with doctors probing him in an effort to remove the bullet in his body, causing infections and leaving the President suffering from blood poisoning which led him to hallucinate at times. The Navy helped rig together an early form of air conditioning in Garfield�s White House sickroom in order to give him relief from Washington�s stifling summer conditions. When Garfield was taken by train to New Jersey in early-September, it was clear to many that the long vigil was nearly over. More infections set in, along with pneumonia and painful spasms of angina. When the messenger arrived at 123 Lexington Avenue just before midnight on September 20, 1881 to inform Arthur that President Garfield had died just 60 miles away, the new President wasn�t suprised, but he also wasn�t quite prepared. The nation worried about the lifetime political operative stepping into the position being vacated by the promising President assassinated before he could enact the civil service reforms promised in his Inaugural Address. What would Arthur � the quintessential patronage politician � do as President? Nobody knew, but Chester Alan Arthur had an idea.

��

It was fitting that Arthur was surrounded by friends when he took the oath of office at his home in Manhattan at 2:15 AM on September 20, 1881. Arthur�s beautiful wife, Nell, died of pneumonia in January 1880 and he was inconsolable for months, regretting for the rest of his life the fact that she never saw his election as Vice President or ascendancy to the Presidency. People who knew Arthur stated that he clearly never fully recovered from her death, and that as a �deeply emotional�romantic person�, it was no surprise that he ordered that fresh flowers were placed before her portrait in the White House every day while he was President.

Chester Arthur had a lot of friends. That�s what happens when you control as many patronage positions as Arthur controlled for as long as Arthur controlled them. But it wasn�t just his political position that gained him friends. Arthur was a great storyteller, a man who loved to hunt and fish, kind, easy-going, charming, graceful, and smooth. During his life he was nicknamed �Elegant Arthur� and is considered one of the most stylish of Presidents. Photographs of Presidents from the 19th Century show us men no different than statues. They dressed the same, the looked the same, and when portrayed in the black and white photos of the time, we feel no differently when we see their pictures than when we see a slab of marble carved in their image. Arthur leaps out of his photographs, however. He was a very large man for his era, standing 6'2" and weighing around 220 pounds during his Presidency. Large muttonchops connected to a bushy mustache and his close-cropped, wavy brown hair seemed to pull back his forehead and place more emphasis on expressive black eyes that easily reflected his moods. While it seems that most Presidents of the 19th century wore the same boring black suit and black tie like a uniform, Arthur�s ties are patterned, jewelry is visible, collars are crisp, handkerchiefs are folded creatively, and his lapels shine as if they were polished along with his shoes. We see photographs of Arthur in fashionable overcoats, a wide variety of hats, and he employed a personal valet who helped the President change clothes for every occasion � he was said to have over 80 pairs of pants.

Most apparent of all is that Arthur was a gentleman � an interesting man with superb social skills and fastidious manners. Even as one of the top operatives in New York�s Republican political machine of the corrupt 1870�s, he was nicknamed the �Gentleman Boss�. As President, he brought entertainment back to the White House � something that had been missing on a large scale since before the Civil War twenty years earlier. His predecessor, Rutherford B. Hayes, was one of the few critics of this development, stating that there was �nothing like it before in the Executive Mansion � liquor, snobbery, and worse." Arthur also redecorated the White House, hiring Louis Comfort Tiffany to help with the design. To help raise money for the redecoration, Arthur basically held a White House yard sale. On the lawn of the mansion, twenty-four wagons full of history (including a pair of Abraham Lincoln�s pants that were left behind in a closet) were sold to citizens. To some, the items were priceless; to President Arthur, they were ugly and a man like Chester Arthur did not live in an ugly home. Several weeks after Garfield died, Arthur got his first look at his new home and quickly stated, "I will not live in a house like this." He didn�t end up moving into the White House until three months into his Presidency.

