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Let us remember 2015 (RIP), the year that people predicted would be a box office implosion back in 2013, and then all those people were wrong. If anything, the only thing movie-related that imploded in 2015 was movie websites, as several big ones bit the dust (RIP The Dissolve) We head into 2016 off the back of a record-breaking year, as franchises returned and became the biggest movies of all time. Twice. The Hall of Shame: Entourage - The boys were back, but no one cared! Production Budget: $27.5 million Box Office: $32.4 million (domestic); $44.6 million (worldwide total) Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 - Blart blarted across the silver screen again, Production Budget: $30 million Box Office: $71 million (domestic); $107 million (worldwide total) Tomorrowland - Profitability is more than a day away Production Budget: $190 million Box Office: $93.4 million (domestic); $209 million (worldwide total) Seventh Son - More fantasy dreck chasing that sweet Harry Potter pie. Seventh Son went pieless. Production Budget: $95 million Box Office: $17.2 million (domestic); $114.2 million (worldwide total) Pan - Critics did. Audiences stayed away. Production Budget: $150 million Box Office: $34.9 million (domestic); $125.8 million (worldwide total) Mortdecai - MUSTACHES!!! Production Budget: $60 million Box Office: $7.7 million (domestic); $47.3 million (worldwide total) The Last Witch Hunter - Needed either more car chases, more aliens, or more X tattoos Production Budget: $90 million Box Office: $27.3 million (domestic); $108.2 million (worldwide total) Jupiter Ascending - At least the Wachowskis have Netflix! Production Budget: $176 million Box Office: $47.4 million (domestic); $183.9 (worldwide total) In the Heart of the Sea - No one wanted to watch jerks fight an innocent little whale Production Budget: $100 million Box Office: $13.5 million (domestic); $54.5 million (worldwide total) Fantastic Four - Fantastic production problems, a million rumors and a billion fingers being pointed in all directions. And the movie was weird and boring. Production Budget: $120 million Box Office: $56.1 million (domestic); $168 million (worldwide total) United Passions - FIFA turned out to be more evil than the Legion of Doom. Who knew? Everyone. Production Budget: ~$29 million (numbers vary) Box Office: $607 (domestic); ~$200,000 (worldwide total) 2016 promises more. More sequels, more prequels, more remakes, more sequels to films a generation old, more direct to video schlock, and more television movie originals that suffer the sin of boredom. One oddity is we're now in a new normal with January and February not being the complete dumping ground they used to be. There are barely any bloated, long-delayed disasters coming out this time! The goodness is spread out for the entire year, a never-ending bounty. We might not hit record box offices again this year, but we could have some record trash! The 5th Wave - Teens vs Aliens as the latest YA Dystopian franchise gets dumped in January. Dirty Grandpa - Someone turned the movie Bad Grandpa into a movie with Robert De Niro as Dirty Grandpa. And also delayed it a year so I can reuse the same joke! Fifty Shades of Black - I'm not normally one to complain about the Wayans Brothers, but, uhhhhh.... Wow. The Finest Hours - Captain Kirk 2.0 leads a thrilling Coast Guard rescue. But will audiences care? Or will this be a double feature with that whale movie in Bomb City? Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - This took forever to actually get made, years after the fad of public domain books with "humorous" mashups has thankfully left bookstores. But people love zombies. Deadpool - Ryan Reynolds jumped on a turtle shell and got 99 movie lives, will he blow another one, or is this an actual comeback? Gods of Egypt - A movie that has been on the apology tour since the first trailer due to questionable casting, never mind the fact it looks like an awful Playstation game. London Has Fallen - One of the dueling White House movies earned a sequel. Like "Olympus" was the code name for the White House, "London" is the code name for London. The Divergent Series: Allegiant - Hey, remember this franchise? Me neither My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 - A sequel 20 years too late, no amount of windex jokes will get me into the theater for this one. Okay, maybe if they have their wedding at a windex factory. God's Not Dead 2 - God needs to update his twitter so people stop thinking he's dead. Which fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd: will this be based on? Amityville: The Awakening - A random sequel to a franchise that is older than many people in this forum that has been delayed a year already? But it does have Kurtwood Smith... The Huntsman: Winter's War - The Snow White-less prequel that may turn out to be good based on the cast. I was one of the ones who like the original The Angry Birds Movie - These birds need anger management class! Alice Through the Looking