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You are guilty of this. Don't claim you aren't. Don't claim that you have successfully ignored your dog or cat in a cute pose and not said something that, coming from a grown adult's mouth, sounds completely and utterly retarded. What stupid things have you said to your pet when overwhelmed by their adorableness? I have called my favorite cat (the other one's kind of moody) Emperor Biggatron Turbofloof. I will admit this without shame.
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Dec 29, 2015 04:08
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| # ? May 1, 2024 18:16 |
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Pickle is alternately known in my family as Pickle, Pickle-poo, Fatty, Fatass, Idiot Baby, Da Fattest Baby Kitty, Fat and Useless, Squeaky (because she has a pathetic squeak of a meow). Fred is Ferd, Ferdy Derd, Feets, Fredbelly, Floofbeast, Ho-di-do, Hur-de-dur, Doofus, and You loving Moron.
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Dec 29, 2015 17:22
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I call him "boops"
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Dec 29, 2015 20:57
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Kilala is Kiki, Cookie, Delilah, pretty lady, little girl, Queeny, and Bitch. Maya is also Maya papaya and Btamdo, Sid is Sidola or Shithead, Bunny is Jabba.
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Dec 31, 2015 00:36
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"Little guy" God I love him so much.
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Dec 31, 2015 00:52
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'Mr. Fluffy Pants' his real name is Cosmic. there's also a song for the other one. 'Dyn-a-mo, Dyn-a-mo, King of the Universe, Dynnnnaaaa-mo' I also ask them 'Who's a kitty' or 'Who's a stinky cat' or 'Who's a fluffy kitty' etc. pretty much all of the time. Thank goodness no one is around to hear me.
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Dec 31, 2015 04:59
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My Sweetspecial, my Bestbaby.. Muffinator. Champale. Mummy's little superhero. My little Pomenators, The Blank (one of my dogs is really stupid), "who's a fluffy little poofball? is it YOU? Is it my crazy little Siamese?"" Who's got the cutest backfeet on earth?" "Do you like being a little crimedog or have you reformed?"
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Dec 31, 2015 07:52
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I call my dog Sailor "sailboat" and say things like "sailboat is sailing into the yard" when I let him out
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Dec 31, 2015 08:27
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My cat Kitty is also known as Buttmunch. Sadly he responds far better to it than Kitty. *sigh*
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Dec 31, 2015 11:30
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The cat, Toro is known frequently as "that man", "that adult man," and "fartcat".
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Dec 31, 2015 12:35
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What I call my cat isn't nearly as stupid as the way I say it. I say it in the most retarded cutesy-schmoopsy voice ever.
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Dec 31, 2015 20:35
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Kiya gets called Booboo and occasionally Honey Booboo. Or poopybutt or whatever comes out of my mouth without thinking. I did it for some friends once in a way to make her howl for them. I'm not quite sure if the "wtf" were for her or the way I said stupid things to her. Buttercup, the skink, gets called butteredstuff a lot. Mostly cuz of the movie Half Baked.
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Jan 3, 2016 21:28
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If I could have chickens I would call them all peckerhead.
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Jan 4, 2016 01:23
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My beagle, Roger, is rarely called by his name. What started out as a generic term of "Puppy" slowly transformed to "Perpy" (ermagerd meme style), which very quickly developed into "Derpy". He is now known mostly as either Derpy or rear end in a top hat. rear end in a top hat is because of the huffy way he acts when he hears a car door or other sign of life outside the house. How dare them! Callie the cat is generally referred to as Miss Callie, Kitty, or Pretty Kitty. Very unoriginal.
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Jan 4, 2016 03:47
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Sheila gets called all sorts of horrible things - Turd, Fatass, Little Sheila Shitface.... Dogs at work usually get called shithead. gnarlyhotep posted:I call my dog Sailor "sailboat" and say things like "sailboat is sailing into the yard" when I let him out Poor Sailor would be a terrible real Sailor, considering he gets trapped in your living room if a chair is blocking one entrance.
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Jan 4, 2016 06:11
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I recently adopted a tripod Rottweiler named Eileen. She's 5 months old and impossibly adorable. I regularly tell her she's a savage little monster and ask if she wants to go eat babies. I also called her "Skippy the Cripple" and may have sang a song about it to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman." Dogs in my house are also called "sniffer-woofs" and "puddle-butts".
