Gimme your Crock Pot recipes

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Gimme your Crock Pot recipes

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

here is a favorite of mine:

turn crockpot on high
fill water 3/4ths the way up
go actually loving cook food
use hot water as needed

# ¿ Mar 28, 2016 05:39

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 05:32

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

boiled peanuts are literally the best drinking snack ever

I don't even know why you'd eat peanuts roasted and salted. there are so many better nuts to eat that way - cashews, sunflower seeds, idk

I guess if you like the muddy peanutty flavor sure, roasted peanuts are alright

but boiled peanuts - done correctly (lots of salt, some cajun spice) - are the loving poo poo. chomp into a flaccid shell, squeeze out a rich nut right into your mouth, salty brine going all over the place. I mean goddamn. it's where it's at.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2016 09:18

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

also one thing I very much object to about people who legitimize crock pots and frumpy lowest common denominator recipies -

"it's good/easy for a party/having company!"

as if having other people over is a time when you should slack off and take it easy. I mean, as a host, you are hosting. you should go above and beyond your normal capacity to cook to the best of your ability, clean, entertain, make your guests at home.

you don't loving pour slop into a warming bucket and go 'eh, they ain't payin for it;;;; gently caress'em!!'

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 09:01

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

well if you actually like your friends anyways, and want them to want to come back to your house...

# ¿ Apr 4, 2016 09:02

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Pollyanna posted:

So that one post on the first page regarding boneless country style pork ribs is bunk or something? Aren't ribs slow cooked anyway? I'm confused, I thought this forum had a massive erection for slow cookers.

If crock pots aren't good for making food, what are they useful for? I've successfully(?) made beef pot roast in mine so I'm not convinced it's totally useless, but I lack opinions of my own, so maybe I'm wrong.

crock pots are great at making food! I love food! here is a list of some things that are food :

precooked walmart packet of short grain uncle bens white rice
Doritos
spam
a can of beans
stoffers chicken pot pie
hormel beef roast soup
some chicken breasts in a slow cooker with pace pecante sauce poured over them
boneless country style pork ribs or something that are slow cooked in a slow cooker because you COOK ribs SLOWLY right???

here is a list of other things that are food!

a salad
lightly grilled salmon
chicken soup (not out of a can)
a quiche
lentil salad
lamb kofte
fried eggs
shimp dumplings
SOME RIBS YOU ACTUALLY BRINE, DRY RUB, AND LABORIOUSLY SMOKE OVER HARDWOOD (NOT GODDAMNED CHARCOAL) FOR 9 HOURS BECAUSE ITS loving BARBECUE AND YOU DON'T poo poo ON HUNDREDS OF YEARS OF TRADITION AND loving SPIT IN THE POPE'S FACE WHEN HE GREETS YOU, HANDS YOU A DEAD PIG'S CARCASS, SAYS "SON, THIS ANIMAL DIED FOR YOUR SINS, AND I TRUST YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING, NOT STICK IT IN A loving CROCK POT AND SHRUG AND GO WATCH NET FLICKS EPISODES OF MEAN BOYS WHILE JACKING OFF TO PICTURES OF THE GUY/GIRL WHO DUMPED YOU IN 4TH GRADE, PLEASE PROMISE ME IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE YOU WILL AT LEAST DO THIS AND TREAT THIS ANIMAL CARCASS I HAVE ENDOWED YOU WITH AS A LABOR OF LOVE"

but yeah slow cookers are great at making food.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2016 09:07

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

A crock pot heats an enclosed ceramic bowl to a low temperature, for a prolonged period of time. Crock pots are great at that.

What I was attempting to get at is : there are not many parts of cooking for which 'a ceramic bowl at a low prolonged temperature' benefits any recipe or process.

braises are good examples of a process that might benefit re: ease of use, but for a good braise, you should be browning your meat before braising, so it makes much more sense to use a dutch oven or cast iron or something you can crank heat on for the browning process. otherwise you are dirtying a pan just to scrape it off and deglaze into a crock pot - which totally defeats the "ease of use" or whatever that a crockpot promises.

you can also just dump a bunch of raw ground beef and canned tomatoes into a crockpot, and end up with a grey bland mass of something on par with a processed can of soup, but why bother even cooking? canned stews taste great! and take 1/10th the effort!

not at all uppity, just don't want to see my fellow goons spending 45 minutes of their valuable time dumping poo poo in a crockpot, when they could just be opening a can and tucking right in to a delicious meal.

mindphlux fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Apr 15, 2016

# ¿ Apr 15, 2016 11:00

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

psychokitty posted:

The lack of capitalization makes it hard sometimes to read the entirety of his posts. But yes, I see the "ease of use" BS argument now.

great, keep us updated about how hard it is for you to read and comprehend words.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ¿ Apr 19, 2016 06:49

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

bartlebee posted:

I agree with this post, and I also champion slow cookers as a gateway cooking utensil. I started learning to cook from Goons With Spoons from the chili thread five years back, because I knew it was something I liked that I couldn't gently caress up with a slow cooker. That led to me refining my chili recipe to include homemade chili powder. Then, once I figured out I could make my own chili powder, I figured out I could cook almost anything at home. We don't use the slow cooker a ton any more, but it got me cooking.

this is a good point, and one that I frequently forget. I learned to cook by taking on the most difficult thing I could possibly think of taking on at the time (lamb vindaloo, with almost no prior cooking experience when I was like 15 or 16), and then just beat myself up over my failures for the next 5 years until I could kinda make something that tasted ok. It took me another 5 years to nail it to my own standards. That's a lot of time and effort, and thinking about it, if you added up the time I've spent watching cooking videos, reading cook books, working in restaurants, doing research or whatever, I'm sure it'd total more than a year or two of 9-5 work days worth of time investment. Or 3-5, or more if you count time spent cooking meals on a weekly basis. poo poo, maybe you could chalk a solid 1/4th-1/6th of my entire life up to cooking some damned food.

a slow cooker is a perfectly acceptable gateway to cooking, and if it makes a fellow goon enthusiastic and/or optimistic about their ability to really succeed at cooking - without a huge time investment - I'm all for it. the more people who care about cooking in this world - and don't just eat poo poo processed food or mcdonalds or whatever, the better!

from a gws subform perspective though, I like to encourage people to aim high with their cooking! dream big, dear goons. you can totally make that p�t� en cro�te!

mindphlux fucked around with this message at 06:30 on Apr 22, 2016

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 06:27

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Anne Whateley posted:

Encouraging people to aim high is great, but it's really different from making GBS threads on common tools that aren't up to the appropriate food snob level.

