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ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

oldpainless posted:

"Let's go through all these studies showing no correlation between weight and health"

(Flips through book that is very obviously nothing but blank pages while making quizzical noises and staring wide eyed at patient and also shrugs confusedly like how Jon Stewart did all the time back on the daily show)

More like oldpeerless.

Did I do it right?

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ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

It would be a terrible gift, but it's good fun to have in a workplace. When I was in my teens we used to label all sorts of unnecessary stuff

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

I got to the end and expected it to say "FURY is directed by tarantino".

Also, I have a co-worker who unironically uses snowflake to describe people.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Gwaint posted:

I once worked for Domino's as a delivery driver, am I unknowingly a demon? :ohdear:

Gwaint, you are the demons. :doom:

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

88 is also a super lucky number in china.

Or maybe the guy was born 4th of january/ 1st of april 1988. He'll never catch a break :(

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Aleph Null posted:

Hah hah what a great joke on some random new mother. Certainly worth being on the hook to support a kid that isn't yours for 18 years.

Hey man, if you know it ain't yours then just get a dna test afterward. You still got to name the kid.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Non Serviam posted:

Probably because Lil Jon is poo poo.

Though true, that song is amazing.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Catberry posted:

See you're the blood sucker. They take your blood and give it to others but when you need it they'll be all out.

I have 0+ fygm blood. They always have mine in stock and I can take yours too.

A friend of mine has 0- and they always hassle him to give blood but he refuses because donating blood makes him fatigued for over a week afterwards.

I thought AB+ was the universal receptor. O- universal donor.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

EmmyOk posted:


Yeah that's right! So it means O- is the best for donations but the worst to have because you have less total blood that can be donated to you.

Cool, I was confused because other poster referred to O+ as fygm blood, when it's still pretty good to donate. Although I guess only + people can take it?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Ask your uncle, he probably had to qualify once, and I think you get to keep going after.

Mostly if you meet a minimum time you get to come back

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

I tend to tune out when people call him drumpf. Just use his real drat name.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Apparently the airbnb rating system is messed up too, and getting anything less than five stars gets airbnb to start harassing you.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Paladinus posted:

You can get all this food from a rubbish bin for free.

You need to make friends with 1500quidporsche

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

tyblazitar posted:

How could you do such a long post on WILTY without linking the best moment of the entire show?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkpyd2lr4dI

I was about to chew out bioenchanted for not posting this one. It put me in tears the first time I saw it.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Verisimilidude posted:

changing my wifi to ALL CUPS ARE BUTTHOLES post-haste

All buttholes are cups

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

EKDS5k posted:

You mean the normal way? MM/DD/YYYY is an American thing. Also "pupil" is generally a British term, so it's likely that this detention didn't happen in Europe.

:jerkbag: it's the normal way in the us and canada.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What is an anti and how is it different to an antifa?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Pththya-lyi posted:

Rey wears three buns

Shippers loooove them some portmanteau couple names. My favorites are Harmony (Harry Potter/Hermione Granger) SanSan (Sandor Clegane/Sansa Stark) and Pepperony (Tony Stark/Pepper Potts).

Didn't sandor kidnap sansa to use as leverage if he was captured, or have I remembered the books wrong?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

GreenMetalSun posted:

An ‘anti’, in this context, is someone who thinks abuse/rape/pedophila/incest/beastiality/toxic relationships are wrong, and that they should be handled or written about with tact and an eye towards respect for the victims, rather than being written as tittilating, making implications that the victim wanted it, or as though the author approves of them.

‘Antis’ are naturally terrible people who want everyone in fandom to commit suicide and of course also they’re ableist/racist/transphobic for some reason?

When someone is claiming ‘the eeeeeeebil antis’ are out to get them, it means someone told them to knock off watching kiddie porn, basically.

So antis are good? The internet has passed me by.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Seventh Arrow posted:

Oh no, he pinged their IP addresses? Look out, here comes Mr l33t Hacker Man!

also


How do you derail your own make-believe story so easily? :psyduck:

It's probably no dress shirt, t-shirt instead

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Besesoth posted:

Schools really went to poo poo after "Mulan" came out.

That drat szechuan sauce

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Paladinus posted:

What if America allowed insane mass shooters to mass shoot wild dogs? Also, allowed terrorists to blow up mass shooters. And dogs to attack terrorists.

I don't think it'll replace rock paper scissors but give it a go.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Terminal De-escalation sounds like you ended up on the arrivals level and have to go downstairs to the departure level to check in.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Zipperelli. posted:

I can't even get her to agree to a threesome, much less a romantic relationship with another person.

Even with you? :ohdear:

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016


I thought these got banned. A "toxic synergy" being created is one hell of a sales pitch.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Samizdata posted:

Happened to be on Imgur for something else today and saw this...



This should be posted in response to most stdh

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Has there ever been a good ww1 movie? One that gets into how lovely and terrible it was outside of like paths of glory?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

All Quiet on the western front?

Cool, will give it a go.

THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:

Saving Private Ryan's Dad

Will look it up, cheers.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:

Hey gently caress you buddy my mom was a slur

So you want us to use your mom?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

ReidRansom posted:

I know the feeling. I'm on loan to a project in Germany at the moment and spend most of my days just sitting here in an office watching Netflix. Two weeks of this so far. I probably won't have any actual work to do for another week or two, and it's excruciating. I'm paid well and get 180% during these things plus a per diem and get to expense pretty much everything, so I'm cleaning up, but I'd rather be at home making less but having more to do and getting to sleep in my own bed with my fiancee who I miss.

Some guys came to where I worked, crossing an ocean to get here. They said every week they were told they would start the following week. I saw them over the course of 2 or 3 months, and they were pissed off and just wanted to go home.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

chitoryu12 posted:

This one I can definitely see myself doing.

It actually kind of sounds like fun.
I'm a boring person.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Gorilla Salad posted:

Because there's a good chance whoever made up that story has no idea that "white knight" predates the cartoon for preschoolers he's obsessed with.

maybe he's a big bonnie tyler fan

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of mlp?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

sunken fleet posted:

Can you even imagine trying to read aloud in a crowded bus? Must be a masterful orator to make yourself heard over all the other random people on the bus - especially the ones telling you to shut the gently caress up after you get like two sentences in. Or is this the bizzaro world where random people on the street enjoy listening to some nerd stutter and mumble through literature unprompted?

I'm more curious as to what book it was

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Problem with stdh in a theatre is it's always hard to believe. I've got two examples, but who believe me that they happened??

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Went to see neighbours on an afternoon cheap day screening so it was about 20 seniors plus me and my friend. Got a ways into he movie and during one scene a guy loudly said "man, this movie SUCKS." Which got a decent rise from the rest of us. Later someone else asked if it would ever end and they started ripping on it

Cheap movie theatre seniors are a good time.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Bertrand Hustle posted:

My mom took me to see it, but I'm 30.

Christ, I'm loving 30.

Reconciled after the eviction notice then?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Bertrand Hustle posted:

I don't get it :saddowns:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3857773

https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Jurgan posted:

I couldn't resist:

Source your quotes.

Let me guess, everyone loved you and you climbed on to a starship and flew into outer space?

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Jurgan posted:

It was a response to the same Quora post.

(I know)

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ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What is going on in that gas one? I don't get what they're trying to say

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