shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

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TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

This is my ishouldbeworking.mp3 for stdh.txt

hyperhazard posted:

I work right next to a stadium, so every so often the chit-chat will turn to sports. We're talking really simple water-cooler chatting that anyone could follow. There's always that one guy.

"Oh hey, is the team playing this weekend?"
"Yeah, they've been doing well so far."
"Oh that's cool."
"They're doing better than last year, at lea--"
"I just don't GET sports."

Every goddamn time.

Tunicate posted:

Owner Owning Up
Cafe | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

# ¿ Oct 9, 2016 10:16

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:46

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Jerry Cotton posted:

OK so that is either "YOUR PHONE NUMERER" or "YOUR PHONE NUMbRbR" or possibly "YOUR PHONE NUMbRd" or "YOUR PHONE NUMbRbl".

I see Pmone Numgrer

# ¿ Oct 29, 2016 16:42

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

dads_work_files posted:

A [soft drink] a day helps you work, rest and [activity]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE9zAummq7Q

e: MORE GLUCOSE. MORE SUGAR.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2016 12:39

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

This tweetstorm. All of it (you gotta click to read the entire thing):

https://twitter.com/sapphicgeek/status/805146210235518976

I love how Twitter was designed with the idea of sending out small thoughts and ideas by having a strict character limit, but people still write stories/rants/small essays post by post. They just can't contain the stdh.

I would be happy to see a social media platform that also limits how frequently you can post, so that if you shared one crazy thought today then that is your limit - go and think about something else for a while.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 03:19

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Khazar-khum posted:

God

'I need to erase my nickname from history, so I'll start by sharing the story of how I got it on the public internet'.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2016 10:31

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

moerketid posted:

YouTube stdh. Somehow even more awkward than its written counterpart.

"I saw a guy run a 100 mile marathon, break all the bones in his feet, get kidney damage, so I decided he could teach me things. I later cold called at his house and whisked him back to live with my family for a month"

Because these are things that happen in the real world

Edit: There's a transcript for people who don't want to suffer through the video

This STDH bothers me because the idea of a guy who can already do pullups being encouraged to do a few pullups every 30 seconds, until they make 100, is believable on its own. The whole idea of having to qualify it with 'I met a SEAL on a 100 mile marathon' part is just so unnecessary.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 02:33

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Aleph Null posted:

Me (at 10): Why? That's dumb.

I was a smart 10 year old, but I wasn't spouting epic takedowns of MRAs and I hadn't hit puberty so I really, really wouldn't care about what genitals someone has.

I'm 90% positive I've seen videos of little kids being asked what they think about various social justice issues and giving long winded answers, but full of stuttering 'and and and and i think that um its bad and and' kind of stuff, where its pretty clear they've been given an idea of what to say and then been filmed (ironically I can't find any examples now, so its probably its own variety of stdh which I'm remembering totally wrong).

# ¿ Jan 7, 2017 04:13

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

'Also, they touched the flower without asking. Everyone in this class is a rapist.'

# ¿ Feb 17, 2017 13:00

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

YA BOY ETHAN COUCH posted:

I told him to do his job and moderate the forum, and now I'm banned. Everyone in the thread is cheering it on. This is Trump's America.

I get the feeling it would have happened under any government, these guys have always been racist as gently caress.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2017 01:24

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

goose willis posted:

'Languishing out loud'

# ¿ Mar 11, 2017 03:56

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

# ¿ Mar 13, 2017 06:03

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Paladinus posted:

This is kind of believable

# ¿ Mar 17, 2017 10:31

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

# ¿ Apr 11, 2017 13:43

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

# ¿ Apr 13, 2017 01:45

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

You can just make something look like it came from Tumblr right? Like how there templates for other such memes?

It always really annoys me when you see the comments just descending down the page in that nesting style and you can almost tell people are just trying to outwit each other with some kind of funny comment or some sick burn so that a screenshot of their crowning achievement will last forever on facebook.

quote:

You won't believe what happened next!

quote:
Wow look at this awesome burn :o

Like and share!

quote:
| Hey did you see that thing?
| |
| |Oh that thing? You might say it's...pretty funny.
| |
| |
| | | OH MY GOD.
| | |
| | | | No way.
| | | |
| | | | | That's it, I AM DONE
| | | | |
|
|

And that's everything I see shared from tumblr onto facebook in a nutshell.

TheMostFrench has a new favorite as of 03:53 on Apr 14, 2017

# ¿ Apr 14, 2017 03:09

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Fathis Munk posted:

Aren't we all just humors?

