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How do I claim winnings without giving any to my wife? Tia
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Jan 3, 2016 04:39
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 06:37 |
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As someone who plays lottery year round it's nice to see everyone joining me in my depressing delusion that there's any chance I'll ever win. Hail satan.
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Jan 8, 2016 19:42
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Darth123123 posted:yeah I lost $20 last drawing, fool me once. shits a racket man My advice is to just pick one set of numbers and do advance plays, you still lose your money but at least the false hope lasts longer.
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Jan 8, 2016 19:52
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Ok this is getting out of hand. When someone finally wins this we're going to see a spike in suicides. Our slave society only works if becoming this rich is impossible for the lower classes.
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Jan 10, 2016 16:03
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If I win I'm legally changing my name to John Smith, growing a beard, claiming the prize.. Doing all that poo poo on the arfcom post, and then buying one of these and driving it around the world until I get bored. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoHBHEmv79M Good luck finding me/murdering me, bitches! Also my non-wife/kid family can gently caress all the way off, they aren't getting poo poo from me.
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Jan 11, 2016 04:15
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Germstore posted:gently caress giving to charity. With that type of money you could start your own charity. Non-profits are great tax shelters and you can even pretend to help poors!
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Jan 11, 2016 23:45
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I was thinking of starting a company that basically does debt consolidation. The rub is, you have to move into a dormitory (which you must pay for, but is pretty cheap and basic) and all of your expenses are tracked in detail and you must meet with a counselor once a month to keep things on track for repayment. Basically a voluntary debtors prison except you can leave to work. Also if you try to bail before you finish repayment then there's some contract that basically you are hosed forever in the harshest possible way.
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Jan 12, 2016 21:23
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VendaGoat posted:Have you ever seen "The Shawshank Redemption"? Yes many times but I don't get the reference.
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Jan 12, 2016 21:25
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Jim Barris posted:This is all sorts of illegal. It's also a terrible idea because the only people who'd agree to that for even a minute are exactly the people who'll run out on their debt. People judged high risk can sign up for the advanced version where you are not allowed to leave and get to work sorting my m&ms by color or whatever. Also it's ok I'll just fly these people to some place where this is legal (they pay for the flight) like those re-education camps for gay kids.
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Jan 12, 2016 21:40
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MrChupon posted:A much better move would be to approach collection agencies and buy thousands of people's debts for pennies on the dollar. Then just sit on the drat things until the statute of limitations passes. but I want to make people pay their debt not help society, god.
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Jan 12, 2016 23:22
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Schroeder91 posted:Would any of you not quit your job if you won? Talked to some people that said they would still work their job, and it's not a particularly good job either. I'd give a months notice and help with the transition but my workplace is unique in that its been amazing and I'm friends with everyone I work for and they would be up a creek if I just left.
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Jan 13, 2016 00:24
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Accretionist posted:I've noticed that quickpicks repeat numbers more often, decreasing your odds of regular prizes. This is fact, never do quick picks. Personally I just play one ticket, with advance plays (you can fill a bubble to get advance plays on the slip), and I know what numbers I picked.. so once every few weeks I can just look at all the past drawings quickly and see if my numbers are there (which they never will be) and waste as little time as possible while drawing continued false hope for the longest possible time. Also they give you your slip back when you buy the ticket so you can pay your math tax like a good little drone without needing to fill it out again.
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Jan 13, 2016 18:30
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Meta Ridley posted:Can any statistics pros answer a question? As appealing as it sounds, wasting brain cycles trying to cheat at the lottery is 100% pointless. The only way to win is to pray to satan/aliens to send you the numbers.
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Jan 13, 2016 21:04
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2585157/You-CAN-predict-lottery-numbers-Brazilian-mathematician-claims.html Such a deep and pointless rabbit hole, I'm pretty sure this guy is just trying to get people to sign up for his dumb site.
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Jan 13, 2016 21:13
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WeLandedOnTheMoon! posted:I saw a dude drop 300 dollars on lotto tickets today at the 7-11 and now his chances of winning are virtually unchanged. e- I was trying to do this math but I'm retarded soy fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Jan 14, 2016 |
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Jan 14, 2016 00:02
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Zogo posted:1 in 1,948,009 shot of the big one. If a big pool wins the million dollars isn't not even that much $$$. uhh your odds are nowhere close to that with 100 tickets in powerball a single ticket is 1 in 292,000,000 so 100 tickets would be 1 in 291,999,901 or something so that's a 0.00003390412109284395% improvement.. for $198 extra over one ticket.
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Jan 14, 2016 00:32
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honestly if I won I'd be a little worried about other unbelievably improbable poo poo happening to me like randomly waking up on mars in some alien rape house or growing dicks out of my eyeballs (that last one might own)
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Jan 14, 2016 00:36
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Thursday Next posted:OK I finally played the lottery for the first time in my life. I'm glad to be a part of this Imagine if you could charge lottery tickets, that would just be too much. People would just absolutely max out everything buying them as soon as they were granted any credit at all. Probably buying scratchers.
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Jan 14, 2016 00:52
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experience.
