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It's in Yiddish, but i cant make heads or tails of it. That's what i get for not paying attention in hebrew school. Any thoughts??
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Apr 27, 2016 00:42
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he works for a bank
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Apr 27, 2016 00:43
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Chinatown posted:he works for a bank Actually it says he controls all media, you're just a racist.
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Apr 27, 2016 00:45
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It says he'll suck your dick.
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Apr 27, 2016 00:46
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'my phone is low on battery!'
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Apr 27, 2016 00:46
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He's a jewish exorcist, and will exorcise any jewish demons you have with a special app (he doesn't do christian demons)
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Apr 27, 2016 00:48
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RobattoJesus posted:He's a jewish exorcist, and will exorcise any jewish demons you have with a special app (he doesn't do christian demons) Well, will he help me get christ out or not?
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Apr 27, 2016 00:50
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No joke I ran the image through Google translate's app like four times and this is what it's saying it says: "A Smartfoc! Htzibrr is innocent! The public is not naive!" Either this is a business card proclaiming someone's innocence or Google translate doesn't work well.
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Apr 27, 2016 00:50
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Well, will he help me get christ out or not? I said he does jewish demons didn't i.
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Apr 27, 2016 00:53
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Jewish P.I. No Saturdays
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Apr 27, 2016 00:54
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Shalom aleichem to the first page! You have been visited by the Prosperous Jew of Prosperity. Prosperity will be yours if you post "Mazel tov, Prosperous Jew!" in this thread.
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Apr 27, 2016 01:04
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feh. i should be so lucky
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Apr 27, 2016 01:06
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Professor Shark posted:Jewish P.I. i knew the dame was trouble the second she pressed the elevator button on shabbos
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Apr 27, 2016 01:06
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Uncle at Nintendo posted:No joke I ran the image through Google translate's app like four times and this is what it's saying it says: There is a place not too far from me that I drive by all the time, very small storefront with a sign proclaiming the business as '1 Hour Business Cards". Who the gently caress needs business cards made in an hour? And why would that be their primary business? I lost my dog, I need 50 color copies in an hour, sure, gently caress I've got to get a dozen binders of material printed, punched and assembled in an hour, absolutely. Business cards? Now I have my answer if true, crazy people need business cards printed very quickly.
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Apr 27, 2016 01:13
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MiracleWhale posted:i knew the dame was trouble the second she pressed the elevator button on shabbos I chuckled irl that was v good but really he can create a bunch of golems, perhaps via 3D printing 
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Apr 27, 2016 01:48
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That subtle off-white coloring...the tasteful thickness of it...oh my god...it even has a watermark.
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Apr 27, 2016 03:34
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Dacheat posted:It's in Yiddish, but i cant make heads or tails of it. It's a jewish lawyer promising to get you out of jail fast, even for pedophilia and rape You must have looked like a good potential client, op
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Apr 27, 2016 03:52
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Maybe put out a nice brisket in this cell phone why not?
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Apr 27, 2016 03:54
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Mazel tov, Prosperous Jew!
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Apr 27, 2016 17:29
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It says "Why look at a card when you can look at a cell phone you loving idiot?"
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Apr 27, 2016 17:34
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Gas the kykes race war now!! (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 27, 2016 17:43
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I'll do whatever he does for less, OP
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Apr 27, 2016 17:48
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Who cares what it says. It's in Hebrew/Yiddish/Whatever because he's bad at whatever it is that he does and has to rely on other insecure Jews in his conclave because the outside world has no need for him.
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Apr 27, 2016 17:50
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Is the pic of him a selfie he took...to put on the card??
