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Oh never mind. dont contact his mom she might get pissed now
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Mar 1, 2016 23:50
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| # ? May 9, 2024 08:59 |
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using my dog rogue powers i make an attempt to steal splatmaster's death and distribute it amongst everyone (now everyone is like 5% dead but splatmaster is back) roll for effectiveness |
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Mar 2, 2016 00:14
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I begin to skin the dragon to take it's scales. I also take a few decent sized bones with me. Afterwards, I begin to hang around staring dead ahead into space, awaiting orders.
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Mar 2, 2016 00:23
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you just have to believe in yourself, there's a little skeleton inside of us all 
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i spend an inordinate amount of time trying to find shwa so they (she?) can pry the jar open. |
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Mar 2, 2016 00:35
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headed into class for a few hours, DM can control me if he feels the need to. |
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Mar 2, 2016 00:38
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My actions gather my cut of the treasure, build a fire, harvest dragon meat and some dragon scales from Daren. E: These scales will make a fine set of armor. Yobgoblin fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Mar 2, 2016 ---------------- |
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Mar 2, 2016 01:05
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Geoffrfy gets smacked by Duckie, and reels backwards, shamed and pained. Isaias B prays hard over Daren's body...  Critical prayer! The skeleton animates and breaks free of its fleshy confines, ready to serve you loyally in the lord's name. "Show me the light, father. I was greedy, but no longer. I sought to avoid the troubled economic times that are to come due to the deflation of fiat currency, and began hoarding gold as per the advice of some dwarven economists, but I care not for gold any longer! I have heard the good word, and that word is 'bone'." The two rear end in a top hat skeletons continue to pester the saint about when they get to go to heaven. The dog uses its connection to the underworld... but fails to distribute Splatmaster's death. The cooked barbarian lies still, flies starting to buzz around him. [blank] takes some scales and skin from the pile of shed flesh, but Daren's animated skeleton refuses to let it take any bones. Yobgoblin does the same. ((what is it with you guys and crafting? I find it weird)) Yobgoblin also stuffs his pockets with gold from the tiny pile, and [blank] resumes its thousand yard stare. Lizard Wizard finds Citizen 11 and begins begging up at her to help it open a greasy jar. What does everyone do?
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Mar 2, 2016 01:15
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I use all of my skill and prowess (and a piece of cloth to improve the grip) to attempt to open the jar by any means necessary
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Mar 2, 2016 01:24
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My action: begin cooking dragon meat with the fire I built to feed the party.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:26
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Geoffrfy the Werewolf Killer Geoffrfy reels backward, shocked at this display of aggression. He roots through the bag, trying to find something to use for self defense. Useless gasmask to dissipate the cockatrice's petrifying breath... Useless fan for blowing the cockatrice's petrifying breath back at the beast... Useless mentos... How could anyone find cockatrices to be the threat that Legrofflye does? ...Until Geoffrfy discovers at the bottom of the bag, like a beautiful sunbeam piercing the sky, the legendary Paring Knife of Em'eri'l. This constantly flaming blade is capable of killing and roasting a cockatrice's chicken-like flesh in a single slice. And after all, ducks are not so different from chickens... Geoffrfy roars a battlecry ((roll for voicecrack)), raises the knife, and ((rolls)) to bring it down swiftly and decisively. Duck's on the menu tonight!
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Mar 2, 2016 01:28
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wait what the hell?
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Mar 2, 2016 01:29
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wait what the hell?
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Mar 2, 2016 01:29
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huh that's a weird double post but i think it's appropriate
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Mar 2, 2016 01:29
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(IDK I'm trying to roleplay a crazy character. I've never done something like this before. He's trying to kill you due to paranoia about werewolves.)
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Mar 2, 2016 01:32
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i tell the dragon not to be so hasty about its hoard. It's the love of money that's the root of all evil after all! Since he has no further use for the gold i tell him he should donate it to the bone church as we need the altar re-goldening. I tell the assholes that the road to heaven is paved with carrying heavy loads of gold from the hoard back to the bone church and tell them to start loading up a wagon. then i want to ride the dragon
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Mar 2, 2016 01:33
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:then i want to ride the dragon lol |
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Mar 2, 2016 01:36
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Daren donates what's left of the small pile of gold to Isaias B, and tells him of the location of his lair, which is full of treasure of all sorts, far away in the dwarven peaks to the north. It is all for the Bone Church's taking. He then lets Isaias B mount him. Yobgoblin cooks some dragon steaks. Daren's skeleton is horrified and roars. Citizen 11 opens the jar without much difficulty, due to clever planning. All of a sudden, the Geoffrfy snaps back, recovering from the smack and draws a flaming sword from his pants! He screams... CRITICAL! he screams a manly roar with no voice cracks at all and brings down the sword on Duckie! the party watches on as Geoffrfy swings down at Duckie, but, as a ninja duck, she has high evasion and ducks out of the way of the blade, narrowly avoiding decapitation.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:40
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i yell at yobgoblin to stop eating the dead and ask Daren to use his breath weapon (if he has one) on Geoffrfy. Duckie can get out of the way of the area of effect if she's so ninjary
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Mar 2, 2016 01:43
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Daren regretfully states that as a skeleton, he has no breath, but he will gladly bite Geoffrfy if his holiness desires.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:44
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I calmly explain that I've never tasted dragon before and letting the meat rot would be a waste.