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Jan 5, 2016 00:27
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God, I say so much embarrassing stuff to my cat and call her so many things. I will generally make much of her and say things like "What a kitty you are! You are just *such* a kitty, look at this kitty-face!" Kitty-Face is a semi-common name. Her name is Jackie, but I generally call her "Jackie-Cat" as it somehow sounds cuter or something. When she's purring loudly and being affectionate I call her "Big Purr". "You are such a Big Purr! etc". Also, "BigPaw", as reference to her enormous front paws which actually look more like a normal cat paw with a slightly smaller cat paw growing out the side of it, than a thumb. I mean she has 16 goddamn toes on her two front paws alone, so BigPaw she is sometimes. When I am feeling proper she is "Miss Jacqueline". When she's lashing her tail about she's "Little Miss Tail Lash," you get the idea. It sort of sucks because I didn't get to name her, and I'd never name a cat "Jackie", it's just not something I would ever do. So part of me resents that a bit.
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Jan 5, 2016 01:59
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When I get home every day I greet the dogs with a high pitched squeaky DOOOOOOOGS!! I have accidentally done this out of habit after coming home from dropping them off at the boarding kennel and felt like a complete idiot. I also ask them if they are, in fact, dogs and if they were aware of the fact that yes they are dogs. Sometimes they're even GOOD dogs.
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Jan 5, 2016 02:42
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I constantly just call my cat "Idiot" or "Tard." He's always almost falling off his tower because he can't sit still and he'll fart in his own face when cleaning himself and scare himself because of it.
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Jan 5, 2016 02:42
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Dothewhatnow posted:I constantly just call my cat "Idiot" or "Tard." My dog peed on his own head once.
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Jan 5, 2016 02:49
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Dothewhatnow posted:I constantly just call my cat "Idiot" or "Tard." Yeah, my cat would never do any of those things and I wouldn't call her idiot or 'tard because she seems to have a surprising understanding of the English language and when I say anything disparaging to her, I feel like looks genuinely hurt at times (yes I realize I'm projecting and likely making it up in my head) but I feel like some cats are honestly sensitive enough to pick up on that stuff! So I try to stay encouraging. "Yes, you're such a good girl. You know that, yes you are! You are a good kitty, is what you are, little miss good kitty. Indeed. What a good kitty!" Frankly, it really is a good thing most of us probably only talk like this when we're alone with my pets because just transcribing it is a little sobering in how vapid it is.
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Jan 5, 2016 04:34
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Have a cat named Hunter who is also called Prostitute, fat little nugget, whore, princess puss, mamma puss, fatty and mini cat.
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Jan 5, 2016 06:57
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Drum posted:Poor Sailor would be a terrible real Sailor, considering he gets trapped in your living room if a chair is blocking one entrance. Yeah he's terrible at short range navigation
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Jan 5, 2016 07:07
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kaworu posted:Yeah, my cat would never do any of those things and I wouldn't call her idiot or 'tard because she seems to have a surprising understanding of the English language and when I say anything disparaging to her, I feel like looks genuinely hurt at times (yes I realize I'm projecting and likely making it up in my head) but I feel like some cats are honestly sensitive enough to pick up on that stuff! So I try to stay encouraging. "Yes, you're such a good girl. You know that, yes you are! You are a good kitty, is what you are, little miss good kitty. Indeed. What a good kitty!" I give him tons of praise, pretty much just exactly as you posted but I just can't help calling him some names when he does dumb things. Almost always after he does something he looks around the room like he's hoping nobody saw that. Then he just meows and purrs to try and make me forget what he did by being cute.
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Jan 5, 2016 09:09
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gnarlyhotep posted:Yeah he's terrible at short range navigation And he's so resigned to his fate. "Welp, can't get out. I live on this small patch between couches now."
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Jan 6, 2016 07:39
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I usually call my cat, Hulk, Hulkey-poo. My husband gets annoyed and corrects me to "Mr. Hulk." I used to call our other cat "Little Girl" until I realized how creepy it sounded when I'd call out "come here, Little Girl!"
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Jan 7, 2016 03:31
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Drum posted:Poor Sailor would be a terrible real Sailor, considering he gets trapped in your living room if a chair is blocking one entrance. I dunno, that describes pretty well some people that I met in the Navy.
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Jan 7, 2016 19:40
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"Good dog." I miss that dog.