��

After taking the oath of office at home in Manhattan in the early hours of September 20, 1881, now-President Arthur proceeded to Washington, D.C., stopping in Long Branch, New Jersey to pay respects to the late President Garfield and his grieving family. Once Arthur succeeded to the Presidency upon Garfield�s death, there was no Vice President, no president pro tempore of the Senate, and no Speaker of the House (Congress had not elected its leadership yet), thus, there was no Constitutional line of succession. If something had happened to Arthur at that moment, the United States would have faced an unprecedented Constitutional crisis. As his first act as President, Arthur immediately called the Senate into session in order to select their leadership positions and place someone in the line of succession. Upon arriving in Washington, Attorney General Wayne MacVeagh suggested that Arthur take a second oath of office and he did so at the U.S. Capitol on September 22nd in the presence of Garfield�s Cabinet, members of Congress, Supreme Court Justices, and former Presidents Grant and Hayes.

Americans worried about the former machine politician�s integrity were transformed quickly as Chester Arthur underwent somewhat of a transformation himself. Widely considered a lapdog of New York�s Roscoe Conkling, Arthur broke ranks with the party boss and pushed for the same civil service reform championed by James Garfield prior to the assassination. Arthur�s former associates in the New York Republican Party were disappointed when he declined their requests for political favors. One former colleague sadly reported, "He isn�t �Chet� Arthur anymore. He�s the President." Arthur found that the transformation was almost automatic and out of his control, noting that "Since I came here I have learned that Chester A. Arthur is one man and the President of the United States is another." His old benefactor, Conkling was one critic of the new President, complaining "I have but one annoyance with the Administration of President Arthur and that is, in contrast with it, the Administration of Hayes becomes respectable, if not heroic." Arthur signed the Pendleton Act in 1883 with created a modern civil service system and eliminated the spoils system that had long dominated American politics. This reform, which Conkling called "snivel service� was the final break between the longtime friends and colleagues.

To the American people, the great surprise of an Arthur Administration was the fact that it was clean, honest, and efficient. Arthur helped lift the gloomy moods that had shadowed Washington through the Civil War, Lincoln�s assassination, Reconstruction, the corruption of the Gilded Age, and Garfield�s assassination. His popularity rose throughout his term and most critics focused on his lavish entertainment or the fact that he was notoriously late for meetings and seemed bored or lethargic at times. He often procrastinated � as a White House clerk once said, �President Arthur never did today what he could put off until tomorrow." Still, most Americans were happy with President Arthur and echoed the thoughts of Mark Twain who said, "I am but one in 55 million; still, in the opinion of those one-fifty-five-millionth of the country�s population, it would be hard to better President Arthur�s Administration.�

He was bored, though. President Arthur didn�t like being President. He enjoyed the entertaining dinners that he could throw and loved public events or ceremonies that allowed him to meet the people of the United States, but the desk work was tedious and he wasn�t interested in policy. Arthur stayed up late and seemed to vacation often, which perplexed many people because it was said that he was constantly exhausted. What they didn�t know was that from almost the time he become President, Chester Arthur was dying. In 1882, he was diagnosed with Bright�s disease, a fatal kidney ailment at the time. Despite reports that he was suffering from the disease, Arthur hid it from the public, desperately protecting his privacy, as always. Arthur�s distaste for the Presidency probably stemmed in part from depression triggered by the Bright�s disease. At times, Arthur suffered from debilitating illness and it was always covered with a story about the President catching a cold during a fishing trip or spending too much time in the sun while hunting. In a letter to his son Alan in 1883, the President confided, �I have been so ill that I have hardly been able to dispose of the�business before me.�

Despite his popularity, Republican leaders opposed Arthur�s renomination as President in 1884. The man who opposed it most, however, was the President himself, who stated �I do not want to be reelected." Not only was he disinterested in a second term, but he knew very well that there was a possibility he might not even survive to the end of his current term. He did, and after attending the inauguration of his successor, Grover Cleveland, on March 4, 1885, Arthur returned home to New York City where his health rapidly declined. The former President was aware that he was dying and made plans for a relatively quiet retirement, deciding to practice law, but doing very little work due to his health. When asked about his future, Arthur said, "There doesn�t seem anything for an ex-President to do but to go out in the country and raise big pumpkins." On November 16, 1886, Arthur suffered a stroke that paralyzed his left side. Gravely ill, he called his son to his bedside the day before his death and had all of his public and private papers stuffed into trash cans and burned. On November 18, 1886, the 57-year-old former President died in the same place he became President just five years earlier, 123 Lexington Avenue in New York City. After a quiet funeral at the Church of Heavenly Rest on Fifth Avenue in New York, Arthur�s remains were buried next to his beloved wife at Rural Cemetery in Albany, New York.

