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 as you set foot into the tavern the roar of conversation dulls as various adventurers pause, take your measure, and resume their talk. you approach the bar and are greeted by the bartender.  "so, let me guess, you're looking for a crew to try your luck against the lich, yeah? I'm sure if you hang you'll find some people to give it a go with." you grab the drink you ordered and turn around, stopping at the bartender grabbing your arm. "Find a crew and I'll show ye to the entrance." Hey everybody I just want to roleplay this idea out, no character sheets just give me a picture, your skills, and what kind of drink you have. once i have four or five we'll start you off. |
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May 9, 2016 19:17
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 18:29 |
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the bartender looks over the motley crew, and shrugs his shoulders. "your funeral. entrance is in the back, follow me." "if you die we have someone sweep through and clean out your pockets, but they res you too don't expect the dungeon to remain the same if you try again." as the group descends the smell of honey reaches you, and a buzzing starts to resonate through the cavern.  it's at least four giant bees!! who ever was in front noticed them first, so tell me how you attack
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May 9, 2016 21:51
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the bees glance at each other and chuckle nervously at this brave, bold, and hilarious adventurer who they have never seen before in their lives. one of them starts to buzz a reply, but stops when (maybe frank?) places a feeler on it
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May 9, 2016 22:23
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:Being too late for the adventure, I continue drinking. The alcohol has little obvious effect, maybe it makes my shooting a little straighter. the man in black fled into the desert, and the Skull with no name followed
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May 9, 2016 22:23
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the bees are getting down! honey sneezes are great, and who doesn't like a good pratfall? they let the very offensive dancing by splatmaster go, cuz he clearly doesn't know what he's telling them. just as things seem to be really winding up a new louder buzzing comes in. it's a bee killing hornet!! oh god it has frank! FRAAAAANK!
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May 10, 2016 00:27
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Yobgoblin posted:I swing my morning star at a bee's head you hit the bee for 7 damage! it was worried about Frank, but now it's attention turns to you. it attempts to sting you but critically fumbles stabbing the hornet instead TWIST FIST posted:i take out my reverse bee repellent spray from my reverse utility belt and spray it on the wall your reverse bee repellant attracts even more bees! they ignore the clumsy adventurers and start swarming the hornet  treasure bear posted:i got lost even though the exit was only 20ft back and i've been running against a solid wall like in a videogame for the last 3 minutes so far nothing seems to be happening but wait, you appear to gradually start clipping through the wall, if you keep this up for another few minutes who knows what could happen?
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May 10, 2016 01:27
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:i continue to follow the man in black. one day i'll catch up to him and send him straight to hell for what he's done. the trail leads beyond the desert and into the mountains, the only question is where does the trail lead? up into the snowy heights or into an old abandoned mine? Doc Friday posted:"Beehind you!" I say, as I charge at one of the bees. thanks to your timely warning the bee dodges the deadly pincer bite of the hornet. it turns to thank you only to find you face first on the ground. after picking you up and brushing off some dust it turns to join the swarm smothering the hornet. TWIST FIST posted:i throw a reverse batarang at the bee but it turns around and hits me instead the reverse batarang automatically deploys soothing jazz and anti headache balm, it clears up your headache! at this point treasure bear seems to have no clipped through the stage! without magical intervention or an act of god he could be stuck for some time
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May 10, 2016 04:40
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Splatmaster posted:Still dancin', yeah! *shake* *shake* *shake* your fancy dance moves not withstanding you fall through the air with the other members of your party. they're pretty impressed that you keep dancing as you fall. gain some bonus xp treasure bear posted:i clip back in-bounds and fall through the ceiling and into the new hole in the floor you fall into the hole, and drag wayne bruce behind you reverse grappling hook still attached Doc Friday posted:I strike a pose celebrating our victory over the hornet. Suddenly, I hear a loud groan, and the floor gives out from underneath me. your incompetence is a threat to the dungeon's structural integrity! you, your teammates, and the hornet's corpse tumble through the air, and the debris punches through floor after floor bypassing traps and dungeon dwellers alike. you land in the gooey remains of what appears to be a black ooze, a bit lands in your mouth and is that... Yes it's delicious blackberry ooze! it's broken your fall and offered a brief snack. up ahead a pair of large metal doors stand with badass skulls emblazoned on them Yobgoblin posted:I roll to help treasure bear out of the mysterious hole by some miracle you avoided the floor collapse, but in your haste to help you trip and join the others as they fall. Saint Isaias Boner posted:the snowy heights of the mountain are impassable this time of year (summer). He must have gone into the mine. He's cornered. I'll catch him there. the man in black is waiting deep within, and you finally see him standing across from you in a dark cavern. a glowing x is directly between you two, and he's standing next to a lever, waggling his eyebrows at you Slugnoid posted:BANG! the saloon doors swing open and the goblin on the piano stops playing as I swagger in out of the desert sun, my fingers resting lightly above the ivory handle of my peacemaker. you proceed to have a relaxing and chill time in the bar. you think the bartender might have a lead on a mysterious adventure, if you get some people together. your mead has the faint suggestion of honey and is excellent as meads go
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May 10, 2016 19:43
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Doc Friday posted:As I approach the door, the skulls' eyes light up. With a booming voice, they call out, "Who are you?" the skulls on the door manage to roll their eyes, despite the complete absence of any. "Alright it's your funeral, just quit it with the puns." With an ominous groan the doors swing open, revealing a two headed ogre!"  "Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! I smell the blood of someone dumb!" the right head cries out, the left one rolls it's eye and shoulders the massive club. "Give a shout when you're ready to die." treasure bear and wayne bruce take a moment to gather themselves. Saint Isaias Boner posted:im not here to play games. i narrow my eyeholes, shift my cigarillo from one side of my mouth to the other, spit, and step right over the middle of that X on my way over to the man in black "You see the thing is you're supposed to step around the x and then trap doors open up. I don't suppose there's any chance you would oblige..." The man in black turns and runs down the corridor, vanishing out of sight quickly in the dark mine.
