Let's Learn About Nauru!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Let's Learn About Nauru!

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Can we blow up nukes on these islands?

# ¿ May 9, 2016 18:55

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 00:57

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Lascivious Sloth posted:

Interesting stuff

Do you have any pictures of the 'downtown' with grocery stores and bars or anything 'commercial'?

# ¿ May 10, 2016 15:29

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Pawn 17 posted:

OP presents an island paradise and it turns out to be a massive shithole. Do they have internet there? TV?

it'd have to be satellite. I for one would like to see other baron hellscape island paradises.

# ¿ May 10, 2016 18:20

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Lascivious Sloth posted:

There's basically two cover bands that turn up nearly every night in 2 bars (jewles and menen). There's the Menen hotel which used to be a fancy hotel on the beachfront, but the Australian owners were kicked out of the country and the government took over and it went down the drain since then. The government has a history of just cancelling the visa of business investors and taking over their ventures and then running them into the ground for every penny.

There's about 4 bars in Nauru. The Menen is the hotel on the beach. The Odin is a chinese run restaurant front with a bar inside with pool tables and pokie machines, and a creep dark walk to the bathroom with old run down pokie machines looming over those that walk through and that no one bothered fixing. The third is an indian/tovalu/fijian run pizza/italian restaurant with a back porch area full of mosquitos that will give you dengue fever (the most horrible bone breaking disease.) Lastly is Jewels which is a night club/ outdoor bar on the beach, right next door to a pig farm so the rife smell of pig poo poo is ever present adding a nice aphrodisiac to the air as you dance to the same cover band songs they play every night.

They have one internet service provider (Digicel) and it's controlled by the state and they reap all the benefits. if you post anything on facebook (which has been blocked many times during criticism against it's government) then you can go to the goulag (I mean prison.) I've been inside the prison and it's basically a torture centre endorsed by the Australian government. The police asked me to type into the computer some charges because they couldn't spell/write in english.

There are coral pinnacles dotting the island and especially in the centre of the island making it a perfect island prison:

The top of the Odin is a beautiful little rooftop lounging area:

China town has lots of inflatable floaties.. but no one game enough to use them in the water at risk of being sucked out to sea, and they're never used in the only safe swimming spot, the harbor. It's a mystery where the inflatable child's toys end up:

The cover band at Jewels plays the same shity 80s rock cover song again:

The creepy walk to the toilet at the Odin. Who knows how many women have been sexually assaulted as the dead pokies look on:

The view overlooking the crushed export empire. The country was per capita the richest country in the world in the 60s or around then. They would fly out their soccer team in first class around the world to play matches. They would run jets between locations without anyone on board. They wasted away all the money they gained into nothing. Now the rich elite have all bought properties and houses in Australia and have either left or will leave once the island drowns into the oceans. One good thing global warming will achieve.

More military hardware. this is the main gun on topside island. I don't know what it is. some Japanese huge anti aircraft gun.

The only flight company that can fly to Nauru (Our airline).. another monopolised and failed company. it is only, like most of the island, living off the curtails of the Australian governments immigration policy. the last 3 weeks 2 young adults (1 male Iranian, and 1 Somali woman who had been through hell and raped many times escaping her conflict zone) self immolated rather than face the poo poo conditions of Nauru:

Yes tyvm

# ¿ May 10, 2016 23:25

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Wow you have a lot of pics. Did you sell your story or tell the un or something? Christ on a cracker, that's bad poo poo going on. Why does no one care?

# ¿ May 11, 2016 02:00

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Pick posted:

Sounds like LS is doing that thing where you're legitimately a good person, which means taking risks and standing up for what's important, and FG is a prototypical goon who never takes any risks, connects to any other person, or does anything of value, secure in the knowledge that "lol nothing matters".

Harsh, but true

# ¿ May 11, 2016 03:03

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

MissEchelon posted:

Yeah Australia's border force has a program for that: http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/backgroundbriefing/silencing-public-servants/7367576

Social media monitoring software is commercially available. I use it. It's loving scary, but legal. Just not when you use it to throw people on an island I guess. Everything is watched, every keyword. By thousands of companies and governments. Your foolish to think otherwise. Paywalls lol

# ¿ May 11, 2016 03:18

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

What's gaol

# ¿ May 11, 2016 03:25

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Has Nauru had a cyclone or hurricane or whatever? I bet that would be fun.

# ¿ May 11, 2016 19:24

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Lolie posted:

The Pacific is full of Lord of the Flies islands.

Why did goons pick Hawaii?

# ¿ May 12, 2016 00:58

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

drunk asian neighbor posted:

holy poo poo

I wonder what the official FCO reasoning for that rule is, because I can't see any government in the world going on the record to say "don't take your kids to our sovereign territory because literally every male adult there is a child molester"

Why would they send a govt official there?

# ¿ May 12, 2016 01:44

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Oh Hell No posted:

Ahahaha, I had a psychology professor in college who upheld this place as a model for healthy, natural sexual mores, as opposed to our awful prudish ~Christian~ sexual morality that kept boobies off the TV and his wife from agreeing to an open marriage (he actually complained about that in class).

What school was that?

# ¿ May 12, 2016 02:33

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Maybe these stories are over blown and fanfic of nerds?

# ¿ May 13, 2016 00:14

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

WhiskeyWhiskers posted:

q=/=e

Why do people do this?

# ¿ May 13, 2016 00:24

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

nockturne posted:

Is this the baby who was born on Nauru and is essentially a stateless person because lol stop the boats?

Tried to sneak into the country in her mother's womb. If we're not tough on that sort of thing it just encourages them.

Bae has a passport? Nope.

# ¿ May 13, 2016 00:25

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

boom boom boom posted:

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) persons in Papua New Guinea face legal challenges not experienced by non-LGBT residents. Male same-sex sexual activity is prohibited by Section 210 of the Papua New Guinea Penal Code. Those caught engaging in anal sex can get punished with up to fourteen years imprisonment. Other same-sex sexual acts can be punished with up to three years imprisonment.[1] Papua New Guinea has a traditional Christian society.[2] In 2011, the government informed the United Nations that it will not decriminalise homosexuality.[3]

So no punishment for chick on chick, sweet.

# ¿ May 15, 2016 19:16

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

meselfs posted:

In countries like this it's assumed there's no such thing, why make laws.

Oh, but there's an exception, this is ok, just fine:

https://sexual-communication.wikispaces.com/Sambian+Tribal+Sexual+Ritual

That's a lot of seman drinking

# ¿ May 15, 2016 22:45

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

I bet tindr on that island is a blast

# ¿ May 16, 2016 20:54

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 00:57

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Baka-nin posted:

This, answers my question perfectly, thank you.

Oh and hey guys let's not be too hard on the good Baron, he's not lazy, he was just playing a long game and has finally brought in a series of reforms that will bring Nauru into the 20th century!

All hail the breaker of chains! and the father of... wild dogs.

What's the pedo fine now?

# ¿ May 28, 2016 03:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Let's Learn About Nauru!