Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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The best bitcoin thread on SA is the one in YOSPOS.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 03:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:25

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Renfield posted:

Wafflehound sold semi-precious stones for a while, and by being honest I think he made a modest profit

You can't tell the tale of Wafflehound's legit gems-for-bitcoins business without mentioning that he's a Freemason.

There was at least one goon who enough money GPU mining to buy a new video card, so he did that and was satisfied with his investment.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 17:55

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Scaramouche posted:

Who was the ponzi scheme guy who went down for hard time? That was funny to read his defenders rationale.

I think the only positive outcome was the guy who bought the buttcoin.org domain, didn't he flip it for real money at some point?

pirateat40 aka Trendon T. Shavers

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 01:09

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Cowboy Pope posted:

Okay so a fiat currency is one that only has value by some decree, right? So chickens are not fiat because chickens have some inherent use to them, a dollar is fiat because its worth a dollar because someone said so. I think I get it so far.

Assuming I've got that right, why the gently caress are people saying bitcoins don't count as fiat? I don't see the value being any less made up because a bunch of nerds said it exists versus a government saying it exists, a lot less so if anything. This is a real question

Because they believe bitcoins are "backed by math". They are backed by the amount of mathematical calculations that went into their mining.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 17:43

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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blowfish posted:

ok I need details on this

I didn't realise the Chinese research chemicals in the bitcoin mock game were an actual thing.

quote:

Cut 5-MAPB almost killed my fianc� and I

submitted 10 hours ago by entheogenicpersona

I think the mapb in our last batch was contaminated with acety-fentanyl or some other very potient opiod

Fiance and I took about 250mg each and 20 minutes in I noticed she was having trouble staying lucid and seemed to be nodding off while talking

She kept saying how sleepy she was and itchy her body was

I realized some bad bad poo poo was about to go down

Kept telling her to stay awake and keep talking to me, eventually she collapsed unconscious

Very jerky breathing

I'm so high at this point I can't see straight and so physically weak I can't hold her upright

Basically sat there for 20 minutes trying fruitlessly to get her up and conscious before realizing that I was soon about to pass out too and if I went under we were both dead.

So I started screaming and crying and begging her to wake up and someone to help us.

Eventually there were knocks on the door but I couldn't unlock it. I kept screaming "KICK IT IN, DEAR GOD JUST KICK IT IN PLEASE MY FIANCE IS GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T

I hosed myself up really bad trying to open the door but falling everywere. Cuts and bruises all over, trashed the apartment, broke a water pipe through a wall with my head

Died 3 times.

Body started breaking down muscle tissue and dumping toxins into my bloodstream

Severe liver and renal failure, really bad rhadbomyolosis

I have only partial use of both of my arms and It feels like ive been hit by a truck but I'm going to make it. Fiance was fine, they gave her Narcofan and she snapped right back up.

Be careful.

quote:

D_A_R_E_ 10 points 10 hours ago [quote]

Did you buy this product off any of the DNMs? And if so, which vendor?

[�]entheogenicpersona[S] 15 points 10 hours ago

Montfort off of Agora. Used him many time in the past, favorite vendor of mine with no issues.

I can only guess somehow some of the opiods he sells got mixed in with my MAPB.

Still a solid vendor though don't want to dampen his rep.

same vendor:

quote:

Customer ordered 10g of acetylfentanyl and 100g of methylone from my shop. I forwarded the order to my provider. My provider didn't ship 10g of acecetylfentanyl and 100g of methylone...he shipped 10g acetylfentanyl and ANOTHER 100g of acetylfentanyl. Been using him for over 500 orders without a problem... Customer didn't notice for some reason that both the bags contained the same powder and that the "methylone" was a tan powder instead of being a yellow crystal. received a message after he finalized: "this methylone is obviously contaminated, my buddy used it and he's in the hospital now" I started to investigate as the methylone is always extremly appreciated. Then the day after, received another message "hey bro...sorry to bother but this aint methylone. there's 12 people in hospital now. can i get a refund" I contacted provider who recognised mistake and told me he had shipped acetylfentanyl instead and apologized and agreed to send 200g of methylone for free to compensate. Customer still left 5/5 tough so i guess he was happy to get free 100g acetylfentanyl and methylone despite his buddies almost getting killed by my provider's poo poo. Luckily, everyone recovered. Now that im looking back at the story 1 month later, kinda made me lol imagining an unsuspecting customer wanting a soft MDMA trip and ending up in an hospital bed overdosing on research heroin, wanted to share the anecdote. Still feeling sorry for them, tough. drat chinese, too.

