Working in Development: Leaving sounds like a great decision.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Working in Development: Leaving sounds like a great decision.

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Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

I always think people misunderstand this.

Spaces or the Space Bar?

Because I hit Tab and it makes 4 spaces because I'm not brain damaged.

# ¿ Jun 16, 2017 20:19

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 19:58

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

So the solution to the massive brain drain we have been suffering and an extremely bad and universally hated self proclaimed architect and "Lead Over All Things Web" is to force the few remaining tech leads we have to a mandatory visit to an Escape Room with that shitheel.
:lol:

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 18:09

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Hi team, I really hosed up the new release. You all need to work overtime to cover up my massive failings by Monday.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2017 12:12

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Just put Linux on the Dell.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 20:16

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

So we are going through and ESLinting all of our poo poo now, which is a great way to learn the ins and outs of the new stuff.
Holy gently caress we found some contractor that uses single letter variable names.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2017 19:52

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Pollyanna posted:

Did you never code review your contractor's work?

Oh we do. It's just there are only a few leads that actually care and the rest are either incompetent or have completely tuned out and just merged anything to make velocity go up.

Huge swaths of the codebase are no-go zones now because it's just a huge poo poo pile that the contractors live in and eat their own farts there.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 02:32

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Another gem in the ESLinting mines.

code:


function(a,b){
    return (((typeof a.lastName === 'string' ? a.lastName.toUpperCase() : '') < (typeof b.lastName === 'string' ? b.lastName.toUpperCase) : '')) ? -1 : (((typeof a.lastName === 'string' ? a.lastName.toUpperCase() : '') > (typeof b.lastName === 'string' ? b.lastName.toUpperCase) : '')) ? 1 : 0));
}

Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

E: lol the blame shows this as being from one of the contracting teams tech leads.

Gildiss fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Jul 19, 2017

# ¿ Jul 19, 2017 20:04

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Iverron posted:

Oh my god open offices are the worst why does anyone willingly do this?

If we do the faceboop we can become the faceboop. But no faceboop pay.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2017 03:51

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

The noise within an open office is not limited to just audio, visual noise is rampant in these layouts and gently caress whoever came up with that poo poo heap.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2017 20:32

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

My scrum master at my last position gave everyone a rubber duck. He said if you and the duck can't crack the problem to talk to him and he would link you up with someone that could.
That duck knows his poo poo.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2017 22:16

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

I have nothing to do but that's because we are in regression and UAT testing and me and my team did an actual good job.

Other teams are flooded with defects and I just laugh and submitted my 2 weeks.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 23:47

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Ither posted:

Where are you headed?

To a much smaller company where I will be taking over much more responsibilities. Which is a great opportunity to improve my skills.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2017 23:59

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

Or you could just work whilst at work, instead of posting on these here forums

Regression testing with 0 defects on my track and 1 week before my last day.
Leaving at 2pm.
But making it to 2pm is a challenge, heroic even.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2017 03:41

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Any good tools or techniques for planning out an application.
I find myself spinning my wheels trying to solve one problem and getting side tracked by another that reveals itself working on the first.
I'm working pretty much solo on this, no stories, no BAs, no masters.
Building an online interface to View/Edit/Create nested data.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2017 15:57

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

FormatAmerica posted:

Are you paid hourly? If so, good job dude

And if not you need to stop propping up that broken system.
Let the blame fall to the manager responsible for this.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 01:54

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

RobertKerans posted:

My manager just floated including a touch typing/ speed test as part of the next employee review, as it's such an obvious productivity enhancer. He's very enamoured with things that have numbers he can use to rank people. Also, seemingly in all seriousness, that led to him suggesting that the aim would be keyboards with blank keys as some kind of visual proof of touch typing mastery.

Lmao what a loving idiot.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2018 12:40

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Do realize though that part of this type of work is just having to research and learn new things as you go without guidance or hand holding, because they probably don't know either.

Googling and sifting through Stack Overflow is a very important skill that you wont be putting on your resume.

# ¿ May 17, 2018 16:23

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

bvj191jgl7bBsqF5m posted:

They, uh, look down on Stack Overflow here. I once caught poo poo for reading documentation.

Lmao

# ¿ May 17, 2018 16:55

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Also the job search sucks dick.
It wont be easy and it wont be quick.

