shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

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ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

Kind of both. Two dollar bills are sort of a novelty currency, they're legal tender but you need to go out of your way to get them.

When you get one, you're supposed to keep it and give it to your dad, who keeps them in a folder like they are Pikachu money

# ¿ Apr 21, 2016 12:35

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:14

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I think my favorite internet things ever are the long winded rants about what a bad rear end the writer is, they're the best

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 12:41

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Panfilo posted:

Someone started sharing "The adult side of Tumblr" on my Facebook feed and it is ripe with STDH ( and clickbait).

I don't want to be all 'kids these days' but I can't help but wonder if a generation that grew up on participation trophies is especially prone to milking praise on Tumblr over the most mundane thing. They'll share a story of how they stood up for themselves or something and everybody is tripping over themselves on how awesome they are. Like they would have the guts to remind the MacDonald's employee they didn't want pickles in their Big Mac

These people have always existed, they just have a massive global outlet for their circle jerk

# ¿ Apr 26, 2016 14:11

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Khazar-khum posted:

Virgin

http://imgur.com/a/as1H7

But how can she slap?

# ¿ Apr 27, 2016 14:27

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

EmmyOk posted:

Somebody masturbated furiously while writing this out.

# ¿ May 11, 2016 20:13

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

It grates me so much when people say/write "This."

# ¿ May 17, 2016 16:16

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Baron Corbyn posted:

This one didn't happen so hard, it gave me a permanent sneer.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2016 12:09

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

-Hands you a mandible

# ¿ Jun 24, 2016 14:47

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

That whole community has a lot of conflicting interests. I remember there was some drama about not letting gay men do drag shows at some parade because it offended some transsexuals? Seems hosed up, since gay dudes were the ones who got the poo poo kicked out of them during the Stonewall Riots and other demonstrations, which more or less led to the gay rights movement.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 14:46

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

My bad, didn't know that was a thing. Uh, I guess some people got upset, or, as often happens, someone got upset on their behalf:

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/07/20/pride-event-bans-drag-queens-in-case-they-are-offensive/

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 16:43

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Ok, I don't think I know enough about it to comment, but I guess my point is it looks like that's a very large umbrella group, so I believe the Picard stdh

# ¿ Jul 5, 2016 16:49

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

The ending LOL really makes it

# ¿ Jul 6, 2016 03:23

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Khazar-khum posted:

"Shhh, mom it's the long con."

# ¿ Jul 9, 2016 15:33

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Tunicate posted:

"And them we started suckin' each others dicks, because who the gently caress else goes walking around a park at night around 3 AM except the extraordinarily horny"

# ¿ Jul 10, 2016 00:52

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I have a harder time reading these than I do reading about terrible diseases

# ¿ Jul 26, 2016 12:35

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Paladinus posted:

Cheers.

Oh, but there's more.
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/wow-i-cannot-believe-my-mom-stooped-so-low.136316639/

I read way too much of this before I said gently caress it

# ¿ Jul 27, 2016 19:18

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

What happens to make a person that much of a shitgarbageperson

# ¿ Jul 28, 2016 10:55

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

FuckenPunchOn posted:

People on facebook believe that this happened.

Humans of New York: Profiting from homeless mental ilness since 2004

# ¿ Aug 8, 2016 15:18

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Khazar-khum posted:

Delirium

Alright, a bit of background. This troper is known among her friends for her quirky, eccentric, and sometimes child-like personality, and also her tendency to ramble without making much sense. This has often had her compared to Delirium of the Endless, especially since her favorite book series is The Sandman, and is even occasionally called by the nickname "Del".

Can you imagine how insufferable such a person would be?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 02:30

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

hyperhazard posted:

e: Forgot the other one

Is this similar to that goon who got on all fours and "Meow!"ed his way out of an awkward situation?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2016 15:28

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Natural peanut butter (no ingredients other than peanut butter and maybe salt) should be kept in the fridge to prevent the oil from separating out. Peanut butter that doesn't separate at room temperature achieves this feat by the addition of hydrogenated fats that are solid at room temperature.

