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edit: thursday May 31, 2016. abandoned this thread because I got discouraged and couldn't adequately reconstruct the all the conversations I had had after the fact. in case anyone wonders what happened past the lame cliffhanger: the event was supposed to end at 5, but procedural issues kept it droning on and on and on, seemingly without end. The choas really began when the rumor started going around that the organizer of the caucus, who had been largely responsible for the delays, was a hillary supporter, and that all the absent delegates for bernie would be discarded if we didn't finish on time. it was a very minor and local version of what went down in nevada, essentially. I wandered through this mess in a weed soaked haze, and if I'd had reception I'd of laid the whole glorious thing out for all of you. I might give a shot at finishing it sometime, maybe after completing my trump tale. I'm not really sure I'm up to doing this  "We’re excited that you have stepped up and become a local leader for your Presidential candidate and for the Democratic Party"? poo poo. The only reason I went to the first caucus was that it got me out of the house. I don't care which of these people become president. I'm not a political person. I just signed up to be an alternate delegate to the district caucus because a cute girl was watching. She was wearing a Bernie t-shirt and a big smile, and I wanted to show her I could be involved in the process of changing history. also I thought that alternates wouldn't have to go But now I have a man named Jaxon Ravens calling me a "grassroots leader" and he wants me "to stand up to Donald Trump and the Republicans in the fall." Buddy, I've dropped out of college three times. I can't reasonably be expected to be drafted into the war against the darkness. I'm not feeling qualified for this, and now I have to stop typing on my phone in the parking lot and go into the building. Trumps Baby Hands has issued a correction as of 06:33 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Apr 17, 2016 19:05
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Be sure and post your character sheet Name: trumps baby hands, alternate precinct delegate to the WA State Legoslative District Caucuses Excitement about the WA State Democratic Party: very little Distrust of government: mostly in check, but sometimes I wonder, you know College student: yup Caucused for Bernie: yes indeed Because you care about Bernie?: no Because you wanted to look cool: yes
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Apr 17, 2016 19:13
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do it and you'll get laid i garentee
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Apr 17, 2016 19:15
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stoutfish posted:do it and you'll get laid i garentee  I probably shouldn't wear this inside, right? I'll keep it with me for sure though, in case there's an emergency
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Apr 17, 2016 19:18
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earlier I'd received some conflicting information, but I saw through the ruse
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Apr 17, 2016 19:22
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 the democratic process marches on.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:31
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girl wearing a Bernie shirt approaches with a smile, talking to everyone who passes? "Are you from _______ County or __________ county?" She's here to to help. I can't wait for my turn. She cradles a clipboard and marks off people's names, and then points them to the correct que. I don't even wait for her to ask. "_________," I blurt. "Cool, do you know your district number?" I looked at the name on her list and saw my own next to my district number. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't stop. "District ___, there I am, Trumps Baby Hands." She says, "Cool." She slides her pencil over to the next column, where my email and phone number rests. I think about the Bernie Rally a few months ago, which was also prowled by attractive young people armed with clipboards. "Is this contact info still accurate," she says. I nod, defeated, and she points towards the line on the right. "That's your line. The shorter one." "Nice, that's what I was hoping to hear", I say, and slink away, cursing my weaknesses.
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Apr 17, 2016 19:43
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Apr 17, 2016 19:47
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god speed
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Apr 17, 2016 20:41
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Trumps Baby Hands posted:Excitement about the WA State Democratic Party: very little As a Washington resident, this is 100% accurate. Our voting choices are frequently between pro-business Democrat and hippie that rants about fluoride in the drinking water. And that is in the general election, due to the top-two system we have.
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Apr 17, 2016 20:56
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A frat boy in a Bernie shirt wanders over to me. He looms above me and hands me a small slip of paper with Bernie's campaign logo on it. I take it for half-a-second, and then hand it back. I say, "No, it's all good, I'm already on board." The Bernie bro gives me a hurt, piercing look. "It's not about that," he says. His face becomes hard and resolute, like he's getting ready to ship out to the front. He says, "it's about joining the local movement." "I don't want to join the local movement, thanks," I say. I blurt. He flinches back, and I immediately feel horrible and try to soften it, "You guys got it covered." He shrugs, walks away. Why am I like this. Why couldn't I just take the paper and keep my mouth shut. What is this psychotic pride. Where is the bathroom
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Apr 17, 2016 23:03
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Guess which sides the Bernie delegates are on (it's the right. With all the people.) The Hillary delegates scratch itches, read books. They don't talk amoungst each other. They live their solitude and martyrdom for appearances sake. They are sending the only message they can.
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Apr 17, 2016 23:06
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Trumps Baby Hands posted:A frat boy in a Bernie shirt wanders over to me. He looms above me and hands me a small slip of paper with Bernie's campaign logo on it. I take it for half-a-second, and then hand it back. I say, "No, it's all good, I'm already on board." lol
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Apr 17, 2016 23:09
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This thread is fantastic.
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Apr 17, 2016 23:29
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rip trumps baby hands, still stuck at the caucus.