Glass - The original made a billion dollars. The original made a billion dollars. The original made a billion dollars. Warcraft - This will either be an amazing film or an amazing failure Independence Day: Resurgence - Shockingly, this doesn't look as bad as the idea sounded for the past 20 years. But no Will Smith. =( The Legend of Tarzan - The legend is Vampire Eric is now Tarzan. And Samuel L. Jackson, Christoph Waltz, Margot Robbie, Djimon Hounsou, and Jim Broadbent are also in the movie, which has me excited. Pete's Dragon - Pete and his dragon are back to be remade a few years too late to hit the nostalgia train. Ben-Hur - Jack Huston is Ben-Hur. Bridget Jones's Baby - Someone has to step up to the plate while Sex and the City refuses to make a third film! Deepwater Horizon - I was going to ask who wanted a movie about an oil leak, but then I saw Peter Berg is directing, and knew immediately that certain people would be interested. Underworld: Next Generation - Call me when they get to Underworld: Deep Space Nine Ouija 2 - When people go see a movie with no budget and it makes money, the even cheaper sequels will haunt the Earth Untitled Lionsgate Horror Film - The title alone gives me chills!!! Bad Santa 2 - Another cult film gets a sequel way too late for me to care Chicken Soup for the Soul - The book series that was popular 15 years ago has returned in movie form! Jumanji - Hey, it has a release date! Too bad it has no script/director/actors/effects yet. That's just salad dressing. Assassin's Creed - Another film that will either be ridiculous or ridiculously boring. I could watch Michael Fassbender act as drying paint. This year will also see the following DTV/cable flicks: Samurai Cop 2 - A successful Kickstarter and the original is one of my favorite bad movies, but the sequel looks to leaning too far into trying to be terrible territory. Lavalantula 2 - The best Police Academy sequel (besides The Closer/Major Crimes) returns with more crazy bug action and cops we all know and love Bad Sister - Lifetime takes their standard crazy woman obsessed with some innocent dude movie and makes the crazy lady a nun. Mother May I Sleep With Danger - the classic TV movie with the ridiculous title will be remade, with James Franco! I'm actually not sure if there will be another Sharknado this year. SyFy is working away from the ridiculous films in favor of making actual quality content. Those bastards! But all those films is not everything, and there will certainly be more terrible movies announced, more terrible movies to discover, and more movies that looked good that suddenly become terrible due to various factors. I deliberately left off a few controversial films that will get multiple pages of real estate as the films get closer to release, in between the various derails that is this thread's bread and butter. Feel free to add your own! 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008
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Jan 2, 2016 07:10
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Bad Santa 2? what the gently caress
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Jan 2, 2016 07:12
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A perfect new thread title. I look forward to another year of questionable Hollywood productions.
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Jan 2, 2016 07:13
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CelticPredator posted:Bad Santa 2? what the gently caress 
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Jan 2, 2016 07:19
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Tars Tarkas posted:Mother May I Sleep With Danger - the classic TV movie with the ridiculous title will be remade, with James Franco! I can't stand James Franco but this one might just win me over.
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Jan 2, 2016 07:37
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If Asscreed is good, it could supplant Mortal Kombat as the best video game adaptation.
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Jan 2, 2016 07:47
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Josh Lyman posted:If Asscreed is good, it could supplant Mortal Kombat as the best video game adaptation. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the best video game adaptation. Full stop.
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Jan 2, 2016 07:56
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Depressio111117 posted:I can't stand James Franco but this one might just win me over. The surprise Will Ferrel/Kristen Wiig Lifetime movie wasn't nearly as good as the actual idea of a surprise Will Ferrel/Kristen Wiig Lifetime movie, I'm not sure if I like Lifetime's new direction of trying to be campy and so-bad-it's-good on purpose. Sleeveless fucked around with this message at 08:01 on Jan 2, 2016 |
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Jan 2, 2016 07:57
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...they're remaking Ben-Hur? You're making GBS threads me.