Even for people who can cook, most of the time you have other poo poo going on, like jobs that don't feed you, families, housework, and even other interests. Most of the time you're going to be cooking to eat rather than to pursue your craft. I like upping my game on the weekends, but I still have to eat the other five nights of the week. Sure, you can make fast meals, but you can only eat so many eggs, and when you come in late on a cold gross day it's really nice to have a hot, healthy, filling dinner ready to go.

Tl;dr the choice isn't usually between crock pot stew and p�t�; the choice is usually between crock pot stew and Hungry Man or McDonalds. If you want people to choose the healthy home-cooked version, don't poo poo on it. There are a lot of bad crock pot recipes out there, but we should be trying to direct people to good recipes, not pointing and laughing at them for trying.

I just disagree about the 'having other poo poo going on' being an excuse bit. you make time for what you think is worth spending time on.

I run two businesses, work 10 hour days on average, my wife does the same hour wise, and we still devote 2 hours to connect and cook dinner at least 3-4 nights a week.

we don't have kids, but if we did, I'm 78% confident what would give would be the work part - not the cooking part.

anyways, I'm not making GBS threads on it in terms of 'crock pot vs hungry man' - but just saying there are ways to make good non-crockpot food with very very little prep time. I just think using pots and pans as opposed to crock pots differs very little in terms of time spent cooking, and the former skews your chances of actually making something tasty in a very positive direction.

still, again, crock pots are fine. they make food. if that's what works for you, use a crock pot. no judgement. I should probably use one myself.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 07:10

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

oh gently caress.. *☆☆chomps an ivory spon of caviars☆☆*

*grindz down the entire side of the eiffel tower* ya kid keep the change lol

# ¿ Apr 23, 2016 15:04

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

bartlebee posted:

The whole argument is a bit silly because it's different strokes for different folks.

this is pretty much how I feel. I don't care how you make your food per se. I just want to support good cooking. if you wanna call my fam a pretentious dink or discount my predilection or whatever, fair enough. just please fellow goons don't wantonly swallow the crockpot koolaid - I'd argue in many cases there are equally time effective methods to achieve tasty results in a short amount of time.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2016 06:06

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Gaz2k21 posted:

Okay, I've got a quick question....

I roasted a chicken and used the carcass to make a chicken stock, is there anything easy and relatively healthy I can use the stock for that I can cook in my slow cooker?
Any recipe reccomendations?

one good idea for your chicken stock would be to cook eggs!

this is unconventional, but works!!

heat chicken stock in slow cooker
put egg (in shell! this step is important) into slow cooker
remove 45m later. eggs are cooked, and chicken stock can be reused!

hope this one helps, it is a favorite of mine.

mindphlux fucked around with this message at 09:56 on May 7, 2016

# ¿ May 7, 2016 09:54

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Mr. Wiggles posted:

mindphlux can the shells be reused too?

yes you can

a. use a coffee grinder to grind them into eggshell-flour (good as a gluten free option)
b. put them in your compost pile or garden!!! they are excellent at keeping away harmful pests like ladybugs and crickets and make excellent compost (their sharp shells dig handy airholes in your compost via osmosis, allowing beneficial root structures to flourish!)

# ¿ May 8, 2016 09:34

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Captainsalami posted:

Well thats part of it, i dont really know how to season chicken that well to be honest. Blame years of middle american cooking from my mom, most of my stuff is self taught.

80% of the flavor of well cooked chicken comes from the "maillard reaction", aka browning your meat. 10% comes from salt, and 10% comes from seasonings and poo poo.

to brown your meat, you need either prolonged dry / "radiant" heat (aka, an oven or grill), or a cooking environment which will rapidly evaporate moisture and caramelize the surface of the meat. (aka, a pan with a fat in it, or a deep fryer)

suggested recipe : pat dry your thighs, rub them with garlic, salt heavily, toss in flour, and brown your meat in a shallow pan of oil. unplug your crockpot and remove its inner lining. dump your pan fried chicken into the crockpot lining, bring to the table, and serve. watch your guests awe in wonder at how you cooked such wonderful chicken using a crockpot. smile and nod because you're smart, understand how cooking works, and don't loving cook chicken in crockpots .

# ¿ Sep 9, 2016 04:43

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

god I feel bad for whoever is married to this woman

# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 06:56

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

its uh...... its...... erm.................. its erhhhmmmm, great honey!!! thanks for jummmmm the errr food!

looks... err ............. "delish"!

# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 06:58

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 05:32

mindphlux: Jan 8, 2004; by R. Guyovich

Boof Bonser posted:

Did you mean to imply that 10 hours was a lot?

yeah, kinda like you implied this poo poo thread about ramen had content, or that "packing a pork shoulder densely in a shell of brown sugar and throwing it in a crockpot" constitutes "the absolute best pulled pork in the world."

but keep on postin' forums poster "boof bonser", keep on postin'

# ¿ Sep 22, 2016 08:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > Gimme your Crock Pot recipes