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Jan 7, 2016 21:11
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I got a new hamster and named him Poe and the first alternative pet name to come out of my mouth was Little Poo. The other ham is my tiny shiny girl, pretty girl, shiny ham, sugarplum, princess, loving idiot moron rodent monster, little hamnugget, little honey bee etc etc
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Jan 9, 2016 18:34
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My cat is named Cooper and we call him Coop, Super Cooper, Koopa Kid, Koopa Trooper, etc. His full name is FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper and so sometimes I call him El Gato Federale e: Coopy-doop, Hangin' with Mr. Cooper, Our Good Good Kitty-Boy, Our Sweet Little Pussy Bear, etc.
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Jan 9, 2016 20:02
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Our dog is regularly called Pooper, Poops, or Woober. (His name is Wylie) Our girl cat is Bread Whore, fat girl, Nerva, and Minerva bad cat. Our male cat is Old man cat, and that's about it. Chuck is hard to nickname. All of these names are said in either super high dumb voices or completely dead serious tones. The dead serious tone for "bread whore" would probably upset uninitiated onlookers, but they don't have to immediately hide any bread products lest they be ripped into and ruined with in minutes of entering the apartment.
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Jan 9, 2016 21:49
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I tend to just call my dog Mia by her name or 'girl' , honestly. Sometimes I call her Good Girl :3 My mother on the other hand.... there's mia-maya, maya, mimi, mia baby, baby girl, cutie patootie...the list goes on, but generally mia-maya is the one she uses the most. I have no clue where she even got that one.
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Jan 10, 2016 10:37
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My cat's name from the shelter is Oscar. I kept that on his documentation like his chip and vet records because it's just easier. I often call him Boxcar because it sounds cooler, it's phonetically similar, and it's not like the fucker ever listens anyway. It's also fun to call him Oscar in as exaggerated a German accent that I can muster. (I do not speak German at all.)
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Jan 10, 2016 10:56
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I called my rats "Poop-poops". Now it's just "Poop-Poop" 
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Jan 10, 2016 23:46
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Jasper's various names include Jazz, Jazzy, Jasperington, Jazzington, Jazzy-jazz-cat, Farts, Fartly Buttkin, Sweetfart (because he's a sweetheart and also a fart), Fats, Mister Fats, Fatlington (he's not actually fat), Jazz-Bees, Peeps, Peeperson, Peepington, and when the light hits him just right, he is Suncat. This cat has no idea what the gently caress his name is even supposed to be probably. 
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Jan 11, 2016 06:59
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Over the years my dog Pistol has become Pittle/Peetle/Pids. He's only ever called by his real name when he's in trouble or if it's a you better listen and do what I say right the hell now situation.
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Jan 12, 2016 02:43
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Over the years my dog Pistol has become Pittle/Peetle/Pids. He's only ever called by his real name when he's in trouble or if it's a you better listen and do what I say right the hell now situation. don't you have like 4 dogs? I remember talking to you on IM a few years ago and there were multiple dogs
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Jan 14, 2016 09:57
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I have snakes. They get called things like Snoot, Snooter, Snooter-Rooter, Pasta Bum, Pasta Child, Fat Noodle, Stinkbutt, Turdbutt, Wiggly-Woo, Spaghetti, Linguini, and Dingus. The hamster (Tony Hamza) is Tony Bologna, Toners, Fuzzybum, Mr Butt, and Turd-Stackin' Fool. I'm really dumb, in general.
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Jan 14, 2016 13:14
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gnarlyhotep posted:don't you have like 4 dogs? I remember talking to you on IM a few years ago and there were multiple dogs Nah just got the two dogs and two chinchillas. I'm at my pet capacity.
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Jan 15, 2016 00:15
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| # ? May 1, 2024 18:16 |
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My Cat has a multitude of silly namesnames. Most of them involve a verb relating to what she's doing followed by "pants," or "butt." Examples: "silly butt," "stretchy pants," "hungry pants," "fuss butt." (Rotten Pants is probably the most common one) The silliest ones are structured a bit differently, it usually consists of a verb describing what she's currently doing. The initial verb's ending is modified to have an ending of "-le." This is followed by said construct repeated with the first letter replaced with "B" or "Bu." For Example "Snoozle Boozle." This one really started years ago when I would feed her she would start walking substantially slower to the feeding spot and I would say "move your fluffy butt," and somewhere along the line that degernated into "fluffle buffle."
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Jan 15, 2016 18:53
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