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Jan 2, 2016 07:58
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Surprised they haven't already
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Jan 2, 2016 07:59
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FishBulb posted:Surprised they haven't already This will be the 6th film adaptation of the book
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Jan 2, 2016 08:08
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:...they're remaking Ben-Hur? You're making GBS threads me. Readapting from the source material it sounds like (similar to True Grit). The writer is also the same guy that did 12 Years a Slave, which I find incredibly ironic.
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Jan 2, 2016 08:09
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bobkatt013 posted:This will be the 6th film adaptation of the book Yeah I know but it's been awhile since the last one
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Jan 2, 2016 08:13
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I hope they follow Gore Vidal but add more explicit homoerotic themes.
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Jan 2, 2016 08:16
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:...they're remaking Ben-Hur? You're making GBS threads me. From the acclaimed director of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and Wanted. No chance of that being utter garbage...no sir..
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Jan 2, 2016 08:16
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I like both Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter and the first few minutes of Wanted, maybe I will like this Ben-Hur for a new generation.
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Jan 2, 2016 08:36
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I had no idea they were still releasing Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, that there were more Divergent books to make movies out of, or that YA dystopia movies hadn't died off yet now that Hunger Games is over. I also forgot basically all those 2015 releases. Bring on 2016!
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Jan 2, 2016 08:55
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Don't forget, they're still doing gritty live-action remakes of the Disney Animated Cannon! I think I saw a trailer for the new Jungle Book remake when I went to see TFA. I say "I think" because I completely stopped paying attention to it halfway through!
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Jan 2, 2016 10:20
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There are two competing Jungle Books, I got confused trying to keep track of them because I just don't care. I think one had a trailer when I saw Star Wars
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Jan 2, 2016 10:23
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There's also a 2nd sequel to The Ring coming out in April. It's called Rings, and it's in 3D
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Jan 2, 2016 10:25
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Tars Tarkas posted:There are two competing Jungle Books, I got confused trying to keep track of them because I just don't care. I think one had a trailer when I saw Star Wars Growing up the video store had like a zillion Jungle Book movies because apparently every southeast asian country with an animal trainer made one, it's weird to see that be a thing again.
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Jan 2, 2016 10:27
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Isn't there also a Ring vs Ju-On movie?
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Jan 2, 2016 10:30
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I knew all faith in humanity was lost when I saw The Force Awakens in a sold out theater and most of the theater laughed and cheered at the hummed version of The Bare Necessities at the end of the Jungle Book trailer. Also I just found an article titled "First Trailer for Disney’s Jungle Book Will Give You Chills". No it loving doesn't, it just makes me angry. The original animated Jungle Book was great. I'm sure it still is. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. But I'm 100% sure it doesn't need a live action remake rife with trash CGI. A new generation doesn't need a goddamn remake of The Jungle Book. Parents just need to show their kids the original and be done with it. That's been working fine for decades.
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Jan 2, 2016 10:44
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The existence of 13 Hours pisses me off. We will never hear the end of BEEENNGHAAAAZI!!1
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Jan 2, 2016 10:51
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The MSJ posted:Isn't there also a Ring vs Ju-On movie? Yeah, in Japan. No word on if it will get a US release yet
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Jan 2, 2016 10:54
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:I knew all faith in humanity was lost when I saw The Force Awakens in a sold out theater and most of the theater laughed and cheered at the hummed version of The Bare Necessities at the end of the Jungle Book trailer. Agreed, this new trend is very upsetting.  
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Jan 2, 2016 10:54
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Sleeveless posted:Agreed, this new trend is very upsetting.
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Jan 2, 2016 11:00
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:And look how fondly those are remembered! I'm sure this one will be a similar cinematic achievement.
