[MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

goons kickstart my coke habit

ive always wanted one and by leveraging the cloud-based crowd funding dynamic paradigm i can rail that sweet sweet fresno flour straight into my dome

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 21:24

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 15:20

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

we gave some dollars to some hobo in alabama 2 years ago and wont shut up about it to this day

who the gently caress thought this thread was a good idea

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 21:28

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

the only thing i willingly give to 20 year olds is herpes

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Jan 19, 2016

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 22:20

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

etalian posted:

Is there any open Kickstarter right now for nuking Toronto?

p sure trump doesnt have an official kickstarter

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 22:24

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

hey guys i just graduated high school and am going to alberta to start a retro icelandic/indian k-bob stand

i have zero management experience but i hear goons will fund anything

i also live in a publicly funded building, be sure to pitch in for that too

godbless

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 01:42

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

whoflungpoop posted:

it wont happen like that. itll happen slowly, like a frog(dog) being slowly boiled to death, and every month the numbers will look worse and extra expenses will pop up and you'll get to the point where you have to compromise and roll back parts of your ~master plan~ but not in a way that recoups any useful amount of your original investment

and then non business normal life unforeseen expenses will also pop up and the ball gets bigger and faster and thanks to your apparently sucky credit history you wont be able to get another lifeline to keep up and you'll be at the point where that cushy full time office job would seem really nice to get back if only you had the time to work it but you wont because you and your fiance will be busy 12-14 hours a day working diligently toward financial doom and failure, and all because you thought working in a loving food stand for a whole year and "knowing people" somehow makes you different than any other delusional impatient jackass millennial who's decided that any kind of work that doesnt immediately realize his impractical dreams is just like, beneath him man

notice how i didnt use any empty business lingo or strategically bolded words? these words are real life words used by people who arent full of poo poo. take your business planning skills and use them to chart out how you're going to grow up, be a loving man, secure your own means, and be happy with the job you have while you gain valuable experience in how life actually works

as a mahleneall i can tell you nobody is going to read your loving novel, old man

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 01:44

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Microwaves Mom posted:

What is your bathroom and plumbing status?
Also are you near any potential competition? Such as a Subway?

My final question is do you plan to expand out into other enterprises such as automotive repair or other things as time goes by?

who cares give him money u h8er

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 02:53

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Dr. Tommy John posted:

These are excellent and well thought out posts, thank you both very much.

I maybe should have been emphasizing some different parts of our plan and being less dismissive of what you guys are saying here, I realize I may have been coming off increasingly indignant.

I refused to hear you about patience and executing this properly and more comfortably over a longer timeline, and I'm sorry if I seemed ignorant in that. But our understanding of what the costs are and our current financial standing are being harshly misrepresented here, even if I completely understand why.

We will not live or die with the money from kickstarter. It will save us some money up front that, as we are discussing right now, is worth at least twice what it will be when we could otherwise afford it. We will be fine through the terms of our lease if we have to rent these items, even if you're right that this time could be less than happy if we are struggling to make enough profit to pay ourselves.

We are saying the same thing here, except you're arguing as if I still may listen to reason and not go through with it. I'm saying what you are, were currently in an uncomfortable position to pull this off and some extra capital would be a good idea. But I'd appreciate at least a modicum of assumption that I might have some idea of how much we'll need for the first leg of a six-month renewable lease.

E: and I hardly posted this here expecting this, though I did want to expose it to some people more critical than those who already support us and see the feedback. I did close this thread yesterday, but I guess it was hilarious enough that someone decided it needed to be revisited and I'm genuinely interested in some of your opinions.

E2: and thank you for directing your vitriol at where it belongs. don't think I didn't notice

to be honest i am a little high and zoned out to this post in a pleasant daydream about how i could get suckers to give me money via ePanhandling.

go to the loving bank and get a loan like a big boy, you lazy goddamned chode

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 06:34

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

I'll fund your entire thing if you let me come impregnate your fiancé. This is a legit offer

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

bring back mod challenges

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 06:38

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

a starwar betamax posted:

It's your fault his suffering continues.

idea: kickstart a parachute account

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 15:16

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Spanish Manlove posted:

The longer you guys try to get epic burns on him in the thread the longer it's on the front page providing free advertising to the lurkers.

i hope someone idiotic enough to donate will spend their money on norweigan/emo gastropubs instead of on an account here

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:00

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Dr. Tommy John posted:

Yeah, I was being too defensive to be courteous.

Thank you to anyone who backed us. I can't tell which of you are who, but it does mean a lot to us and we'll do our best not to fail spectacularly.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:36

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

a starwar betamax posted:

Welp so instead of this thread ending with a light hearted video of the OP eating an eggrroll.....it ends with his fiancee crying herself to sleep and their relationship destroyed.

Another successful.. goon........project ...................................

hell yeah

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 22:06

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 15:20

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

the only fusion i am familiar with involves a couch and a candidate for a tlc show about morbid shut-ins

someone make a restaurant that embraces the culture of these proud people

# ¿ Jan 22, 2016 06:32

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"