sassassin posted:

Your guide to the squad by Captain "Big" Ash (an Englishman):

Wayne Hennessey - "Has a double act with Joe Ledley" (sever)

Owain Fon Williams - "If there's a guitar and a beer he's there"

Danny Ward - "Don't know much about him"

Neil Taylor - "He bores me because I see him every day"

James Chester - "Chezzy"

James Collins - "He's got ADHD, he can't sit still or relax, he's never in his room"

Ben Davies - "Ben's job is quizmaster" (sever)

Ashley "Jazz" Richards - "He's important to the team" (lol)

Chris Gunter - "Gunts is annoying... the biggest moaner I've ever known"

Joe Allen - "We have a Whatsapp messaging group and at least once a week we have a Joe Allen Appreciation day."

David Cotterill - "Very, very loud"

My close personal friend David Edwards - "Far quieter than the likes of me"

Andy King - "Dry sense of humour... if you're close to him he'll let you have it" (knob)

George Williams - "Not the brightest and I don't know how he's got through life so far."

Johnny Williams - "Great lad, terrible hair. Honestly, it's awful."

Aaron Ramsey - "Does get a little bit involved with the banter" (A beard is like a haircut for your face)

Joe Ledley - "Deadly... massive... something"

David Vaughan - "Just a mouse. Don't think I've heard him speak"

Gareth Bale - "Baleo is Baleo"

Sam Vokes - "The biggest head you'll ever find... just literally massive head.

Simon Church - "The butt of most people's jokes"

Hal Robson Kanu - "Absolutely loves himself"