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Apr 27, 2016 17:52
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the hebrew hitters do it again call 1 800 law עברית
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Apr 27, 2016 17:55
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better call Sidney Applebaum
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Apr 27, 2016 17:57
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looks like you should be able to read it if you hold it up to a mirror
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Apr 27, 2016 18:11
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The Human Crouton posted:Who cares what it says. It's in Hebrew/Yiddish/Whatever because he's bad at whatever it is that he does and has to rely on other insecure Jews in his conclave because the outside world has no need for him. Woah
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Apr 27, 2016 18:13
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It looks expensive don't break it
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Apr 27, 2016 22:45
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Three Olives posted:There is a place not too far from me that I drive by all the time, very small storefront with a sign proclaiming the business as '1 Hour Business Cards". Who the gently caress needs business cards made in an hour? And why would that be their primary business? I lost my dog, I need 50 color copies in an hour, sure, gently caress I've got to get a dozen binders of material printed, punched and assembled in an hour, absolutely. Business cards? I work in the print industry. Trust me, it happens. Invariably it's the result of someone deciding at the very last minute: "gently caress, you know what would make my networking event great?! loving business cards!!!"
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Apr 27, 2016 22:56
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Dacheat posted:It's in Yiddish, but i cant make heads or tails of it. The text I can actually see in that image is in Hebrew. It says: "Smartphone owner! The public is not naive! Everybody knows that you are certainly doing seriously forbidden things!" The three letters in the top right are short for "In the Name of God", more traditionalist and strict Orthodox Jews are compelled to add that to any written script. I think the test in the middle-right at right angles to the rest is "Guards" and a phone number. If you upload a higher resolution image, I can tell you what the small print says, too.
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Apr 28, 2016 05:26
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Absurd Alhazred posted:The text I can actually see in that image is in Hebrew. Why would they make a business card for this. Also which word is the big one in the middle.
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Apr 28, 2016 06:36
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SHISHKABOB posted:Why would they make a business card for this. Also which word is the big one in the middle. I'm guessing it's an advertisement for a service to help you repent from your sinful ways. The big word is masculine singular present "to fail/stumble", literally it says: "Everyone knows that you have stumbled into severely forbidden [deeds]". Where did you find this, OP?
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Apr 28, 2016 06:44
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The card is for a costume store for when you go home to your overly devout family for the holidays. Look, they'll even let you borrow a phone so you can take photos in the store in case the folks on the homefront don't believe you.
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Apr 28, 2016 06:44
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Trojan.exe posted:The card is for a costume store for when you go home to your overly devout family for the holidays. Look, they'll even let you borrow a phone so you can take photos in the store in case the folks on the homefront don't believe you. לא תקלל חרש ולפני עור לא תתן מכשול!
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Apr 28, 2016 06:47
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Absurd Alhazred posted:The text I can actually see in that image is in Hebrew. This post explains the star next to your username.
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Apr 28, 2016 08:54
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it's either for a bank or a deli.Absurd Alhazred posted:I'm guessing it's an advertisement for a service to help you repent from your sinful ways. The big word is masculine singular present "to fail/stumble", literally it says: "Everyone knows that you have stumbled into severely forbidden [deeds]". Wait... Jews have confession?
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Apr 28, 2016 09:00
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are these the letters you read right to left...? or whas it left to right?
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Apr 28, 2016 09:04
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amityville anus posted:This post explains the star next to your username.  Rape Stink posted:it's either for a bank or a deli.  quote:Wait... Jews have confession? No, but you can be helped to become stronger in your faith, repent from your bad ways and return to the righteous path, ask forgiveness from God and man on Yom Kippur, etc. Mostly you are helped to avoid sin, though. Hence the increasingly isolationist stream in ultra-orthodox Judaism from which this calling card/ad stems, although I would have to see the fine print before I know whether it's proposing that you drop the smartphone entirely, or whether it's for a specialized cell/internet plan which will block bad websites and shut down on the Sabbath. solaranus posted:are these the letters you read right to left...? or whas it left to right? You are reading English left to right hopefully. Hebrew is written right to left, yes.
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Apr 28, 2016 09:10
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Absurd Alhazred posted:
Cool TIL. Anyway, is it talking about porno? I always thought porn wasn't a big deal in the Jewish faith since every single one of my Jewish buddies growing up had massive caches of porno that they didn't even bother hiding. E: Oh wait that's right, can't use electronics on the sabbath... I am suck at reading comprehension.
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Apr 28, 2016 09:16
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