[MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

Strangers can give us money if they read our story and our mission and want to support it, and a solid number from both these forums and outside them have done just that.

No one should feel guilted into giving us money because our lot in life is bad or not, that's really not how kickstarter is meant to work.

Go gently caress yourself, even beggars on the streets will give you a reason they need money. You are a spoiled brat asking for free money so you can realize your dream without the downsides like actual commitment.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 20:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 3, 2024 20:47

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Helsing posted:

Gotta say man, I'm not as pissed off as a lotta goons here apparently are that you're asking for money but I am a bit confused about why anyone would help you out when there are plenty of actual charities in the world that will help people who need it. It's not like you're doing something even vaguely artistic: you're literally just asking for handouts to start a private business that won't contribute anything in particular to anyone or anything except you and your bank account (actually it'll probably send you to the poor house but never mind that).

Also: why Kensington Market? I can't imagine the rent isthat cheap and its filled with other restaurants.

For anyone who doesn't know Toronto this is like if Doobie was planning to open his Doghouse in downtown Manhattan instead of some rural hellhole. Not only are you giving money to someone who apparently doesn't have a good enough business plan to get a loan, you're also giving money to someone planning to move into an extremely competitive area that's already over saturated with similar restaurants.

That having been said I do love that Churro place so if this scheme of yours inexplicably pans out I'll be seeing you around.

Nobody is angry.
Nobody cares enough about the OP to be angry.
He should just gently caress off.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2016 21:44

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

I tried to help the OP, but he did not want to gently caress off.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 15:17

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Will you have a donations bucket at the door?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2016 22:04

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Can you look up the address and tell us how long the previous tenants stayed there?

That should give you a good idea of how long your business will live.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 02:59

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

Few things:

Ive done a small amount of front of house, and she's done a fair bit of catering in addition to the stuff we've already done as a business.

And yes, we plan to work twelve hours a day six days a week in a small hot space. It's less time than we put in for several events this summer, but you're right that sustaining it will be a different set of challenges.

We would love to have had 100,000 dollars in the bank to make sure to start our food court takeout counter without risk, as you suggested would be the bare minimum to start a fairly simple business. But unfortunately were just going to have to risk it and hope for the best, it's worked so far.

We would love to hire another cook to help us extend our hours and give us some time to breathe. It's one of the things that can then happen if we get funded and can buy equipment immediately instead of having to pay it off.

This looks like a really bustling market! Build and invest now!!

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 04:32

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

Okay, I can admit that this is a risky endeavor, one that is in no way guaranteed to succeed. I'm not sure where you got the idea that I thought that, or the idea that I think this is the ideal process, or the idea that it's impossible we've considered these things because I was snarky toward a thread of snarky repartee and/or calling my fianc�e a transvestite.

The fact is, you are right about all of this. The odds are against us and we know it. We'd rather have taken more time, built up more capital and experience and opened with a larger staff and fuller operation. But the fact is also that we were offered a pretty grear opportunity, were keeping overhead costs in a place that was cheaper than our booth model, and we were successful enough in that model so far to have convinced ourselves we have a shot.

I don't want to sound ungrateful or dismissive of concern of advice, but I will ask you this. If you had a promising business and a good opportunity that was going to provide even an outside shot at doing what you love every day a couple years ahead of schedule, would you take a shot?

And furthermore, if you decided to take that shot, and were faced with either borrowing more or running a crowd funding campaign, would you not see any value in the fact that failing a kickstarter still builds publicity that succeeding at a bank does not? Why have so many of you immediately assumed that we couldn't borrow this money, or that anyone runs a kickstarter aiming to target mostly internet strangers?

I wouldn't take a "good chance" at completely ruining my life and relationship, just so I could skip the step where I saved up money. Maybe that is why I'm living a satisfactory existence, free of begging for money.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 04:54

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

What information have I given that leads you to these certainties?

What about the fact that we already work together in small spaces for more than 12 hours a day?

The fact that you're turning your personal relationship into both a personal and professional relationship and don't understand the implications.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 05:05

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

50% of marriages fail. More than 50% of restaurants fail in their first year.

OP is a first time husband, first time restaurant worker.

That is like a 25% chance of success at best.

Not even married yet either

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 05:08

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

These are excellent and well thought out posts, thank you both very much.

I maybe should have been emphasizing some different parts of our plan and being less dismissive of what you guys are saying here, I realize I may have been coming off increasingly indignant.

I refused to hear you about patience and executing this properly and more comfortably over a longer timeline, and I'm sorry if I seemed ignorant in that. But our understanding of what the costs are and our current financial standing are being harshly misrepresented here, even if I completely understand why.

