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james garfield was going to abolish mondays by executive order so the calendar lobby had him killed on July 2nd, several months into his term garfield never saw the date of his death coming, the calendar people made sure of that. the 364-day 1881 calendar is still a valuable collector's item |
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Feb 12, 2016 15:49
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crayboor nh'h'hto is still the only US president to ever eat an infant on live television (all others were proven to be previously recorded). he's also the only president to remain uncaptured on the FBI's most wanted list for three decades
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Feb 12, 2016 15:58
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President Bernie Sanders, the 45th President of the United States, sent me a nice chrono-campaign email from the future thanking me for voting for him, which apparently I did. Or will. Whatever. The point is in the future where he's President, marijuana is legal, people who opposed it now wonder what the hell they were thinking, and corporations now pay taxes gladly because Johnson from accounting realized that the legal team corporations were paying to staff actually cost more than the taxes they would've had to pay in the first place. Johnson got a promotion. The Federal income derived from these increased revenues resulted in better social programs leading to improved well-being of people in general and US citizens are actually making eye contact with one another again. The US infrastructure is being renewed and Americans are being employed to repair it. School programs are being Federally funded and children are happy. College education is considerably reduced and the minimum wage has been raised to $15 an hour. Donald Trump has started a new TV show called "Who Wants to be a Millionaire President" where he is the host, the only contestant, and always the winner. He is also certifiably insane having lost the 2016 election but the networks refuse to not take his money for broadcasting the hopelessly awful show. Hillary Clinton literally said "gently caress it!" on national television and accepted Bernie Sander's offer to be Vice President, telling CNN "It's better than nothing!" https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 12, 2016 17:09
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people always talk about how good George Washington was, but I wonder if he even existed... if you examine the records you'll find that no videos or even photos exist of him at all 
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Feb 12, 2016 17:17
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Feb 12, 2016 17:19
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alnilam posted:people always talk about how good George Washington was, but I wonder if he even existed... if you examine the records you'll find that no videos or even photos exist of him at all also no photos of john adams and john "quincy" adams in the same room together. "quincy-dence?" |
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Feb 12, 2016 17:26
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not many people know that sally hemmings was actually responsible for the majority of shakespeare's work as well as jeffersons writings (due to the fact that Thomas jefferson was actually mute and illiterate) but the evidence is buried somewhere in the money pit on oak island.
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Feb 12, 2016 18:12
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George Washington did not actually chop down a cherry tree, he murdered a helpless orphan standing in front of it and his subsequent axe strokes heavily damaged the bark. (don't worry, the tree survived)
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Feb 12, 2016 18:15
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obama is not the first black president, there were several of them during the nubian occupation but the history books tend to gloss over that period |
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Feb 12, 2016 19:38
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Richard Nixon's middle initial is not a letter of the alphabet. It is not actually a character at all, it is a living organism that keeps changing form. Pick up the same newspaper on different days and you may see it as "Richard M. Nixon", "Richard Q. Nixon", "Richard P. Nixon", perhaps even "Richard &. Nixon". Nobody is quite sure what to make of this slowly-morphing succession of symbols. At times it seems to be spelling out a message in an unknown language. One theory holds that it is a recipe for universal peace; others believe it is spelling out the true names of God, and when it is complete the universe will be snuffed out of existence.
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Feb 13, 2016 00:26
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Ben Franklin is my favorite president
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Feb 15, 2016 17:05
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MrWillsauce posted:Ben Franklin is my favorite president They put him on the 100 because he was the 100th president |
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Feb 15, 2016 17:07
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James Battlemoore, the 0th president, is best known for having been the first president to lead a rebellion against his own administration in the Palindrome Uprising of 16b8 (he was succeeded in this tradition, of course, by the time-traveling ghost of Teddy Roosevelt). However, some newer methodologies of president-reckoning do not account for a 0th president at all--they skip straight from the -1st to the 1st--which suggests that he may never have existed in the first place, presumably being a fabrication of overly zealous computer scientists.
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Feb 15, 2016 23:31
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I thought of another president joke. Are you ready? Here it is: George Bush
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Feb 15, 2016 23:43
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MrWillsauce posted:I thought of another president joke. have some respect, this man served our country both as president and as member of the armed forces here's proof: 
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭ |
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Feb 16, 2016 01:24
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| # ? Jun 5, 2024 23:58 |
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I really like Billy I think he is going to bring the club to a whole new level. Ever since he got voted in when he was just head of serving the drinks he has really lifted spirits around the clubhouse.
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Feb 16, 2016 02:03
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