��

When President Arthur had many of his personal papers burned prior to his death, he eliminated one of the best sources of information for future historians. With a thin resume and a fairly uneventful Presidency, there wasn�t much public information about his career, either. This leaves us with very little to remember Chester Alan Arthur by. Research on his life � particularly his personal life � is difficult, and Arthur would have appreciated that. During his Presidency, leaders of the temperance movement called on Arthur and urged him to follow the non-alcoholic lifestyle led by President Hayes and his teetotaler wife, who was known as "Lemonade Lucy� .

Arthur�s response: �Madam, I may be President of the United States, but my private life is nobody�s drat business."

And so it isn�t.

Edit: Today I learned that Grant invited Robert E Lee to the White House in 1869, make of that what you will.

# ¿ May 9, 2016 20:21

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Also, I see A. Wyatt Mann has been around for quite a while.

# ¿ May 26, 2016 18:03

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

I'm convinced.

# ¿ May 27, 2016 21:47

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

quote:

He also wants to use the new revenue to address major social issues, like guaranteeing pensions for veterans and their dependents, protecting African Americans from Southern harassment, and guaranteeing all African Americans access to federal education. Harrison is also in �favor of the use of both gold and silver as money, and condemns the policy of the Democratic Administration in its efforts to demonetize silver.� Harrison wants to counteract the growing influence of the railroads and possibly reserve large tracts of land for federal use, but has not stated how he would like to accomplish this goal... Harrison strongly opposes restrictions on immigration and was one of the few legislators to vote against the Chinese Exclusion Acts.

Sounds good to me.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2016 18:32

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Have to admit I'm iffy about Debs after reading this

http://blog.newspapers.library.in.gov/the-black-stork-eugenics-goes-to-the-movies/

quote:

...
Dr. Harry J. Haiselden, chief surgeon at the German-American Hospital in Chicago, was faced with a tough dilemma. A woman named Anna Bollinger had just given birth to a child, John, who suffered from severe birth defects. John had no neck or right ear and suffered from a serious skin ailment, all judged to be the result of syphilis likely passed on by his father. Dr. Haiselden knew that he could save the child�s life through a surgical procedure. But since he was familiar with the conditions into which Illinois� �feeble-minded� were thrown after birth, he convinced the child�s parents to let John die at the hospital. When the news came out that the doctor wasn�t going to perform the necessary surgery, an unknown person tried to kidnap the child and take it to another hospital. The kidnapping attempt failed and John Bollinger died.

While the Catholic Church, one of the few vocal critics of eugenics, was the only major group to initially protest the surgeon�s decision, Haiselden was soon called before a medical ethics board in Chicago. He nearly lost his medical license, but managed to hang onto it. Public opinion was sharply divided. Chicago social worker and suffragette Jane Addams came out against Haiselden. Short of the death penalty for murder, Addams said, no doctor had the right to be an unwilling person�s executioner. �It is not for me to decide whether a child should be put to death. If it is a defective, it should be treated as such, and be taught all it can learn,� she added.

Many of Haiselden�s critics, such as Addams, pointed out that if eugenicists had had their way, they would have killed some of the great �defectives� in history, like Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevksy, French emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, children�s writer Edward Lear, and even the eugenicist Harry Laughlin himself � all of them epileptics. (Biologist Laughlin, Superintendent of the Eugenics Record Office at Cold Spring Harbor and one of the science�s greatest advocates, had suffered from epilepsy since childhood.)

Support for Dr. Haiselden, however, came from many famous social activists. Among them was Helen Keller � advocate for the disabled, a Socialist, and a eugenics supporter (at least in 1915.) Keller, who was blind and deaf since the age of one but thrived against all odds, published her views on the Haiselden case in The New Republic. She thought that children proven to be �idiots� by a �jury of expert physicians� could and perhaps should be put to death. (Keller was an amazing woman, but it�s hard not to view her trust in the opinions of �unprejudiced� medical �experts� as naive.) Chicago lawyer and civil liberties crusader Clarence Darrow � who famously went up against eugenics critic William Jennings Bryan at the 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial � made no bones about his support for the surgeon: �Chloroform unfit children,� Darrow said. �Show them the same mercy that is shown beasts that are no longer fit to live.� Indiana Socialist Eugene V. Debs also supported Haiselden�s decision...