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Jan 2, 2016 11:02
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very disappointed Deepwater Horizon isn't Event Horizon but underwater
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Jan 2, 2016 11:14
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I don't know why they just can't make these Huntsman movies about Charlize Theron, the only redeeming thing about the original Snow White movie with what's her face.
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Jan 2, 2016 11:56
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Sleeveless posted:Agreed, this new trend is very upsetting. We should also acknowledge the 2003 direct-to-video-except-that-really-short-cinematic-release sequel to the 1967 animated film which has cameo appearances by Timon and Pumbaa and a cover of the classic "I Wanna Be like You" by Smash Mouth if we're gonna ride the "Why do they need to gently caress with the classics?" train. It ended with Mowgli facing off against Sher Khan over a pit of lava.  I'm vaguely surprised that Disney didn't churn out several more direct-to-DVD sequels. Edit: I guess Disney somewhat put the brakes on mining their library in recent years. Here's a behind-the-scenes teaser for a Dumbo sequel that never got made: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpac3C3P76Q Here's a mentalfloss.com article about Disney sequels that entered production but were then turned around (but some later got sequels anyway) Snowglobe of Doom fucked around with this message at 12:27 on Jan 2, 2016 |
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Jan 2, 2016 11:58
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:And look how fondly those are remembered! I'm sure this one will be a similar cinematic achievement. This doesn't really square with your earlier comment tho, cuz ur like "Oh noo! These things r gonna be garbage y are they making them they r being treacherous to a classic" or whatever, but then ur reaction to this is like "Oh yeah? Well how do ppl feel about those?" and it's like....ppl mostly forgot about them...probably what's gonna happen with these 2 so who cares?
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Jan 2, 2016 12:26
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exquisite tea posted:I don't know why they just can't make these Huntsman movies about Charlize Theron, the only redeeming thing about the original Snow White movie with what's her face. Theron is in the new movie as the main villain again.
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Jan 2, 2016 12:26
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Both FANTASTIC FOUR and TOMORROWLAND did a lot better worldwide than what I thought they did.
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Jan 2, 2016 12:57
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DrVenkman posted:Both FANTASTIC FOUR and TOMORROWLAND did a lot better worldwide than what I thought they did. Tomorrowland was seriously so disappointing because you could see all the seeds of a good movie in it and I liked its message and concept but it just never came together.
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Jan 2, 2016 13:08
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Sleeveless posted:Tomorrowland was seriously so disappointing because you could see all the seeds of a good movie in it and I liked its message and concept but it just never came together. The third act sort of feels like a cut/reshot mess, which I believe that it was. Oddly, it's the same thing that afflicts both movies since F4 does some pretty interesting things in the early going.
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Jan 2, 2016 13:34
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Casimir Radon posted:The existence of 13 Hours pisses me off. We will never hear the end of BEEENNGHAAAAZI!!1 Yeah, I note the OP didn't actually have that one at the beginning,even though it's dropping in two weeks. Blocked it out, or forgot?  The Forest is dropping soon too, and does not look good, also a sequel for Ride Along, a movie I did not see because I objected to the premise, so I guess there was a reason for a sequel? I dunno. Also, to satisfy my morbid curiosity (because I most likely never will myself), did anyone see Daddy's Home? Is it as bad as the trailers made it look, or worse?
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Jan 2, 2016 14:09
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Rageaholic Monkey posted:I knew all faith in humanity was lost when I saw The Force Awakens in a sold out theater and most of the theater laughed and cheered at the hummed version of The Bare Necessities at the end of the Jungle Book trailer. It looks pretty loving awesome man. It looks like it will instill a sense of wonder and awe, maybe even fear of nature which Jungle book the cartoon certainly doesn't.
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Jan 2, 2016 14:18
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Huh, I thought Pixels was among the money losing megabombs.
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Jan 2, 2016 14:35
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 16:44 |
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Pixels Production Budget: $88 million Box Office: $78.7 million (domestic); $165.2 million (worldwide total) (???) The world is a strange, unnatural place.
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Jan 2, 2016 15:08
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