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Otherkinsey Scale
Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!
What oystertoadfish said.

QuoProQuid posted:

I blame Aaron Burr.

You are the worst, Burr.

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Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!

QuoProQuid posted:

And given we're a decade past the death of Alexander Hamilton, we're probably going to need a new thread title.

SA Decides, 1788-2000: Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story?

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Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!
I wish I could just cast an anti-vote for Andrew Jackson. That's all I really want out of this election.

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Jul 17, 2012

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I can't believe someone would stoop so low as to characterize Andrew Jackson as a bloodthirsty maniac.

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Jul 17, 2012

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Octatonic posted:

I don't trust him. Sure he's running as an outsider, but I only see another AMINO (Anti Mason In Name Only) looking for a quick buck.

This claim is so baseless, it's acidic!

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Jul 17, 2012

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I can't believe the Anti-Masons actually won. I'm so glad.

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Jul 17, 2012

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QuoProQuid posted:

Though officials have blamed a wide variety of causes, from British interference to Freemason machinations, public blame has concentrated on the Democratic Party.

So in the SA Timeline, have the Freemasons and anything even remotely related to them been destroyed so thoroughly that no one even thinks it could be them, or does everyone who blames Masons think Daniel Webster's election halted Ellmaker's righteous campaign prematurely?

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Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!
Still feelin' the Birn. Plus, hey, we've only had two presidents with more than one term so far.

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Jul 17, 2012

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Ibogaine posted:

DeWitt Clinton served twice in 1812 and 1820, and while his terms were not consecutive, he is still the only president with more than one term who's family name wasn't "Adams". That being said, let's make Birney president again before his VP dies.

FOUR MORE YEARS!!!

Huh, I somehow missed that we had our very own Grover Cleveland. Cool.

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Jul 17, 2012

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Lycus posted:

Goons and the Freemasons, waging a secret war across the centuries.

Nothing is goon, everything is permitted.

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Jul 17, 2012

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"Maybe anti-Jacksonian or something" is good enough for me. TAYLOR! *smashes telegraph*

QuoProQuid posted:

So, around this period the abolitionists kept running into a wall when it came to popular support. While the moderates and pro-slavery Democrats could point to the Constitution and the Founding Fathers to say that slavery was legal and justifiable, the abolitionists had no laws or provisions that they could use to support immediate abolition. Some abolitionists, like William Lloyd Garrison, decided that trying to argue within the constraints of the Constitution was fruitless, and took to advocating open rebellion to end the institution. Others, led by Lysander Spooner, decided that advocating disunion was harmful to the abolitionist cause as a whole and that they needed some legal argument to gain popular support.

Enter in The Unconstitutionality of Slavery. Written in 1845 to explicitly address abolitionism's apparent unconstitutionality, the pamphlet tries to prove that the Constitution does not endorse slavery but instead prohibits it. The document cites various clauses of the Constitution related to slavery. Then, using original meaning textualism, which relies on the original definition of the words instead of the original intent of the authors, claims that all the clauses related to slavery are contradictory. Because of poor word choice, the Founding Fathers accidentally produced a document that contained no special provisions protecting slavery. Then, the pamphlet uses a long and complicated analysis of common and natural law to conclude that slavery is evil and thus untenable within the American system.

It's an absolutely ridiculous argument and Spooner himself said that he only wrote it to give Northern "fence-sitters" a technical argument to support abolition.

This is great. Squinting and peering at the Constitution until it says what you want is perennial.

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Jul 17, 2012

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That really sucks, sorry to hear it. Hope you didn't lose too much else besides the write-up.

I'm in favor of #3, nothing wrong with waiting for quality writing. Whatever works best for you, though.

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Jul 17, 2012

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Pakled posted:

Too bad the Equal Rights Party didn't get 0.5% of the popular vote in 1872. I have no doubt in my mind that goons would vote for them in a landslide.

Maybe, what's their platform on Hollow Earth?

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Jul 17, 2012

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Thump! posted:

To be honest, if I was alive at all in the 19th century, I'd just be drunk all the time too.

I'm alive in the 21st century and I'm not clear on why I'm not drunk all the time

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Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!

SlothfulCobra posted:

What would be the capitol of the country in this alternate universe? Washington definitely wouldn't shell out his own personal swampland for these ingrates who dragged him out of retirement to give legitimacy to their new constitution only to not vote for him at all and send him back on his merry way.

When you put it like that, it seems more likely he'd throw them on the Potomac.

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Jul 17, 2012

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reignonyourparade posted:

Straight ticket socialist labor forever.

quote:

To support this effort, Maguire has taken it upon himself to tour the state of New Jersey to deliver speeches to union workers and raise awareness of the Socialist Labor cause. Unfortunately, most of these speeches are unplanned and unannounced. The workers that he interrupts do not seem to know who he is or why he is bothering them.

Hell, same.

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Jul 17, 2012

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"If you are part of team Federalist, you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds every single day, and that's fine. I believe in a full and fair press. I’m here every Sunday morning. I haven't slept in a month. I believe in a full and fair press." -Alexander Hamilton, probably

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Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!
The Onion on the American presidency. Seems relevant to this thread.

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