# ¿ May 17, 2018 23:13

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Taffer posted:

Keep posting your progress in this thread. People here can help with specific advice like languages and methods, or more high-level advice like what kind of development work you want to do and what bad things to avoid.

They should probably post in the actual newbie/get a job thread as this is more the bitching / horror stories / group meltdown thread.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3376083&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

# ¿ May 18, 2018 01:16

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Shirec posted:

As to why he gives a gently caress :
"Shirec, what if you take a screenshot of something and you're using word wrap and the offshore team isn't? So they are going to ping you back and overall that whole thing will be one whole wasted day over you using word wrap."

Hmmm It's almost like offshoring cost savings are entirely lost on lower quality and time lost in communication availability.
:thunk:

# ¿ May 30, 2018 01:04

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

ChickenWing posted:

good lord I hope this works out for you because your current position sounds like

also your boss is a jerk and you should absolutely make sure to only listen to him to the extent that you don't get fired and take any qualitative advice he gives you with a sizeable portion of salt

christ, what raging dickwad of a manager calls out a junior for being inefficient

Oh you should read the Tragedy of Shirec in the newbie thread.
Her boss is the actual devil.

# ¿ May 30, 2018 14:02

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Rocko Bonaparte posted:

I yearn for a kinder, simpler time when I read about Pollyanna being stuck in a small hole versus this whole new trapped-in-shithell thing.

Edit: Also, there's a real simple way to make all the tests go green. Just assert them against true! It's real simple to do; it's what the offshore team is gonna do!

I think that shitdevils plan is for his US team to write unit tests and then the offshore team writes the code that then passes those tests?

# ¿ May 30, 2018 22:23

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

BurntCornMuffin posted:

Anyone worth a drat will run a run a background check.

Any background check worth a drat will catch this. It'll help you get of that environment, but you'll probably be going to prison instead of a shiny new job.

Lmao

# ¿ Jun 8, 2018 15:26

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Get that HIPAA poo poo or whatever going!

Dance on his grave!

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 02:37

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

freeasinbeer posted:

FWIW HIPAA is pretty lax statute wise so unless the dude was looking up his neighbor and posting it on next door he might not be in violation. I’d need to see the details of what exactly he did

You have to remember that it was written for both podunk doctors offices as well as huge health orgs, and its default is basically “best effort”.

Now there are a ton of big no no’s, like disclosing health records to someone not authorized and a few specific things like using a cloud you don’t have a BAA with as verboten even if encrypted. But for example if it’s self hosted on your own orgs stuff and you are otherwise fulfilling your external BAA, you don’t “have” to encrypt. A lost laptop is a reportable event either way FDE on is way better, but the statute doesn’t require it.

Shirec posted:

Oosh yeah. The actual one I was going to report is also based on him logging onto our older platform to access customer data and see if my team lead's wife was in there, found out she went for a UTI, and then made fun of him for it in front of all of us.

So it's a conversation rather than a document.

Is this valid?

Really invested in seeing this boss burn anyway we can!

# ¿ Jun 15, 2018 03:06

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Shirec posted:

The current advice I’m getting from friends is to do it Rihanna style. I’m trying to gather up the nerves but I think quitting and walking out is my current plan! _{Maybe not Rihanna style cause I’m def not that good}

Just work until the paycheck you want comes in and then leave any work items at your desk and ghost it.

And then report the violation.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2018 23:10

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

CPColin posted:

And then PM all of us your Glassdoor review

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 22:46

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Kill all nerds and the internet

# ¿ Aug 4, 2018 08:12

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

My response to the vim wizards and their keyboard teleports and their productivity.

YAGNI

# ¿ Aug 8, 2018 23:07

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Che Delilas posted:

Yeah, if I don't know why the business wants me to build something, I'll build exactly what they ask me to build. Sounds like a good thing except what they say they want is generally not what they actually want or need.

It's not minor either. It can be on the level of, "We need you to build a machine that will shove people headfirst through this plate glass window." "...why do you want people shoved headfirst into a plate glass window?" "We need to get people into our store so they'll buy things!" "How about I build a door."

Asking these kinds of questions instantly puts you into the top echelon of devs at most places too.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2018 17:08

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

poo poo our server dev just logged time spent on a Jira task.
I need to nip this in the bud and come down hard against this.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2018 15:46

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Slimy Hog posted:

What do you mean by this?