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May 10, 2016 22:10
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:"not a chance in hell" i growl to no one in particular, and follow the man in black at a steady pace deeper in to the mine. as you follow him you hear the sound of rushing water growing louder. the tunnel opens up to reveal an underground river and the man in black hopping into a row boat! another row boat is nearby, what do you do? Splatmaster posted:I stop dancing and fade into the shadows, my goal is to step up behind the new two-headed menace and backstab it for oodles of damage! it looks like the left head managed to notice you! unfortunately you're not gonna get a clean sneak attack, unless someone can come up with a good, annoying distraction treasure bear posted:i continue to play dead a giant bee has buzzed down to make sure the hornet is thoroughly dead, but catching a whiff of honey on you decides you're more interesting. it starts licking and cleaning your fur
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May 11, 2016 03:10
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:Being a boneman I'm deathly afraid of water (our bony arms and legs let a lot of water through and make swimming a chore, and it's a huge pain in the rear end to walk across the bottom of a body of water intact. also all skeletons hate getting wet in general ever since that business with the Argonauts). I let him go. The man in black let's off a firey burst of magic in your direction, but misses you striking the tunnel behind you! it collapses, and it seems the rest of the cave has become unstable as well! Unless you hop in the boat it looks like you'll be stuck for a long time. Doc Friday posted:"Ogre here!" I call out to the monster. neither head is able to ignore such an atrocious pun, and with their full attention on you splatmaster has his chance! with a solid crit he deals a whopping 18 points of damage! the ogre roars in pain and lashes out at doc, but can't manage to focus enough to land a solid blow! treasure bear and his bee buddy are joined by another bee. feeling left out it picks up wayne bruce and starts grooming him
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May 11, 2016 18:26
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treasure bear posted:i tip the bee it makes polite buzzings about not possibly being able to accept before doing so Yobgoblin posted:i light up the room pulling out a concealed machine gun even yobgoblin didn't know he had he sprays the room with bullets! he takes out the left head's eye and it slumps down. "Archibald nooooooooooo!" it cries out as the club drops from the left hand. the right cradles Archibald in his hand as they drop to their knees. somehow he fails to strike doc friday, and grazed splatmaster for 4 damage. the ogre appears to be defeated, what do you do?
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May 12, 2016 01:15
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Android Blues posted:i surreptitiously begin filling out an HR incident report beneath the folds of my voluminous robe you pass the roll with ease, concealing your work while accurately detailing the nature of the incident. this is surely something you've never dealt with before
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May 12, 2016 05:55
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TWIST FIST posted:there there, hes in a better place. although only half of him is there so hes probably still not having a good time you roll to console the remaining head and... succeed! the pain is still there, but he's able to conceive of a time when the hurt will be a reminder, a distant scar in time and space. 9hotonic posted:i bark the acoustics are really great for this! you hear fainter barking you think there might be someone else barking? do you bark again? Luvcow posted:i wheel myself into the room because I'm looking for my dad the two headed ogre. "roll to survive a broken heart, little one, for Archibald is dead." you roll a 9, and were your health better this wouldn't be an issue. a young life is in danger! do the adventurers try and do anything about it? As for the Skull with no name, almost like he isn't controlling his body he finds himself propelled down the underground river in the rowboat. he seem dry, and protected from the cursed water rushing below him. he can make out the man in black up ahead, what does he do?
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May 12, 2016 22:21
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Doc Friday posted:I kill some rats for experience points one of the rats you kill is wearing a cute pink bow! you've fatally wounded it, it beckons you closer with its dying breath it squeaks out the location of the treasure, but alas! you do not speak rat oh hey you got enough exp to level up! same for the rest of the crew as well
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May 12, 2016 23:54
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TWIST FIST posted:i take out my reverse bat translator to try and translate the rats words but it just translates my words to rat instead the rat smiles as if to say, "How perfect, born not understanding, die not being understood." Android Blues posted:ha ha, i say, i sure do enjoy "levelling up" and reaching a new level which is one infinitesimal fraction closer to that of the remorseless maven of the arcane who rules this place, whose power is immense and eternal as unto the end of time, who can never be toppled from the throne of hollow mastery whose sitting price they have paid by steeping in darkest wickedness their very soul you roll quite high in your effort to pick it, but it just doesn't seem to take. a shadow, unseen by the others slides off from the wall and deposits a scrap of parchment in your hand. "Sir, when you do next enjoy a small increase to your already mighty and awe-inspiring power you might consider something along the lines of skin thief? or perhaps the subtlety of shadow walk might be enjoyed. Either way we look forward to the results!"
