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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:Takeout, breakfast cereal, frozen pizza, ramen, anything with instructions reading "remove film before microwaving" I, too, judge people on their culinary skills.
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Apr 21, 2016 21:31
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Kay Kessler posted:Who was that infamous fat-activist that claimed that they could run a mile in a ridiculously short time (a minute, mayber?) ? Are you talking about Reagan Chastain? aka Dances with Fat? She's the one that's won "national dance titles" and is in "training" to do a full Triathalon despite being well past morbidly obese. I honestly can't tell if she's deluded or just cynically milking her supporters of PayPal donations and speaking fees at HAES gatherings. Incidentally, I beleive most of her pre-Tri competitions were not even DNF, her listings reflect she never started the races (aka no show) I mean, good on you if you're trying to be healthy (although I wouldn't recommend activity so demanding cardio-wise until your BMI is in line with it), but she's part of that vile HAES movement, and regularly dismisses the advice of her doctors since their advice always starts with "lose weight".
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Apr 24, 2016 20:52
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Tracula posted:“I stole some ketamine from the vet and injected it. I think there’s something wrong. Can I sue him?” The comments are incredible. I know it's probably a troll, but he plays it pitch-perfect. "I didn't steal it. I just took it when no one was looking."
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Apr 27, 2016 22:55
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And the very next year, her family moves away as she tearfully declares she'll never stop loving him. Ten years later he's a high powered lawyer, and she's running a center for underprivileged children in the same city. They wonder about the other when reminiscing, but never realize they work only blocks away from each other. That is, until the owner of the building the Center for Kids Who Don't Have a Chance decides it's time to raze it to the ground. He sends Super Smart Lawyer Man to serve notice on Granola Girl and they realize who each other are. Has their love survived all these years? No. Because Super Smart Lawyer Man knows that children know poo poo about everlasting love and has become cynical and bitter. The building is destroyed, Granola Girl moves to SF, and the underprivileged children grow up to perpetuate the cycle of poverty and ignorance. Proteus Jones has a new favorite as of 02:50 on May 17, 2016 |
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May 17, 2016 02:47
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BrigadierSensible posted:I'm more about the fact that the supposedly adult writer of that story desperately wants two 13 year olds to gently caress. And when it isn't happening on his/her schedule, yells at them in order to facillitate it. Wow. That's a way creepier take than I had. And based on most of the STDH I've seen, probably more accurate. It just reminded me of the first 5 minutes of every lovely RomCom of the late '80s/early '90s.
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May 17, 2016 03:11
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I don't see how people can't see that he's funny. That was downright hilarious.
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May 19, 2016 02:50
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:I'm trying to come up with something witty or at least mildly entertaining but the best I can do is 'uugghhh.' That's all the wit it deserves.
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May 20, 2016 01:40
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:Yeah let's not open that can of worms please. As long as the previous owner disclosed it, the buyer is responsible for getting someone to take care of the infestation.
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May 29, 2016 23:17
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Yeah, Ryan Reynolds was pretty funny in it.
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Jul 5, 2016 19:31
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I know they're just nerd fantasy. But every single time, they manage to piss me off. Every. Single. Time.
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Jul 16, 2016 22:00
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Ghostbusters II was understood as a cash grab because of Hudson's money issues when it came out. It was pretty much considered a sad, tired effort especially when considered against the original.
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Jul 17, 2016 20:39
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Jerry Cotton posted:I saw a girl I wanted to gently caress ao I gave her a love stare. And since they all go for bad boys, make sure it's that real good intimidating stare. But make it smoldering.
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Aug 26, 2016 18:53
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Desk Lamp posted:Around here zombie is used to refer to junkies of any race, since they're the closest thing to a real life zombie. Same. Zombie=black seems like a stretch to me.
