How Can I Get Jews To Like Me?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > How Can I Get Jews To Like Me?

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Hey goons, I'm a fellow likeable white guy/person capable of unspeakable acts. In the spirit of multiculturalism I have always strove to befriend various less fortunate/attractive minority-type individuals.
I have treasured relationships with individuals from the negroid, hispanical, and india-indian races; we freely trade snipes and slurs and enjoy our camaraderie, yet it's been a long time since I chummed it up with a semite.
Does anyone have any helpful hints in my finding and befriending a member of the 12 tribes? Not looking to marry Sarah Silverman here, just expand my horizons.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:09

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# ? May 5, 2024 02:55

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

Three words that I live by: Cool Leather Jacket

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:10

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

Jews are very personable but I could never escape the feeling they were getting one over on me in even the most mundane of friend situations.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:11

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

Suck their dicks op.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:13

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

Professor Shark posted:

Three words that I live by: Cool Leather Jacket

ah poo poo do I have to get the keychain too?

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:14

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:16

dreezy: Mar 4, 2015; yeah, rip.

wait'll the JIDF hears about this.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:17

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

It probably wouldn't hurt to have the words COOL LEATHER JACKET embroidered or tactfully painted on the back of your jacket, in case anyone is confused

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:18

RideTheSpiral: Sep 18, 2005; College Slice

compliment their curly hair and crooked scheming noses

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:19

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

Suck their dicks op.

Let's not get into the circumcision issue but your idea applies to any race as far making new friends

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:21

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

start with me. paypal me $5 (I like money to an unreasonable degree, for some strange reason) and i'll convince my fellow jews to like you.

Professor Shark posted:

Three words that I live by: Cool Leather Jacket

also this

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:21

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Throw money at them OP

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:24

World Kraid Center: Oct 18, 2009

do the jhon mccain get your hands up and aaah oooh

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:28

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Throw money at them OP

see, I told you

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:30

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

A good not over the top leather jacket will actually do wonders if you aren't some sort of creature

# ? Feb 17, 2016 12:31

Masturbasturd: Sep 1, 2014

I'm not made of money here, people! Any way I can jew a jew down to simple mutual admiration?

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:02

Windows 98: Nov 13, 2005; HTTP 400: Bad post

Sorry but my people will never accept you OP

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:14

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

Champenema posted:

I'm not made of money here, people! Any way I can jew a jew down to simple mutual admiration?

tell you what i'm gonna do, i'll like you unconditionally but only if I get some kind of material compensation.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:15

Slugnoid: Jun 23, 2006; Nap Ghost

are you money?

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:31

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Watch a lot of Woody Alan movies and develop a sense of humor that centers around being uncomfortable and nervous.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:34

The Hman: Jan 6, 2015

Go take care of their aging old mothers OP

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:53

Cake Smashing Boob: Nov 5, 2008; I support black genocide

How much money have you got?

# ? Feb 17, 2016 13:57

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

share the love of christ with them

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:04

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

Talk frequently about your love of bacon, cheeseburgers, and the liberation of the Palestinian people.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:04

Acres of Quakers: May 6, 2006

You gotta get your faction up. There's a number of turn-in quests you can complete near gaza that can take you all the way to "friendly" if you grind thrm enough.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:11

SLICK GOKU BABY: Jun 12, 2001; Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls

Try giving them a gold cross necklace. They will be your friend if you say "Good Job" while handing it to them.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:25

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Dirty Sanchez posted:

You gotta get your faction up. There's a number of turn-in quests you can complete near gaza that can take you all the way to "friendly" if you grind thrm enough.

There's also the gold sink dailies where you just put money in your Roth IRA at any affiliated bank

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:29

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

dreezy posted:

wait'll the JIDF hears about this.

theyre already here. soon theyll be calling their mod

# ? Feb 17, 2016 14:37

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

gas OP burn thread. just kidding have some humor but you do want to fit in, don't you?

The trick with jews is to spraypaint big metal coins with gold spraypaint and clink them whenever you think out loud. also, you have to think about getting more money all the time so when you think out loud you're talking about taking more money.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 15:30

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

# ? Feb 17, 2016 15:33

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

I also love giant titties.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 15:33

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

Murder Arabs.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 15:59

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

I'm not saying actually do it, but it would work.

Stop looking at me like that.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 16:00

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

keep a couple handfuls of pastrami in your pockets, the real thing not some boars head bullshit.

# ? Feb 17, 2016 16:04

ghosTTy: Sep 22, 2008

# ? Feb 17, 2016 16:05

Doghouse: Oct 22, 2004; I was playing Harvest Moon 64 with this kid who lived on my street and my cows were not doing well and I got so raged up and frustrated that my eyes welled up with tears and my friend was like are you crying dude. Are you crying because of the cows. I didn't understand the feeding mechanic.