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May 13, 2016 02:02
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Luvcow posted:i add points to walking in the hope that my crippled ogre legs will one day work again, full well knowing that they won't you somehow manage to add the points, but it seems to make no difference to your health. despite this, the adventurer's kindness seems to have done wonders for your continuing to live past your father. Splatmaster posted:I add points to Troll Grappling just in case we need to grapple a troll your troll wrasslin skill allows to pick a feat do you embrace: The Lucha Way: You can challenge a masked wrestler to claim his mask and signature move, so long as the mask stays on you will gain a bonus to wrestling, unarmed fighting, and strength. You cannot perform the signature move without the corresponding mask. Kayfabe: You never break character. IF good aligned you gain the face ability which gives a bonus to charisma and performance checks. If evil you gain the heel ability which gives a bonus to stamina and saving throws. Either way you get a big bonus to bluff. treasure bear posted:but then i get distracted and drop him he sorta falls back into the crudely constructed wheel chair. you can tell it was built with love if not skill, and the father carved in a message expressing his love for little luvcow. 9hotonic posted:i bark again!! i bark again!!! you don't know who this dog thinks it is, but somehow its barks and yours combine to form https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4wptBuM6zs Doc Friday posted:I make sure the rat is dead and choose a random perk. given the small rat family surrounding the corpse and squeaking, pulling our their fur, and gnashing their teeth it seems you may face a vengeance quest in the future. this rat is dead though. you go to increase your luck but for some reason you can only take away points? your luck has somehow gone negative! you now have Dumb Luck: Bad things and bad rolls happen more often around you, but you almost always seem to land on your feet. The entire party moves forward and comes across a circular chamber. in the center surrounded by goblins and orcs shouting and holding wads of money a battle is going on. a shirtless troll, wearing a blue mask with a fin on top is shouting. "Yo soy Tiburon del Tierra. Lucame y pierda!" Facing him is a large Orc with a thousand mile stare. "Gragh 3:16, for I am a merciful god who is swift in crushing his enemies. Don't think, cabron, that you can walk into my cave and have it your way, you are going down!" Does the party place bets? Do they interfere with the match?
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May 13, 2016 20:22
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Splatmaster posted:I take the Lucha Way you're very excited to join the fight, but without a hype man or a manager the victor of the fight probably won't take you seriously. Yobgoblin posted:I tell the goblins to join us one or two glance over, but they got no reason to follow you. maybe if you were like a wrestle manager or made good bets, but right now you're just another goblin. Doc Friday posted:I throw down some steel coins. is this a bet for el Tiburon or Rock Hard Gragh?
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May 16, 2016 00:30
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Doc Friday posted:"I can't bet on my own guy?" I ask. The goblin shakes his head in the negative. "Fine then, I guess I'll cast my lot for Rock Hard Gragh." I give the betting goblin a stony glare as I secure my bets. Your bet is one of the last as the bell goes off. Rock Hard Gragh starts off strong, rocking el Tiburon with a solid combo to the body. The mighty Tiburon counters catching his right arm and launching himself into a standing arm bar. Only an opponent as strong as Gragh could be open to such an attack or deliver a mighty counter by slamming him onto the ring floor. It looks bad for Tiburon but he shakes it off, and quickly gets to his feet. El Tiburon lands blow after blow, leaving Gragh dazed on his feet. Dropping him with a vicious stunner he picks him up and tangles him into the crude ropes that are the boundaries. After a running start his flying kick leaves Gragh sprawled out on the floor, ripe for a pin! 1! 2! The tiny goblin reg shouts. 3! 4! Gragh is showing signs of life and manages to buck Tiburon off. What a recovery! He's hitting back hard and leaving no openings. Is this it for the land shark? He looks to be out on his feet, but what's this‽ A masked wrestler comes from behind and hits Rock Hard Gragh with a stool. The stool shatters on his body but drops him. Tiburon recovers and grabs the hand of his ally. It's el Pulpo Papa! His trademark pointy hat and tentacled face mark him as someone not to be tangled with. The spandex outfit leaves nothing to the imagination which is really unfortunate for everyone involved. It looks like Gragh is outnumbered, now would be the perfect time to step in and help if someone wanted to start their wrestling career off right. Munchables posted:
The bartender gives you one of the cheaper bowls and fills it with some glass, loose bolts, and sawdust. You take a bite and relish the taste of iron filling your mouth. You spot Slugnoid drinking at one of the tables and think about joining.
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May 17, 2016 23:05
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