- Ace of Baes
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Dead Dad: Hello, I'm back from the dead to talk to you because your uncle killed me.
*I turn around and my face splits into a twisted impish grin. My whole life has led to this moment of triumph.*
Me:Hello! My name is Trex, nice to meet you Back-From-The-Dead-To-Talk-To-You-Because-Your-Uncle-Killed-Me!!!!
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Mar 24, 2016 15:11
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May 22, 2024 03:40
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- Ace of Baes
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Ghost Dad (in booming ominous voice): Your uncle killed me, you must avenge me son!
Me (in high pitched whiny sarcastic voice): "Your uncle killed me. You must avenge me son!"
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Mar 24, 2016 15:13
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- Ace of Baes
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Ghost Dad: Your uncle ended my life, I can only find solace in the afterlife once he has paid for his crime.
Me: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened,
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Mar 24, 2016 15:15
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- Ace of Baes
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Ghost Dad: I need you son, you are the only person who can right the wrongs against me.
Me: Maybe you should have thought about that before you left my sister the speedboat?
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Mar 24, 2016 15:16
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- Ace of Baes
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Ghost Dad: Uncle Patrick must pay for his sins!
Me: So do you just fly around all day, what's your top speed? Could you like fly to the bottom of the ocean?
Ghost Dad: That's not important son, your uncle murdered me!
Me: Can you still get on the Internet? Is there a ghost Twitter, do you hang out with other ghosts? Is there ghost dating with chick ghosts? What about ghost weed?
Ghost Dad: God damnit son.
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Mar 24, 2016 15:19
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May 22, 2024 03:40
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- Ace of Baes
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I killed my uncle. And the bizarre thing is that I did it for my ghostly old man. I murdered this poor guy because I wanted him to think that I was cool. He's always going off about how when he was in school and all the people he used to kill. And I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never cut loose on anyone, right? So I'm sitting in the chapel and I'm pondering stuff, and Claudius is praying right next to me me. And he's kinda, he's kinda unaware. Weak. And I started thinkin' about my ghost father, and his attitude about, about weakness. And the next thing I knew, I jumped on top of him and started whaling on him. And my friends, they just laughed and cheered me on. And afterwards, when I'm sitting in the guardhouse, all I could think about was my ghost dad, and Claudius having to become a ghost and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation - the loving humiliation he must have felt. It must have been unreal. I mean, how... how do you apologize for something like that? There's no way. It's all because of me and my old man. God, I loving hate him. He's like this mindless ghost that I can't even relate to anymore.
[crying]
'Hamlet! You've got to be number one! I won't tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for poo poo! Kill kill kill!' You son of a bitch. You know, sometimes I wish my indecision would give. And I wouldn't be able to soliloquize anymore. And he could forget all about me.
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Mar 24, 2016 23:04
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Mar 24, 2016 15:11
