quote:

The association contended Mr. Bailey was fired for insubordination, suggesting he was too sensitive and was unable to “forgive and forget” certain conduct by his supervisor, Mr. English. Mr. Bailey’s position, however, was that he did not expect to be fired, and that it was unfair to fire him, for complaining about what Mr. English referred to as “pranks” but the ALJ referred to as, for example, “defecating into co-workers’ lunches.”

To be fair, there does not appear to have been testimony that English defecated directly into anyone’s lunch. He testified, rather, that he had “put his own feces into a bag and put the bag into a co-worker’s lunch.” So there was a bag. I mean, he’s not a total barbarian. On the other hand, there was no bag involved when, as he also testified, he once “sat on a catwalk and defecated toward a co-worker in the ditch below him.” (I assume “toward” means his aim was off, thankfully.)

You may be surprised to learn that these are arguably not the worst things this guy did.

Mr. English testified that he “liked a workplace to be fun,” which is why he did these “pranks.” And, sure, it’s fun to be defecated at, but some of this stuff seems questionable. Like, shooting people. English did not use actual firearms, at least, but he did admit he made a “potato gun” out of PVC pipe and would shoot golf balls and other items out of it at work. He testified “that he never shot the gun toward co-workers, and he did not believe that he shot the gun toward areas where coworkers were working.” But Bailey testified he had done that, and the judge found Bailey’s account more credible (on everything) than English’s. English also conceded that he did in fact shoot co-workers with plastic BBs. He did not recall shooting Bailey, but again Bailey testified otherwise. But hey, all in good fun, the shooting. Team-building exercise. Esprit de corps. That’s what it’s all about, my friends. Same with the bombs.

The what?

The bombs.