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Apr 18, 2016 05:03
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Trumps Baby Hands posted:A frat boy in a Bernie shirt wanders over to me. He looms above me and hands me a small slip of paper with Bernie's campaign logo on it. I take it for half-a-second, and then hand it back. I say, "No, it's all good, I'm already on board." you should have a local movement in the bathroom you should poo
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Apr 18, 2016 05:15
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stoutfish posted:do it and you'll get laid i garentee Yes this is why I love conventions and have stepped up continually to become a delegate further and further up. Glad your state party seems to have some organization at least; out here, party only gives a poo poo about one city and is absolutely disorganized everywhere else. You see disorganization in a majority party, you should see opportunity. A small organization with active and coordinated members will kick the poo poo out of a large disorganized and uncoordinated rabble any day. Hell, you could secure the gubernatorial nod for yourself with only, say, 8% of the vote in the first round if you have a small yet mighty machine behind you.
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Apr 18, 2016 09:17
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why put in so much effort to get another guy a 6 figure job?
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Apr 18, 2016 10:16
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Twilight Matrix posted:why put in so much effort to get another guy a 6 figure job? Because it's a 6 figure job that is responsible for awarding out a 10 digit budget. My Imaginary GF has issued a correction as of 11:31 on Apr 18, 2016 |
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Apr 18, 2016 11:19
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fuckin yelm man. i see my pink shirted hillary supporting neighbor made it
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Apr 18, 2016 16:43
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I was elected Vice Chair of my District in Wasilla, Alaska, and then a week and a half later my chair resigned. Sarah Palin's home. Do your job and stop whining.
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Apr 19, 2016 10:18
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The Real Paddy posted:I was elected Vice Chair of my District in Wasilla, Alaska, and then a week and a half later my chair resigned. Sarah Palin's home. do you know sarah personally. i mean there cant be more than like 8 people in wasilla
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Apr 19, 2016 10:39
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Sheng-ji Yang posted:do you know sarah personally. i mean there cant be more than like 8 people in wasilla I was once called for jury duty at the same time as she was...I sat a few feet from her and wore my CCCP shirt and was reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra to make sure jury selection went my way. We were both selected out.
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Apr 19, 2016 11:41
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The Real Paddy posted:was reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra to make sure jury selection went my way. A renowned 19th-century german philosophical novel was the best book you could find for this goal?
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Apr 19, 2016 14:12
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Civilized Fishbot posted:A renowned 19th-century german philosophical novel was the best book you could find for this goal? He wanted to communicate very clearly to the prosecution and defense that, if selected, he would be insufferable (it worked)
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Apr 19, 2016 15:53
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Laphroaig posted:He wanted to communicate very clearly to the prosecution and defense that, if selected, he would be insufferable (it worked) Sometimes, being the most insufferable man in the room ---while being smart enough to get to the room on time--- is all it takes to get ahead in party politics.
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Apr 19, 2016 18:29
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My Imaginary GF posted:Sometimes, being the most insufferable man in the room ---while being smart enough to get to the room on time--- is all it takes to get ahead in party politics. I would also like to point out that Fishmech and Boosted got made mods, thus proving the system works in an [dead gay comedy] autocracy as well.
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Apr 19, 2016 18:58
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Laphroaig posted:...thus proving the system works in an [dead gay comedy] autocracy as well. ...but enough about Ted Cruz and Justin Trudeau.
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Apr 19, 2016 19:10
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I thought Justin Trudeau won by being a dreamboat.
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Apr 19, 2016 19:54
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Sorry for abandoning the thread. Dieting Hippo posted:rip trumps baby hands, still stuck at the caucus. Everything that happened during and after the caucus was very emotionally draining. I've been trapped there mentally, stuck in a catatonic state of fearful reflection. I couldn't get a grip on the thing, the pulsating memories of it. I had thought the caucus would be a "fun haha" event to bring up naturally in conversations with sorority girls and anyone else who has been morally and spiritually Enlightened. Turns out, nope. It morphed into something else entirely, an utterly transformative experience that has left me empty and exhausted. Posting seemed like a futile act. Why yell into a void when something very real and exciting is happening right in front of your own loving eyes? Plus, the manic rush resulting from when I had self-medicated with a disposable vaporizer that morning had worn off around the time I stopped posting, and I started thinking that this thread was a bad idea. That was around noon, about two hours after I'd arrived, and five hours before I hosed up trying to flirt with the cute girl crouching in the top corner of the bleachers, that the elderly Temporary Party Chair leading the Caucus made the horrible announcement that gave us all our first big clue that something was very wrong. They were running late, way late, and I remember thinking,
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Apr 21, 2016 05:26