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JediTalentAgent posted:When it gets this huge, what they should do is start funneling it off into a separate jackpot at the $1B mark. People are still going to play for only $1B, BUT once that is won, you've instantly got another ongoing jackpot of of maybe $300-$500M which could easily climb back up to $1B within a few weeks from the momentum. I like the idea of the cash payout getting higher than 1 billion after tax. Just imagine opening your bank account and it has a billion dollars in it. Would your bank just explode? I know how FDIC insurance works but can you even have that much in an account? loving god drat.
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Jan 14, 2016 01:21
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Mariana Horchata posted:surprised the GOP hasnt used the issue of how much taxes are deducted from winnings as a parable to teach the lower classes about the plight of the job creator doesn't fit in 120 characters and can't be spelled with emojis so nobody cares
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Jan 14, 2016 01:22
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Germstore posted:FDIC only covers $250,000 per account. But that's per bank, and per type of account. You could easily get a few million insured by spreading it across multiple banks and accounts. You probably wouldn't put the vast majority of the money in a bank though. I am assuming they give you a huge fuckoff check and you gotta put that somewhere before sending it to your investment accounts or whatever.
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Jan 14, 2016 01:31
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Poetic Justice posted:Also, as long as you don't know the winning numbers, you are both a winner and a loser. yeah observing the outcome is always really a weird feeling like, "drat, if only I knew those numbers yesterday I would be rich as gently caress right now" I bet there's one of those complicated words to describe the feeling of futility at the lack of the ability to briefly into the future
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Jan 14, 2016 04:47
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Poetic Justice posted:everybody post their best guess what the winning numbers will be 4 20 42 69 piss 9 #ifiwon I'd fix my red text custom title
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Jan 14, 2016 04:56
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8 27 34 4 19 powerball 10 YOU LOSE
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Jan 14, 2016 05:00
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Prof. Lurker posted:chino hills california. hahahaaha no, it's a meth factory
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Jan 14, 2016 05:25
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god can you imagine the massive boner that person has right now must be throbbing
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Jan 14, 2016 05:28
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DreamShipWrecked posted:I don't get the logic behind office pools because you either don't get anything out of them or the guy that buys the tickets stops showing up to work anymore. And gets sued to poo poo, as has happened.
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Jan 14, 2016 16:18
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I made a lotto number generator because I don't trust the government to not gently caress me in the rear end!!! Also I feel like random numbers I make up aren't randomy enough. http://pastebin.com/zR5eRfYe Also I was curious about python's random library and random number generators in general.
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Jan 14, 2016 22:53
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nullEntityRNG posted:Pythons random number generator, as well as all of its math functions, then to be on the weak side. It basically creates a rather static and non complicated seed base on clock time of the system on run time and really fails to change as it goes on. You'll get the same numbers if you start on certain seconds which is kinda lame. Usually you'll need more complicated modifications or modifying the default code with something more erratic to replace the seed, like soy did. Yeah I'm just hashing based on a seed the user provides. Obviously though you could easily pipe a hardware RNG output to seed into this to get "true random" but even that is deterministic unless you believe loving nihilist German quantum theorist scum. Unless you can figure out the exact setup the lotto uses to do their RNG it's probably pointless and anyways, you should just steal their code entirely at that point. Also I upgraded the script to provide large sets of non-repeating tickets because this is way more fun than actually doing work: http://pastebin.com/Fxbqctzf
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Jan 14, 2016 23:57
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Germstore posted:Use os.urandom. On Windows it uses CryptGenRandom and on Linux and OSX it uses /dev/urandom. That just gets a random string of bytes, kinda neat but I like the idea of a 1 to 1 mapping between a hash the user provides and the output. It's kinda like using your birthday and shoe size except you actually end up with numbers above 31.
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Jan 15, 2016 00:11
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naem posted:If you have enough million dollars you relocate and start a new life, why stay in the sticks idgi The same reason people live in the sticks at all, they have small minds.
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Jan 15, 2016 00:20
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Here I generated some numbers for you guys for next time: $ python lotto.py "gently caress your face in hell you piss cum" 100 44 55 31 53 62 special: 4 18 30 65 57 16 special: 11 50 42 39 48 24 special: 9 33 45 43 41 58 special: 15 4 36 34 49 23 special: 25 63 38 46 59 35 special: 3 60 69 52 26 1 special: 24 37 40 13 29 61 special: 1 27 10 28 9 12 special: 12 66 11 3 15 2 special: 5 51 56 20 68 22 special: 21 7 64 25 5 21 special: 8 19 8 54 67 14 special: 2 impossibru! maximal numerage achieved sir!
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Jan 15, 2016 00:59
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protip: just pick the same number for special because then there's at least a 1/25 chance of getting a refund. Also when you do pick the right special number you have a cum explosion because you kinda feel like there's a chance.
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Jan 15, 2016 01:29
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hahahaha yes, hail satan.
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Jan 15, 2016 04:50
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Unngh love dat single play jackpot ticket.
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Jan 16, 2016 16:55
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Those people are very stupid and will definitely regret winning. Also lol how fat they are.
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Jan 16, 2016 18:22
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 06:37 |
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I kinda feel like state lotteries have some reasonable level of responsibility to inform the inevitable forklift drivers that win prizes that "people are going to want to murder you now and you should probably lay low." or something to that effect.
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Jan 21, 2016 21:04
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