(Then again I admire Bryan and he was racist as hell...)

# ¿ Jun 4, 2016 22:02

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Platystemon posted:

Rutherford B. Hayes: first sitting president to visit the West Coast.

List of United States presidential firsts

quote:

William McKinley:
First President to ride in an automobile (the electric ambulance that carried him to the hospital where he died)

I guess he found the Monkey's Paw.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2016 04:05

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Alikchi posted:

Anybody else fool around in the Oval Office? I guess we wouldn't know.

Does the Oval Office closet count?

quote:

" We had been waiting only a very few minutes when
Mr. Harding opened the door, a door immediately behind
and opposite his Cabinet Room chair. He greeted me
cordially and instructed Tim (a secret-service agent) to
remain in the Cabinet Room. Then I preceded him into
a very small adjoining room, a room with one window.
He explained to me that this was the ante-room, and
crossed over to another door which led into his own
private office.
Once in there, he turned and took me in his arms
and told me what I could see in his face that he was
delighted to see me. Not more delighted, however, than
I was to see him.

There were windows along one side of the room
which looked out upon the green of the White House
grounds, and outside, stalking up and down, face rigidly
to the front, moved the President's armed guard. But
in spite of this apparent obliviousness on the part of the
guard, we were both sceptical, and Mr. Harding said to
me that people seemed to have eyes in the sides of their
heads down there, and so we must be very circumspect.
Whereupon he introduced me to the one place where, he
said, he thought we might share kisses in safety. This was
a small closet in the ante-room, evidently a place for hats
and coats, but entirely empty most of the times we used
it, for we repaired there many times in the course of my
visits to the White House, and in the darkness of a space
not more than five feet square the President of the United
States and his adoring sweetheart made love."

# ¿ Jun 9, 2016 05:06

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 21:52

Nckdictator: Sep 8, 2006; Just..someone

Election night at midnight:
Boy Brian's defeat.
Defeat of western silver.
Defeat of the wheat.
Victory of letterfiles
And plutocrats in miles
With dollar signs upon their coats,
Diamond watchchains on their vests and spats on their feet.
Victory of custodians, Plymouth Rock,
And all that inbred landlord stock.
Victory of the neat.
Defeat of the aspen groves of Colorado valleys,
The blue bells of the Rockies,
And blue bonnets of old Texas, by the Pittsburg alleys.
Defeat of alfalfa and the Mariposa lily.
Defeat of the Pacific and the long Mississippi.
Defeat of the young by the old and the silly.
Defeat of tornadoes by the poison vats supreme.
Defeat of my boyhood, defeat of my dream.

________________

Where is McKinley, that respectable McKinley,
The man without an angle or a tangle,
Who soothed down the city man and soothed down the farmer,
The German, the Irish, the Southerner, the Northerner,
Who climbed every greasy pole, and slipped through every crack;
Who soothed down the gambling hall, the bar-room, the church,
The devil-vote, the angel vote, the neutral vote,
The desperately wicked, and their victims on the rack,
The gold vote, the silver vote, the brass vote, the lead vote,
Every vote?...
Where is McKinley, Mark Hanna�s McKinley,
His slave, his echo, his suit of clothes?
Gone to join the shadows, with the pomps of that time,
And the flames of that summer's prairie rose.

Where is Cleveland whom the Democratic platform
Read from the party in a glorious hour?
Gone to join the shadows with pitchfork Tillman,
And sledge-hammer Altgeld who wrecked his power.

Where is Hanna, bulldog Hanna,
Low-browed Hanna, who said: �Stand pat�?
Gone to his place with old Pierpont Morgan.
Gone somewhere with lean rat Platt.

Where is Roosevelt, the young dude cowboy,
Who hated Bryan, then aped his way?
Gone to join the shadows with might Cromwell
And tall King Saul, till the Judgment day.

Where is Altgeld, brave as the truth,
Whose name the few still say with tears?
Gone to join the ironies with Old John Brown,
Whose fame rings loud for a thousand years.

Where is that boy, that Heaven-born Bryan,
That Homer Bryan, who sang from the West?
Gone to join the shadows with Altgeld the Eagle,
Where the kings and the slaves and the troubadours rest.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2016 01:51

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > SA Decides, 1788-2000: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.