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lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Ibogaine posted:

O'Malley ran in 1824?

It's possible of course, and apparently he left as much of an impression back then as he does now.

Well, per Wikipedia, O'Malley is descended from a War of 1812 veteran, so they must have been referring to that O'Malley running. Clearly, he must have done just as good a job as his descendant.

Also, while I support JQA, I hate that he's picked Calhoun as VP. Not only are his ideas odious, but also, how can you trust a man who is incapable of having a good portrait made of him?

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lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

QuoProQuid posted:

I am writing this from a borrowed tablet at a friend's house, so I am sure there are typos throughout the above. If you notice any errors, either grammatical or factual, let me know and I will correct after I get home.

The entire DMV is shut down until Monday.

You have Calhoun as president instead of vice president (a horrifying idea). Also, JQA's accomplishments are missing that he was president.

Also, yes, this is a terrible election. I don't think I can ignore Jackson/Calhoun's actions from a historical point-of-view, and JQA/Rush's platforms suck. Poor Rachel Jackson, that was low.

When did white male universal suffrage happen?

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Wirt being a Mason and Ellmaker wanting to remove all Masons from office seems like it would be problematic.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
I think the only one of them who isn't completely awful is Francis Granger. Tippecanoe and Webster both are terrible, but my hope is that if one of them gets elected, they'll die in office, and Granger can be president.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
The year is 1836. Presidential candidate Richard Johnson is convinced that the earth is hollow. He secretly begins to perform experiments to see if there might be some caverns under the surface to hide Freemason groups, who are currently being persecuted by President Ellmaker. To his delight, he discovers that his theory is correct, but that delight soon turns to horror as he realizes that the center of the earth contains prehistoric twelve-foot Freemasons--cavemen brothers whose only interest is taking over the world! As the giant Freemasons terrorize the country, Johnson and Ellmaker must team up together with the only man they know can beat the prehistoric horror.

Andrew Jackson: *cocks musket* This meeting has been called to order!

Coming soon to a bookstore near you.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
I'm just going to write in Thaddeus Stevens until we get an election with better choices.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
You guys, I think we may have broken the country. :ohdear: Gonna need a whole lot of hard cider to fix this.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Considering that Thomas Morris is unlikely to make it, I think Birney should keep a second VP candidate in mind. Perhaps that firebrand Pennsylvanian lawyer, Thaddeus Stevens? :allears:

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Corek posted:

Stevens actually supported Clay this year (and Taylor in four years).

I know, but I'd like to think in our version of history, Stevens has been inspired by President Birney to join the Liberty Party and supports him instead. He jumped between so many parties that that wouldn't be surprising if he'd popped up in Liberty Party as well.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Nebakenezzer posted:

2. Transylvania University? Wha-t

There was a colony called Transylvania in what would later become Kentucky. Not sure why they picked that name though.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Harold Stassen posted:

Sylvania means "wooded land", Pennsylvania = Penn's woods etc

Yep, but from looking it up, it doesn't seem to be named after anyone. I couldn't find any explanation, but my guess is it's based on the meaning of Transylvania, Romania, since the etymology is all fancy and Latinish.

quote:

Transylvania was first referred to in a Medieval Latin document in 1075 as ultra silvam, meaning "beyond the forest" (ultra meaning "beyond" or "on the far side of" and the accusative case of sylva (sylvam) "woods, forest"). Transylvania, with an alternative Latin prepositional prefix, means "on the other side of the woods".

foobardog posted:

All of them. The US would have probably just been in constant civil war since 1789 when we didn't vote in Washington.

We have always been at war with Confederasia.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Yay for Frémont, nay for Miss Nancy. Let's take Taylor's advice and hang the South!

Ibogaine posted:

I'm reading Gore Vidal's "Lincoln" right now, so I would like to bitch and moan about the lack of a spoiler alert! So, please use a spoiler tag when you're talking about who won, whether slavery was extended to all states of the union, or how Lincoln did as a president. (At the point where I am, he is mostly dubious and beardy, so I can't imagine that he will be very succesful. I still don't want to ruin the suspension).

The South wins.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Lincoln is alright by me, but I don't trust Johnson at all. No Southern scoundrels in the White House, that's my opinion! I know he's getting on in years, but why couldn't Lincoln have picked a true believer again this time for VP like Thaddeus Stevens? Or even Benjamin Wade? Sigh, what could've been.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
Equal Rights Party or bust, motherfuckers. Victoria Woodhull is an amazing woman and Frederick Douglas an equally fine man*. If they don't win, us suffragettes are going to burn this mother down.

*Granted, it would've been nice if they'd told him he was nominated as VP.

Lycus posted:

John Quincy Adams II is a traitor to the Adams name.

John Adams II is the Jeb of the family: an increasing disappointment unlikely to ever be the next member of the family to get in the White House.

lambeth
Aug 31, 2009

Corek posted:

I actually tried looking up the results for that party and apparently they got so few votes it shows up as 0 in the most comprehensive source I can find.

http://www.ourcampaigns.com/RaceDetail.html?RaceID=1964

She got less votes than no-name independents William Palmer, George W. Slocum, and James B. Weaver (though you'll be hearing from him soon.)

Yeah, it doesn't seem like her vote total was ever tallied, but it was pretty small. Not terribly surprising though. Still, that must've taken some massive (metaphorical) balls to run as a woman while having to put up with bullshit like this:

quote:

Those who objected to her candidacy usually objected on the basis of her gender and not her age. In fact, one Congressman told her that because she was a woman, she wasn't a U.S. citizen. If you're not a U.S. citizen, you can't vote and you can't run for President of the United States.

Also, her take on the election:

quote:

Victoria Woodhull said that even Jesus Christ couldn't have beaten Ulysses Grant.


Mark Twain posted:

"Well, what in hell do you want!"

"I was looking for a gentlem____"

"Don't keep them in stock -- clear out!"

I could have made a very neat retort but didn't, for I was flurried and didn't think of it till I was downstairs."

:drat: he owned Mark Twain

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lambeth
Aug 31, 2009
I learned recently that there are Franklin Pierece and John Quincy Adams gold dollars. I get JQA, but I have no idea why you'd pick Pierce.

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