What kind of monster are you

Just mix it back together with a butter knife, do you have nor respect for toast?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2016 15:31

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

gently caress that guy

# ¿ Aug 13, 2016 01:36

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Listen, I like playing dress up as much as anyone, but these people are loving retarded. I wish we could kick them off the planet.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2016 20:18

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

hyperhazard posted:

You weren't kidding.

They both look like they are suffering from 19th century disease

That lady's nose looks like W.C. Fields, she should lay off the sauce.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2016 22:50

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Someone Awful! posted:

why do the couples in these fake letters never actually use each others' names? it's always "husband" or "sweetie" or "babe"

I know when I write a note for my wife of 12 years, I always start it with, "Sweetest Beloved Wife" and not "Yo, Jessica" because she is imaginary

# ¿ Aug 18, 2016 22:09

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Decrepus posted:

What the gently caress is this

# ¿ Aug 21, 2016 17:18

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I liked the dude better when he was a massive Trump troll, so this post had the opposite desired effect

# ¿ Oct 14, 2016 18:03

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

kimbo305 posted:

The quality of instruction with Krav Maga is extremely varied. You can get a certificate to teach KM in 3 days. Some schools can be very legit, have meaningful training, and have correct instruction about approaching self-defense. Other schools will just blow smoke up your rear end about how much of a badass you're becoming while teaching nothing of value. Krav Maga is certainly not alone in this kind of overhyping.

Krav Maga is the crossfit of martial arts. You might be doing good work, or you might be doing lovely work, but you are doubtlessly going to tell everyone and their brother about it.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 12:46

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I like my boxing class, because nobody has ever said, "This is what you would do in a bar room situation" because we train specifically for amateur fights under the supervision of licensed officials. I'm not going to go get choked out by some gorilla hands grappler to prove some idiotic point.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 15:55

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I read a book on self defense by this ex-army guy that was basically, "Make up your mind that you are going to be stabbed to poo poo, and then if you are threatening enough, maybe the other guy will not want to get stabbed to poo poo. Protip: Slash their forehead so they get blood in their eyes, and then run like a bitch."

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 21:49

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

LOL if you aren't throwing CHI-BLASTS right at the heart of your enemy with bad rear end Tai Chi skills you learned from an old Chinese lady at the park

# ¿ Oct 17, 2016 23:19

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I'm not sure being a 19 year old trust fund "entrepreneur" is anything to show off

This sounds like stdh/humblebrag

# ¿ Nov 22, 2016 23:22

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

I hope the spoiler is: it wasn't her bike

# ¿ Nov 23, 2016 03:06

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

loving LOL

I can also write with my non-dominant hand

# ¿ Mar 7, 2017 18:24

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Captain Monkey posted:

Hot from the presses.

LOL, thing is, even if this happened, you still got called a fat gently caress

# ¿ Mar 22, 2017 19:35

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

goose willis posted:

Way to go?

# ¿ Mar 27, 2017 18:03

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

Danaru posted:

Counterpoint

Bad weed smells like straight up skunk rear end, so maybe smoke that poo poo on your balcony

# ¿ Mar 28, 2017 17:44

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

sweeperbravo posted:

The size equivalent to "black people have hobbies and play video games" stories

That reminds me of an "A black dude talked to me on the train about Goku and I was like whoa" thing

These motherfuckers don't know black people loving LOVE Dragonball

# ¿ Apr 29, 2017 20:15

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

tight aspirations posted:

"My family has a unique mutation, all the men have monster dongs that all the ladies can't resist"

# ¿ May 4, 2017 20:44

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:14

ElGroucho: Nov 1, 2005; We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane; Fun Shoe

JGdmn posted:

"I went on a date with a person three weeks ago, and after incessantly calling them they told me they had cancer.

Just my luck."

If you imagine Steven Wright on the delivery, it works

# ¿ May 23, 2017 21:14

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: I'm finding it very hard to immerse myself in the lie.

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