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Aug 27, 2016 21:47
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Eponine posted:The same thing happens with garage door openers, at least the ones that have the remote that clips to your car's visor, except a much lower variable, like 1 in 20 instead of 1 in 300 being the same since garages don't move. This is an issue; however, if you are a contractor building a subdivision and you get a deal on a lot of 50 for all of your houses on a block, you should probably test them to make sure the matching ones aren't neighbors. Not so much the case anymore since openers haven't used dip-switch coding in a long time. Granted there's still weaknesses in the current solution, but a random remote triggering your garage door opener isn't one of them anymore.
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Sep 10, 2016 15:16
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:Can you ever be just "whelmed"? Since the verb form of whelm means "engulf or submerge"... yes?
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Sep 12, 2016 18:12
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Tunicate posted:I tried to pick and choose from these but they're all so incredible. These have put me very close to a rage state.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:48
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Jerry Cotton posted:What about inundated instead of undated? How about irregardless.
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Sep 12, 2016 21:49
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WrenP-Complete posted:I can do it tomorrow during work hours. I made so many Markov bots I thought goons were sick of them but I love my nonsensical bots so much. Didn't you do one for HP:MOR? If it was you, that was wonderful. Keep doing these. (if you can stomach it, the John Ringo thread might be amusing)
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Sep 15, 2016 01:40
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WrenP-Complete posted:oh, it would help me with scripting our bot if we had some archive of lots of poo poo that didn't happen stories. like i know i can use NAR or whatever but that's going to make the bot sound like that. maybe the op? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3772327&userid=142665 That should have plenty of raw data for your needs. I'm not sure how well that will work for scraping if you're automating input. Maybe grab a bunch of reddit TIFU posts?
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Sep 15, 2016 14:59
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The only thing that did happen, was the racism of the author.
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Sep 15, 2016 17:34
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Ron Roenicke posted:Back today with a incredibly important update re: cardboard and rain Ah, the good old "some of my friends are black" rears its head. And loving cardboard. That's the nail in the STDH coffin for me. Like it's really hard to get some enamel spray paint in a close enough hue to cover that poo poo? At least until he has the time/money to get the panels re-painted. If I saw a contractor van with patches of gray or off-white paint on it, I'd assume "ah, must have been some vandalism" at the worst. And that's if I'd even think anything of it at all.
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Sep 17, 2016 21:15
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Furia posted:Ok but why would you deploy a loving helicopter out of loving nowhere? If you live in LA and tell ICS that there's a sweatshop filled with illegal immigrants, sure.
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Oct 15, 2016 12:24
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life is killing me posted:It came from a STDH about some kid who was going to get his rear end beat, the troper quoted the guy and some goon posted that he first read it as "I SHOULD EAT YOUR rear end RIGHT NOW" instead of "I SHOULD bEAT YOUR rear end RIGHT NOW" life is killing me posted:We laughed, we cried, someone somewhere killed themselves, the world kept spinning
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Nov 8, 2016 16:29
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Paladinus posted:I am hesitant to share since it is so personal. However, I am appalled by a situation I experienced tonight and just have to talk about it. Leave a bad Yelp review.
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Nov 14, 2016 00:26
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Horror_Business posted:THAT TIME I ALMOST STABBED A COUPLE REDNECKS WHO SAW MY HEADWRAP AND ASSUMED I WAS MUSLIM  WHY DID I READ THE COMMENTS! OH GOD THE HORROR!
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Dec 3, 2016 21:31
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Whitlam posted:A few years ago a friend and I found a phone at a bus stop. We thought there was a decent chance it could belong to someone we knew since it was outside our high school, and it didn't have a passcode, so we opened it up and went into photos to see if we could recognise anyone. We couldn't, but there were many, many photos of drug making equipment and drugs, and a few selfies (lesson one of a burner phone: do not use it for selfies). We went into messages (because by that point we were straight up just snooping) and a heap of the conversations were deals, with quantities, times, and pickups listed. We dropped the phone to the police and showed them what was on it, who found it hysterical. That's pretty funny.
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Dec 7, 2016 17:28
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Tired Moritz posted:I dom't understand the klingon one. Is it a burn calling him a nerd? I thought tvtropes love nerds No it's saying that if you think knowing Klingon (or any other idiot "language" like Tolkien Elvish or Esperanto) means you're bilingual, you're a moron.