Also gently caress those Tropers.

Much wow employee, you are doing me a humors.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2017 12:03

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

THIS IS NOT HOW TWITTER WORKS is imo the best reaction. Why do people try to tell long stories there STILL?

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 05:19

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

I like how a security guard and manager show up to deal with the guy before the conversation is over, and the manager had enough knowledge of the conversation to be able to say what he did.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2017 10:19

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

kazil posted:

Albort Ensten

Abort, Einstein!

# ¿ May 2, 2017 02:54

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Pththya-lyi posted:

More like oldhairless

Anyway, content:

Tunicate posted:

That when trump said "grab them by the pussy" he meant "FULL COMMUNISM NOW!"

I feel like what really happened is there was no pointing at the stomach, the poster just grabbed some vag, which makes the 50% restraining orders part realistic.

e: The poster is a super woke trump supporter but is actually taking the alt-right apart from the inside with his powerful social commentary!

TheMostFrench has a new favorite as of 03:39 on May 4, 2017

# ¿ May 4, 2017 03:34

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

The Snoo posted:

This is one of those stdh's where someone went home and muttered to themselves in the mirror about what they would've done/wanted to do, then wrote it like it actually happened.

# ¿ May 22, 2017 05:16

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

http://www.upworthy.com/i-told-a-kid-a-riddle-my-dad-told-me-when-i-was-7-his-answer-proves-how-far-weve-come?c=ufb3

This isn't totally stdh, but I laugh to think that the kid gave a dumb answer by mistake, which was then interpreted as being super progressive and a sign of how times are changing for the better.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2017 05:16

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

aardwolf posted:

For sale: baby shoes, never worn. #novel #bestwork

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 09:50

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

I like how the last one covers the guys name even though he uses it during the conversation.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2017 06:07

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

I think it adds to the thread and demonstrates how so many of these stories end up being accepted as true in the first place.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2017 05:41

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Verisimilidude posted:

Edit: I've legit seen someone bleed out in the street from a bicycle accident (they hit a pothole and slammed face first into the street), but I just went to a bar and got silently poo poo faced while ruminating the meaninglessness and fragility of my own mortality, like a normal human being.

I love how she takes a horrible tragedy and makes it about her feelings 'Look how sad this made me! I had to watch a guy die! That's enough adulting for today.'

# ¿ Jul 3, 2017 09:50

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

EmmyOk posted:

Are you talking about the image or the forum post? Hard to tell...

The image, the image :shobon:

# ¿ Jul 3, 2017 14:14

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

subpar anachronism posted:

I feel like this is some kind of advert for t-mobile.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2017 05:06

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Dammit I wanted to know what video card they got.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2017 12:26

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

My interpretation: The guy doing the spray painting is covering the signs because he disagrees with the sentiment of 'gently caress off nazis' (because he is one). The guy who wrote the STDH is probably using 'ape' to suggest that spray painter is uneducated or sub-human.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2017 05:29

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Was I the only one who would 100% something and then intentionally delete and start over? I think I only kept saves of games which gave you unique unlocks/NG+ style stuff.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2017 16:14

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Now that I have a niece I'm a little more understanding of children. Babies especially just cry out and yell for no reason, it might not even be that anything is wrong. I think if I ever have kids I'll be always carrying earplugs or something, though.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2017 08:18

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

life is killing me posted:

Mentos: The Bomb Maker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ng1Tx4h7ZI

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 10:26

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

For fucks sake, you're still standing at the card stand, your grandma doesn't even love you enough to pretend to get you a card. Don't sign your posts :smith:

# ¿ Aug 5, 2017 01:33

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

'Point proven' *did not try to make a point*.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 16:47

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Stuff I hope is stdh.txt

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2017/oct/10/tony-abbott-says-climate-change-is-probably-doing-good?CMP=soc_567

# ¿ Oct 10, 2017 04:40

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

Comptroll The Forums posted:

your move, libs

He was the Liberal leader :shepface:

# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 05:20

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

yeah I eat rear end posted:

If you go in to get a fertility check does the doctor rub you out while you're rubbing one out into the cup to keep the coverup in place?

Maybe something like this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrfSHRZf410

# ¿ Oct 11, 2017 09:43

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

"You can't just white out questions you don't want to answer."

"Oh good, that saves me some time. Next time I'll just skip it :downs:

# ¿ Oct 15, 2017 11:27

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 12:46

TheMostFrench: Jul 12, 2009; Stop for me, it's the claw!

That just popped up on my feed too, lots of people ready to take it at face value.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2017 13:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

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