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Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Crash to desktop at first bonfire. The real Dark Souls starts here.

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Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Every time I light a bonfire or rest at one I crash to desktop. Excellent.

edit: setting lighting to low is apparently the fix.

Fart Sandwiches fucked around with this message at 03:18 on Apr 12, 2016

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
I wish I would have played more last night. Can't take off work today because of deadlines :(

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

holocaust bloopers posted:

Any cool poo poo in Firelink? Reddit has pointed out there's an easy jump that'll net some stuff that's gated behind a 20k soul key.

Details, man!

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

I tried that very thing last night but I guess I had too many clothes on.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Haven't been able to get as much time in DS3 as I'd like because I get peer pressured into playing the Division since the incursion is new but god drat is it fun being roll-man. I just love rollin.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
I've only beaten 3 bosses (must explore and play jolly cooperation!) so I think I'm going to re-roll my character tonight. I don't like the way he looks so fashion souls is a disaster and I'd like to re-start as knight so I can get that longsword.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

uh, you can change your appearance ingame, and the longsword is a potential drop off of sword and shield enemies in lothric. theres also a merchant you can find that sells it

BUT I WANT TO DO IT NOW AND NOT HAVE TO WORK FOR IT

edit: how do I change appearance, can I become a sexy lady, and how far in game do I have to be?

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

what was the last boss you beat?

Tree man

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

go the other way from his area to the road of sacrifices, then fight the boss thats in the castle ruins there. after that you can get to the cathedral of the deep and thats where you can change your stuff


Cool thanks!

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
I re rolled my character anyway and thanks to map knowledge / better use of levels / better equipment I blazed through to tree nuts in an hour. I also seemed to be getting more drops than my last guy. I didn't check my luck stat but that has to be it.

Also didn't realize there was way more to the zone so now I'm exploring the settlement some more because exploration is fun.

Edit: I also like how if a phantom kills a lizard it just puts the item into your inventory.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

SperginMcBadposter posted:

The huge parasite things hit so loving hard :negative:

It's also really hard to tell if they're attacking or just wigglin around. I haven't died to one yet but I had one spawn while a red guy invaded so I was fighting both and then red guy rolled off building and died and I beat parasite thing. It was hilarious and pure :darksouls:

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Onion bro died :(

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
I like this game alot

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Wait how do you get more than two summon phantoms?

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Cathedral of the Deep itself was waaaay harder than its boss. Now that I beat those cocksuckers I'm just doing suicide runs for items.

Dark Souls: The game of sword and sorcery and the deaths don't matter.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Made it to a big door with scary clanging noises. Saw lots of summon signs and assumed it was a boss. Couldn't summon anyone. Couldn't put my summon sign down for practice. Decided to nut up and solo it with 35k souls on hand. Beat abyss watchers first try (with zero estus left and a sliver of health remaining). I guess you could say I... got gud. :yeah:

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Bought an xbox one controller because I wanted to go wireless. Been using the same 360 controller since 06 figured time for an upgrade. Brand new out of box the left stick had drift on it causing me to always run forward. Gonna exchange and try a different one but if this poo poo happens again just gonna stick with old faithful I guess.

I'm taking my sweet drat time with this game and the catacombs are by far the worst. I just get scared by all the spooky skeletons :saddowns:

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

If it's slight just adjust your deadzone.

If the second one has it then I'll figure out what the gently caress this means and how to do it but I got a gamestop on the way home and the controller in my car so I'm going to do that first.

It also wouldn't accept quick inputs. For example I like to run in super fast circles when I'm trying to get a host's attention and the controller just couldn't handle it.

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Xbox one controller update. Replaced it, got a cooler color (its like bronze or something) and it works flawlessly. Just got a defective one first time. Feels p good and now my desk is wire free minus easily hideable poo poo like keyboard and mouse cable (can't be wireless because I need zero latency for el1t3 g4m3zing).

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this
Beat the pontiff after an insane amount of tries. Every time I co-oped to help people we won, but when I summoned my phantoms were either incompetent or had the bug where they couldn't get through the fog. Ended up going with just one phantom and the slightly reduced HP pool helped. Also the fact I got real gud dodging his attacks.

The next area... invasions galore :negative:

I just wanna fight NPCs!

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

Go offline then

NO YOU GO OFFLINE THEN

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:



also drat this thread is dead as fuuuck

Considering one dies a lot in a souls game it's appropriate :rimshot:

Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Booblord Zagats posted:

In true Dark Souls fashion the main quest is about 10% of the lore, the other 90% is reading item descriptions and obscure and easy to gently caress up side quests with no clear goal or reward

Siegward died to the first encounter because I thought he was invincible and just stood in the distance watching him fight the thing. Then when it was down to a sliver of health I rolled off a ledge and died.

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Fart Sandwiches
Apr 4, 2006

i never asked for this

Booblord Zagats posted:

Also, doing some mild PvP I realized my sword was doing ehhh damage to some people and shredding others, didn't seem to be an issue with their armor or using spells, either. So I started looking it up and realized I was using the Hollowslayer sword, and when it makes contact with anyone that currently has a hollowing level at all, it will do an unmitigatable 50% extra damaged from the base damage, not the damaged dealt initially. Plus the special ability to knock away their shield and get a free riposte had me balls deep in a few people rocking the old "Full Havel"

I would love to have video or even just audio of their absolute disbelief at being shield broken in full havel. Holy poo poo I bet that was funny.

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