alnilam posted:

I killed my uncle. And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my ghostly old man. I murdered this poor guy because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always going off about how when he was in school and all the people he used to kill. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right? So I'm sitting in the chapel and I'm pondering stuff, and Claudius is praying right next to me me. And he's kinda, he's kinda unaware. Weak. And I started thinkin' about my ghost father, and his attitude about, about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him. And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I'm sitting in the guardhouse, all I could think about was my ghost dad, and Claudius having to become a ghost and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation - the loving humiliation he must have felt. It must have been unreal. I mean, how... how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way. It's all because of me and my old man. God, I loving hate him. He's like this mindless ghost that I can't even relate to anymore.

[crying]

'Hamlet! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for poo poo! Kill kill kill!' You son of a bitch. You know, sometimes I wish my indecision would give. And I wouldn't be able to soliloquize anymore. And he could forget all about me.