| houston's coach is forced to experience every minute as if it were only a second long for the next quarter as a penalty for smashing a kansas city player's protective runes off | |
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Jan 10, 2016 01:20
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it takes the striped wizard half the game to figure out kansas city placed a hex on houston that creates an invisible wall whenver houston kicks or throws the ball more than 5 yards. as written by the high elders, he can only punish them for the last two plays.
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Jan 10, 2016 01:22
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after it was discovered that houston's star running back's victory dance was actually an arcane ritual to steal the speed of his opponents, all victory dances or chants were outlawed. it's brought a somber and all too human feel to this year's sportsball game
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Jan 10, 2016 01:27
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kansas city's quarterback is really showing his age this year, especially since he forgot to speak latin backwards during the pre-game psych-up. personally i think it's funny his dentures fly out after throwing the ball.
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Jan 10, 2016 01:31
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where the hell's the ref? is he blind? that guy just tore out a bit of the other dude's hair and started mashing it into a weird paste. you KNOW they banned thaumaturgic contagion links last year, ref! You KNOW THIS
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Jan 10, 2016 01:35
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the ref just threw 4 yellow flags to form an upside down pentagram in front of one of the players and sucked him into the Pit. the coach has called a time out to bargain his soul for the player's return
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Jan 10, 2016 01:41
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kansas city is playing loving dirty, man, they trapped the running back's mind in an illusory world where his family was still alive
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Jan 10, 2016 01:43
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just at the moment of defeat, when all hope was lost, the kicker took a knee and asked everyone on earth to pray for the him. to pray for the future. the hopes and dreams reach the kicker and the game enters overtime
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Jan 10, 2016 01:47
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that was a touching moment of silence for the player from when the football transmuted into a bowling ball in mid flight
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Jan 10, 2016 01:51
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criss angel and david copperfield? Baalbarith, the half time show gets worse every year.
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Jan 10, 2016 01:55
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whoo hooo go chiefs! |
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Jan 10, 2016 01:59
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every time houston found themselves in scoring position one thought burned through the kansas city defense: what the heck is the texan mascot. is it a star devil
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Jan 10, 2016 03:47
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houston actually had a losing record this year but people keep mistaking jj watt for jj abrams so here we are
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Jan 10, 2016 03:48
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ron color posted:houston actually had a losing record this year but people keep mistaking jj watt for jj abrams so here we are you never actually see the slam dunk happen, you just see people running away from a falling basketball and giant shards of glass ---------------- |
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Jan 10, 2016 03:51
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a lightning bolt just struck the field! what's that in the crater? no.. it can't be.. The TECMOmancer!
Qwerinty fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Jan 10, 2016 ---------------- |
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Jan 10, 2016 03:53
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me: what happened to jeremy maclin's knee? it didnt look like he landed very hard houston: ʍǝll soɯǝʇᴉɯǝs dǝodlǝ ɔɐu ɾnsʇ lɐup ʍɹouƃ' dlns ʇɥɐʇ,s ɐ loʇ oɟ ɟoɹɔǝ ɔouʌǝuᴉuƃ ᴉu ouǝ sdoʇ
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Jan 10, 2016 03:54
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i have to come clean, i don't know anything about football. i grew up with baseball. the world series is way more exciting, especially when it's tied 3-3 games and we get to see the 7th and most awful plague
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Jan 10, 2016 03:55
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houston is not reachable by any road, except by a referee pure of heart
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Jan 10, 2016 03:57
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kansas had to make some hard decisions in the draft, but it paid off to get Amazemer, the wax mustachioed man in the top hat who can make the ball disappear in mid air only to be pulled out of his hat
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Jan 10, 2016 03:59
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i thought you said you didnt know anything about football
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Jan 10, 2016 04:00
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i can't believe this. there's no way that happened. the wide receiver, after saying 800 hail marys since the pass, caught the ball in mid ascension and came back to our realm to score the touchdown
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Jan 10, 2016 04:03
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ron color posted:i thought you said you didnt know anything about football football knows a lot about me ---------------- |
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Jan 10, 2016 04:03
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chefs
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Jan 10, 2016 04:05
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chieves
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Jan 10, 2016 04:05
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cheivos
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Jan 10, 2016 04:06
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some sort of a bull monster
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Jan 10, 2016 04:06
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referee after throwing a flag: * he turns on his mic as he traces the jersey number of the offender in blood on the field. he shoots beams of light from his mouth at alex smith and the crowd goes wild*
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Jan 10, 2016 04:10
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people thought bill o'brien was mad when most of his plays involved the player running directly at the sidelines at an almost impossibly specific angle, but when they reappeared on the other side of the field they realized that this was a whole 'nother ball game
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Jan 10, 2016 04:13
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i cant believe brian hoyer killed all the jedi
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Jan 10, 2016 04:17
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welcome to space football, its exactly the same as regular football its just called that because space, like texas, is really big
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Jan 10, 2016 04:17
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in space, stars look like stars
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Jan 10, 2016 04:19
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TWIST FIST posted:welcome to space football, its exactly the same as regular football its just called that because space, like texas, is really big texas, the biggest state in the us, only recently entered the union after being reclassified from "planet" to "land mass" ---------------- |
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Jan 10, 2016 04:20
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Qwerinty posted:texas, the biggest state in the us, only recently entered the union after being reclassified from "planet" to "land mass" hahahaha
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Jan 10, 2016 04:22
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I'm really into the Oilers, I think they're probably doing pretty well this year.
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Jan 10, 2016 04:41
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this is a really odd strategy for the chiefs this year. they keep purposely running into thier own end zone while the texans stand rigid and still, and the texans repeat this behavior while the chiefs are still. wait.. i know this pattern... give me that manuscript. *mumble mumble* "when the score is six and six, after the sixth turn the path from hell leads to light." no.. NO!!! *slams palms on announcer booth and looks down, screaming, at the texans' quarterback drawing a ritual knife out of his cloak*
Qwerinty fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Jan 10, 2016 ---------------- |
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Jan 10, 2016 04:41
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ron color posted:me: what happened to jeremy maclin's knee? it didnt look like he landed very hard |
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Jan 10, 2016 04:53
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the jumbotron emits a rapidly flashing sequence of complex fractals and pulsing tones to keep the audience calm so they don't panic from the impossibilities waging war below them
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Jan 10, 2016 04:57
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Jan 10, 2016 04:59
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Jan 10, 2016 05:01
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| # ? Jun 6, 2024 20:55 |
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people give him a lot of poo poo nowadays, but without tolkein's writing i never would have gotten into football in the first place |
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Jan 10, 2016 05:02
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