He marked that he spent 30 minutes working on a task in the Jira story for it.

This could have been at the request of our bumbling CEO.

So I will have to ask the reason why at the dev meeting tomorrow. And kick back hard against these dumbass measurements that only lead to binding delivery date agreements based entirely on flimsy guesses.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2018 15:58

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Our CEO will hold meetings.
Then speak very poorly and get constantly distracted by his phone, to the point of answering calls in the middle of these meetings that he has started.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2018 03:47

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

steckles posted:

I've found myself doing the interviewing for developer hires along with one other employee. I don't mind the work and I feel like we've gotten decent at spotting talent. For a while, we didn't bother with any coding questions as just talking with a candidate about previous work experience, spare time projects, and what they're excited about has worked well. Asking about the hardest bug they've ever fixed has become my favourite question.

This was fine until one of the senior devs started pushing for some actual algorithm stuff to be added to the interview. We debated it for a while but I eventually acquiesced and threw in some short questions. Thus far, these haven't made much difference. Candidates who do well chatting about their previous experience do well on them. Those who don't, not so much.

Then the senior dev asks to see the questions I added and they flip their lid and go on this rant about how insulting and "dogmatic" they are. At first I think he wants meatier stuff and is pissed I didn't really fulfil his request, but instead he starts insisting we remove them all together and that coding questions are a waste of time. This confused me for a while but then I realised he probably looked at the questions and didn't immediately know how to answer to them. He's always been a bit of a diva and he obviously thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, but this took me by surprise.

This owns.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2018 00:29

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

I'm not sure there is a process that can fix most of the tech department being on vacation for the better part of a month this time of year.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2018 09:21

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

LLSix posted:

I don't understand the pain and I would like to. Bugs are bugs, what does it matter why the exist or where they were found? Sprint planning or the person responsible for sorting bug reports for priority should be routing them to the right person and making sure they most important ones get fixed irregardless of if the bugs have been around for years or just introduced.

I agree it's bad that QA is wasting their time, and thus under-testing new code but that shouldn't really be an issue for a frontline developer. If anything it should mean less work since the old code has to have at least pretended to be stable in order to get shipped right?

This ends up being a dog chasing its tail. Forever. Like my CEO who is incapable of not sidetracking everything and then wondering why things aren't ready yet.

Time moves in a straight line you gently caress!

# ¿ Jan 8, 2019 00:32

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

necrobobsledder posted:

My boss partially quit

Is this a software stroke? Like the half of his body that doesn't browse hacker news is paralyzed?

# ¿ Jan 8, 2019 01:52

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Protocol7 posted:

I stand firm that my employer is truly unironic agilefall and that DoD document basically describes them to a T.

We do some things right, as far as agile goes, but not the things that actually matter.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2019 00:12

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 19:58

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

return0 posted:

I like to use some of that vocabulary (particularly inventory) to refer to work where the output the value delivered by the work is withheld until long after the work completes. This is usually by one or a combination of:

A desire to cliff-edge work in order to increase its perceived impact, by announcing the launch many features at once.

A pipeline where each stage is catered for by as specialist, where one stage is significantly slower than the others, causing a backlog of invested effort by the other stages. This is typically design & art roles, BI analyst research, etc, which depend on contended development resource to execute.

A technical plan for development where means that no part of a feature can be launched until all of it completes; i.e., a lack of incremental delivery. The parts which could have been separated and delivered early while work is ongoing on the rest is 'inventory' until it's released, it's an investment with unrealized value.

A lack of experimentation leading to commitment of resource on an expensive development effort which doesn't succeed.

An over-eager PM or QA who generate thousands of issues & tickets, needing triaged and maintained despite nobody realistically being able to work on them.

I agree it's not a great fit in terms of the solution space, but there's an argument that the same principles apply. Here's a (long) read that does a decent job of articulating my feelings: https://apenwarr.ca/log/?m=201712.

This is all excellent and fits my current situation exactly. Going to be explaining it this way to the CEO this week that his constant fuckery and changing gears every day is our leading cause of backlog and production woes.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2019 03:08

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Working in Development: Leaving sounds like a great decision.

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