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Draws dicks on every page of textbook
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Dec 5, 2015 01:37
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*is teacher's pet* *gets picked on mercilessly*
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Dec 5, 2015 01:41
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Pththya-lyi posted:*Hand shoots up straight* ya figures you'd be a snitch
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Dec 5, 2015 01:50
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Pththya-lyi posted:*Hand shoots up straight*
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Dec 5, 2015 01:54
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*tries to eat packet of potato chips as quietly as possible*
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Dec 5, 2015 02:01
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Casimir Radon posted:*Genesplicer smashes a tube sock full of marbles across your face, then informs you that this has been an object lesson in how "Snitches get stitches"* *stabs him when he's down and no one's looking*
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Dec 5, 2015 02:02
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Justin Godscock posted:*pulls fire alarm and isn't seen for rest of the day* *sells fundraiser candy to fellow students while we're waiting outside*
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Dec 5, 2015 02:43
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*drops aluminum in perchloric acid*
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Dec 5, 2015 03:27
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*does a drug*
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Dec 5, 2015 03:33
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In my middle school they were doing some kind of project where they loaned out Apple laptops to our year for our whole three years. There was probably some kind of purpose about integrating the internet into lessons, and I do distinctly remember one of our science teachers giving us sites to check out every other day, but in reality the only thing some of us learned was what ROMs were.  also gently caress cursive, our third grade teacher pushed it on us saying it would be required by every teacher as early as fourth grade. It took a few years before print became my default style again. *graffitis the wastebasket in the bathroom stall with my pencil with some kind of response to the conversation already on there. I AM A MASTER CRIMINAL*
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Dec 5, 2015 03:34
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* Has chronic haemorrhoids at age 15, and is borderline retarded, but has straight A's with only a few nights of "extra curricular" activity a month *.
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Dec 5, 2015 04:11
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*is that other rear end in a top hat teacher that hates you for some unknown reason* *walks into your room mid-class* "Hey buddy, could you try to make your classroom quieter? I'm trying to teach my class next door, and it's just impossible with your class being so loud. Show some authority, man" *goes back to his class, delighted to have emasculated you in front of your pupils*
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Dec 5, 2015 04:12
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Today was a lesson in not making assumptions. I have a student in class. Call him Jim. Jim is one of those kids who transferred out of his old school to avoid being expelled. He's been in my class now for about 2 months, and has been a consistent pain in the rear end. He never works, because he's too cool for that. He doesn't need school because he's going to grow up to be either a millionaire rapper or a millionaire basketball player. He is constantly distracting other students and can't keep quiet for more than 4 or 5 nanoseconds. He has a real problem following even the simplest rule or instruction.. Today, he comes into class, He's not saying much, which is unusual, but welcome. He's not working, which is typical. After about 15 minutes he suddenly gets up and walks out of the classroom without a saying a word. By the time I get to the door, he's nowhere to be seen. I call the office to let them know we have a skimmer and get back to the lesson, assuming Jim is exhibiting the dicketry he is so well versed in. About 10 minutes later the office called me to let me know the campus supervisor found Jim in the bathroom, kneeling in front of a toilet, puking his guts out and on the verge of tears. The nurse checked him out and he had a fever of 102F. He had told his mom he was sick, but he'd pulled that before and she wasn't buying it. Poor dude, I assumed he was being a dick and he really needed to leave the class. And a few days earlier a girl puked in the trashcan next to my work station. Well, more next to than in. Well, more on my shoes than next to the trashcan. So I'm expecting to be ill sometime after I incubate for a week or so. Jukeboxblues posted:*does a drug* One of my students came into class thoroughly baked yesterday. She was also holding a significant amount of weed. Second offense, so she's earned expulsion.
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Dec 5, 2015 11:17
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I've had students who were high in my classes before. I make them go into the work room by themselves. I guess I'm the COOL TEACHER 
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Dec 5, 2015 11:58
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Casimir Radon posted:*Genesplicer smashes a tube sock full of marbles across your face, then informs you that this has been an object lesson in how "Snitches get stitches"* Jenkem Delivery posted:*stabs him when he's down and no one's looking* i ... deserve ... this
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Dec 5, 2015 16:30
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genesplicer posted:One of my students came into class thoroughly baked yesterday. She was also holding a significant amount of weed. Second offense, so she's earned expulsion. was it good weed?
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Dec 5, 2015 18:27
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Should have made it A Teachable Moment by berating Jim harshly and with a clever wit and then when he puked wheel on the other students w a grand gesture and a raised eyebrow and tell them that constant poo poo prevents you from getting sympathy when you need it and then announce that the next test will be curved very harshly to set the namby pamby weeners into hysterics over being cheated out of an A that they wouldn't get anyway. A lesson on America.
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Dec 5, 2015 20:42
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Sheep-Goats posted:Should have made it A Teachable Moment by berating Jim harshly and with a clever wit and then when he puked wheel on the other students w a grand gesture and a raised eyebrow and tell them that constant poo poo prevents you from getting sympathy when you need it and then announce that the next test will be curved very harshly to set the namby pamby weeners into hysterics over being cheated out of an A that they wouldn't get anyway. A lesson on America.
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Dec 5, 2015 20:43
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symbolic posted:might as well kick Jim in the balls while you're at it Might as well
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Dec 5, 2015 21:06
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Good afternoon, Mr. Genesplicer! We had really old hand-me-down textbooks in junior high that had decades of ball point graffiti in them (think 1970s science textbooks). Do you still have any laying around? True story: the future class president once super glued all of the covers together, but never really got caught. 
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Dec 5, 2015 21:30
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Dec 5, 2015 22:26
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Sheep-Goats posted:As in life I have noticed too late *draws a heart with SW in it in the corner of worksheet, hurriedly scribbles over it before handing it in*
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Dec 5, 2015 23:59
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Hogge Wild posted:was it good weed? About half the time they call me up to the office to weigh the weed. There are differing reports and penalties based on the amount. This time it was pretty obvious she was over the cutoff. Therefore, I was not called up to weigh the evidence, so I have no idea what the quality was. Considering the fact that it's a 14-year-old we are talking about, I'm willing to assume it was skunkweed.
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Dec 6, 2015 06:04
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That's very sad.
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Dec 6, 2015 06:08
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Professor Shark posted:I've had students who were high in my classes before. I make them go into the work room by themselves. I didn't bust her, so I guess I'm cool, too. I did notice she was stoned, but I was just going to let her wait it out. They came and escorted her out of my class because the first period teacher called it in.
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Dec 6, 2015 06:14
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Dude how old are you and what loving place do you teach in? Is it prison?
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Dec 6, 2015 06:24
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*Uses those fancy remote control watches that came out in 1994 to gently caress around with the old-rear end TV during presentations. Discovers Genesplicer's coffee thermos is full of whiskey, gets him fired.*
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Dec 6, 2015 06:46
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MiracleFlare posted:In my middle school they were doing some kind of project where they loaned out Apple laptops to our year for our whole three years. There was probably some kind of purpose about integrating the internet into lessons, and I do distinctly remember one of our science teachers giving us sites to check out every other day, but in reality the only thing some of us learned was what ROMs were. Originally you were able to access the internet through this connection but that got shut down pretty quick. I discovered this shortly after we took it home. My first time on the internet was an unsupervised 6 hours of me clogging up the phone line. Didn't even think to try looking at any porn, which in 1997 probably wouldn't have been worth the effort.
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Dec 6, 2015 08:53
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