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I'm either losing my mind or I have already lost it, and really, is there a tangible difference between the two? And before I can disappear into this crippling anxiety attack, this elderly woman crawls her way over to the podium, trembling hands clutching a document on which terrible mathematics have apparently been inscribed, judging by the look on her face. She's holding the paper like it contains an actual curse, and for all I know it does. I don't know what kind of strange Satanist activities these mountain people get up to. How many strange incantations have they pilfered from the gravestones of the Native people who had inhabited this piece of earth, who had lived in balance and harmony with the Land,and were therefore more spiritually advanced then our sinful culture. What if these mountain people have stolen artifacts from the tribes golden age, and repurposed their powerful energies for dark modern purposes? Only ghosts and the Pierce County Democrats could say. I don't believe in either. The elderly woman, with the document, she reaches the podium and lowers the mic to the vincinity of her disappearing mouth, cracked with memories of better days, better elections. Imagine what it feels like to have to tell 400 people bad news through a high school P.A. system. I can see the fear radiating off of her from all the way across the stadium. With great emotional effort, she speaks: "Hello delegates! Thank you so much for your patience. You are such an important part of our democracy, especially you people that have taken time out of your life to do this." Yeah, lady, we get it. Deep down, each and every person in this room believes they are a minor civic hero just for being here. Twilight Matrix posted:why put in so much effort to get another guy a 6 figure job? Because it's the right thing to do. Look at me, I thought. I'm doing my civic duty to the essential spirit of Christian Democracy and also to the kindly old wizard Bernie Sanders. I'm a good person. But also I was very bored and incredibly lonely. It was another psychedelic experience I could shove into my memory and replay over and over as I count the hours of my otherwise unbearable life. I spend all my time rotting away in classrooms, procrastinating on yet another essay about nothing important at all. This election is our escape, and there's no better way to mainline all that delicious political madness than by getting high and driving up into the mountains to attend a District Caucus. Trumps Baby Hands has issued a correction as of 05:31 on Apr 21, 2016 |
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Apr 21, 2016 05:28
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congrats on being high also nice thread i like how it currently cuts off without an actual conclusion thats very experimental
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Apr 21, 2016 05:40
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By the way, I should mention that some people took this poo poo very, very seriously, especially those that wanted to move on up to the next level. At our precinct caucus we'd all just kind of said, "sure, I'll do it, whatever", but here people came and handed you things, clever things, in a brazen attempt to convince you of their worthiness 
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Apr 21, 2016 05:42
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oystertoadfish posted:congrats on being high also nice thread i like how it currently cuts off without an actual conclusion thats very experimental thank you for supporting the arts and so I'm here, in these sweaty bleachers, continuing the experiment, trying to listen to the old lady while also keenly aware of the girl sitting in the top-left, who had somehow managed to retreat even further into the finite amount of space between the seat and the wall, driven to hide by some primitive psychosis that I knew I would find fascinating if ever wanted to tell me about them over coffee inside Seattle's new upscale movie theater, the kind that are 21+ and will bring wine and beer to your seat. Maybe she hasn't seen The VVitch yet, or she slept on Midnight Surprise and didn't even know it was still out in theaters, and I say "well it's probably not playing at most theaters, but hip places like this will screen the good movies for a lot longer, especially if they've achieved a certain level of pristigie in the artistic community",and she's all, "Wow, you know so much cool stuff, do you live around here because we should definitely hang out" And then I zone back into the caucus, to the auditorium I zone into the quivering voice on the P.A., the breathing of the alternative delegates sitting next to me, and I feel all the unpleasant sensations of being inside the present moment. A sudden premonition alerts me to the fact that something is about to upset all these people. The elderly lady at the podium, she raises a fist and says, "The Rules Committee have encountered an unexpected situation that has required them to check with the party so as to know what we were supposed to do in this... uhh, scenario." Silence takes control of the room. No one looks at their phone. Hearts beat, eyes stare. She has our attention, and it withers her. She cannot fully occupy the position she has found herself playing in this drama. She was too normal. She looks down at her notes to tries and find an escape there, and delivers her message. It's a message one of simple facts: 325 bound delegates have been seated. 120 alternate delegates have been seated, or stuffed, into the shittiest, most remote bleachers in room, to bear witness 84 people remain unseated, because 84 people haven't shown up. If we can't find a qualified alternative for an empty seat (from the same district, supports the same candidate) then that delegate slot will not count towards the total amount initially pledged to the candidate, be it for Bernie or for Hillary. There was also a small amount of uncommitted delegates, who would get to personally chose how to vote. If one of those seats was absent, then the alternate selected for it would be able to vote for either Bernie or Hilary, based on personal preference. Hundreds of minds collectively churned, sharing an invisible chalkboard upon which we did some calculations. 84 loving people didn't show up?!? The outcome was no longer pre-determined. Delegates were potentially up for grabs. We could still change things. We still had power. And so we would have to go through all 84 seats one-by-one to determine if the delegate had just forgot to sign in, or if there was an alternate from that district. We check our watches and phones, and all 445 of us break out into pandemonium.
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Apr 21, 2016 05:46
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jesus gently caress im on the edge of my seat here
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Apr 22, 2016 04:25
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I live in Puyallup.
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Apr 22, 2016 05:00
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Lawrence Gilchrist posted:jesus gently caress im on the edge of my seat here the tension is building
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Apr 22, 2016 05:46
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