shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›7 »

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

That joke is older than the entire Walton family

# ¿ Sep 4, 2017 15:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 09:13

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

I'm the awkward photo being taken of the saleslady

# ¿ Sep 17, 2017 21:09

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

MrUnderbridge posted:

And just like American politics, it's now down to "Huh-huh-huh, all I want to do is piss off libruls..."

the worst "all i want for christmas" remix

# ¿ Sep 18, 2017 23:37

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

that is an adult writing on behalf of a child

the child is not actually an anti-vaxxer, but is just a normal kid who is terrified of shots, you know, because they pinch, and not because they give you autism

# ¿ Sep 23, 2017 01:11

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Haifisch posted:

*Mysteriously never quizzes men on this stuff*

that's due to a mix of negging and being terrified of other, likely more sexually successful, men

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 23:01

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Trash Boat posted:

This is utterly unbelievable. What kind of an office building has 100 workers coming in on a Sunday?

Er, uh, sorry, that was a typo. Suppsoed to say "orifice building"

jjack229 posted:

I know it's minor, but when he walked in the door, they saw him and immediately turned off all the lights. I'm curious on the office layout that lets him see into the closets and bathrooms from the office door.

Edit: Or even see 100 people from the door. I've been in several cubicle-farm type offices, and I don't think I've seen a main open area where you could fit more than 20 people in one person's field of view.
I think he needs to rewrite his story to take place in a manufacturing plant and he walked in on the mezzanine or catwalk looking down on to the factory floor. Or a football stadium.

I like the part where one guy walks over to the light switch and then waits an arbitrary amount of time or somehow has a signal with everyone to know when to put the lights back on

Though thanks this story for making me remember the Doug episode, when someone steale's Bebe's radio and they turn off the lights to allow the person to return it without getting in trouble. BUT THEN THEY TORN THE LIGHTS ON TOO EARLY and I forget who the revealed radio stealer is

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 02:04

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

TheMostFrench posted:

I like to think this did happen and the mother responded by showing zero self awareness about using electronics.

'My child is so woke, they aren't interested in social media and can think for themselves.' *posts it to social media*

lmao

# ¿ Nov 5, 2017 16:20

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

I like the implication of the teacher not noticing a bunch of students getting back-alley mammograms in the classroom

# ¿ Nov 5, 2017 19:06

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

verbal enema posted:

Where is the title of the thread's story at

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3772327&pagenumber=202&perpage=40#post476000081

# ¿ Nov 13, 2017 13:20

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

kimbo305 posted:

Haha, he sure got that evil manipulative bitch!

I bet she's had sex. I bet she's even had sex with more than one guy that wasn't the writer.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2017 22:08

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Bertrand Hustle posted:

And his wife took a screenshot of it? Why are people so unbelievably bad at fake text screenshots?

The wife screenshotting it makes sense, I just want someone to try it out to see what actually happens. Any trombonists itt

# ¿ Nov 22, 2017 20:51

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

What's the stdh? That could easily be a slide in like a freshman level gender studies type course

# ¿ Nov 29, 2017 21:52

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

RagnarokAngel posted:

Yeah it's actually banal enough I buy it.

Mein Klass

# ¿ Nov 30, 2017 01:23

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

i like the last part, like it was still too within the realm of possibility so the writer just made a free throw with the "he offered to pay my rent" line

# ¿ Dec 3, 2017 23:06

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Ravenfood posted:

Cool. Its not like delayed cord clamping has significant benefits for the baby or anything (and also doesn't have anything to do with the actual time of delivery), I'm sure that obstetrician was an idiot with zero training or experience delivering babies. But you do you, savage daughter person.

no the daughter is the one that wanted the delayed cord clamping, the ob is a dude in this story sample

# ¿ Dec 5, 2017 21:52

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

GreenMetalSun posted:

Yeah, no.

that was a whirlwind

# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 23:12

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Len posted:

I assumed it was supposed to be a college kid because they're all awful people and probably didn't have tape.

Source: I once secured a power strip to a wall using paper and Staples because proper tools were not available.

She pulled it off her own skin to adhere the note

# ¿ Dec 20, 2017 00:11

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

kazil posted:

There really isn't a need to come into this thread to post about how the stdh could have actually happened.

I think sometimes it's ok because I've learned some cool things when people point out an inconsistnecy or something but sometimes things are just obviously fake and silley

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 01:46

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

dovetaile posted:

Disposable diapers were first introduced for mass consumption in 1948.

Pft, yeah, by the people who raised the people who raised those know it all malenyals

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 02:10

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Elizabethan Error posted:

phage(the root word) is pronounced PHAY-juh, so it's understandable why that's being mispronounced with a soft f.
Phagocytosis is pronounced with a hard f however(as in flag)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4x82z0QKlRA

Do you mean soft/hard g?

# ¿ Jan 25, 2018 23:42

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

claims to have grown up in saudi arabia yet whines like the worst spoiled american

# ¿ Feb 3, 2018 18:57

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

lukewarm turkey method

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 23:47

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Wasn't her username silver something or something silver

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 00:12

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

GreenMetalSun posted:

without corrective lenses i can't recognize people i grew up with in a photograph right in front of my loving face but i just like to go places without my glasses to up the suspense for the obvious twists in my stories

# ¿ Feb 23, 2018 22:16

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Seventh Arrow posted:

You'll have to add your own bad spelling, grammar, and ellipses as well.

Or try out the Religious Bilge template for auto-format RIGHTEOUS ALL-CAPS OF PRAISE at the end of your screed. WORDS OF WISDOM AMEN

# ¿ Mar 6, 2018 19:49

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

yes that story would bore a panda

# ¿ Mar 7, 2018 19:21

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

I hope that's the guys actual username.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 02:53

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

saggin on the juice aisle....
drummin on a street light

# ¿ Mar 9, 2018 23:39

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

I think this is the one scenario where the appendaged comment actually redeems the stdh

# ¿ Mar 21, 2018 18:59

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Splicer posted:

Shakespeare but every time they say a word Shakespeare coined it gets 5% faster.

...I'd... I'd want to see this one

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 12:36

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Slime posted:

That's how it is for most kids. They know it's bullshit, but a buck is a buck and they don't care if they have to act like fairies are real to get some cash.

Plus it's fun to just do kid stuff. When I was 7 I "found out about Santa" and I thought I was so loving smart and so much better than all those other dumb kids who still believed such a ridiculous concept. But then guess who burst into tears when we rehearsed for the Christmas concert and sang about Santa coming and I realized everyone else was still able to have fun and be a kid

# ¿ Apr 26, 2018 12:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 22, 2024 09:13

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

What the earthshitting christ

# ¿ Apr 27, 2018 23:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

«‹›7 »