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Mar 2, 2016 01:49
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Geoffrfy the Vampire Killer Geoffrfy is momentarily pale-faced, then breaks into a too-loud chuckle. "Whooo boy was that awkward! My doctor says these muscle spasms are a symptom of my chronic narcolepsy! Good thing she dodged out of the way!" He then quietly puts the knife into its flame-retardant sheath and considers his options. Perhaps he was too hasty. He will bide his time until he has more information; indiscriminate killing does not seem to be the answer. blaise rascal fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Mar 2, 2016
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Mar 2, 2016 01:50
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So what are we going to do now guys? Theres a lot of stuff we could be killing that we really arent |
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Mar 2, 2016 01:53
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*ignoring the werewolf's excuses* bite him
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Mar 2, 2016 01:56
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Daren charges forward at Geoffrfy in the name of all that is holy... and bites him! Geoffrfy is lifted into the air, his head and most of his torso in Daren's mouth as the dragon begins gnawing at him viciously, rending him apart. What do you do?! ((Also, why does it say that Geoffrfy is a vampire killer now? Is that to fool the other characters?))
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Mar 2, 2016 02:00
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the inanimate blue mask begins to bay for blood, lending the whole scene a lord of the flies quality |
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Mar 2, 2016 02:07
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the inanimate blue mask in constant pain's cries have a mind-warping effect on Citizen 11, making her see red as an urge tugs at her psyche to cover her masked face in blood.
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Mar 2, 2016 02:08
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Tired from all the being on fire and dragon beating, mario falls fast asleep by a clump of bushes.
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Mar 2, 2016 02:11
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oh no! I have to go to sleep. welp, please be kind to my bone dragon and the humble servant of god on his back while I'm away! E: you don't have to be kind to either of those things if you don't want to
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Mar 2, 2016 02:11
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Geoffrfy the --Werewolf-- Killer As Geoffrfy is tossed about, he reflects on how ill-conceived his plot was to throw everyone off his trail by masquerading as his brother Bigsbly the Vampire Killer. "Oh god!" he screams. "As someone obsessed with werewolves, I find being bitten to death to be unbelievably ironic! The pain is excruciating! I wonder what kind of irony this is?!?"  In the midst of his pain, he considers that irony can be broadly classified into three categories: situational, verbal, and dramatic. He remembers that situational irony describes a sharp discrepancy between the expected result and actual results in a certain situation. For instance, when John Hinckley attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan, all of his shots initially missed the President; however, a bullet ricocheted off the bullet-proof Presidential limousine and struck Reagan in the chest. Thus, a vehicle made to protect the President from gunfire instead directed gunfire to the president.  In a swift -crunch-, Geoffrfy's inaction results in a painful bite ((roll for whatever would've happened if Geoffrfy did nothing for a turn)). Assuming he's still alive, he starts to think about verbal irony, which is when the meaning that a speaker employs is sharply different from the meaning that is ostensibly expressed. An example would be ironic similes, where a statement that means A but that eventually conveys the meaning not A is expressed: -as soft as concrete -as clear as mud -as pleasant as being eaten alive by a skeletal dragon The blood loss makes Geoffrfy unable to concentrate enough to remember what dramatic irony is but he's like 80% sure the type of irony that he is experiencing is situational. "Dear god," he says,"There are very many more werewolves that need stabbing. I realize that my, uh, friendly fire rate might not be ideal, but could you help a brother out?" ((roll for divine assistance)) blaise rascal fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Mar 2, 2016
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Mar 2, 2016 02:24
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assuming citizen 11 gave it back the jar, lizard wizard sees yobgoblin cooking. its eyes light up, and it rushes over to assist by reaching into the jar and merrily rubbing pawfuls of grease to the various meat-bits, for it knows that grease is a key component in many a delicious meal.
Scaly Haylie fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Mar 2, 2016 |
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Mar 2, 2016 02:44
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I rush over to one of the giant pools of dragon blood and start to coat my face in it (this is what the mask wanted right??????)
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Mar 2, 2016 02:47
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(this thread owns btw) |
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Mar 2, 2016 02:49
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shwa posted:I rush over to one of the giant pools of dragon blood and start to coat my face in it (this is what the mask wanted right??????) you're on your own, lady, the inanimate blue mask in constant pain refuses to accept responsibility for you using its terrifying wails as an excuse to act out |
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Mar 2, 2016 03:12
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it comes from a good home and wasn't raised to behave in this way, but when it comes to owners, "you can't pick 'em (old mask saying)" |
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Mar 2, 2016 03:13
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Daren continues gnawing on Geoffrfy, crushing his bones and mangling his body beyond recognition. He falls limp and prays for god to help him... but God is on Daren's side in this matter. Meanwhile the lizard wizard covers dragon steaks in disgusting hat grease, and Citizen 11 sticks her face in a pool of dragon blood and rubs it around. Mario snores.
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Mar 2, 2016 03:25
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(ooc: it would be cool if we installed the beacon on Daren at some point) |
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Mar 2, 2016 03:50
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i lie down and take a nap. roll for nap effectiveness |
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Mar 2, 2016 08:02
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i'm just sitting on the dragon, enjoying the view and watching the meat creatures doing their various disgusting things on the ground below. *sigh* meat creatures are so strange.
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Mar 2, 2016 09:43
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tell me about it, pal, thinks the inanimate blue mask in constant pain, and expresses this by making a pained and repetitive fluting sound |
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Mar 2, 2016 09:46
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| # ? May 9, 2024 08:59 |
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Now that I've collected pieces of skin and flesh for no real purpose, I begin to hang around the other undeads.
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Mar 2, 2016 09:52
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