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Dec 13, 2016 16:19
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oldpainless posted:Trick question. There was no kid nor was there a dad. In fact there wasn't even a note. 
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Dec 14, 2016 00:55
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Spalec posted:Do we have a thread for "Should be STDH but actually did happen?" I love that he took her profile picture (which included her, her husband and her dog) and photoshopped himself in and then put Santa hats on everyone.
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Dec 19, 2016 00:30
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chitoryu12 posted:I've never gotten a wrong text, just lots of wrong calls. Does anyone just type numbers into their phone to text anymore? I've gotten a couple. But they were all "huh. This is the number she gave me last night at the bar..." Apparently, some woman is handing out my number as pest deterrent to guys who won't take a hint.
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Dec 23, 2016 03:39
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Kontradaz posted:He desperately needs a Xanax is what I got from that block of text with 5 mentions of anxiety and breathing excercises. Well he's hysterical because gay, obv.
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Dec 23, 2016 23:01
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My favorite line is "200 for you is like 800 for real people"
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Jan 1, 2017 17:50
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sweeperbravo posted:My favorite was a troper years ago on the TT forums asking about the plausibility of karate chopping a person's head off. People coming to the thread were telling him no, that's really not a thing that can happen. But he just kept begging. "What if the guy was MILITARY TRAINED" "what if he went REALLY FAST" He was so desperate, he really wanted to write a story where the protagonist karate chopped a guy's head off, using one of his regular old human hands, but it needed to be REALISTIC AND PLAUSIBLE ISN'T THERE SOME WAY. CAN'T YOU FATHOM SOME INSTANCE, SOME CONDITION, SLLLLICE THE HEAD OFF WITH HIS KARATE TRAINED HAND???? I bet Black Dynamite could do it with his Kung Fu. 
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Jan 2, 2017 19:22
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chitoryu12 posted:Some burglars in Spain got hacked up by their victim when he grabbed a sword recently. No missing limbs, but the results were almost absurdly bloody. Holy poo poo, they got wrecked. Even better (for the story), the dude who sliced and diced them was in his 60s or 70s.
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Jan 2, 2017 19:50
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due to pictures of the wounds.
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InediblePenguin posted:hey look kmart has a list of all their currently operating stores Yeah, they're actually doing better than their sister store: Sears. But the entire Sear Holding Corp is slowly being driven out of business. Eddie Lampert is tries to run Sears and KMart as the prophetess Rand would want. As you can expect, it's not turning out well. Zero money is churned back to the stores or infrastructure. Instead they buy back stock and try to be a poor copy of Amazon online.
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Jan 4, 2017 03:23
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Hardcordion posted:Something like this happened to me once actually. I don't quite remember if it was due to delays or whatever but my dad and I ended up being two of only about seven or eight passengers on-board for a flight that would normally hold at least 120. I don't know how believable the Metalica and the pilot's comments are but the crew definitely seemed more relaxed than usual and the attendants told us jokes and stories about working in the airline industry over the PA. It was pretty rad honestly. I had it happen, but it was definitely pre-9/11 on a non-stop from SF to Chicago on an early AM flight on a Thursday. You used to get these kind of flights every now and then for planes returning back to their home airport. I imagine they're really rare these days since airlines almost always overbook, not to mention fuel prices don't make it economical.
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Jan 10, 2017 05:04
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drat you! I was going to post the same video. 
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Jan 18, 2017 15:30
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The gently caress is a "Libby"?
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Jan 21, 2017 04:14
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LanceHunter posted:We, as a culture, really gotta start reigning in use of the term PTSD. Agreed. See someone die in front of you? Probably PTSD Someone forgot to call you by your preferred pronoun? Not PTSD
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Jan 21, 2017 18:33
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Dejawesp posted:Time for a swing at those pesky transsexuals I see. What lead up to this? I was referring to the Tumblr posters who say they're "literally shaking" because their dragon-kin status isn't recognized by everyone. Which obviously causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But you read it however you want.
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Jan 21, 2017 19:25
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