The current title of TCC's RC megathread is "there's 12 people in the hospital now, can i get a refund".

edit: bonus story

quote:

Since messaging his/her business email and asking for a reship has left us with a dead silence, I've decided to go ahead and post here.

Pretty simple story, a group of researchers I know purchased 1g of 5-MeO-MiPT from VENDOR. Shipped with the product were severals papers that appeared to confirm that it was 5-MeO-MiPT.

Unfortunately, instead of drug-testing or allergy-testing the product, the group decided to proceed straight to testing.

Within minutes the normal symptoms of a severe benzodiazepine overdose were observed. Initially we suspected an overdose leading to serotonin syndrome, but the symptoms persisted for approximately ~3 days with severe blackouts.

Upon further examination, it was determined that the sent material was phenazepam and not 5-MeO-MiPT. I guess this is both a warning to always test your purchases and a way to hopefully get the attention of VENDOR for a reship/refund.

Gobbeldygook fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Jan 22, 2016

# ¿ Jan 22, 2016 17:23

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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cumshitter posted:

There was a Bitcoin startup that had the idea to run a fantasy stock exchange for companies that have yet to make an IPO and start trading on the market, like Snapchat or Uber, based on their estimated valuation. They were still in beta but had the brilliant idea of doing their beta testing by inviting friends, family, etc. to participate using bitcoin. Which immediately placed them under the scrutiny of the SEC for using real money (in the sense that exchanging bitcoins is a taxable event, similar to paying someone with stock shares) to gamble on non-existent securities.

The best part is they had bots doing fake trades to artificially boost volume. It's like they set out to violate as many securities laws at once as possible.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2016 01:20

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Blazing Ownager posted:

You know, I know this is the long running joke about Bitcoin but how the gently caress do you send drugs through the US Postal Service and expect not to end up screwed?

The postal service delivers two hundred million first-class letters per day. You have to gently caress up pretty bad for them to take notice of yours.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 19:57

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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univbee posted:

Or, you know, have a sniffer dog.

USPS only deploys sniffer dogs after a letter catches their attention. A recent case in Oregon outlines how USPS uses dogs. The punchline is the Oregon court of appeals ruled they can't grab a piece of mail without probable cause and a warrant, even if the mail screams "DRUGS INSIDE" and a dog subsequently alerts on it.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2016 20:25

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Traveling Salesman posted:

The only reason that I would ever consider using Bitcoin is for the anonymity of it. However, I could never figure out how to get it without:

a) linking my bank account to a bitcoin exchange 😩 (Not gonna happen)

b) buying overpriced "rigs" to mine it 🙈 (gently caress you, I'll keep my money)

I swear, the guy who figures out how to mine coins using an excersize bike will sell them (for real money) and make a mint. (The bikes not the coins.) HumanCoin any one? 😏

The way to buy bitcoins without linking them to your bank account is Local Bitcoins or google "your city + bitcoin atm" (contrary to goon belief, bitcoin ATMs do not just eat your money and tell you to gently caress off). You don't use it to buy bitcoins from some other dude face to face. You use it to find ATMs or online offers. So someone On The Internet might be offering to sell bitcoins for Moneygram. You go to some place that sends moneygrams, put down a bunch of completely bullshit personal details, send the dude money, he picks up the money and sends you bitcoins.

However, real anonymity requires a lot more effort.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2016 20:06

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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Cojawfee posted:

"Bitcoin is the money of the future."
"I'm ruling that Bitcoin is not really money."
"This is actually good for bitcoin because..."

Edit: Those cops are pretty dumb if they think them mentioning they would commit a crime would cause him to be accessory to it just because they bought bitcoins from him. If I whisper "I'm going to murder a prostitute with this" to a store clerk as I buy a baseball bat, should that clerk be charged with money laundering?

They're not dumb. You are guilty of money laundering in Florida if you engage in a financial transaction where you know the other party acquired the money illegally or is going to use the money you give them for some illegal purpose. Florida's money laundering statute.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 03:04

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:25

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

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vortmax posted:

Which exchange was it that actually bought insurance, then when they "got hacked" the insurance company just said "LOL no"?

Bitpay.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 00:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Bitcoin is hilariously broken in 2016