We will not live or die with the money from kickstarter. It will save us some money up front that, as we are discussing right now, is worth at least twice what it will be when we could otherwise afford it. We will be fine through the terms of our lease if we have to rent these items, even if you're right that this time could be less than happy if we are struggling to make enough profit to pay ourselves.

We are saying the same thing here, except you're arguing as if I still may listen to reason and not go through with it. I'm saying what you are, were currently in an uncomfortable position to pull this off and some extra capital would be a good idea. But I'd appreciate at least a modicum of assumption that I might have some idea of how much we'll need for the first leg of a six-month renewable lease.

E: and I hardly posted this here expecting this, though I did want to expose it to some people more critical than those who already support us and see the feedback. I did close this thread yesterday, but I guess it was hilarious enough that someone decided it needed to be revisited and I'm genuinely interested in some of your opinions.

E2: and thank you for directing your vitriol at where it belongs. don't think I didn't notice

You clearly feel ashamed about something because you have closed this thread twice now.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 06:25

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

whoflungpoop posted:

i doubt anyone thinks ur going to change ur mind, its the goon in the well scenario except the goon is shaking a change jar

u should def close this thread tho i dont know why u havent been banned yet other than the mods reopened it for folks to dogpile on u. if u take one advice close it and take ur pitch to people who are actually in ur city

This thread was never about changing his mind. He's doing whatever it is he's doing and taking his fiance with him no matter what happens.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 06:26

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Noyemi K posted:

counterpoint: the longer he keeps beating around the bush defending himself for his mistake the longer it's on the front page inviting more lurkers to get in an epic burn (or alternatively say something about his wife)

I hope he doesn't get burned!!! (on the grill, of the restaurant he is opening)

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 15:54

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Noyemi K posted:

whoopdee loving doo! poo poo, guess I was wrong, OP's restaurant will definitely succeed with such a massive investment despite reams of industry data suggesting otherwise

Excuse me, that is a market indicator, and it indicates somebody is willing to pay $5 without any realistic chance of getting food in return.

If anything, his backers are proof he will be paid whether or not he creates a product. Instant success.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:00

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

First up, I have definitely brushed off criticism from posters who were offering sound and helpful feedback. I'm sorry about that, this has been an experience that I should have expected but underestimated, and some of this got to me despite my best efforts before any of the current posters arrived.

Next, you aren't wrong about the holes in our plan. Someone said something about owning my decisions like a man; well yes. We are impatiently rushing a schedule, and no one is forcing us to do that besides some minor circumstances unrelated to this thread. I recognize that you all have a right to an opinion about our business plan the moment I post asking for money, and I've tried to do my best not to tell anyone not to have that opinion. You can think were greedy entitled impatient idiots, hell you might be right, but the point isn't whether you'd do this, or whether you think I should have never gotten to this point in the first place. I was dismissive because we were already here, not because I thought your process seemed too hard or overly conservative.

You are right that we are rushing into this, that our plan is fraught with risks and potential disasters. I tried to argue this by shouting back the measures we've taken to try and mitigate those risks, but it's important that I acknowledge that I do share your concerns. I know the goon in a well story quite well, and I'm aware that I'm the goon and that I pissed off the guys with the rope. I just wanted to be clear that I don't want any rope, and while I may have tried to be too heavy with the marketing bravado to admit it initially, I'm perfectly aware of the chances of escaping this well through the bottom. If you don't wanna support that kind of foolhardy overconfidence, I do not begrudge you that. We have a chance, and none of you are wrong that it could be a better chance, I'm sorry I dismissed that idea. But overconfidence or not, were already doing this for the summer, and perhaps questioning that commitment led me to be kind of a shitpostin dickweasel

How much does a PR specialist cost to hire? Because you're going to need one.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:02

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

You are delusional and can't separate criticism from anger.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:03

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Dr. Tommy John posted:

Yeah, I was being too defensive to be courteous.

Thank you to anyone who backed us. I can't tell which of you are who, but it does mean a lot to us and we'll do our best not to fail spectacularly.

Somebody paid you money for nothing and you can't even bother to address them by name.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 16:34

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

a starwar betamax posted:

me must be at the part of the episode where the soft piano music plays and urkel learns an important llife lesson

*staring at overdue bills while a debt collector calls his cell phone*

"Did I do that??"

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 17:28

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Parallax Scroll posted:

i mean it's fine if people don't know about doobie

but if you're gonna ask gbs to kickstart your restaurant, researching how that turned out seems like a good first step

*donates*

# ¿ Jan 20, 2016 22:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 3, 2024 20:47

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Let it be known, I tried to help him, but he did not take my advice.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2016 20:02

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [MOD CHALLENGE: pg 15] Please give me money to make "Filipeno food"